The Deal
by Yvette14
Summary: Dipper and Mabel return to Gravity Falls again next summer and Dipper meets Bill for the first time. Bill offers to show Dipper the mysteries of Gravity Falls and in exchange, the boy must find Bill a physical body to inhabit. DISCONTINUED
1. Returning to Gravity Falls

**DON'T SKIP THIS A/N PLEASE, IT'S IMPORTANT.  
Note: This is an AU where the twins never interacted with Bill. The events of Weirdmageddon never happened, neither did sock opera, Gideon never summoned Bill to get into the safe, etc. Stan and Ford never left, either. Just for plot sake. Also, this chapter isn't very important; it's just Mabel and Dipper returning to GF with no main plot whatsoever. Dipper will meet Bill in the next chapter (which will probably be a hell of a lot shorter than this one.) So yeah, you can skip to that if you want.**

* * *

Lush trees towered high, untamed bushes over-grew the grass and beautiful wild-flowers popped with bright colours and stood tall at the edge of the forest; but it was all a blur in his eyes as the large vehicle sped down the road. Watching through the window, but not seeing all that was there. Not truly. He rested his bare elbow on the warm, metal ledge of the bus and his cheek rested on an enclosed fist that was sweating slightly in the already scorching pre-summer heat; his other hand sat idly in his lap, fingers fiddling with the edge of his shorts' leg lazily. A pop song hummed almost inaudibly from the speaker above his head, but he recognised it as something that was quite popular in his home town. Feet swinging off the edge of the seat, he was impatient with the long bus ride. His head was sweating under the hat he wore – her hat, the hat she'd given him – and he reached up to lazily pull it from his head and down into an unceremonious, albeit small, pile in his lap and he sighed in frustration at the scorching temperature. His hand moved idly across the bus seat but he pulled back his hand quickly and his face contorted into one of disgust when his fingers brushed again a solid, yet squishy object stuck beneath the seat; he presumed it was someone's old, dried gum.

An excited shriek erupted from the girl next to him, his twin sister. "I can't believe we're finally going back to Gravity Falls! Has it really been a year already? I'm so happy! Aren't you happy, Dipper?" she gushed, prodding him in the rib cage continuously. Dipper looked at his sibling, smiling happily at her. Despite the high temperature, she was clad in her favourite pink jumper which had a shooting star pattern sown into it – the twins had barely grown over the course of a year. A simple, purple skirt accompanied the sweater and a pair of white socks and black slip-on shoes donned her feet. Her hair had been trimmed over the year a few times, and whereas everybody else suggested she try a new style, she insisted on keeping the classic 'Mabel-do' as she had called it; a pink headband rested on her head, complimenting her jumper nicely. She still had her braces, which were to be taken out halfway through the summer. "I know that Waddles is happy!" she picked up said pig – who surprisingly hadn't grown much – and hugged him close, playing with his cheeks and squishing them together playfully.

"Yeah, we finally get to see everybody again, I can't wait!" Dipper replied enthusiastically.  
"I know! Soos, Wendy, Candy and Grenda!" she shrieked again excitedly, "why is it taking so long?" she asked impatiently.  
"We'll be there before we know it, Mabel. Look," he pointed out of the window he sat next to, "there's the welcome sign. You know how small Gravity Falls is, we'll be there in ten minutes."  
"Ten minutes is still too long!" she huffed.  
"Better than ten hours."

* * *

Their bedroom was just how they left it. Dusty books sat upon the shelves, the triangular window was as dirty as ever – and was covered in what Dipper suspected might have been bird droppings, - a white, circular rug was spread in the centre of the room, a large chest was in another corner and the old, unsteady, and wooden table remained pushed against the wall between their beds, in front of the window. Mabel was standing on her already messy bed – ignorant to the dirt she was putting on her sheets – and taping more boy-band posters to her wall. Her clothes had already been neatly folded and were in a small chest that sat at the end of her bed. Dipper, however had flung his clothes around the room and left them on the floor. He was hanging up a pair of binoculars and the pterodactyl tooth that he'd gained last summer when they'd had to save Waddles. He smiled at the memory.

"Do you think Wendy and Soos will visit tomorrow? I hope so; I've missed them so much!" Mabel spoke.  
"Well, considering tomorrow's Monday. If they don't come to visit us, they'll come to work." Dipper smiled at the enthusiasm.  
"Oh yeah, then you can give Wendy her hat back, and get yours, too!" the girl belly-flopped onto her bed, landing face first into a soft, warm pillow. She mumbled something inaudible through the fabric and Dipper asked her to repeat herself. "I said" she lifted her face from the pillow, resting her chin on it, instead. "Do you still have a thing for Wendy?" she smirked knowingly.  
"What?" the male-twin blushed at the question, "no, I never did, what makes you think I did?"  
Mable laughed at his reaction.

Dipper honestly didn't like the red-head anymore. Had he liked her last summer? Undeniably. But now? The feelings had withered over time and he found that he was ok with it. He would still get embarrassed if someone were to bring up his way-too-obvious crush that he had a year prior, but now he had accepted that Wendy was too old for him and he'd moved on; it was time to find someone else.

"Kids," called a familiar and gruff voice from downstairs; their Grunkle Stan had been waiting outside the Mystery Shack when they arrived that day, along with their Great Uncle Ford: the two used to argue constantly before, but the younger twins noticed that they didn't as much now. At least, they hadn't yet. Furthermore, the two men had barely changed at all otherwise; they owned the same old clothes and acted the same as always. While Stan scammed various tourists, bleeding their pockets dry for only the worst quality merchandise available, Ford had continued his research on the paranormal happenings and other phenomenon that took place in or near the small town of Gravity Falls. "We got pizza, come get some!" Stan yelled.

"Pizza!" The brunettes cheered, ambling down the stairs quickly. As soon as they reached the bottom of the rickety, old staircase – jumping over the step that had fallen through – a delicious aroma hit them, causing their mouths to water slightly.

Sitting at opposite ends of the table so they could face each other, each twin took a portion of pizza, not bothering to fetch plates, and devoured the meal quickly. Stan and Ford were already at the table, also sitting opposite each other; Stan donned his typical lazy-day attire: a stained, white wife-beater, a pair of old, blue boxers, a probably-fake gold chain hung around his neck, a pair of purple, fuzzy slippers clung to his feet, and his trademark fez sat upon his head with his usual glasses. Ford was clad in a red turtle-neck jumper that hung out over a worn and black pair of baggy jeans. He wore a large trench-coat, muddied boots that had clearly seen better days, and his typical pair of glasses.

"So how were your parents?" Stan asked through a mouth full of cheesy pizza.  
Dipper shrugged, "pretty good."  
"We told them all about Gravity Falls and the monsters and everything that happened! You should've seen their faces when we told them about you, Great Uncle Ford!" Mabel blurted enthusiastically.  
Ford's brows furrowed as he swallowed. "You told them about me?"  
The thirteen-year-old girl hesitated before confirming, only for the boy opposite of her to snort sarcastically: "not that they believed us. They didn't believe anything we said," he frowned and took another bite.  
"Eh, your parents never believed that kind of thing; don't bother trying to explain it to 'em now, kid." Stan dismissed.

Soon after their late dinner and having watched a terrible, old film – which Mabel commented was nearly as old as Stan himself – the twins set off to their bedroom; neglecting their dental hygiene and going straight to bed. The mattress was soft and inviting for Dipper, and he found that once he snuggled under his miraculously clean blankets and set his head in his comfortable pillow, he was almost instantly pulled into sleep's embrace.

* * *

Slithers of sunlight shone through the triangular window, illuminating the room with its brilliant warmth and tinting the world an enticing orange. The blankets tangled around him encouraged him to simply stay put, to close his eyes and lay there forever; which he would have gladly done if it weren't for the distinct giggling of three girls and the soft pressure running along his forehead. Dipper cracked his eyes open; barely slits. Candy and Mabel were obviously failing to attempt to hold in their laughter as Grenda dragged something across his face, a look of pure concentration plastered to hers. Realisation dawned on the brunet like the rising sun outside and he jolted up, startling the large girl and causing her to giggle with her friends. "What did you do?" He demanded, all traces of sleep had vanished in an instant; the girls only giggled before running out the room. Flinging the blankets aside, he struggled to untangle himself from them for a minute before falling off the bed in his effort; he stumbled up and steadied himself when he was dizzied from a head-rush. The cool, wooden floorboards stimulated his bare feet and his toes tickled as he progressed to the bathroom, passing the still giggling girls on his way.

Shutting and locking the door, Dipper examined his reflection, only to sigh at the mess of multi-coloured ink decorating the skin. Adorning his forehead was a poorly-coloured rainbow that stretched from one eyebrow to the other and had pink unicorns standing on it; a leprechaun was drawn to look like it was standing on his right eyebrow whereas a pot of gold was on the left. An inky black filled out a large area around his eyes and in a hot-pink, on one cheek it was written and circled; "im a panda" with terrible grammar and all. He shifted his head to see on his other cheek were the words: "Candy was here xxx!" His nose was coloured black and a green beard and moustache was scribbled poorly around his mouth and along his jawline, all the way up to meet his side-burns.

Filling the stained and once-white sink with warm water, Dipper splashed the liquid over his face a few times before lathering the bar of soap and rubbing the suds across his skin; he washed off the soap before repeating the process two more times and then rubbing his face in a white, fluffy towel harshly – he suspected the towel had been stolen from a hotel by his Grunkle Stan. Glancing in the mirror, his face was pink from the harsh treatment of the towel and unsurprisingly most, if not all, of the ink _still_ stained his skin. The brunet let out a frustrated noise and he wasn't sure if it was a sigh or a scream of anger.

After spending a large portion of the day catching up with Soos and his family – Wendy was away and wouldn't be back in town until the next day, - he went to his bedroom to retrieve his journal and said his goodbyes that afternoon before heading out into the woods in search of something paranormal or supernatural to investigate. As much as the boy loved his family and enjoyed the company of his friends, the thing he found himself craving most at that moment was the thrilling sense of adventure; of danger; of _freedom_ to explore all that was the mystery called Gravity Falls.

With the journal tucked into his vest, the thirteen-year-old slipped through the thick treeline with ease; he admired the towering trees that stood at the edge of the forest and navigated his way through the quickly thickening accumulation of trees. Bushes clawed at the material of his clothes as he passed and tree branches reached out to brush gently against his soft skin. An enchantingly earthy and natural aroma beckoned him further into a maze of wooden soldiers; he brushed the palm of his hand against the rough bark of a nearby tree, relishing in the feeling of rugged wood beneath the pads of his fingertips while grass crunched almost silently beneath his feet. Despite the alluring delicacy of it all, Dipper only searched for an hour before deciding to return to the shambled shack; where were the monsters? The paranormal? The supernatural? The things worth adventuring? Last year, the exciting phenomenon had shown up so easily that the Pines twins didn't even have to search for it; but as soon as the boy decided to search for something dangerously thrilling, it seemed it had all disappeared.

"Hey bro-bro," Mabel greeted when he entered their shared bedroom. She lay on her bed, fiddling with Waddles' ear with one hand and the pig's curly tail with the other; Waddled squealed his approval at the gesture. "What have you been up to all day?"  
"Just out in the woods," he kicked off his shoes before jumping onto his own invitingly warm bed.  
"Oh, find any unicorns or dragons? We should totally go adventuring together tomorrow like we used to last summer!"  
"I didn't find anything today, but yeah we should!" he smiled at the thought of adventuring with his twin.  
"Yay! Mystery twins?" she asked.  
"Mystery twins," he confirmed.  
"Air high-five!" Mabel announced and they both made a high-five gesture from opposite sides of the room, Mabel saying 'bam' for added effect.  
"Want to play some mini-golf before bed?" Mabel inquired.  
"You know it," he smiled. The two jumped from their beds and played a long game of mini-golf, conversing about the town and their friends there as they played. Unsurprisingly, Mabel won.

* * *

 **This will probably be a story full of Bill and Dipper - and Mabel sometimes, too - adventuring and finding weird magical things, just to let you know xD  
But don't panic! (You're not panicking? Oh. Carry on then...) There is going to be an actual plot with this (which you already know 'cause it's in the summary...) And I don't know whether or not this is going to be a BillxDipper fic or not. As much as I like the ship, I'm a terrible romance writer. Maybe they'll just be friends? (Or maybe Bill is going to be a big butt-hole and use Dipper? You'll never know!)  
Help me decide? Be warned, if this does become a BillxDipper thing, the genre of this fic will have to become a horror just because my romantic-scene-writing skills are that horrifying and scary.  
Also, you have no idea how difficult I find it writing such descriptive paragraphs, I am SO bad at it! D: PreyForMe.**

 **Anyways, thank you for reading (unless you skipped this chapter? In which case, thank you for skipping my boring writing.)  
Leave a review, favourite and follow for your least favourite author? Meee! Oh and if you spot any mistakes, please tell me!  
**

 **And if anyone has any less-bad ideas for a title, please tell me! Titles are not my forte.**


	2. Bill Cipher

Dipper opened his eyes. He felt more awake than he ever was before despite having only just woken up from a dreamless slumber; his senses were sharper: Crystal clear vision; enhanced hearing; stronger sense of smell; not a trace of that horrible morning-taste; even the soft surface of the mattress beneath his fingertips felt smoother and somehow _realer_. He was surprised that he was clad in his day-clothes, including Wendy's hat and shoes; when had he changed? He spent a moment looking around the room – everything was dull and monochromatic, black and white; from the dull floorboards and white carpet to the once brightly-coloured posters on his sister's wall. But where _was_ his sister if she wasn't in her bed? Spending another few minutes looking around his bedroom, he was astonished by the suddenness of his enhanced senses: he clapped a few times just to hear the echo, climbed onto the unsteady table and peered through the window just to see the sharp surroundings; jumped from the table boldly just to feel the strong impact of his feet hitting the floor; and even licked his own hand just to experience the explosion on his taste buds.

"How's that tasting, kid?"  
The brunet paused mid-lick at the odd voice echoing through the air. Wiping the saliva on his shorts, Dipper pulled his tongue back into his mouth and glanced around the room in search for the dis-embodied voice, "what?" he asked warily. Was he dreaming?  
"Bingo! This is just a dream," the voice was now behind Dipper and he turned around quickly, catching sight of an oddly yellow and small triangle floating just eye-level of him. It had a black bow-tie, a tall top-hat and a black cane hanging over one spindly black arm; a single, large eye took up a portion of its face and the boy found himself wondering if it actually had a face.  
"What?" Dipper found him-self asking again, still confused.  
"Is that all you know how to say Pine Tree? Sheesh, I thought you were smart."  
"Pine Tree?" he muttered.  
"Pine Tree." The being confirmed.  
"Who…What are you? and why are you calling me _Pine Tree_?" the thirteen-year-old asked.  
"Name's Bill Cipher, and you're the kid with a pine tree cap," he placed his hands on what Dipper assumed were meant to be his hips and spun around the boy once before lifting his top-hat; however instead of the top-hat tilting, the rest of the world did. The boy stumbled back and then forth again as the world spun back to the way it was meant to be and landed on his behind.  
"Bill Cipher… the fancy floating triangle?" his eyebrows furrowed as he decided to ignore the nickname.  
"Nope, Bill Cipher the dream demon!"  
"Dream demon? That's impossible, if I knew I was dreaming then I would wake up. No one knows they're dreaming when they are."  
"Check again, Pine Tree. You know and you're still asleep! Besides, I may or may not be keeping you that way right now so we can have this conversation."  
"Why? What would a dream demon want from me?"  
"You're a smart kid, kid." Bill stretched his black arm and looped it around the boy's neck, pulling him closer. "So I want to make a deal!"  
"A deal?"  
"A deal! See, I saw you and your sister here last summer exploring the town, defeating monsters, yada-yada-yada…" he rolled his singular eye, "and I noticed you struggling to find anything fun to mess with today! So, I have a deal you can't refuse!" When Dipper didn't reply, he took it as a sign to continue. "How about I show you around the town? Not all the boring stuff though, just the monsters and other fun things. In return, you-" he stretched the arm looped around Dipper's neck so it was poking at his chest, too, "have to find me a body."  
"A body?"  
"Yeah, I need a physical form. Right now I'm stuck in the Mindscape and can't get into the Matterscape, I need a body to do so."  
"What's the…Mindscape and… Matterscape?" Dipper asked, unsure if he said the names correctly.  
"I'll explain it some other time; that is, if you make the deal."  
"So I find you a body and you'll show me all the mysteries in Gravity Falls?"  
"Bingo! What do y' say, Pine Tree, do we have a deal?"  
The boy thought for a moment before asking: "can you make sure I don't get hurt or die or whatever?"  
"Sure I can, I'll hang out in your head and if anything goes wrong, I'll take over and get you out safely."  
"What, like possession?" he frowned.  
"Yup, but only when you're in danger."  
Dipper thought about it for a moment before reaching out a hand; "Alright, deal."

Bill unwound his arm from around the teenager's neck and reached out to shake his hand. As he did, the palm was engulfed in a blue flame; Dipper flinched at the sight and tried to pull back, only for the dream demon to tighten its grip and prevent him from doing so. The fire surprisingly didn't scorch his flesh like he had suspected, on the contrary it was quite cool. "Great choice, Pine Tree!"  
"My name's Dipper, not Pine Tree."  
"Sure thing, Pine Tree."  
"I-"  
"Time to wake up! And remember; reality is an illusion, the universe is a hologram, buy gold! Bye!"

With the click of Bill's fingers, Dipper jolted up in his bed, noticing how dulled his sensed had become again. _Was it just a dream?_ Reaching up a hand to wipe at his eyes, he stopped when he noticed writing on the palm: ' _Hey, Pine Tree, It wasn't a dream!'_ and below it, on his wrist, was written: ' _Also, check your other hand!'_ the boy did so and had mixed-feelings at the sight of black ink outlining his palm and fingers, a beak and eyes drawn on the thumb. In the centre of his palm were the words: ' _Look, I drew a turkey!'  
_ "What the..?" Dipper muttered.

* * *

 **So, this was short. The turkey bit at the end was inspired by the deleted scene (go check it out on YouTube, it's hilarious!) And there were a few things I just had to get in there somewhere, like the hat thing and Bill's infamous "buy gold" line. I'm sorry.  
But do you like it? I wanted a separate chapter to introduce Bill, who I am shocked to say is a bit harder to write than I thought he'd be. Was he in character? Let me know if you think he wasn't and I'll try to improve it a bit.  
The next chapter, Dipper and Mabel will probably be adventuring and Bill is going to be there... can you guess what's going to happen?  
Also, I'm planning on just naming each chapter on the different monsters they find since that's what most of these chapters will be about. Please notify me of any mistakes that you spot.  
**

 **Thanks for reading, please review, favourite, follow, etc if you like it! :D  
Until next time ;)**


	3. The Mystery Club?

So I forced my dad to start watching GF (he loves it, yes!); he really dislikes Bill. At which I am SUPER offended - I'm one of those people who falls in love with the mean villain who had next to no like-able characteristics xD

* * *

"Mabel!" Dipper said ecstatically and jumped from his bed; he felt that he'd slept better that night that he had his entire life: perhaps a side effect of being visited by a dream demon?  
"What?" she mumbled groggily, still half-asleep.  
"The most amazing thing just happened! I was asleep and- "he was cut off by his twin:  
"I don't care, tell me later," she slurred.  
"But Mabel, it was a dream demon! He- I- he was a triangle shaped demon!"  
Mabel rolled over to face him and squinted through tired eyes at her brother, "Dipper, it was just a dream, tell me about it later." She closed her eyes in an attempt to go back to sleep when she was shaken awake; groaning, she opened her eyes and sat up, giving up on her wishes to sleep the day away.  
"Look, I have proof," he smiled as he showed her his hands; she read the message first and glanced at the turkey drawing.  
"A turkey? Good to know you're finally getting into drawing, bro-bro!" she hopped down from the bed and started getting some clothes for the day.  
"What? No, Mabel! I didn't draw it, the demon did- Bill; he said his name was Bill!"  
"Why would a dream demon visit _you_? I mean no offence, but you aren't exactly the funnest guy in the world." Mabel said, picking up a pink, sticker-decorated hairbrush and running it through her brown bed-hair.  
"Hey I am too the funnest guy in the world!" The boy argued before muttering his complaint on her lacking to use real English words; he sighed: "and I don't know why he wants _me_ either, but he said he wants me to get him a body."  
"A body; what's that supposed to mean?"  
"He said something about being in the Mindscape and he wants a physical form or something."  
"What's the mindscape?"  
"I don't know, he said he'd tell me later."  
Dipper was surprised when his sister hesitated for a moment before replying, seemingly having thought seriously about something for the first time in a long time: "I don't know, Dipper. I've seen enough scary movies by now to know that you shouldn't do anything for the devil."  
"He's a demon, it's completely different. Besides, they're just movies; they're probably entirely fake, I mean, what are the chances that any of the movie directors actually ever met a demon or even the devil?" the brunet tried to persuade her.  
"I guess so…"  
"Besides, he offered to show me around and help me find more monsters in Gravity Falls in return, so I'm getting something, too," he explained.  
The girl perked up at that; "oh so he can help us today, right?"  
"Yeah, totally; he said he'd make sure we didn't get hurt, too!"  
"Awesome! The mystery twins are back in action!" she exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air happily. "And now we have someone else to come with us," she gasped and her eyes shone bright with a colourful spectrum of imaginative ideas hiding behind the chocolatey orbs, "we should start a club! The mystery club! I bet Candy and Grenda would join, too!"  
"Woah, Mabel," dipper chuckled and put his hands up to signal her to calm down. "It's just Bill, not an entire club. He's only helping because of the deal, remember?"  
"I still say we make a club. I'd be the fabulous, cool leader who everyone loves while you could be the boring, mean leader who secretly has a soft spot for girly pop songs."  
"We're not making a club."

In Mabel's imagination, she stood upon a tall cliff that hung over an outrageous ocean; the waves violently crashed against the edge of the chalky-white cliff and ice cream-pugs with banana-wings could be seen flying in the rainbow coloured sky behind her. Her now-brushed hair fanned out elegantly in the breeze and-

Dipper shut the attic's window. He shivered from the cold grasp of the wind that tugged his hair back – revealing his birthmark - before interrupting his sister's fantasies: "so…" he drawled out, "you ready to go, or..?"  
"We need to see Wendy! She's back today and said she'd come visit as soon as possible!" Mabel said.  
"Oh yeah," he smiled, "race you to the bathroom!" he ran before his sister could process the challenge and grabbed his tooth brush as he entered the small room. Squeezing a small amount of paste onto his brush, he rinsed it under the water briefly before going to work on his teeth; Mabel ran in and did the same, opting to sit on the edge of the bathtub as she did. "So," she drawled around her toothbrush, "you think Wendy'll go on a date with you now?" Mabel took out her toothbrush and taunted playfully, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively before plopping the brush back into her open mouth.  
"Mabel!" the younger twin almost choked on his tooth brush at the sudden brutality of Mabel's straight forward question; "how many times do I need to tell you? I don't like her!"  
She pulled the item from her lips to point it at her brother accusingly; pasty-white saliva dripped from the end and onto the already dirty floor while she narrowed her eyes at him. "We both know that's a lie."  
"No it's not."  
She hummed in thought before continuing: "then we should get you a new girlfriend! Or… boyfriend? Do you like boys or girls? Or both?"  
"What? Stop asking me things like that, I don't even care!" he blushed slightly.  
She laughed, "what about Bill? You could make a deal with him to be your boyfriend," she joked and laughed again.

Dipper started choking on his own saliva as she suggested it, and his face reddened either from embarrassment or lack of oxygen – which one, Mabel didn't know – and he dropped his toothbrush into the sink before turning on the tap, cupping his hands and drinking from them to clear his throat. After a minute, his face returned – mostly - to its usual pale colour and he glared at his sister who was grinning at him. "No." He stated bluntly.  
"I was joking, bro-bro; lighten up!" she laughed.  
"Good, I don't want you spending this summer trying to get me and Bill to start dating," Dipper rinsed his toothbrush after Mabel did and they made their ways back to the attic to fetch clothes for the day. "That'd just be weird," he mumbled.  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

The twins ran to the shambled gift shop downstairs after having finished their morning routines; smiles were plastered to their faces from the excitement of finally being able to see their red-headed friend once more. However, the large smiles shrivelled up and died in disappointment when they saw the shop empty, no one behind the counter, no Wendy and shockingly no customers. "Where is she?" Mabel asked, clearly feeling dejected at the absence of the older girl.  
"I don't know, Stan said she was back today. Maybe she got delayed..?" Dipper reasoned. They turned to leave when Mabel let out a squeak next to him and then there was a sudden yet soft pressure that wet the back of his neck, causing him to also squeak. Reaching back to wipe at the damp area of his neck, he turned and saw a small, blue, plastic water-gun being aimed over the counter by someone hiding behind it. Mabel ran to the side of the counter to find the familiar smirk of an all the more familiar red-headed teenage girl.

"Wendy!" Mabel cried and tackled the girl with a vice-like hug, laughing alongside her friend.  
"Hey dorks," Wendy greeted, grinning to Dipper when he stood behind his sister with a smile splitting his face in two. She was clad in the same attire she'd worn the year before, but in place of her old hat was Dipper's old pine-tree cap, dirtied and worn; despite its tattered appearance, Dipper was glad to see it in that state, it meant that his older friend had worn it a lot over the year. "Good to see you're still rocking my hat," Wendy said, standing as Mabel finally released her.  
"Of course!" Dipper agreed enthusiastically.  
Wendy tugged the warm, woolly hat from the boy's head, leaving him feeling as though he was stark naked before his old cap was placed in its stead and the bill was pushed down over his visage playfully. Pushing it back up, he fixed his fringe under the cap and looked at Wendy who was now donned in the woollen headpiece he remembered her for.  
"You dudes ready to hang out?" She grinned and pointed to the ceiling; Dipper took it as a hint to signal that she meant the roof.  
"Yeah," Mabel cried, "Roof time! Roof time! Roof time!" she chanted, soon followed by Wendy; Dipper laughed before joining them happily and following them to the roof.  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

After a long few hours of chatting with Wendy, tossing pinecones with her, and generally catching up with her, the younger teens decided that it was finally time to head out into the woods in search for some mysterious monsters or charismatic creatures.  
"Alright, Bill said he'd help us out so…" Dipper said; they were standing at the edge of the thick throng of trees; the journal was safely tucked into the boy's vest and he glanced at their surroundings, trying to catch sight of the floating demon – how hard could it be to find such and obnoxiously brightly coloured triangle?  
"Not too hard, Pine Tree." Came the casual reply and Dipper jumped, head spinning back around so quickly his neck could have snapped. "Got to say, kid, I think you look a heck of a lot better with that hat than the one you had yesterday."  
"What- I told you my name is Dipper! Stop calling me Pine Tree!" Dipper argued, pointing accusingly at the demon, who laughed and just as Dipper was about to continue, he was cut off by his sister;  
"Who are you talking to?"  
The brunet stared at his sister for a moment, shocked at her question; could she not see Bill? He had mentioned about being stuck in the Mindscape, did that mean only one person could see him at a time?  
"What'd I say? Smart kid; this is why I picked you and not Shooting Star," Bill pointed his cane at Mabel, who was still looking at him, confused.  
"She can't see you?" Dipper asked, looking at him.  
"Well, she could if I wanted her to. But I don't."  
"What; why?"  
"Can you see he face? That expression is _priceless!"_ despite not having a mouth, it was clear that he was smiling from the squint of his single eye and he wiped non-existent tears from the large orb. Dipper then looked at his sister again. Her eyebrows were furrowed in concern as she looked at him intently, her typical smile flipped into a frown;  
"who are you talking to?" she asked.  
"Bill," he gestured to the space where said dream demon floated, "he doesn't want you to see him for some reason."  
"Aw! Is he shy?" Mabel gushed, pushing her hands into her cheeks as she imagined the scene, "that's so cute! Or should I say… acute?" she giggled at her own joke.  
"Cute?!" Bill repeated, clearly offended by Mabel's choice of words.  
"I think you offended him." Dipper said.  
"Is he blushing? I bet he's blushing. I bet he's adorable!" Mabel rocked her face in her hands as she spoke but then let out a yelp as a small stone landed on her head and she looked up to see where it had come from before looking back to Dipper and gasping at the sight. Floating next to him, spindly, black arms crossed and looking rather annoyed, was the floating, yellow triangle that her brother had spoken of. "Bill?" she asked looking at him.  
"That's right, Shooting Star, now be quiet or I won't help you."  
"Wait so Mabel can see you now?" Dipper interjected.  
"Yup," Bill confirmed, popping the 'p' at the end of the word, "now do you want me to show you around or not? It's already…" Bill pulled out a pocket watch as large as himself from literally nowhere, "one o'clock."  
"Right, right. Let's go." Dipper agreed.  
"Great!" the dream demon sounded happier at the agreement and reached out a hand to Dipper; when the boy hesitated and appeared clueless as to _why_ he was holding out his hand, he explained: "what, you want to walk for a few hours? I was going to teleport us but-"  
"Ok, ok – I don't want to walk all that way." Dipper said, taking the demon's hand. Bill outstretched his other palm to Mabel and both the demon and Dipper looked at her expectantly as she hesitated; Dipper could see as clear as day that the girl already didn't trust Bill, shocking him since she was so accepting toward everyone.  
"C'mon, kid, we don't have forever- well, you don't anyway." Bill coaxed. Giving one last glance to her brother warily, she finally took Bill's hand.

A shiver ran up Dipper's spine as the cobalt blue flame licked up at his flesh, yet didn't burn or scorch him and in fact helped him to relax and even feel slightly tired all of a sudden; his eyes slipped closed for a brief half-second before he snapped them back open and stumbled back, fighting off the sudden sleepiness. Looking around, the trio was surrounded by lush greenery, however Dipper could only see this from the bright light emitting from Bill's triangular form: they were so deep in the woods that the trees were tall and thick enough to block the sun's rays. The heavy sound of coughing broke the trance and he looks back to find his sibling doubled over in obvious pain; wheezing violently. "Mabel!" He closed the gap between them in one large, swift step and he patted her back comfortingly; "what's wrong?"  
"Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you that you meat bags react differently to being transported. Some of you end up perfectly fine or maybe even healthier than before; others end up coughing up their lungs or maybe having their arms and legs switching places. Funny really since it's so unpredictable!" Bill told him.  
"What?!" Dipper glanced at his sister frantically, preying she was ok. "Can't you help?" he looked back at Bill, deciding to push back the anger that flooded him for later and focus on helping his twin.  
"Sorry, Pine Tree, I'm a demon of the mind, I don't deal with all the physical stuff like…" he gestured to Mabel's curled up form. "But hey, at least if she dies, you can finally have your own bedroom!"  
"Bill!" Dipper shouted and was about to yell more when he felt a hand on his upper arm. Looking over, he saw Mabel bent over with a hand supporting her on her knees and the other rested on his shoulder; she was panting and her eyes brimmed with tears.  
"It's ok," she panted, "I'm fine."  
"You looked like you were in a lot of pain, Mabel; are you ok?" his tone softened and she swallowed before nodding.  
"Great!" Bill floated in front of the duo and clapped his hands together, "let's get going, then!" He turned and started floating away; dipper was just about to shout and yell at the immortal being when Mabel straightened slightly, shaking his shoulder gently. He looked at her and she shook her head, discouraging him from shouting at the demon.  
Ahead of them, Bill smirked to himself.

* * *

So is Bill up to anything? Is Mabel actually ok?  
Probably xD This isn't meant to be a dark fic and there 200% won't be any main character deaths, but that doesn't mean Bill is going to be completely nice and honest, does it? ;)  
I do plan on this being a BillDip fic, just to warn y'all. But obviously not yet.  
Next chapter will be them meeting their first monster/creature! Be prepared for terrible jokes!  
Anyways, leave kudos, comments, etc please? I'll love you tenfold if you do!

Also let me know if you want more side characters showing up (E.g. Grunkle Stan, Wendy, Soos, etc.) and if so, who? Or let me know if you want less side characters, maybe? I plan on getting them in occasionally.


	4. Acheri

**This probably should have been in the last chapter but oh well, here it is:  
(also this chapter hasn't been checked over, so please tell me if there are any mistakes and I'll correct them.)**

* * *

Straightening up, the twins started to follow Bill deeper into the maze of trees, tripping every so often from the lack of light and hindered vision; Dipper glanced at his sister occasionally to check that she was ok and she seemed to be holding up well, looking as though she hadn't been close to coughing her lungs out not long before. She was noticeably quieter than usual.  
"So, uh…" Dipper coughed to clear his throat, "what are you going to show us?" he coughed again, more heavily now and Mabel sneezed next to him. Bill ignored him and continued to float along the path. "Bill?" he asked again, a trace of annoyance slipping into his tone and nearly bumped into the dream demon when he stopped suddenly; Mabel bumped into his back, releasing a soft grunt.  
' _Alright, now be quiet, kid.'_ Bill's booming voice filled Dipper's head and he jumped at the sudden intrusion; the words left a tingling feeling numbing his brain and he felt the urge to scratch at it. The immortal visibly dimmed his yellow glow to a softer shade that wouldn't draw so much attention to them. They crouched behind a tall bush and Bill floated down next to him.  
"Why, what are-" Dipper whispered before being cut off by the voice in his head;  
' _Just think what you want to say, Pine Tree. I can read your mind.'  
_ Dipper decided to worry about that invasion of privacy later; ' _what are we looking for?'  
'The acheri; it's around here somewhere.'  
_A violent twist pulled at Dipper's stomach and his hands shot to the area; he grunted in pain as a sharp stabbing sensation in his abdomen made him curl up into a ball, whimpering quietly. Bile rose in his throat and he lifted his head slightly to release the contents onto the grass in front of him; a pair of warm, comforting hands were on his back and he suspected that Mabel was trying to comfort him. The warmth was wrenched away as he heard his own sister vomiting next to him; he'd have comforted her if it weren't for the lingering pain that paralysed him.  
' _Here, kid,'_ Bill thought to him. Dipper moved his head slightly to witness the demon's hand light in a blue flame for only a split second, and in him palm was now two red strips of ribbon; Dipper furrowed his sweat-drenched brows in confusion. ' _Tie this around your neck, it'll protect you.'_ He realised that the thirteen-year-old boy was still unable to move and opted to resort to controlling him himself. He tapped into Dipper's mind carefully so as not to cause too much more discomfort for the teen; once there was a small opening in his mental barrier, Bill squeezed through the tight gap and set to work.

The aching in Dipper's limbs dulled a small amount and he stayed still for a moment before his hands lifted up… But Dipper hadn't controlled them; his fingers twitched and wiggled for a moment and a grin lit up his face, but not of his own accord. His hands lifted one of the red ribbons and the fingers danced over the material briefly, seemingly relishing the sensation of the soft fabric against the pads of his digits. His hands brought up the strip of fabric and wrapped it around his neck; tight enough not to come loose or fall off but loose enough not to choke him or hinder his breathing – a knot was tied at the back of his neck and his hands fell away. Picking up the second strip of red ribbon, the appendage lifted it and his head moved to look at his sister who was curled in a tight ball, eyes locked shut tightly and hands shaking, gripping opposite arms over her stomach. Moving the red strip, his hands wound it quickly around the brunette's. His hands tugged the ribbon sharply, causing the girl on the floor to flinch but pay no other mind. Just as the knot was tied, Dipper felt himself regain control of his own body and he wiggled his fingers cautiously. He didn't fail to notice that the horrendous pain had ceased – he didn't feel the urge to throw up his viscera, wasn't coughing up the mucus in his airways, wasn't curling into himself from the murderous stabbing sensation in his abdomen; he felt a lot better.

' _Heh, sorry Pine Tree; had to use the meat-sack you call a body to do that else you'd be in a lot of pain. And as fun as that sounds, I can't go breaking my end of the deal.'_ Bill's voice filled Dipper's head again. Next to him, Mabel was slowly leaning up again, her own pain appearing to have disappeared as well.  
' _What did you do?'_ Dipper thought.  
' _The ribbon protects you, so don't take it off unless you want a slow, diseased, painful death.'  
_ The boy's mouth went dry at the reply and he asked; ' _protect us from what?'_  
The dream demon pointed a small finger above the bush that they were still crouched behind; Dipper looked over the top and was surprised at the revelation: a small girl.

The girl looked to be only ten years old, her ligaments were deathly thin and pale and looked to be bones covered in a thin layer of paper. Feet bare as she stepped slowly through the forest, she donned a thigh-length piece of clothing that was probably made from animal hide. Greasy, black locks of hair fell down to her shoulders and framed the hollow features of her face; which was sunken in to look like a skull. A headband wound around her head and held a grey feather that brushed against stray tree branches and leaves while she walked; the leaves darkened, shrivelled and fell to the floor at the contact from the feather. Dipper noticed, then, that the grass below her feet yellowed and became limp as she crushed each blade beneath her. Next to him, Mabel gasped quietly when she shifted to look at the girl, too. "Who is she?" Mabel asked and the twins looked to Bill expectantly.  
"It's an acheri." Bill said unhelpfully.  
"And what's that?" Dipper asked. In response, the dream demon lifted a spindly arm and tapped the side of the boy's head twice before looking at him; the male teen jolted as his vision blurred. He looked into Bill's single eye as a fountain of information blurred into Dipper's brain; he reached up to rub at his head when a dull ache settled in it. He looked up at the girl in the clearing, his vision clearing up quickly, she had now turned to look in their direction – her eyes were sunken into her face and were a deep black and Dipper gasped again when he found that he knew _everything_ about this girl – this spirit.  
He frantically pulled out his journal from his vest and opened it to a clear double-page spread. Scrambling for a pencil in his shorts pocket; he found one and began scrawling messily in the book: he sketched a small drawing of the girl on the left page, writing 'acheri' in large letters above. On the right page, he scribbled down the newly given information from his brain.  
"Dipper," Mabel whispered, "what are you writing?" he gave no reply, focused intently on writing before the information left his brain and was forgotten. She looked over his shoulder, reading what he wrote aloud with a frown; "spirit of a young girl who comes from the woods once a year to bring sickness to people, mostly children. Also called 'the hill fairy'. The only defence from the acheri is to tie a red ribbon around your neck; this protects you from the disease she brings." Mabel reached up and traced her fingers along the ribbon around her neck. "Can bring death to the elderly or already sick." Mabel frowned at the information. "How do you know all this?" she asked less quietly; he gave no reply but did glance at her, a small smile adorned his face and his eyes were alight with a new discovery.

Rustling could be heard not far from in front of them and Dipper finally stopped writing to glance over the bush; the acheri had started walking slowly toward them. A slight panic began to settle in his mind; if that thing was chasing them, how was he supposed to write about it? What if he forgot it all before they could make it back to safety? He leaned down again, writing faster than before.

"Time to go, Pine Tree," Bill said.  
"Wait, just let me finish this," Dipper argued. Mabel glanced over the bush, too and saw the spirit getting closer: it definitely knew that they were there, now.  
"Dipper, we need to go," Mabel urged him.  
"Wait, wait," Dipper defied them both.  
"Pine Tree," the dream demon warned again, "I can't let you get hurt; go now or I'll have to get you out of here myself."  
"I'm nearly done," Dipper stated before his senses numbed again and the pencil fell limply from his hand. He urged his body to pick it up but it didn't listen; on the contrary it closed the journal, tucked it into his vest, then stood quickly and glanced at the acheri which was now walking toward them at a steady pace. The bushes and trees shied away and seemed to shrivel from her presence and a scowl was etched in her face as she had probably noticed that the twins weren't affected by her presence themselves. Bill turned Dipper's body sharply and started walking quickly back into the line of trees they'd come from.  
"Dipper," Mabel called from behind him, clearly offended at being left behind.  
"Be quick, Shooting Star," Bill said through Dipper's voice, "I'm not responsible for what happens to you~" he sang joyfully, not bothering to look back at her.  
Dipper wanted to scream at Bill for being so ignorant but was helpless- the demon had full control of his body.  
"Might not want to stick around there too long, kid, you might have that ribbon but it won't protect you from her physical attacks!" Bill called back happily before starting into a jog; Mabel soon caught up and was jogging alongside him. Glancing back, Bill noticed that the acheri was now sprinting after them at full speed, quickly gaining on them. He laughed and ran faster, Mabel followed suit.  
"Dipper! What's wrong with you?!" Mabel panted and glared at him.  
Bill laughed again at her before he felt Dipper's body get shoved and knocked over from behind; he spun over onto his back and looked up at the acheri that had tackled him to the floor. She climbed over him and lifted a hand to claw at Dipper's face. Bill smirked and caught the hand that flew down at his vessel; he lifted dipper's other hand to go around the girl's throat, which she hissed at ferociously. The putrid stench of decay invaded his nostrils when she opened her mouth and Bill's smirk widened as he put more pressure on her neck, lifting her up off of him only slightly; her arms flailed as she tried to claw at him, he lifted his other hand to wrap around her neck and lifted her up further. She scratched at his arm and small droplets of blood leaked out from the cut, down his arm, to his shoulder and staining a small patch on the corner of his sleeve. Once she was lifted high enough, Bill applied more pressure and shifted his feet before kicking at her stomach violently; she was pushed off of him and he rolled on top of her instead; using Dipper's weight to hold her down.

Dipper himself felt a captive in his own body; forced to watch as Bill clawed at the acheri below him. ' _Bill!'_ he screamed out in his mind, ' _Stop!'_ The demon paused briefly at Dipper's command, seemingly having forgotten about his presence.

Just as Bill was about to ignore the human's pleas in favour of digging his real, physical hands into the being below him, a hand was gripping his arm and pulling him along. He followed the teenage girl who was dragging him away, the smile was purged from his – Dipper's - face by the blood lust that roared and demanded to be let out. He chose to ignore his own want for once and instead ran faster; Bill and Mabel ran all the way back to the Mystery Shack, glancing back every so often to be sure that they weren't being followed. Once they had exited the thick crowd of trees, they stopped running, both panting from exhaustion, albeit Mabel more than the immortal demon. Bill took note of the scratches and cuts that Dipper's body had obtained while in the woods; he thread a sliver of his magic through the boy's veins and let each wound heal fully. Once done, he reluctantly gave control of the vessel back to the teen, who sighed gratefully at his regained senses. The demon appeared in front of the twins; "well, see y' tomorrow, Pine Tree!" Bill said happily, tipping his hat to the boy, "Shooting star," he then added less happily. He disappeared in a flash of gold without another word.

A sudden pain shot through Dipper's arm as his sister punched him; he flinched and rubbed at his arm and complained: "ow, what was that for?"  
"I should be asking you that! What was going on back there?" Mabel asked, concern and a hint of anger spreading across her features.  
"What?"  
"You and that _ackri_ or whatever it was! You were acting all crazy!"  
Dipper paled slightly; "that was Bill, not me," he defended.  
"What?" This time it was Mabel who asked.  
"It was part of the deal, he'd control me if it got dangerous and get me out of there safely," he explained. "He did, too. See?" he lifted his arms and turned around slowly to show not a scratch on his body.  
"Dipper… I don't like this." Mabel said.  
"Mabel there's nothing wrong. Since when do you care anyway? You've done plenty of things just like this; remember Mermando and the gnomes?"  
"But they weren't demons, Dipper!" Mabel argued. "Bill's really… _weird._ I don't like him."  
"Alright fine, I see your point, but… he hasn't done anything yet, right? He's helped and we both made it out without a scratch on us." Dipper failed to notice Mabel rubbing at her arm over her sweater. "Tell you what," he said, "if he does anything bad that isn't part of the deal, I'll call it off, alright?" he proposed.  
Mabel hesitated for a few moments before nodding her agreement; "ok" she said.

Dipper checked his watch; "it's only two thirty. I'm going to finish writing about the acheri, after that do you want to go to the arcade?"  
"Sure," Mabel agreed, beaming.  
"Bet you can't beat me at a game of Fight Fighters," Dipper challenged.  
"Bet you I can!" Mabel accepted the challenge. 

* * *

If you're interested in reading about the acheri (a real myth) then: wiki/Acheri  
Don't worry it's only short.

Don't forget to fave, follow, etc if you liked this chapter ;D


	5. Xiuhcoatl

**Some cute stuff is in here too, just to progress Bill and Dipper's relationship ;)**

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"Hey, Pine Tree!"

His eyes snapped open abruptly only to discover he was eye-to-eye with a yellow, floating triangle that was far too close for comfort – the immortal's single orb blocked his vision. Accompanying the being was an odd scent that Dipper had never smelled before; it wasn't an unpleasant smell per say, but the boy knew he'd never be able to connect that single smell to any other memory or object; only Bill. Perhaps he'd only just noticed it then because of the close proximity between himself and the being.

"Bill," he groaned and squinted his eyes at the demon's blinding brightness and trying to scoot away from him; "ever heard of personal space? And sleep?" Dipper asked sarcastically. Through the attic's triangular window, the moon hung high in the sky, proving that it was the middle of the night with its ghostly glow and when the boy glanced at his alarm clock he made a noise of frustration at having been woken up at four o'clock in the morning. "What do you want?" he snapped tiredly.  
"What, I'm not allowed to visit my two-thousand, eight hundredth and ninety-sixth favourite meat-sack?" When the boy didn't reply, Bill carried on; "I'm kidding, you really think I have a favourite human? Nah, you're just the one I happen to dislike the least. Maybe even like… anyway- down to business!"  
"And this business can't wait until I'm fully awake?" the boy asked tiredly, sarcasm lining each syllable.  
"Only if you're okay with exploring a burnt down forest, Pine Tree."  
He woke up fully at that; "what?"  
Bill pulled out the giant pocket watch from nowhere once again and glanced at it before humming and stashing it away again; "yup," he drawled out slowly, "about an hour from now, there'll be a fire in the wood. Just so happens it's going to be caused by the xiuhcoatl. So you," he lifted the boy's pine-cap from its place on the table with the end of his cane and held it up to examine it for a moment, "get to kill two birds with one stone," Bill slid the cap onto Dipper's head before tapping it down with the end of his cane so it sat firmly on there.  
"What do you mean two birds with one stone?" Dipper frowned, adjusting the hat slightly.  
"You get to save the forest and have something new to write about for the day! Now hurry up, I didn't wake you up this early for nothing. I know how long it takes for you sacks of fat to get up and get moving in the morning, especially this early." Bill leaned back in the air calmly as he waited, legs crossed, arms behind the top of his face – his head? – And cane probably pocketed in another dimension or just hidden with magic.

Dipper quickly hopped out of bed and went to fetch a bundle of clothes from the floor of the attic; Bill telling an irrelevant story that he only half-listened to while collecting his things; "so yeah, this guy was so old he didn't really have much to offer. I mean, come on…" Dipper hurriedly got changed, making sure to change behind the demon and facing away from him just in case. Mabel was still fast asleep in her bed, and Dipper decided to simply allow her the rest. "So in the end I just tore out his intestines and tied him his own personalised noose with it!" Bill was saying enthusiastically. Dipper was hopping around while trying to pull a pair of socks onto his feet, panicking when he nearly bumped into his sister's bed; Waddles was curled up in Mabel's grasp and when Dipper stood back slightly, the pig opened its eyes and snorted quietly; Dipper hushed the animal quietly. "Long story short, never brush your teeth with fish-scented candles." Bill finished and glanced at the boy; "you ready yet, Pine Tree?"

Dipper nodded as he tucked the journal into his vest and a new pencil in his pocket.  
"Great!" Bill lit his hand and Dipper took it without hesitation. The attic melted away in a blue, cool flame around him.

Dipper's feet touched the grass and an instant wave of tired dizziness flooded his senses briefly; he stumbled to lean on a nearby tree but when there wasn't one he fell onto his hands and knees.

"Don't worry, Pine Tree, you'll get used to it the more we do it," Bill said as if knowing the feeling Dipper was undergoing. The boy stumbled up, forcing away the sleepiness easily;  
"What did you say we're here for?" he asked.  
"The xiuhcoatl," Bill replied and his large eye transitioned into a ticking clock, "we still have twenty minutes before it shows up," his eye transformed back into its golden pupil which stared at the teen intently.  
"The… what? How do I even pronounce it?" Dipper asked.  
"Sigh," Bill informed.  
Dipper repeated.  
"Oh."  
He repeated it again.  
"Coh."  
And again.  
"Artle."  
And once more.  
"Sigh-oh-coh-artle" Bill said it all at once, slowly and the boy repeated it at the same pace before saying it again two more times, faster and more fluent each time. "There y' go, Pine Tree," Bill praised.  
"So what is the xiuhcoatl?" Dipper asked and the word slipped from his tongue with ease, now; he was half expecting the demon to simply put the information in his head again like he had the day before.  
"Now where's the fun in that? I'm not just going to put the information in your head, am I?" Bill said gleefully.  
Dipper frowned. "But you did it yesterday," he pointed to his head.  
Bill hummed in what the boy thought might be consideration before downright declining the attempt at persuasion brutally; "Nope."  
He frowned again before deciding to drop the subject; the demon could carry on literally forever if need be, so it was a waste of time to carry on pestering the being.  
"Yup! Told you you're smart, didn't I?"  
"Hey, that's another thing, stop reading my mind. That's, like, the biggest personal space boundary that you're crossing and I want to at least keep my thoughts private!"  
"Kid, please. I read everyone's mind, what makes you think you're special?" Bill dismissed.  
"I still don't like it," he pouted.

A brief second of silence passed and when the immortal said nothing, Dipper said something else; "You know that if I get hurt, or Mabel does when she's with us, I'm breaking the deal."  
Bill glared at him sharply, shocking the boy with the serious and dangerous look in his eye. "You can't," he said simply. The statement was short but was said so sharply that it was like a knife that could cut clean through any solid object.  
"I-I will if Mabel or- "  
"Shooting Star wasn't part of the deal, Pine Tree. I protect you, but not her."  
Dipper fumed as he said that, "That's not fair, we agreed- "  
"We agreed that you get me a physical body and in exchange I'll protect you and only you, when I show you all the mysteries in this town." Bill's typically golden eye had a red tinge to it. He was annoyed.  
Dipper faltered. He had agreed to that; he couldn't go back on his word.

The duo stood in silence for three more minutes, staring at each other for no real reason, when Bill seemed to perk up and state that there was only fifteen minutes before the xiuhcoatl would appear.

"Why…" Dipper began and Bill looked into his eyes again with a piercing gaze, causing him to flush – why did he flush? – Before carrying on; "why did you pick me for this deal?"  
The being's eye squinted to portray a smile. "Because we both have something we want. It's in both our interests to get these things, so why not you?"  
Dipper shrugged, "I don't know. No doubt there were other people who had something that they wanted. Why me out of all of those other people?"  
The other was quiet for a moment, having to think about his next words for the first time in not even Bill knew how long. "Because," he said, "I like you, Pine Tree. More than the other puppets you call people."  
Dipper might have laughed if the demon wasn't staring at him like that, all signs of mirth gone, floating idly next to the boy; "I'm guessing you don't like many people, then," he finally said.  
Bill laughed, "Nope! And they don't like me so I have nothing to worry about."  
Dipper smiled despite the statement and thought back to his own sister's words only the day before; "yeah, even Mabel said she doesn't…" he realise what he had mumbled and flushed as he tried to cover it up quickly, "I mean… it's not that she doesn't like you, it's just-"  
"Relax, kid. You think I care that Shooting Star doesn't trust or like me? I don't, and really- the feeling's mutual."

Dipper paused. "When the xiuhcoatl shows up, how am I meant to deal with it?" he changed the subject and took out his journal. Bill waited for him to fiddle in his shorts for the pencil and flip to a clean page to write down the information.  
"Well, I'll let you draw it when you see it but… it's basically a giant snake or a worm that controls fire. Don't ask me how that works; I don't really care enough to tell you. Things'll start getting pretty hot when it shows up though, so prepare for your hottest summer tenfold! Anyway, it's been hiding out or sleeping under the earth for a couple million years and when it digs its way back up here, pretty much everything it touches will set alight. So yeah, don't touch it."  
Dipper wrote down the information eagerly and asked; "if it sets things on fire, there's going to be smoke. Couldn't I choke from lack of oxygen or whatever?" he frowned as he continued writing.  
"Nah, don't worry about that. A bunch of magic-y stuff happens – don't ask what, you wouldn't understand – and the smoke is harmless." Bill said.  
"How do I kill it? Err- defeat it? Stop it?"  
"A lot of water would work for sure, but you'd need to drop that thing in the deep end of the Pacific Ocean or something for that to work." Bill hummed in thought. "You could try cutting it off from air, without any oxygen to burn, it'll die quickly."  
"How can I cut off the oxygen? Is that even possible?" Dipper noticed the surroundings beginning to heat up and a thin layer of sweat was layered over his skin; he fanned himself with the journal for a moment as he waited for his companion to speak.  
"Tell you what," Bill clicked his fingers, "lead it to a clearing off that way," he pointed behind himself, "and then, when there's nothing for it to destroy I'll take control of your body and do a little thingy-ma-jig to stop the oxygen in the area."  
"You can do that?"  
"Sure I can! I can do lots of things."  
"But you can only take control of me when I'm in danger." Dipper countered.  
"Don't be so awkward, Pine Tree, sheesh. Technically, you will be in danger with that behemoth of a thing chasing you, so the deal won't be broken."  
Dipper thought for a moment before accepting Bill's plan. It had better work.  
"Trust me, it will."  
"I thought I told you to stop reading my mind!"  
"I'm in your mind, that's like telling me to not to hear music that's pounding out of a speaker right next to my ear. It's practically impossible." Bill said. Dipper was about to argue with the being when the ground began to shake and he unsteadily wobbled around for a moment; Bill wasn't joking when he said it would get insanely hot. He wanted to strip down right then and there and might have done so were it more appropriate to the situation.

Suddenly, a pot-hole appeared in the ground and small stones by his feet shook from the strong rumbling originating from the pit. From the tunnel emerged an enormous, thick body. It sped past so fast that the patterns on its scales were a blur and the teen had to jump back quickly multiple times as it slithered out near him. Once the full monster had emerged from the void, it sat still for a minute and Dipper got a good look at its hideous form.

Its head was huge, very in-proportionate compared to the rest of its body; the head looked like a snake's as Bill had stated however a large, sharp blade extended from where its nose should have been. Body covered in sharp scales, it was a hue of bright blues, oranges, yellows and reds that obviously represented the fire it used. Its body extended for a good thirty meters and attached to the tail was what appeared to be an oddly large lump of coal. Dipper was contemplating the purpose of its strange tail when suddenly the monster shook the appendage; the heap of coal on the end lit immediately with an orange, scorching flame that lit up the dark night easily. The teen's blood ran cold when it opened its large eye and it was staring directly at him, it opened its mouth, showing off its sharp fangs that had strings of thick saliva connecting each tooth. Its body lit up in a ferocious flame when it focused on him.

"Better run, Pine Tree!" Bill said cheerily before disappearing. He was likely taking refuge in the boy's head until he reached the clearing so they could enact their plan.

Dipper turned on his heel without another thought, pushing off on his feet immediately and heading back through the wood in the direction the demon had pointed him in previously. Behind him, a heart-stopping roar was released into the air followed by the sound of crunching trees; the boy didn't dare to look back as his heart pounded in his ribcage in rhythm with his feet pounding against the forest floor. The stench of torched trees reached his nostrils, and he urged himself to sprint faster, still. Bill's exhilarated laugh filled Dipper's head; 'Don't laugh about this!' Dipper screeched out in his head, desperate to save air.  
'Don't worry kid, at this rate it'll only take you five or ten minutes to get to that clearing.' The demon informed him in his mind.  
'That's still too long!' the boy whined. He risked a look back at the serpent chasing them and was relieved that it wasn't gaining on them very quickly; he noticed that the xiuhcoatl's fiery tail was setting a path of fire behind them and he panicked at the thought of the forest burning down just from the trail. Dipper's body swerved left without his consent and he snapped his head around when he realised Bill had been the one to move his body, probably to keep him from running straight into a tree or tripping over.  
'Watch where you're going kid so I don't have to.' Bill ordered.  
'Any way I can put a bit more distance between us and that?' Dipper asked.  
'Just keep going straight, as a type of serpent; it's better at moving in curved directions. So don't bother trying to shake it off with any sharp turns, if anything it'll get you closer to it.'  
Dipper nodded at the information and continued in a straight line, occasionally dodging a tree in his path or jumping over a loose root on the floor. Bill swerved the brunet's body to the side again as a large, flaming tree fell from behind him; it had been cut down by the blade of the monster chasing them and would have crushed him were it not for Bill, he thanked him silently. 'Don't mention it, Pine Tree. The clearing is just ahead; you can see it from here.'

Dipper could see it; he'd never been so thankful to leave the thick throng of trees. He burst out into the massive space and ran to the opposite side of it so he was standing on the edge of the tree-line again. The xiuhcoatl emerged from where he'd come from and continued heading toward him and Dipper panicked as it got closer. 'Bill?!' he cried in his head frantically, still too out of breath to speak. Bill swept the boy's arm in a wide arc and a tall line of cobalt flames erupted in the serpent's path, causing it to slide swiftly to a stop, roaring ferociously. Dipper's brows furrowed; surely a being of fire wouldn't be so scared of fire? Or perhaps it was because it was a demon's fire.

"Pine Tree, you're going to feel a bit dizzy in a moment, but don't worry nothing is happening to you." Bill spoke through him seriously, aloud this time. Dipper nodded. He trusted the demon – after all, how many times had he saved Dipper's life in only the past two days?

Bill chanted a few words that Dipper could have no hope of understanding and the snake-like monster before them started screeching but made no move to attack them or escape back the way it came. The brunet wanted to cover his ears at the horrifying sounds that filled the air from the xiuhcoatl, but he forced himself to let Bill finish the ritual. Bill took steps back in the boy's body, closer to the woods when the serpent began writhing, screeching louder, and a red-hot larva oozed from its body and it was then the boy realised why they in the clearing. The duo sharing the teen's body were sweating profusely from the heat and just as the demon had warned, dizziness started overtaking him; his breaths became shallower, his eyes starting to droop shut. The last thing Dipper saw before he blacked out was the xiuhcoatl's body turning into an ashen grey. The dust blew away in the wind.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

His hearing was the first thing to return. The calming sound of a blowing wind, the soothing nature around him, the welcoming tweeting of birds that beckoned him to the waking world, the-  
"Pine Tree~"  
The demon he'd made a deal with.  
"Time to get up, kid: I know you're awake so don't bother pretending."  
Dipper groaned, "Can I pretend for a while longer?" He was leaning against a tree in a deeper part of the forest and Dipper assumed Bill had possessed him to bring him there.  
"Nope," Bill popped the 'p' in the word; "you did well, Pine Tree. I'm surprised you managed to force yourself through that," he praised. Dipper groaned again, rubbing at pounding head. "Yeah, sorry about that; your body isn't used to having so much magical power coursing though it so you're going to be sore both mentally and physically."  
"You can't fix it at least mentally?" Dipper pleaded. Bill hummed in thought.  
"Alright," he finally agreed before disappearing in a flash of gold that burnt Dipper's retinas only briefly, leaving purple and blue splodges in his vision. The boy felt the urge to close his eyes again, and did so as Bill tampered with his brain. He appeared in a flash again in front of him; "there y' go. Feeling' better, now?"  
Dipper nodded, "still tired," he stated blankly, "why did I…" he yawned, "pass out?" He gasped, "and what about the fire it made with its tail?" He sat up a bit too quick and his muscles ached from the movement.  
"Lack of oxygen, spell affected you, too. And don't worry, the fire went out as soon as that thing died."  
The teen nodded and then pulled out his journal from his vest and opened it to the page he'd filled in that early morning – the sun was now starting to peak over the horizon. "Look," he smiled, "I wrote down loads about that acheri yesterday. Thanks for that," he showed Bill the page.

Bill only gave a mouthless smile.

The brunet turned to the next page again and started sketching the xiuhcoatl. Next to him, Bill snorted, "kid, that's a terrible drawing," he insulted.  
"I'd like to see you do better," Dipper said, not looking up from the journal.  
"Alright then, let the master show you how it's done," the entity cracked his knuckles.  
"What would you know about art?" Dipper snorted this time.  
"I told you earlier, Pine Tree, I know lots of things."  
"No, you said you can do lots of things."  
"Same thing; now, may I?" The demon tapped on the boy's head lightly and it dawned on Dipper that he was asking for permission to control him. "You can't expect me to draw without a body? I might be able to do a lot of things, but even I have my limits."  
Dipper smirked, "did you just admit to not being able to do everything? I'm shocked."  
"I'm a being or pure energy, so don't act so smug. I can still do more than you."  
They laughed together before the boy granted his permission to use his body, just this once, to try and draw. Dipper was shocked at the life-like drawing that the demon produced, it looked like a photograph. "No way," Dipper frowned.  
Bill laughed, "told y' Pine Tree, don't doubt me next time."  
Dipper laughed too, and found the sleepiness becoming too much to fight off.

He drifted into a blissful sleep.

* * *

 **Xiuhcoatle on wikipedia: wiki/Xiuhcoatl**  
 **Thanks for reading, please leave kudos, comments, etc if you liked this chapter! ;D**

 **Also, just a rant about the awesome (yet weird and a bit sad and morbid..) dream I had last night about GF. I was Dipper - YAY! - (weird since I'm a girl, though.) And Mabel had been murdered. So Grunkle Stan and I/Dipper were exploring and looking for clues on who the murderer was, and yes we were crying in it. Anyway I/Dipper kept saying that we would find Mabel's corpse in this weird and conveniently abandoned warehouse but Stan wouldn't believe me so we kept searching everwhere else. After a while though, we went to the warehouse and found Mabel's body hanging on a noose. It fell off the noose (yes you need all of these details) and then some guy walked out. Turns out it was a caveman... probably because I have also been playing Far cry Primal which is about cavemen. Anyways Stan and I/Dipper somehow just knew he was the killer and I/Dipper got a hatchet (from where I have no idea) and burried it in the side of his face. Then Stan got his own hatchet (again from where?) And put it in the caveman's forehead, killing him. Then I woke up. And I can't help but wish it was me/Dipper who delivered the final blow.**  
 **This is where I get some of this blood and gore from, I just don't put it all into my fics cause I wanna keep the children's rating xD**  
 **Like this other time I dreamed that I killed a monkey by tearing it's heart out then I ate its eyes for some weird reason and then threw the corpse out of the window so noone would know. Fun dreams.**

 **Just wanted to write all that down before I forgot it...**  
 **Sweet dreams tonight x**


	6. Onibi

**I swear these chapters get longer every time.**

* * *

"So… where are we going?" Dipper asked as he left the house, Bill floating next to him. The teen had spent the rest of the previous day with his sister after having killed the xiuhcoatl; he had watched TV, played mini-golf, played pranks on Soos with Wendy. Today, however, he was back to his mystery hunting with his demonic companion and when the brunet asked Mabel if she wanted to join them, she looked happy to comply before her answer was cut off by said demon, saying something along the lines of it being pretty dangerous for 'Pine Tree' let alone her.

She had followed them out anyway.

"We're going to go find an onibi. They appear at the time of time you meat-bags like to call _summer,"_ Bill explained, his single golden eye rolled into the back of his head, the other side that rolled out had an image of a shining sun on it. He pointed over his edge toward the forest as the eye rolled back to normal so he could peer down at Dipper; "ironically, it nearly always only shows up when it rains, and we've got a heavy storm forecast today, Pine Tree." Dipper glanced up at the sky and noticed that there were blackened clouds in the distance – it would probably take an hour for the storm to reach them with such weak wind.  
"So what's an onibi?" Mabel asked; Bill didn't answer and she pouted at his ignorance.  
"Yeah, what is it?" Dipper repeated for her, not failing to notice how the demon had ignored his sister.  
"You'll see!" Bill said happily, "but I'll warn you now, don't touch it or we're going to have a problem," he glanced at the girl of the twins as he said the last word, but neither human noticed. "Now, let's go," he reached an already alight palm out to each twin.  
Dipper glanced at his sister's nervous expression and he knew she was remembering what had happened when they'd teleported the first time. "Let's walk," he said, instead and noticed Mabel's worried features soften.  
Bill put his hands on his hips, "you sure, kid? It'll take a couple hours."  
Dipper nodded, "yeah. Don't want a repeat of what happened with the acheri."  
"Oh, right," Mabel noticed when the demon glared at her briefly, a shiver ran down her spine at the cold expression. "I'll just ride along in your head then, kid," Bill said before disappearing; a soft pressure appeared in the back of the boy's head which he assumed was the demon. It wasn't uncomfortable but it would definitely take some getting used to.  
"Wait you never told me where to go," Dipper said.  
 _'I'll direct you as we go, now get moving before it rains,'_ the immortal's voice boomed in his head and he winced at the loud volume.  
"Alright…" Dipper agreed before walking into the thick crowd of trees, his sister in tow.

After an extremely long journey filled with bad jokes from his sister and terrible directions from the demon in his mind – directions which mostly consisted of instructions like ' _go left here, no your other left. No your other, other left; kid do you know your lefts from rights?'_ \- he was told to stop.  
Mabel was about to stick another puffy sticker to her face when she bumped into him; "are we finally here?" she asked.  
"Yup, just around the corner here," Dipper repeated what Bill told him.  
"Thank God, my feet hurt like heck!" Mabel complained and sat on a large rock nearby, taking off her shoes and massaging her wet feet – it had begun to rain halfway through their trip and whilst Dipper managed to stay mostly dry, his sister's purple sweater had absorbed nearly every drop of rain that fell. Her hair was drenched, sticking to her face and her shoes squelched with each step she took, much to the annoyance of her brother.  
' _I'm going to stay in your head for a while longer just to make sure you don't do anything stupid.'_ Bill explained in the boy's head.  
Dipper snorted; ' _like what? It's not like I'm stupid enough to jump into a giant monster's mouth or anything like that'_ he thought back sarcastically.  
' _I don't even think it has a mouth'_ Bill chuckled back.  
"Alright, I'm ready to go hunt me some monster-io butt," Mabel interjected happily, standing in her soaked shoes with a hand on one hip and the other pointed toward the sky dramatically.  
"Monster-io?" the boy questioned, raising and eyebrow. Mabel ran the way he had directed her previously without answering. "Mabel!" he called out after her and a bang of thunder rang through the air.  
' _I'd go get her, kid, she'll probably do exactly what I told her not to.'_ Bill thought.  
Dipper ran after her, calling her name and was surprised when he rounded the corner to see her standing in a small creek. It was magnificent; the rain only just pushed through the thick canopy of leaves and each branch glistened from the delicate rain drops that adorned the bark and a small river ran through the area gently. A group of trees created an enclosure around the small area, it would only fit about ten people. Mabel was staring at a flame that was floating in the middle of the creek, roughly a meter from the ground and bobbing up and down slightly, it was a light blue and flecks of white jumped up into the air every so often.

Another bang of thunder.

The girl's face was only a few inches from the flame as she stared in fascination and as she reached a hand up to touch it, only a few centimetres away, Bill abruptly spoke through Dipper's body: "Don't touch it, Shooting Star." The sudden interruption from the demon made her flinch, her hand closing the gap between the flame and herself.

As her fingertips pressed into the flame, she gasped loudly and her body convulsed violently, collapsing limply onto the floor. Dipper called her name and tried to run forward but was held in place by Bill controlling his limbs; he shouted at the demon angrily both aloud and in his mind, desperate to help his sister.  
"Pine Tree," Bill used Dipper's mouth and sounded surprisingly calmer than usual, when the boy didn't listen and continued to shout and struggle, he tried again: "Pine Tree." Dipper still refused to calm down so the immortal wove a thread of magic around the boy's mind, forcing him to calm down and listen; "just wait Pine Tree," he finally managed to say without interruption. "You don't want to touch that thing _or_ your sister just yet; it's still dangerous."  
"I don't care, I need to help her," Dipper refused as another clap of thunder went off, he stepped forward before being stopped again by the other. Mabel's body was still shaking, albeit less so and Dipper fought to get closer to her, to comfort her. "I know you don't like her, but- "  
"That's not what this is about, kid. I'm just keeping up my end of the deal by keeping you safe." Bill interrupted.  
"Well stop, I don't care about that right now I just- " Dipper was interrupted by the familiar voice of his sister:  
"Finally!"  
Dipper looked at his sister. She was standing straight now, stretching her arms, but her back was turned to them. "Mabel, are you alright?" he asked desperately, trying to run to her but was still held in place by the demon in his mind. "Bill stop," he complained, fighting vigorously against the demon's control but was nowhere near strong enough to slip away.

Mabel turned to face the duo happily, a grin splitting her face in two. Her eyes shone brighter than before, tinged with a light blue as she made eye contact with Dipper. "It's about time some idiot came by," she said and held her hands up to look at them; "A bit young for me but it'll do." More thunder.  
"What are you talking about?" Dipper asked, concerned.  
"My name," Mabel said, "is Onibi."  
Bill snorted through Dipper, "You call yourself after your species? That's like me being named demon or Pine Tree here calling himself meat-sack."  
Onibi – in Mabel's body - stared at Dipper; _into_ Dipper.  
"So… that fire was the onibi?" Dipper asked, unsure if he should retreat or not: it was still his sister's body, after all.  
Bill confirmed his question before explaining the abilities of the creature; "long story short, they're seen as a flame to human eyes but if you touch it physically it will possess you."  
"So what happened to Mabel?" Dipper asked, stepping back, "is she still… in there?"  
"Oh no, her soul was kicked out," Onibi answered instead, grinning.  
' _So is it like a ghost? What happened to Mabel?' Dipper thought instead of spoke.  
'Only in the way of possessing people. And trust me, Shooting Star is fine. The onibi aren't the only ones that can see souls, your sister's floating around trying to get your attention right now.'_ Bill thought back. Another clap of thunder, but further away.  
"Two souls in one body? This is new." Onibi spoke and Dipper looked at her. "You've got a pretty dull soul hanging in there, boy. I'm surprised the demon's bottomless pit he calls a soul hasn't just gobbled yours up from being so close," she sounded smug.  
The demon seemed to sigh in Dipper's head; ' _Boy are you meat-bags stupid. Shooting Star did exactly what I told her not to for no reason, it's a wonder how you're all still on top of the food chain.'_  
"Well, have fun you two," Onibi said, "I'm going to test out my new body." She jogged past them before setting into a sprint, stumbling every so often from lack of skill in physically controlling anything. Dipper tried to run after her, to help his sister and get her back into her own body _somehow_ but quickly lost her in the crowded group of trees; she was there one minute but had disappeared behind a thick tree trunk the next and no matter how much the boy looked, Dipper couldn't find her anywhere.  
' _Don't worry your sister is still here with us, well her soul at least. I don't know if it's a stupid or smart choice but she's decided to stick with us.'_ Bill explained.  
"Mabel?" Dipper asked warily and looked around at his surroundings, "I can't see you."  
"See, kid? This is why I didn't want you coming with me and Pine Tree here; you just mess things up," Bill said harshly through Dipper, most likely to Mabel's spirit.  
"Hey, get out of my body already," Dipper complained and Bill manifested beside him instantly, the soft pressure in the back of the boy's mind having disappeared as he did.  
The teen didn't hear anyone speak for a moment when his demonic companion broke the silence; "Well if you don't want a ' _body snatcher'"_ he did quote marks with his fingers in the air, "to possess you, then stop going around poking at floating fire." More thunder in the distance punctuated his sentence.  
"What is she saying?" Dipper asked.  
"You're the one to blame, kid. And that was part of the deal; Pine Tree's fine with it anyway."  
"Are you talking about me?" Dipper asked and was irritated at being ignored while he listened to the one-sided conversation.  
Bill looked at him, "she wants us to help her get her body back," he explained and folded his spindly arms over his shape.  
"That's not what it sounded like," Dipper frowned.  
"Well if you don't want to, then- "  
"No, no. We'll do it, I just… how?" Dipper asked.  
Bill's eye scrolled right to look elsewhere briefly before turning back to the boy and explaining; "she wants to go see your Great Uncle Ford, she thinks he can help."  
"Don't you know how to do it?" the teen asked.  
"Pine Tree, I'm offended. I thought we already established that I know _lots_ of things, and this is one of those many things."  
"Then why can't you just tell us?"  
"I want to watch you two sort things this time."  
"But if you know- "  
"Don't bother trying to persuade me, I'm not telling."  
Dipper sighed and massaged the bridge of his nose; "alright. Let's go ask Great Uncle Ford."  
"Great, been a while since I've seen ol' sixer anyway," Bill rubbed his hands together, "but I wouldn't say anything about me."  
"Why not?"  
"Just reasons."  
More thunder rumbled almost inaudibly far away in the distance and the rain had stopped.

The demon grabbed the boy's hand without asking, then the world around them was engulfed in his cobalt blue flame and they were standing in front of the shack before he knew it. Ignoring the brief wave of dizzying tiredness, the teen ran into the building and hurried to find his Great Uncle, searching each and every room and behind him he heard Bill mutter to his sister's soul; "stop complaining, you're still alive aren't y'?" After checking the basement to find it empty, Dipper ran back up the stairs but was knocked over when he bumped into a tall figure. Rubbing his head and standing up he exclaimed; "Great Uncle Ford; I was looking for you!"  
"Oh, sorry Dipper. I was just using the bath room; even crazy scientists need to go once in a while." Ford replied.  
"Right, ok so basically Mabel, Bi-" the immortal's words replayed through his mind: _I wouldn't say anything about me._ "Mabel and I," he said instead, "were in the woods and found this onibi thing and now it's possessing Mabel and she's just a soul now," he said quickly, panic lacing his tone.  
Ford's brows furrowed as he thought about what the boy had told him. "How do you know it was an onibi? I don't recall ever having wrote about it in the third journal," he placed a hand on his chin thoughtfully.  
"Uh... She- he- it told me?" he half-lied. It was true that, yes, the onibi had told him that that was its name but Bill had made it clear before that.  
Ford looked thoughtful for another moment before stepping past the boy, down into his basement, and beckoning the brunet to follow.

The basement was a mess. Tables were pressed against each wall, a messy bundle of papers was spread across all of the desks, and some on the floors, two shelves were in the corner, forming an 'L' shape- each shelf was so full of books that some had to be placed on top of the shelf of left laying on their side atop the other books, the room was poorly lit by a single bulb hanging in the middle of the room and the walls were grimy and the room smelled mildly mouldy. "I have a spell," Ford told Dipper and rummaged around in some cramped drawers, mumbling as he did so.  
"A spell to get Mabel back in her body?" Dipper asked.  
"A spell to get the onibi out of it. Mabel," he looked around the room, "I can't see you and I'm not sure if you're here right now, but when the onibi is out of your body you'll be able to go back into it," he continued to rummage through the old drawers.  
"Will it be able to get back into her body after?"  
"Only if Mabel doesn't take it back within five minutes. But you can always perform the spell again if it doesn't work, however it will be harder to separate the soul from the body a second time and even harder if left for a long period of time. Aha," he said and pulled out a messy piece of paper and it was covered in various symbols, none of which the boy understood.  
"Which part am I meant to say?" Although he had no idea how to pronounce the symbols, he was sure that Bill would be more than happy to help him out or if worst came to the worst then the demon might say the spell himself.  
Ford pointed out the section that Dipper was meant to say; "do you know how to pronounce it?"  
"I think I can figure it out. Thanks Great Uncle Ford!" he ran up the stairs without further word and Ford was smiling at his retreating form.

' _Bill!'_ Dipper thought, _'I have the spell, can you help me with it?'  
_ As the boy left the shack and was standing outside of the building, a flash of gold revealed Bill floating in front of him; "What, you want me to perform it for you, too?" the demon said, rolling his eye.  
"Well… Maybe if I can't do it myself," Dipper admitted sheepishly.  
"Jeese, Pine Tree, don't worry. It can't be too hard, let me take a look," he floated around to peer down at the paper over the boy's shoulder, humming thoughtfully.  
"Hey, Bill? Can I ask you something?" Dipper said.  
"Do you want me to help with the spell or answer your question? Make up your mind, kid."  
"Oh, uh…"  
"Relax, I'm kidding. Ask away," the demon leaned back, floating idly and closing his eye.  
"How do you know Great Uncle Ford?"  
"That's a long story… maybe I'll tell you after we deal with this mess." The teen nodded his agreement and the immortal continued; "anyway, that spell is easy enough to perform and shouldn't be too tiring for you weaklings. The main problem is being able to pronounce it," he explained. "You should probably practice first, let's go somewhere you won't get bugged by your family."

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

After practicing his pronunciation in the woods for about an hour – a very _long_ hour filled with Bill's sarcastic comments and complaints on Mabel's own complaints – Dipper was ready to find the onibi and get his sister's body back to her. "Let's do this," he said seriously.  
"Loving the serious attitude, Pine Tree. Let's go find us Shooting Star's body snatcher!" Bill encouraged, placing his hand in the boy's and teleporting them closer to where they needed to be.

Bill was right when he'd told Dipper that he'd get used to the teleportation; the flames died down and the teen felt just as well as always. He noticed that they were standing just outside the arcade station; "what happened to _'I want to watch you two sort things this time'_?" The boy pinched his nose as he imitated the demon, trying to make his voice sound higher and more nasally.  
"I don't sound like that. And I got bored of waiting; you really think I want to watch you stumble around the forest for a couple more hours? I'm not _that_ bored, Pine Tree." The brunet was about to answer back when Bill spoke again; "Shooting Star is complaining that you're taking too long."  
Dipper frowned and sighed before stepping into the arcade station, looking around for the body of his sister: he caught sight of her banging her fists against the change machine angrily.  
"Ma- Uh, Onibi!" Dipper called.

The being turned around to face him and he noticed her change of outfit; the fluffy sweater and skirt had been replaced with a green dress patterned with white daisies and the girl's hair had been tied into a bun, showing off a pair daisy ear rings. Dipper cringed at the outfit and how _un-Mabel_ it was.  
"Would you look who it is, took you long enough." Onibi spoke, placing her hands on her hips, "how do you like my new outfit?" she gestured to herself.  
"It's a violation of the human race and is offending every meat-sack in this room," Bill spoke despite knowing the onibi couldn't hear him and Dipper almost laughed at the comment. "Especially Shooting Star," the demon added.  
"We don't like it," Dipper answered Onibi.  
She snorted; "you wouldn't. Now go bug someone else, can't you see I'm busy?"  
"Busy… punching the change machine?"  
Instead of answering, the girl lunged at Dipper but Bill moved the boy back; she swung at him with newly painted nails – when had she found the time to do that in the hour and a half she'd been gone? – and when the demon moved the boy's body back, her nail snagged on his shirt. She gasped when her nail snapped; "You- I just painted these nails!" she screeched and jumped at him again.  
Bill continued to manoeuvre the human's body skilfully with each swing Onibi took at him, the teenage boy didn't fail to notice the crowd of people that had accumulated around them through his peripheral vision, they were all engrossed in the scene and a couple of them had even taken out their phones to take photos or videos. He recognised Sherriff Blubs and Deputy Durland pushing their way through the crowd and suspected that they'd arrived to put a stop to their fighting – fighting which probably only looked like sibling quarrelling to the others. However, the two police men only started cheering the two on, coaxing the rest of the crowd to join in; soon the entire arcade station was filled with a chant of; "fight, fight, fight."

' _The spell, say the spell Pine Tree.'_ Bill thought to him, bringing him out of his thoughts.  
Dipper allowed the demon to keep moving his body while he recalled the spell, he found it more difficult to remember the exact words with the adrenaline pumping through his veins and the panic consuming his mind, but he eventually remembered it. He started saying the spell but was cut off when a strong force pushed his body over; his sister's body had tackled him to the ground. Bill growled through Dipper's voice and used his own demonic strength to push the girl off, he climbed over her and straddled her, using his weight to keep her pinned. Dipper half expected the demon to start violently punching Onibi like he had the acheri, but was mildly shocked when the demon encouraged him to repeat the spell now that he wouldn't be interrupted. He did so, saying it flawlessly. Nothing happened. ' _Louder or it won't work as well,'_ Bill thought. Dipper repeated the spell louder but once again nothing happened. _'Louder, Pine Tree! Do you want to save Shooting Star or not?'_ Dipper shouted the spell loudly, his voice cracking from the louder volume; a new feeling filled his body and it was a sensation that made the boy think that water was rushing through his veins. It didn't hurt but instead tickled his skin, his insides, every part of him, and he felt energised. His eyes flashed a bright orange briefly as the spell was completed; beneath him, Onibi's struggling had ceased and was replaced with more convulsion and vicious shaking. Dipper, having control of his body now, moved off of his sister's body and kneeled down next to it. The shaking stopped. After a long minute in which everybody had quietened from the tension, the girl's eyes cracked open and her mouth split into a large smile. She leaped up and tackled Dipper in a tight hug. The crowd around them groaned in disappointment, leaving because the fight had ended.

"Yes, thank you! You have no idea how annoying it is being a ghost!" Mabel said.  
"Ha, yeah. Well I'm glad you're ok." Dipper replied.  
"At least the onibi didn't do anything too bad with my body. Except this _outfit-_ ugh."  
The boy laughed; "yeah, what happened to the onibi anyway?"  
"It's soul dispersed, that's what happens when you separate them from their physical form," Bill explained.  
"Great Uncle Ford said that it could get back in," the male teen said.  
"Fordsy doesn't know everything, Pine Tree. Trust me, I know a lot more than him."  
"Oh yeah, you still have to explain how you know him," Dipper reminded him.  
Bill hummed his acknowledgment.  
"You two can go do that, I want to go back to the shack and wear something that's less _ugly_ ," Mabel said, standing and grimacing as she looked over her outfit again.  
Her brother laughed before agreeing.

While Mabel headed back to the shack, Dipper and Bill teleported to a clearing in the forest. Dipper sat on the grass, enjoying the soft caressing of the wet grass against his legs as he stretched them out in front of him and leaned back on a damp tree trunk. He pulled the journal out from his vest and a pencil from his shorts pocket, he opened the book to a clean double page and titled it; 'Onibi.'  
The boy wrote everything he knew about the creature on the right page and drew a picture of the flame on the left. Bill floated down next to him, levitating only an inch above the ground, and he stretched an arm up to fiddle with the boy's hair, at which the teen flinched and cast an uncomfortable look to the other. The demon stopped curling the strands between his fingers but didn't remove his hand; "so what was it you wanted to know?" he asked.  
The brunet placed the pencil in the crease of the book and left the journal in his lap, still open; "Well… how do you know my Great Uncle Ford?"  
"What makes you think I know him?"  
"You spoke like you do."  
Bill moved his hand back down to fold with his other. He sat for a moment and seemed to be thinking deeply. "We…" he hesitated, his eye darting around the clearing before finally setting on the boy next to him; "long story short, we made a deal some time ago."  
"And…?" Dipper pressed, "what happened?"  
"He didn't keep his end of the deal."  
"Oh."  
"Yeah, oh."  
"What was the deal?"  
"Can't tell you that much, Pine Tree," his large eye pupil transitioned into the shape of a pad lock, "I keep my deals private," the pupil transformed back into its typical slit as he looked at the boy.  
They sat in silence for another minute; the quiet was unnatural for the loud, sarcastic demon.  
"Are you ok?" Dipper asked.  
"What?"  
"Are you ok?" he repeated, "you're quieter than usual. Is it because I said about Great Uncle Ford?"  
"You're so stupid, kid, I don't care about much let alone that meat-bag. I'm quiet because _you're_ quiet."  
Dipper flushed with embarrassment at being ridiculed by the demon, "s-sorry," he stuttered. His eyebrows furrowed in thought for a moment before he asked; "how old are you?"  
"I don't know; why would I care about how old I am? A few millennia maybe? Something like that," the demon chuckled, "I can't remember exactly, but it's not like I'm getting any closer to dying."  
Dipper shrugged before picking up his journal again and finishing the drawing of the onibi. "What will you do when you get a body?"  
"I haven't decided yet."  
Dipper could tell he was lying; he could see the calculating look in the demon's large orb, a look that said he was anticipating, planning, patiently waiting for the future to come; the boy knew that he'd go insane if he had to wait as long as the other did. He glanced at the immortal through his peripherals – Bill _was_ insane. No wonder why.

Bill chuckled under his breath as he heard the boy's thoughts loud and clear; he hadn't seen anything yet.

* * *

 **Onibi on Wiki: wiki/Onibi**

 **I really don't like this chapter, it feels too boring. The main reason I wrote it was because I wanted to get Mabel in there, too and also a little bit of Ford. (Honestly I really hate Ford, but I felt like a should add him in here.) I feel kinda bad cause I'm making Bill hate Mabel for no reason.**

 **There were a couple of things I want to point out, such as the arcade station. I'm not sure if that's what they're called in American English (I'm British so we just say arcades.) And I really wanted to get a bit of irony in there when Mabel says 'You have no idea how annoying it is being a ghost' just because it was Dipper in that situation in the series xD.**

 **Oh and spoiler alert; I plan on Bill being OCL; Obsessive Compulsive Liar. Bill, Why you always lying? (I'm sorry.)**

 **I also really dislike how I wrote Bill in this chapter, he doesn't seem insane enough. I plan on the next chapter introducing a bit more of the crazy demon we all know and love, maybe removing some deer teeth, or maybe he went back in time and killed the last dodo bird to get and give its still beating heart to Dipper as a sign of his affection? I haven't decided yet; but I want to get creative. Maybe bring in some blood and gore? Who knows. You can comment what you'd like to see if you want and I'll try to get in any requests. Also, feel free to suggest any mythical creatures or whatever you want me to write. And let me know if you want more/less Mabel/Ford/other side-ish characters.**

 **Thanks for reading, comment, leave kudos, etc if you liked it! ;)**


	7. Griffin & Wyvern

**This was requested by a guest on , thanks to them.**

* * *

"Hey, bro-bro," Mabel greeted her brother as he descended the stairs for breakfast - the greasy stench of omelettes invaded the boy's nostrils, but by now he was used to it. The rest of his family was already sitting up the table, eating their own food and the brunet didn't fail to notice Ford's eyes on him. Dipper poured himself a glass of orange juice and sat down at the table, taking a knife and fork he dug into the meal as he listened to his sister's re-telling of the events from the day prior. "Hey," he greeted his sister back.  
"So anyways," Mabel continued, "I was basically kicked out my own body and was a ghost! But Dipper and Bill went- "  
Dipper choked on his food abruptly, coughing violently; Stan quickly gave his back a few hard pats and the chewed up food dislodged, coming back up and flying out of his mouth to land on his half-eaten omelette, at which he grimaced in disgust. "Mabel!" He said angrily, ignoring the pain in his throat and speaking through the hoarse tone.  
"What? What did I do?" the brunette seemed shocked at her brother's tone.  
"I didn't…" he started before just groaning in frustration. Having lost his appetite after choking, he slipped from his seat and retreated back upstairs without further word.

As he walked through the doorway to his room in the attic, Dipper slammed the door behind him aggressively and jumped onto his bed, laying down with his arms and legs spread and face pressed into the pillow, releasing a frustrated sigh.  
"Hey- whoa, Pine Tree; you okay there?" Bill chuckled from next to him and he turned his head to the side to peer at the demon.  
"Mabel told Grunkle Stan and Ford about what happened yesterday," the boy explained.  
"So what? They know about all this junk anyway so why do you care?"  
"Because she also said about you."  
"That's all? You humans get upset over just about anything, don't you?"  
"You mean you're not annoyed that she told them?" he sat up on the bed.  
"Nah, I knew that either you or Shooting Star would tell 'em eventually. Anyways, I think I have something to cheer you up, kid!"  
"Really, what?"  
"I've got a gift for you," a small vortex opened to the left of him and he stretched an arm in, a second vortex opened to the right of him and the same arm stretched out, holding something that the boy didn't want to know what it was or _where_ the demon had obtained it. He dropped the object into his other palm before stretching his arm back through each vortex, which then closed once he'd regained his normal proportions. Throwing the object to Dipper, his eye squinted to suggest a smile or a smirk when the boy caught it and yelped once he realised what is was; "surprise, Pine Tree!"  
"What the heck- is that a heart?!" the boy dropped it on the bed and scrambled away from it; it was still beating and oozing blood from each hole where an artery should have been connected.  
"Sure is! I figured that you'd want something that most humans value, and since I'm always getting sacrifices of various organs when I'm summoned… You meat-sacks usually sacrifice the things you hold dearest, and I get hearts offered the most, so it must be important, right?"  
"No! I don't want a human heart as a gift!" Dipper protested, pushing himself against the wall in desperation to put distance between himself and the organ.  
"Pine Tree, you clearly know nothing about anatomy- that's a dodo's heart."  
"A dodo bird? Those aren't even alive anymore!"  
"Exactly, I went back in time and slaughtered the last one just so I could get its heart for you. I also got its other organs and a few feathers if you want them too?"  
"No I don't, you're insane!"  
"Sure I am, what's your point?"  
"The point is I don't want a heart as a gift!"

A soft knock on the door distracted him from his yelling and he realised that whoever was on the other side probably only heard half of the discussion; it must have looked like he was talking to himself. The door creaked open, the thirteen-year-old expected it to be Mabel coming to ask what was wrong or maybe even apologise. He was surprised when Ford's head popped around the corner.  
"Dipper?" Ford asked.  
"Great Uncle Ford?"  
"I was just coming up to talk to you, is everything alright?" he went into the room fully and closed the door behind himself.  
Dipper moved forward slightly to get off the bed, but yelped and moved back again when his knee squished against the dodo heart that still laid beating on his bed. Next the boy, Bill was only floating idly and staying quiet as the two humans talked to one another.  
"Is that a human heart?" Ford asked. He was clearly shocked, but who wouldn't be when they found a beating heart on their grand-nephews bed?  
"I- it's a dodo heart...?" Dipper said pathetically; how could he explain this situation? He moved a hand up to wipe his forehead of the sweat there but stopped when he noticed his blood-soaked hands and yelped again in surprise.  
"Where on earth did you get that?" Ford asked and the younger boy was surprised at the man's calmness.  
"I gave it to him!" Bill spoke through Dipper suddenly and he slapped his hands over his mouth in an attempt to quiet the demon or take back what had been said; he frantically pulled them away again when the vile taste of blood danced across his lips.  
"Dipper," Ford's tone sounded warning, "you made a deal with Bill Cipher," it was a statement rather than a question. It was all the boy could do to nod sheepishly. "Why? What did he offer you? He's dangerous, Dipper, how could you be so stupid to make a deal?" The boy shied away, feeling ashamed at being the subject of his Great Uncle's anger. "Answer me, what was the deal?"  
"He's going to show me all of the mysteries in Gravity Falls," Dipper answered.  
"And what did you promise him in return?"  
"I'm going to find him a physical body."  
Just as Ford was about to answer, there was another knock on the door and this time, Mabel walked in with a look of concern etched on her face. "What's going on?" she asked.  
"Nothing, I just…" Ford massaged the bridge of his nose before leaving with a mumbled apology.  
"What… what is that on your face...?" The girl asked once Ford had left.  
The boy felt his face again and remembered about the blood he'd smeared over himself; he rushed to the bathroom quickly. He didn't bother looking in the mirror as he scrubbed at his face roughly in desperation to wash off the already drying substance. "So you don't want the heart, then? Trust me, it makes for a great meal if you grill it." Bill spoke from behind the boy.  
"I don't want to eat a heart," Dipper said and rubbed his face on a towel.  
The demon hummed in thought and the boy interrupted the thoughts immediately; "and no, I don't want to eat the kidney, liver, lungs or anything else from a dodo bird."  
"Alright, kid. What about the feathers? Shooting Star likes making those ridiculous sweaters, you could give her the feathers and she'd have a lovely dodo-sweater! Might want to wash off the blood first, though."  
"I am not giving dodo feathers to Mabel," the boy gritted his teeth and opened the bathroom door, just as he did a scream came from the girl in question upstairs. He ran up the stairs two at a time and burst into their shared room to find the girl on her own bed, hands cupped around her mouth in shock.  
"What is that?!" the girl asked and pointed to the bloody organ on his bed.  
"Bill, get rid of that!" he yelled. The demon clicked his fingers and the heart erupted in blue flames; the immortal glowed a brighter yellow as it burnt away, the pool of blood disappearing with it.  
Mabel shivered and gulped, trying to swallow her disgust and fear. "Alright," she sighed and forced a smile, "Dip-dop, do you want to go monster hunting again?"  
"I don't know, I was just going to watch TV after what happened yesterday," Dipper admitted.  
"But Dipper!" she whined, drawling out his name, "I was a ghost yesterday, I barely got to do anything!"  
The more the boy thought of it, the more tempting the offer was- did he really want to be at the shack with his Great Uncle Ford after what just happened? "Alright," he said.  
"Great, get your journal and let's go see what we can find!"  
"I have the perfect thing to show you today, Pine Tree. You'll love it, I assure you." Bill interrupted.  
"What? No, it was meant to be just me and Dip-dop," Mabel protested.  
"And yesterday was meant to be just me and Pine Tree, too. But oh look who tagged along then," Bill retorted, squinting his eye at the girl as if daring her to refuse.  
"Dipper," the girl whined again, "tell Bill he can't come."  
"I don't see why he can't, he said he can show us something good today anyway," Dipper said.  
"But I just wanted it to be us," Mabel protested.  
"Oh well, looks like you can't always get what you want, Shooting Star. Now, let's go." He reached out his palm to each twin but was once again refused by the boy in favour of walking, explaining that he didn't want Mabel to start coughing up her lungs again. "Meh, it'll only take half an hour anyway," the immortal dismissed.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

"We've been walking for an hour and we're still not there. What are you even taking us to find?" Dipper whined.  
"Pine Tree, I'm a dream demon, not a time demon – those guys are jerks. And we're going to find a griffin."  
"A griffin?"  
"Yeah, you know? The half lion, half eagle? It's more two thirds lion and a third eagle, I think but eh, whatever floats your boat."  
"I know what a griffin is," the boy said.  
"Where do we find it?" Mabel asked.  
"They always live in caves so they have somewhere to keep their goods. Luckily, there are plenty of caves around these woods," Bill said.  
"Oh yeah, griffins are known for guarding treasure aren't they," Dipper said.  
"That they are, alright…" the demon hesitated, "well aren't you lucky! You get to kill another two birds with one stone, kid."  
The boy frowned, "the last time you said that, the forest was on fire."  
"Three birds then; there's a griffin and a wyvern just around this corner _and_ the forest isn't on fire, isn't that great?" the immortal spoke.  
"What's a wyvern?" the boy's sister asked.  
"Kind of like a dragon but it only has two legs, it uses its wings kind of as front legs," Dipper explained.  
"Oh cool! Are the griffin and the wyvern friends? Do you think they date? What if they have a little dragon-griffin baby? That'd be so cute!" the girl gushed.  
They rounded the corner to see the opposite of what the teenage girl had described.

There stood a tall wyvern, its body was covered in scales so black that the night paled in comparison. Spikes trailed along its spine and down its tail, the tip of its tail was covered in more spikes, smaller but just as deadly as the larger ones. Its legs were like trunks, claws on the tips that could slice through anything and its large wings had claws on the end than doubled for feet. When it opened its mouth, a pair of sharp fangs were revealed and its eyes were a dark, animalistic brown with a golden rim. Its long, grey tongue slivered out between its teeth briefly and quickly slid back in.

It clawed at the other mystical beast – the griffin – digging its claws into the beast's lion-body. The griffin screeched in pain and wrenched back, blood leaking from the gaping wound.  
Mabel gasped; "No, the griffin!"  
The wyvern's head snapped to them.  
"Now you've done it, Shooting Star," Bill scolded and immediately took the reins on Dipper's body, preparing to get him away if need be. The reptile moved toward them with a hungry look in its eye and the duo moved backwards warily when suddenly the griffin jumped onto the wyvern's back, burying its talons into its scales. The wyvern released its own screech of pain and whipped its body around in an attempt to throw the griffin off, but it held on tightly.  
"Yeah, go griffin!" Mabel cheered and was joined by her brother; "yeah, kick its butt!" they shouted. "We need to help it," Mabel exclaimed and Dipper agreed instantly, already getting to work on formulating a plan to help the griffin.  
"Alright, it looks like its wings are its weakness. Bind them together and it won't be able to fly away, it also won't be able to use its front legs," Dipper explained.  
"I have the perfect solution," Mabel said and pulled out her notorious grappling hook from her sweater, holding it in the air and announcing; "grappling hook!" Behind them, the wyvern finally managed to throw the griffin from its body; the mythical beast was launched into a tree, pulling up the roots of the plant and sending it toppling over with it, it squawked as the tree fell on one of its wings.  
"Bill and I will go help the griffin, you go tie up the wyvern's wings with your grappling hook," Dipper quickly instructed. Mabel nodded and ran toward the reptile while Dipper ran off his own way.

"Hey dragon-breath!" Mabel shouted as she ran toward it, calling it incorrectly in hopes of making the beast angry; and it seemed to work when it turned toward her sharply, roaring in her direction. She dodged a claw that swung at her and ran around it to its back legs, it tried to swing at her with its deadly tail but missed when she grasped a hold of the scales on its legs. The dark colour of the scales made it hard to distinguish where she could grasp but she eventually managed to climb up onto its back and stood proudly. Shaking violently, the wyvern tried to throw the girl off of its back but she held onto the spikes on its spine tightly to stay on: a few scales fell from its body when it shook, having been pulled loose by the talons of the griffin.

Dipper ran over to the griffin that lay beneath the large tree, squawking in pain and desperately trying to flap its broken wings. The boy hushed the mystical creature; "it's going to be ok, I'm here to help," he looked at the tree trunk frantically. "Bill can you help me get this up?"  
' _Sure thing, just go ahead and lift it.'_ Bill thought in the boy's mind. The teen felt a surge of strength in his body and was almost jittery from the large amount of power; he managed to fit his small fingers in a crack between the trunk and the floor and lifted with his knees. He was shocked at how easily he lifted the large piece of wood, even with Bill's help he expected a little bit of difficulty. He lifted the object above his head in both hands and threw it away, further into the forest, he laughed at the exhilarating feeling before it left quickly and he found himself missing the strength instantly. The griffin stood slowly, its wings looked broken and out of place and when the creature tried to stretch them a loud crack resounded through the air; the boy winced at the noise.

Dipper turned to see his sister shoot her grappling hook upwards. The chain extended and looped around the wyvern's wings twice before the girl pulled the device to tighten its grasp, making the reptile's feet nudge slightly. Once his sister jumped from its body, using the grappling hook as leverage to descend safely to the floor, she ran over to her brother. The wyvern tried to move toward them but fell when its front legs couldn't budge. It desperately tried to flap its wings and release itself from its binds, roaring again at the two humans, the demon and the griffin.  
"Yeah," the twins shouted in unison and high fived each other while grinning. However, their victory seemed short lived when the chain around the wyvern's wings were loosened enough for the reptile to get free; but just when they all thought it would attack them again, it instead turned around and flew away quickly into the sky. "It must've gotten scared and decided to run off," Dipper concluded.  
"That was so awesome! Did you see me climb that thing? It was like a crazy adventure course thing that you go on at theme parks but _better!_ " Mabel exclaimed happily.  
"Yeah, I saw you, you were awesome," her brother agreed.  
"And what about you? Lifting that giant tree, you were amazing, you saved the griffin!"  
"With Bill's help," he agreed sheepishly.  
The clearing of a throat directed their attention to the griffin they'd saved. It stood in front of them, tall and strong. "Thank you, humans for saving me."  
"Whoa, you can talk?" Mabel asked incredulously.  
"Yes, and I wish I had something to offer you as a thanks for your aid but I have nothing."  
"Don't you have a stash of gold or something in your cave?" Dipper asked.  
"Yes but, uh, that's mine."  
"Oh, okay. So uh, how's your wings?"  
"Broken, but they can easily be fixed with the use of magic and a day's rest."  
"Great, well we hope you get better soon, man."  
"Oh, Dipper," Mabel said, "I just remembered, earlier the wyvern lost a couple of its scales; we can keep those as a way to remember what we did today." She looked around the space for said scales and when her eyes locked onto two shiny black objects laying on the floor, she jogged over to them. She picked them up and gave one to her brother who smiled at the sight.  
"These are amazing," he said.  
"We should show these to Grunkle Stan and Ford when we get back to the shack later."  
Dipper frowned as he remembered the events of that morning, "I don't know if Great Uncle Ford would want to talk to me right now."  
"You mean about this morning?" Mabel's smile dropped from her face and Dipper nodded as he stared at the scale to avoid eye contact.  
"Don't worry about it, kid. Sixer's just jealous that I gave you a heart and not him," Bill appeared next to the boy and assured him, leaning his arm on the brunet's head.  
"I don't think that's it…" Dipper said, "maybe I'll talk to him about it when we get back."  
"Hm. Oh yeah, Shooting Star I have something for y'" the immortal said.  
"Really?" Mabel was surprised that the demon would get her anything; "what is it?"  
The immortal's hand lit up briefly and he held out a handful of brown feathers to the girl.  
"Feathers?" she asked and took them.  
"Bill!" Dipper exclaimed angrily.  
"Not just _any_ feathers; dodo feathers! Merry Christmas, Shooting Star."  
The girl dropped the feathers quickly and they blew away in the wind, "dodo bird feathers? Augh, where did you even get them?" she wiped her hands on her sweater frantically.  
"Jeeze, you humans are so un-appreciative. First Pine Tree and now you? I thought you might want to make another hideous sweater or something but no. Would you rather have the lungs?"  
"No!" both humans shouted in unison.  
"Alright, alright. Sheesh."

Dipper sighed and pulled out his journal and a pencil; "I'm just going to write about the griffin and the wyvern now. Do you think the griffin would answer any of my questions?" he looked at the demon and his sister, eyes flicking between the duo.  
Bill shrugged, "probably."  
"I'll come with you, I want to ask him if he knows any hot _vampires._ " Mabel said.  
"I doubt he does," Dipper replied.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

"Grunkle Stan~" Mabel shouted as they entered the shack, "we're home~" The twins entered the living room and Stan was lounging on his sofa with a can of Pitt cola in hand. On TV was a new episode of Ducktective.  
"Hey Grunkle Stan have you, uh, seen Great Uncle Ford? I need to talk to him about something." Dipper spoke.  
"In the basement," Stan said. His eyes were glued to the TV and Mabel sat on the floor in front of him. Dipper thanked him before heading out of the room; ' _Bill, please don't say anything while I'm down there, I want to have a serious talk with Great Uncle Ford.'  
'Kid, don't go down there.'  
'What, why?' _he froze in front of the vending machine.  
' _Just don't. Sixer will lie to you and try to break our deal, don't go down there.'  
'Ford wouldn't do that, he only does what he does to keep our family safe.'_  
He put the code in the vending machine and descended down the steps, ignoring Bill's loud thoughts that shouted at him to stop until they faded away.  
"Great Uncle Ford?" he called once he neared the room the man was usually in. In the room he'd been in yesterday, Ford was sitting at a table scrawling down notes on various pieces of paper. "What are you doing?" Dipper asked, but got no reply so he asked again.  
Ford looked at the boy; "Dipper?"  
"Hey, uh… What're you doing there?" Dipper asked, looking for something to break the ice.  
The man gathered the papers and pulled them closer to himself protectively, "did Cipher send you down here? Did he?" he asked frantically.  
"No, why would he?"  
"He can't get down here himself so he'd have to send you. What did he tell you to do?"  
"Bill didn't want me to come down here in the first place, I just wanted to talk to you," he stepped closer to Ford, who stepped back as he neared, grasping the papers closely.  
"You shouldn't have made a deal with Cipher, Dipper. He's using you to get what he wants."  
"No, we're both getting something we want. That's the point of the deal, he's already showed me tonnes of cool things in Gravity Falls, see?" the boy pulled the journal from his vest and flicked through it to show him the pages he'd recently filled in. "We saw an acheri, and that onibi yesterday; today we saw a griffin and a wyvern and look," he pulled a shiny black object from his pocket, "I got a scale from the wyvern, it's so cool."  
"Dipper, he's using you- "  
"He's not!" The boy was getting frustrated with his Great Uncles reprimands by now and put the objects back in his vest. "Is this about the deal you made with him? Is that why you don't want me to make one, too? Because you couldn't pay up?"  
"What are you talking about?"  
"Bill told me about the deal you two made, and how you didn't pay your part of it. I don't know why or what the deal was, but I'm not going to make the same mistake. Bill's keeping his end and I'm going to keep mine whether you like it or not."  
"Whatever Cipher said, he was lying."  
"No, I don't care anymore!" he was shaking from his anger; "I came down here to talk to you but now I wish I didn't." he ran upstairs before Ford could reply.

' _Pine Tree,_ ' Bill thought seriously once he made it out of the basement, ' _What did he say?'  
'You didn't hear?' _Dipper thought back as he ran up the stairs to his and Mabel's shared room.  
' _Sixer put a spell on the basement, I can't get down there. What did he say?'  
'He said you're using me and was lying about the deal.'  
_Bill seemed to growl in the boy's head, ' _Don't believe him, he's lying,'_ he snapped.  
Dipper slammed the attic door behind him angrily and kicked off his shoes before jumping onto his bed. Removing his cap and placing it on the table next to his bed, he snuggled up under the covers. It was only ten o'clock at night but the boy felt both physically and emotionally exhausted after the day's events. "I know," Dipper spoke aloud. "I believe you," and with that he fell into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

 **Griffin on Wikipedia:** **wiki/Griffin**

 **Wyvern on Wikipedia:** **wiki/Wyvern**

 **ALSO; I have started drawing some of the creatures that I think are harder to explain and need a drawing. Check them out on DA:  
Acheri: ****art/Acheri-596377974  
Xiuhcoatle: art/Xiuhcoatle-596380201  
(Onibi, the griffin and the Wyvern aren't to hard to picture so I didn't draw them.)**

 **Anyways, we have some Ford and Dipper conflict in there and I'm not sure how bad I feel about it... I'm joking, I have 0 regrets. I'm glad this was requested, I had fun writing the little action scene with the twins and the two creatures; especially Mabel and the wyvern. I had a lot of fun with the heart bit, too xD I really want Bill and Dipper to start getting closer, I think that was the main point of Ford and Dipper's arguments, just so I could portray how much our little 'Pine Tree' trusts the multi-dimensional (and now time travelling!) demon.**

 **Anyways, thanks for reading. Don't forget to leave comments, kudos etc and feel free to request a creature ;D**


	8. Cadon

Brushing the broom against the wooden floorboards, Dipper watched his sister stack snow globes on the shelves; the gift shop was empty and the twins had been ordered to clean up before any tourists would come by. Mabel had instantly picked globe-duty just so she could shake each object and watch the glitter float around before it settled and she would put it on the shelf – with every _single_ one. "How do you not get bored of that? You've stacked, what, nearly one hundred snow globes now? And you've shaken every single one," the boy said.  
"One hundred and eight," Mabel corrected her twin; "one hundred and nine," she then counted as she put another globe on the stand. "And have you seen these globes?" she held one up to eye-level and examined the globe closely before shaking it slightly. Inside the glass was a miniature version of the mystery shack and a miniature ' _Mr. Mystery'_ standing outside of it and small pine trees surrounding the building; orange glitter flitted elegantly to the bottom of the globe. "They're _amazing,"_ Mabel spoke in a hushed tone filled with amazement and her eyes sparkled with excitement. Dipper rolled his eyes and continued to sweep the floor.

"Where do you think Soos is?" Dipper asked, "it's not like him to be this late."  
Mabel glanced at the clock, "it's only been five minutes, bro-bro."  
"Exactly, when has Soos _ever_ been late? He usually walks in as soon as someone flips the sign to open."  
Mabel hummed in thought, "maybe he slept in late?"  
"I doubt it, pretty sure he has, like, six alarm clocks to wake him up for work."  
"Heh, yeah. He really loves this place _way_ more than he should."  
"Even more than us, and we live here," Dipper smiled.

Just as the two laughed together, the gift shop's door opened with a ding of the bell and in walked the man in question; he looked just as happy as always but had heavy bags under his eyes.  
"Sup, hambone," Soos spoke through a yawn.  
"Hey Soos," the twins greeted in unison.  
"Man, you look terrible. What happened to you?" Dipper asked.  
"Nothing, dude. Abuelita was having trouble with some weird cat-dragon thing and I was up all night trying to get it out of the house. Heh, slept through, like, all seven of my alarm clocks, too. The cadon is hiding in the fridge though, so it should be ok until I get back later."  
"Cadon?" Dipper questioned.  
"Yeah, the cat dragon, made the name up myself. What d'you think, dude? Thumbs up? Thumbs down?"  
"You look really tired," Mabel observed, ignoring his question.  
"Nothing a little work can't fix," the man replied.  
"Uh, actually I think working would just make you even more tired. Why don't you go home and sleep? I'm sure Stan won't mind if you take a day off," the young boy suggested.  
"Never dude," he placed a large hand over his heart and looked up with pride, "I made a pledge to be here every day for work. I cannot abandon my duty now," he then lifted the hand from his heart to his mouth and yawned again.  
"I know!" Mabel shouted in her brother's ear, making him scream and jump back in shock, dropping the broom.  
"Mabel!" he scolded her.  
"Let me and Dip-dop help, we can get rid of the cadon for you and you'll finally be able to sleep tonight," Mabel offered.  
"There is no way I'm calling it a cadon," her brother grumbled.  
"You dudes would do that for me?"  
"Sure we would, right bro-bro?" the girl punched her twin's shoulder playfully.  
"Sure, I don't see why not. Beats sweeping up the floor," he gestured to the dusty floorboards.  
"Thanks hambone, I'll give you a ride there to save you walking," Soos said.

They exited the shack and climbed into Soos' old, battered truck. It desperately needed a new paint job, the dull colour having been scratched to reveal lines of grey underneath. The man sat in the driver's seat with the twins in the back and Dipper wasn't surprised when a familiar voice and light pressure filled his head; _'Hey Pine Tree, what you doing?'_  
' _We're going to help Soos with some weird dragon-cat that's at his house,'_ the boy thought back.  
' _Ah, the cadon.'_  
 _'Seriously, you too? That is the worst name ever I am not calling it that.'  
'Well that's its name, kid. Anyway, you spoken to sixer any more since last night?'  
'No,' _he answered bluntly. He hadn't seen the man, let alone spoken to him; and if the boy were honest, he didn't really want to do either any time soon. Something gave Dipper the impression that the demon in his mind was smirking at his line of thought. ' _Anything you can tell me about the dragon-cat?"_ he decided to change the subject.  
' _The cadon,'_ Bill corrected.  
' _Fine, the cadon.'  
_ A laugh echoed through the teen's mind, ' _yeah, they're a lot smaller than normal dragons and the wyvern we saw yesterday. Only the size of a cat, for obvious reasons.'_  
The teen scrunched up his nose, ' _how did a cat and a dragon cross-breed anyway?'  
'Well I think it's about time someone explained the birds and the bees to you, Pine Tree- '  
'I know about the birds and the bees!' _he blushed at the thought of his demonic companion being the one to explain the concept to him. How humiliating that would be.  
"Dip-dop, why are you blushing?" Mabel grinned next to him, poking at his cheek with a 'womp' sound. "Are you thinking about Wendy again?"  
"No," he denied quickly.  
"Oh really? Then are you thinking about…" she looked to make sure Soos wasn't listening; "about a certain triangle shaped demon?" she formed a triangle shape around her left eye with her hands and smirked knowingly. Bill couldn't help but laugh through Dipper when the boy's face heated up more. "You didn't deny it, so you do like him!" Mabel concluded, trying to jump up happily but was kept in her seat by the seat belt.  
"No!" Dipper protested after having regained control of his mouth, and blushed even harder if possible. "I don't like him!"  
"Dude, who does Dipper like?" Soos joined in from the front, looking at the two in the mirror.  
"No one!" Dipper refused angrily but was talked over by his louder sister;  
"Dipper likes Bill," she answered.  
Dipper gave up protesting when his sister continued to tease him about it.  
' _Pine Tree, I'm offended. You don't like me?'_  
"No, I do I just…" he realised that he'd spoken aloud too late to try and cover it up, Mabel began squealing next to him.  
"You admitted it!" she pulled her brother into a hug so tight that he couldn't breathe enough to protest and the immortal in his head released a high pitched laugh. "We need a plan to find out if he likes you back," she released the boy and held him at arm's length, staring at him with a dead serious expression.  
"No, he doesn't like me and I don't li- "  
"Don't worry, I'm sure he likes you too, bro-bro."  
"I don't- I thought you don't even like Bill, why do want me to date him so badly?"  
"Because you need a cutie to go out with," she punched his shoulder playfully.  
"Well it's not like he likes me anyway, so even if I did like him – which I don't – he would never want to go out with a ' _meat-sack'"_ he made quote marks with his fingers, "like me."  
"We're here, dudes," Soos interrupted and the boy got out of the car before Mabel could stop him.  
Soos walked into the building and greeted his Abuelita warmly; Dipper was about to follow the man but was stopped by his sister:  
"How do you know? Did you ask him if he likes you?" she grinned.  
"No."  
"You should ask him then," just as the girl finished the sentence a gold flash revealed the demon floating next to them, his bow-tie and top hat as immaculate as ever.  
"Ask me what?" he drawled out but obviously already knew the subject of the humans' conversation.  
"Yes, Bill!" Mabel said happily, "do you like Dipper?" she pointed to her brother.  
"Course I do, I already told Pine Tree that days ago," he tapped his cane on the boy's head.  
"I- I don't have time for this, I'm going to help Soos with that cat dragon or whatever," the boy mumbled angrily before storming into the house.  
"Cadon," Bill called after his retreating form.  
"Whatever," the boy called back before closing the door.

Once the door was closed, Mabel squealed again and spoke to the demon; "are you two going to go out? That'd be so cute, you should totally ask him out!"  
"Calm down, kid. Are you meat-sacks really stupid enough to think I'd fall for one of you? Ha, even I wouldn't want that nightmare to come true."  
"W-what…?" the girl deflated, "but- "  
"Shooting Star. Stop trying to interfere in my deal with Pine Tree," his eye glowed a dull red and the girl could easily see that the demon was annoyed.  
"You said you like him," she attempted to defend both herself and her brother and pointed an accusing finger at the demon, "was you lying?"  
"No, I wouldn't lie to Pine Tree. You're lucky he loves you so much, kid, or I'd have dealt with you ages ago."  
The girl's blood ran cold at his words and she ran inside after her brother without another word.

"-t is still in the fridge," Abuelita was saying.  
"Hey!" Mabel said with fake cheer, desperate to distract herself from Bill's words.  
Dipper, Soos and Abuelita looked at her as she greeted them; "Hey Mabes, the cadon should still be in the fridge. Unless it somehow ate its way through the wall or something," her brother said.  
"Dipper, I- can I talk to you- " the girl began while dragging him into the kitchen so that they were alone but she noticed an ominous, triangular shadow cast just below her twin's feet.  
"You okay? You look like you've seen a ghost," his eyebrows furrowed in concern.  
"Yeah, I'm fine," she forced another smile.  
"Alright," he mumbled before looking over to the fridge blankly, as if having a mental debate on what to do next. "According to Bill, cadons can't breathe fire unlike real dragons. They just have really sharp claws and teeth. Basically like an angry cat with wings," he informed the girl.  
"How big do they usually get...?" Mabel asked, once again trying to distract her mind from the subject of the dream demon.  
"Not very, but sometimes the DNA apparently mutates or something so you get huge ones like the wyvern from yesterday. But if this one fit in the fridge, it can't be too big."  
"Alright, lets catch this cadon," she said half-heartedly.  
"You ready, Shooting Star?" Bill grinned at the girl through Dipper. She took a step back before swallowing her fear and nodding. "You open the fridge door and when you do, it'll hopefully fly out and I'll catch it in this," he held up a small, mesh bin to show her.  
"Will that even hold it?"  
He shrugged, "probably. If not, we can just try and scare it out. It shouldn't be too hard. You ready?" he poised himself in front of the fridge door, ready to pounce on the cadon once his sister opened it.

Mabel walked to the side of the fridge in preparation, about to nod her confirmation when a thought struck her. ' _Why is it always Dipper who gets the dangerous jobs?'_ she glanced at the boy and he was watching her expectantly. ' _First the acheri, that forest fire, now this,'_ the thought rang through her head and she immediately stepped toward her brother and reached a hand out to him.  
"What?" he asked, eyebrows furrowing.  
"Let's switch, you open the door and _I'll_ catch it in the trash can," she explained.  
"Why?" he asked simply.  
"Cause I'm not afraid to deal with it," she looked him dead in the eyes, hoping that the dream demon in her brother's head could see her clearly.  
"I never said you were."  
"Then let me handle it," she snatched the bin from her brother's grasp and took up his place in front of the fridge. He stood awkwardly for a moment, surprised at her sudden outburst but moved to open the fridge for her anyway.  
' _Why is she acting so weird all of a sudden…?'_ he thought to himself, but Bill answered anyway;  
' _Probably one of those irrational female mood swings. Don't sweat it, Pine Tree, you know what females are like.'  
_ He agreed mentally.  
"One," Mabel said.  
"Two," he followed.  
"Three," they said together.

Dipper whipped the fridge door open and Mabel lifted the bin up quickly, ready to pounce on the cadon. Inside the small space was a cat-sized creature. It was covered in brown, fluffy fur and was curled up in its own small, leathery wings; its tail was long and looked like that of the wyvern's they'd seen – its back legs clearly resembled a cat's but its front ones were those of a dragon. Its body was wracked with shivers from the cold space of the refrigerator and Mabel cooed at how cute she thought the image was; "oh that poor thing, it's cold," she dropped the bin and picked up the small creature to cradle in her arms.  
"Mabel, put that thing down; it's dangerous," her brother scolded.  
"No it's not, look at it. It's adorable," she spoke in a baby voice.  
The small cadon unwrapped a wing from around itself and popped an eye open, peering at the boy. He couldn't help but smile at the sight, "must've fell asleep from the cold. I guess it _is_ kind of cute," he admitted. He moved forward to stroke under its chin but quickly recoiled his digits when it hissed and tried to snap at them angrily. He sighed in annoyance, "on second thought; it'd be a lot cuter if it didn't try to bite my fingers off."  
"He's just moody that we woke him up," she gasped, "can we keep him?"  
"No, just put it outside before it causes any more trouble," he moved to pick it from his sister's grasp but it hissed loudly at him before spreading its small wings and flapping them. It quickly flew out of the kitchen and into the living room, which was quickly filled with the shouts of the man-child in there, Soos.

Dipper picked up the previously dropped bin quickly and ran into the living room with his sister in tow. Looking around the room and seeing no sign of the creature, he asked; "where did it go?"  
"Dude, it crawled under the coffee table," Soos replied.  
"How can we get him out?" Mabel asked.  
"I don't know hambone, but it's a lot bigger than when I shut it in there this morning," the man said unsurely.  
"Then let's get it out before it can get any bigger," the teenage boy concluded and knelt down on his hands and knees to peer under the table; the furnishing was close to the ground the pushed into a corner, the cadon beneath it was cornered by the wall. Bright, green eyes peered at the boy when he looked at it, seemingly glowing in the shadow cast by his body and the table. "It looks really scared," he observed as it pushed its body up against the wall. The boy didn't expect it to suddenly pounce, and when it did its claws dug into the sides of his face – he screamed and stumbled back while trying to pull it from his face.  
"Dipper!" Mabel called, she and Soos rushed over to try and yank the cadon from his face but it held tight: the boy's hands clenched and were immediately set alight in a blue flame, they reached up and wrapped around the creature's torso. It screeched and clenched its claws in pain, digging them deeper into the boy's flesh, at which he screamed louder. His hands surged with a new strength, the flames sparked brighter, larger and the being was pulled from his face in a hurry; its claws desperately scratched to attack him as the fur on its torso burned and filled the room with a crisp stench. The deep cuts on his face were steadily oozing blood and his body panted, trying to block out the pain. A sneer was plastered to his face, but it wasn't his own and his hands gripped the cadon much tighter than necessary. Bill lifted him to his feet and threw the creature to the floor viciously where it yelped from the strong impact: he looked about ready to stomp the life from the small thing when he was shouted at; "Dipper!"  
It was Mabel. "Don't you dare, it's in enough pain!" she ran in front of the boy's body to shield the cadon on the floor which scurried away quickly, taking advantage of the distraction to move beneath the coffee table again.  
"I told you not to interfere, kid," Bill warned, lifting a warning hand up.  
"I'm not letting you hurt the poor cadon, now give Dipper his body back you- you three sided dumb-dumb!"  
The demon growled, setting a hand alight once more and pulling it back as if ready to punch the girl; he was instead engulfed entirely in the cobalt blue flame and disappeared in the warmth of it, teleporting Dipper and himself elsewhere.

The room was silent.

Soos broke the silence after a minute with an awkward laugh; "so… Talk about awkward, am I right?"  
Mabel relaxed with a sigh and turned to the table that the small being had crawled under. Climbing down onto her hands and knees, she peered under it just as her brother had done – but was prepared to block any more surprise attacks from the creature. It was laying on its side pitifully, heaving heavily, each breath it took was accompanied by a pained wheeze. "You poor thing," the girl muttered to herself. She quietly moved the coffee table, choosing not to reach in for the creature in case she hurt it or if it snapped at her hand; once the obstacle was out of the way she got a full look at the pitiful creature that laid on the soft carpet. Its previously fluffy, brown fur was now matted and black, ears twitched reflexively, wings curled in protectively and pupils dilated from the pain, a small puddle of blood had accumulated around its broken back foot and sunk into the carpet, making the different fuzzy strands of material stick together. Mabel gasped at the sight. She wanted to pick it up and cradle it in her arms, to comfort it and try to stop the pain, but she knew it would only make things worse. "It's okay, I'm going to help you," she whispered to it and turned to Soos, "do you have a first aid kit?"  
"We keep it in the bathroom," Abuelita answered her and Soos went to fetch it without a word, seemingly noticing the serious situation for once.  
Mabel took the kit and began working on the cadon's injuries.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

"That idiot of a skin-puppet!" Bill shouted through Dipper's body to no one in particular, he punched the nearest tree, putting his own demonic strength behind the move – the tree toppled over, roots and all, and landed on the tree behind it which creaked from the heavy weight. The loud sound of cracking wood hitting the floor rumbled through their surroundings and caused a flock of birds to fly from the forest to move elsewhere. He sighed and looked around at their surroundings; they were standing at the edge of an incredibly large clearing, it was filled with fresh, uncut grass and plenty of beautiful flowers whose fragrance invaded the human's nostrils, but it was a pleasant smell. In the centre of the clearing was a huge tree, its stump larger than any other they would find in Gravity Falls' forest – the topiary was clearly centuries old but still sprouted plenty of leaves to shield the sun. It was clear that no one had stepped foot here in a very long time. Bill moved the boy into the centre of the vast space and sat him down to lean against the thick trunk of the tree; the boy looked like an ant in comparison to the thick wood. Closing the thirteen-year-old's eyes, he wound a ribbon of magic around the brunet's body and healed the cuts and bruises, not forgetting the fist he'd probably broken whilst punching the tree moments before. The boy had passed out from the pain back at Soos' house and Bill had been forced to take the reins, he'd opted to kill the cadon that had hurt _his_ Pine Tree but was stopped by the kid's sister and instead chose to teleport elsewhere to heal the boy and keep him safe.  
"Pine Tree~" he sang, making sure his voice was void of anger.  
The boy shifted slightly and murmured something incoherent and the demon floated next to the boy to fiddle with his slightly greasy locks of hair; the boy leaned into his touch subconsciously but didn't wake. The demon summoned his magic to pick a single yellow flower, one that he was sure didn't smell nearly as pleasant as the others present, and lifted it to the boy's nose: when the teen breathed in, his eyebrows furrowed and he squinted his eyes open; "augh, what is that smell?"  
The immortal burnt the flower immediately, the warmth of the flame stirring the boy further from his slumber; "nothing," he answered nonchalantly.  
"Where are we?" Dipper looked at his surroundings and was stunned by the sight, eyes wide in fascination.  
"Some clearing, thought you might like it here," the demon half-lied; he'd teleported the duo to the first place he could think of and this just happened to be it; but that didn't matter.  
"It's amazing… what happened with the cadon? I can't remember," he rubbed at his head as if trying to recall the memories.  
"Long story short, the thing jumped on your face and you passed out from the pain. I brought you here to heal y',"  
"Wait, wait. You said before than you can't heal physical injuries."  
"Pine Tree, you wound me; you really think my magic is that limited?"  
"You liar," he pouted jokingly. He knew he should be mad that the demon had refused to help his sister when she was coughing her lungs up that first day, but couldn't stay mad at his demonic companion and he had no idea why; "hold on, did you leave Mabel with that thing?" he started to stand up but was forced back down by the demon's magic.  
"Relax, Pine Tree, Shooting Star already has it sorted. Why don't you just sit here with me for a while and relax instead of chasing monsters all the time?"  
He contemplated the offer for a moment before accepting; he knew his sister could handle herself.

"Remember when you visited in my dream?" Dipper said.  
"Which one?"  
The boy paused; he only knew of the first dream when they'd met. Had the demon been watching his dreams without him knowing? Or did he simply forget like he did with most dreams? "When we first met," he said.  
"Oh, yeah. How could I forget?"  
"Well you mentioned the Dreamscape and the Matterscape, what are they?"  
"That's a big question, Pine Tree. To put it simply, the mindscape is kind of like when you're a ghost except not at all."  
"Wow, helpful."  
"Be quiet while I'm talking," Bill scolded, "anyways, you could think of it as the fourth dimension, you meat-sacks can only see into the third dimension, so things in the mindscape are invisible to you."  
"Then how can we see you?"  
"I'm powerful enough to use my magic and choose who sees me, I can also interact with some things physically," he lifted a few rocks around them into the air to demonstrate.  
"What about the Matterscape?"  
"That's basically your dimension, the things you call physical," the immortal explained.  
"Why do you need a physical body if you can already choose who sees you and can interact with things?"  
"Imagine not being able to feel anything or talk to anyone, you can see but no one can see you. That's what I had to put up with for millennia, kid."  
"Wow," the boy said simply and stayed quiet for another moment. "That sounds horrible."  
"It was, but hey – now I've got you," he stretched an arm to wind around the boy's shoulders and pulled him closer. "And you're going to help me out, I'll finally get out of the mindscape, and once I'm free I can help my friends, too."  
"Friends?"  
"What did you think I don't have any? I've got a bunch, and they're stuck here just like me, but you're the catalyst that's going to help us. Thanks, Pine Tree."  
The last sentence almost sounded sincere instead of jokey for once, and the boy smiled; "how do I get you a physical body exactly…? I'm not going to have to, like, sacrifice organs and virgins and stuff am I? Or kill someone?"  
"Relax, you don't have to do anything like that. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it, for now let's just sit here."  
The boy nodded.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

"Hey Grunkle Stan," he greeted as he walked into the kitchen; the man was stacking cans of meat on a shelf while humming lowly, "where's Mabel?"  
"Kid wanted to go talk to my brother, so she's probably down in the basement," he replied as he put two more cans of meat on a shelf.  
The boy frowned. Why would Mabel want to talk to Great Uncle Ford? She knew it was best to leave him alone when he was working, so what could have been important enough for her to go down there? "Do you know what she wanted to talk to him about?" he asked Stan.  
"Nope, she came back with Soos earlier and went straight down there. She was holding something under her sweater, maybe it's about that?"  
The teen nodded, "thanks, Grunkle Stan."

He made his way to the vending machine quickly and punched in the code. Bill had left him alone just after he was teleported back to the shack not long before; they'd spent a while talking about various things and just sitting in the clearing so there were no protests or other words from the immortal when he made his way down to the basement.  
"Mabel?" he called, "Great Uncle Ford?" He heard rustling papers and hushed voices and his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. As he entered the main room, he saw his sister and Great Uncle fussing something on the table, Dipper realised it was the cadon. "Mabel, I thought you got rid of that thing, why did you bring it here?" he said and the girl looked at him angrily.  
"Because it needed help after what Bill did to it," she stormed over and poked an accusing finger into his chest, "why didn't you stop him? It's your body, stop letting Bill control you!"  
"I didn't, I… passed out and he had to take over," he defended and glanced at the creature on the table, "what did he do? He told me you were taking care of it and it looks fine to me."  
"You," her face reddened slightly in anger as she stuttered, "I can't believe you, I- "  
"Mabel, he doesn't remember," Ford interrupted, "calm down, it's not his fault," he placed a hand on her shoulder.  
She sighed before continuing slower, "you need to break the deal with Bill right now."  
"No, why would I do that? I- _we're_ finally getting to see some mysteries in Gravity Falls thanks to him, I'm not breaking the deal now."  
"Dipper, can't you see what's happening? He's _evil!_ He nearly killed the cadon today," she gestured to the creature on the table which looked slightly bigger than when he'd seen it that morning. "And that day we saw the acheri, I'm pretty sure he was going to kill that too if I didn't drag him away."  
Dipper thought back to that moment when the demon had viciously attacked the girl's spirit.  
"Heck, he gave you a bird's _heart,_ and even had the rest of the organs and body in his pocket or wherever!" she carried on.  
"He- he gave it to me 'cause he thought I would like it, he just doesn't understand- "  
"No, Dipper; you know I'm right! He's evil." The boy thought about it for a moment and his sister spoke again; "just… just this morning he…" he looked up to see tears brimming in her eyes.  
"Mabel?"  
"He threatened to kill me!" tears started to roll down her cheeks at a steady pace and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't stop; she sniffled and wiped her nose on the sleeve of her sweater before she was pulled into a tight hug by her twin.  
"I didn't know, I'm so sorry."  
"Are you going to break the deal with Bill now…?" she sniffed again but got no answer from her brother; "you are, right?" she pulled away and stared at him.  
"I know it sounds bad, but- "  
"Dipper!" she shouted, "I can't believe you!" she ran back up the stairs, still crying.

Dipper only stood there in silence.

"Why won't you break the deal?"  
The boy turned to face Ford; he had forgotten the man was in the room with them because he'd been so quiet.  
"I don't know, I…" he swallowed the thick saliva that had accumulated in his mouth and shrugged before saying, "we made a deal and- "  
"Not that, Dipper. I'm not an idiot, I know that's not the only reason."  
"I…" what could the boy say? How could he explain something that he himself didn't even understand? The demon had threatened his sister, hurt animals, and only Bill knows what else in his lifetime. So why wouldn't he break the deal? "I don't know," he admitted.

Neither person said anything for a minute and the teen took that as his queue to leave. He slowly made his way to his and Mabel's bedroom and stopped just outside the door – he could hear quiet sniffling on the other side. Sighing, he pushed the door open slightly, "Mabel?" he called, "I'm really sorry, I…" he noticed his sister asleep on her bed with Waddles curled up in her arms. Face red and puffy, tear tracks stained her cheeks and her once bright smile was tugged into a firm line and a few strands of hair were stuck to her wet face. Mabel had cried herself to sleep.

"Mabel…" he muttered. He moved forward to tug the covers over her shoulders but was surprised when Waddles squealed loudly, as if warning him not to go near the girl.

He hated himself for making her cry like that, for being so selfish and not breaking the deal, for _making_ the deal in the first place; but he couldn't hate Bill. He could be angry at the demon's horrible actions, but he could never hate him. And he hated it.

* * *

 **I don't even feel bad.**  
 **The cadon was requested by someone of and doesn't have a Wikipedia page (that I know of)**  
 **I'll try to draw the cadon soon, until then; enjoy this chapter alone.**

 **I wanted to get some Soos in there but ended up with barely any. Sorry? I also feel like I should've had more the cadon, but don't worry I plan on it showing up maybe next chapter.**  
 **I don't know if I'm progressing the story too fast... Don't worry, I don't plan on ending it any time soon - Bill and Dipper still need to have loads more of adventures and proclaim their stereotypical undying love for one another.**  
 **Next chapter I plan on doing the unicorn thingy that was also requested. Speaking of which, feel free to request any mystical creatures and monsters and stuff you'd like to have the team deal with ;D**

 **Don't forget to favourite, review, etc, if you liked this chapter :)**


	9. Abada

**Me: Has a bunch of important exams. Writes fanfics instead of revising.  
Anywayss have some Mabel ;)**

* * *

Her eyes cracked open only slightly and she immediately wanted to close them again; the light shining through the triangular window shone on her face, outside birds chirped happily and she could hear her Grunkle Stan's complaining about the clogged toilet to Soos. Despite the bright day outside, she felt terrible. Her face felt puffy and her eyes dry, her mouth was filled with excess saliva and she could feel the dry tears from the night before patterning her skin. Swallowing, Mabel got up slowly and noticed her brother still in bed, asleep; she glanced at the alarm clock and noticed how early it was: nine o'clock. Her brother typically got up at nine thirty or ten and the girl was _not_ in the mood to see him at all that day, so she got down from the bed quietly with her pet pig in arms and put Waddles on the floor gently. He rubbed his snout against her cheek affectionately and she giggled quietly, hugging him tightly before going to find a set of clothes: a baby blue sweater with a brighter blue umbrella sewn onto it; a purple skirt; her favourite pair of white socks with black shoes and her classic baby blue headband, made to match her sweater. Heading to the bathroom with her small companion next to her, she quickly ran a brush through her hair in the mirror and cleaned her teeth before changing into her outfit and throwing the mildly-smelly nightdress into the laundry basket. She closed the toilet-lid and sat down on it to think; what could she do? She didn't want to spend the day at the shack with her brother – although a small part of her knew he'd probably go with Bill if she didn't talk to him – and yet she knew that she'd have to face him eventually. But not yet, she decided. She re-entered her shared bedroom and quickly and quietly packed a few things that she liked to think of as essentials into a backpack: stickers; sweets; colouring pencils; and paper. As she placed the last of her things into the backpack, something warm rubbed against her hand and she lifted her arm to see Waddles nudging his snout against her to get her attention; "I'm sorry, Waddles you can't come," she whispered to him. He looked at her almost pleadingly, nose twitching slightly and head tilted to the side, "don't look at me like that, I know you want to come but you can't. There are still tonnes of scary monsters and evil things that want to eat you and I…" he kept staring at her. "Don't worry, I'll make sure Grunkle Stan takes good care of you, besides I won't be that long," she assured. She zipped up her pack and looked down at the pig one last time. His round eyes looked back into hers. "Oh fine, you can come," she concluded, "but you're staying in my piggy-carrier at all times." She rummaged through the chest at the end of her bed and pulled out the blue baby-carrier she had purchased last year; it was the same one she's bought the day the pterodactyl had kidnapped the poor piglet. Strapping it on, she picked up the pig and fit him into the carrier snuggly.  
She left the room quickly and jogged down the stairs, "Grunkle Stan, I'm going out," she called to said man.  
"The two of you don't want any breakfast first?" he called back and the girl noticed that he thought she was going with her brother.  
"Uh, no thanks I'm not really hungry," she called back. Besides, she had packed at least seventeen packets of Gummy Koalas and various other sweets so she could eat them if she got too hungry.  
"Alright, don't go breaking too many laws, y' hear?"  
"Yup, see y' later!" she called before shutting the door and heading out by herself: no Dipper; no Bill; no Soos or Wendy or anyone else.

It was time for Mabel to create her own adventure.

She headed into the forest quickly, unsettled at how quiet it was – she was used to her and her brother, but mainly her, telling jokes and just chatting but now that she was without human company, the noises from the forest were all the louder. Branches snapped beneath her feet, leaves rustled as she pushed past them, wind blew through the nooks and crannies of every space around her, every sound that she had never paid attention to was now a hundred times louder than before and it was almost deafening. "So Waddles," she started, trying to break the unnerving silence in any way possible – she couldn't deny that it just wasn't the same without Dipper. "What do you think we'll find?" she asked the pig strapped to her chest and he oinked in reply.  
"Maybe a were-wolf or a vampire? Or a were-wolf _fighting_ a vampire? Or a giant three-headed dog like we saw in that film that one time," she pondered and the pig oinked again.  
"You're right, Gravity Falls has way more awesome stuff than that, who knows what we could find?" she paused, "I don't even know where to start looking, do I just look around until I find something? Ugh, Dipper is usually the one who does this sort of junk." She furrowed her brow in annoyance and thought of her brother. _No,_ she had to do this without help from her dumb brother, she should be mad at Dipper for being so selfish. But how long could she really stay mad at her own twin? Shaking the thoughts away, she decided not to think about it. Waddles oinked and she nodded firmly; "Yeah," she said loudly to no one in particular, "This is Mabel-time, there's no way Dipper and that dumb-dumb demon are going to distract me today," she announced so that the entire forest could hear. She strutted off quickly, she had no clue where to, how long she would be searching or even _what_ she was searching for, but she was going to find something, anything.

After walking for ten minutes, her ears picked up on a soft harmony not too far away that sounded like running water; a waterfall, perhaps? She quickly made her way in the direction of the noise and was astounded by the sight that greeted her: a large area of lush, green grass and delicate daisies; the trees curled and arched in a way that seemed to present a beautiful doorway into the magical space and when she stepped in she saw a small waterfall. The water was clear and she could see a variety of bright, colourful fish swimming in it, some jumping from the river briefly, the water dotting wet spots along the grass. A large trail of rocks trailed along the edge of the river almost like a border, and some grew glowing, blue mushrooms that clearly had magical abilities. Hovering above the clear water were small beings that looked like mosquitoes or gnats but when the girl looked closely she could make out miniscule hands and feet, tiny and fragile wings, and a glittery tail of dust following their movements: they were fairies.  
"Whoa," she muttered to herself in amazement. She stepped close to the river quietly so as not to startle the small humanoid creatures, the moment they spotted her, however, they scattered and hid behind various rocks or mushrooms. "Wait, I'm not going to hurt you," she assured them, "this place is amazing, do you live here?" she asked the fairies.  
"Yes, and so do I," said a voice – louder than she anticipated a fairy's would be. It was also deeper; much more boyish and sounded almost like a teenage boy's voice.  
"Who said that?" she asked, her eyes scanning over each individual fairy. The river in front of her rippled suddenly and streams of water lifted from it; they curled around each other beautifully and moved over to hover above the grass, dripping water all over the ground. The streams curled and curved, twisted and danced until they formed a shape; it looked like a horse. The shape solidified and Mabel was stunned at the majestic animal before her: a very pale – almost white – horse stood in front of her, but it was only as tall as a donkey. Its hair was long but not nearly as long as the unicorns the brunette had encountered the year before; maybe only half as long, but still just as beautiful. Its tail, however was just as long as the unicorns' and was the same shade of navy blue as the hair. Hooves were clean and a pristine white, eyes were a sea-foam green and reflected the light of the sun perfectly. Atop its head was not just one but two horns, they started on two sides of the head – just in front of the ears – but pointed toward the centre of its head and twirled together into one long appendage; one horn was white and the other was a baby-blue, the two colours complimented each other perfectly as they swirled together.

"Good day," the creature said.  
Mabel stood up quickly, mouth wide open as she looked at the beautiful being; "whoa, are you a unicorn?" she frowned as she remembered the ones from last year. She hoped this one wasn't as rude or selfish.  
"No, a common misconception but I am an abada. I am like a unicorn, however I have two horns and come from the river, as you have now witnessed, I also have _real_ magic," the creature – the abada – informed the girl.  
"You're not like the unicorns are you? Those guys were jerks," Mabel asked.  
"I like to think not. I don't like them myself, they give us Equidae a bad name."  
"Equidae?"  
"Abada, unicorns, horses, donkeys, zebras… organisms as such."  
"Oh wow, that's amazing."  
The abada hummed his acknowledgement, "my name is Demetrius. What do your kind call you, human?" Demetrius pointed his horns at the teen and they glowed a soft white.  
"My name is Mabel," the girl replied eagerly.  
"Tell me, Mabel- Why do you carry a small beast upon your chest?"  
She laughed, "what? You mean Waddles?" she gestured to the pig who snorted happily, wiggling his stumpy legs slightly.  
"Yes, the Waddles. Why do you carry it?"  
"No, he's a pig but his name is Waddles. He's my pet," she took him from his carrier and held him out to show Demetrius.  
"Waddles the pig? Interesting," Demetrius moved forward slightly to examine the animal, but was surprised when the pig began to wriggle violently, desperately trying to be released from the human's grasp.  
"Whoa, Waddles," Mabel said and tried to place the pig back into the carrier, but he managed to loosen her grip on him and dropped to the floor on his back. He rolled over quickly onto all fours and ran away into the forest instantly; "Waddles, come back!" Mabel called after him.  
"I apologise for disturbing your… pig," the abada said to the girl.  
"Please can you help me get him back?" the girl turned to Demetrius with pleading, teary eyes and the abada agreed instantly. "Thank you so much," the girl said and the duo ran after the pig without a second thought.

"Waddles, where are you?" Mabel called frantically, she couldn't lose the pig now after she'd become so attached to him.  
"Be calm, Mabel. I am sure we will find your pig soon," Demetrius spoke. He was also looking around for the pig, his horn glowing a gentle blue. "I am using my magic to search for any living beings within the area."  
"Thank you so much for helping me, Demetrius," Mabel said as they searched.  
"Of course… Your pig. Waddles, was it?"  
"Yeah, what about him?"  
"He runs rather fast for having such short, stubby legs. I am impressed."  
Mabel giggled quietly at the comment as she lifted an enormous leaf, "yeah I know."  
"Tell me of your culture," he said suddenly.  
"Culture? Well uh…" she looked over the abada in search for differences that she could easily talk about; "we wear clothes."  
"I can see that," he sniffed at a bush before lifting his head again; "what else?"  
"Uh, we don't use magic?"  
"How do you perform your daily necessities without the use of magic?"  
They moved further into the forest to look. "We just use our hands, like making food and brushing our teeth and stuff. What about you, how do you do things with magic?"  
"As abada of the forest, we can only interact with natural things. Such as the river I emerged from and your pig's heat signature."  
"So you can't, like, use your magic to make millions of Gummy Koalas appear? That'd be awesome."  
"What are these Gummy Koalas?"  
"Waddles," the girl shouted again to beckon the pig. "They're koalas that are gummy," she lifted her pack from her back and rummaged through it until she found the packet of sweets. She pulled out the Gummy Koalas and ate one herself before offering one to Demetrius and he took it hesitantly. She zipped up her pack, leaving the sweets out, and put it back on her back and she called out to her pig once more.  
"Astounding, never have I tasted anything so sweet and _chewy_ ," the abada spoke.  
Mabel giggled again before shoving another sweet into her mouth and calling for Waddles again. "Another?" she asked and offered one to Demetrius, he took it and ate it quickly.  
"What other foods do you humans indulge yourselves in?"  
The girl pulled out a piece of chocolate and offered it to him, "chocolate?"  
Demetrius ate it and whinnied; "delightful," he said.  
"Waddles," she called again. "Where could he be? I'm really starting to worry, what if he's been pig-napped, or eaten or worse; cooked into bacon and _then_ eaten?" she panicked, "it would be the worst ironic death ever!" she cried.  
"Calm yourself, Mabel. I can feel a presence in the distance with my magic," Demetrius informed her.  
Mabel gasped, "Where?"  
"It is two presences. Climb onto my back, I shall take us there." The girl did as he told and wrapped her arms around his neck to stay steady; the abada set into a sprint as soon as the girl was comfortable, heading in the direction of the two unknown creatures. Ahead of them was a thick tangle of leaves, blocking their view; "right behind here, Mabel," Demetrius informed her and sped up. He ran horns-first into the thick growth, using the appendage to cut through it swiftly. He skidded to a stop on the other side and Mabel climbed down from his back quickly.

"Waddles," she cried happily once she spotted the pig, but the smile curled into an angry frown as she noticed another being there. A short, humanoid creature only as tall as the pig, itself and it had a knife and fork in hand, looking ready to feast on the animal. "Stupid gnome, leave Waddles alone!" she ran over and pulled the pig into a tight embrace, pushing away the gnome with her foot.  
"Shmebulock!" the gnome exclaimed and dropped the utensils to the floor before scurrying off into the forest.  
"Oh Waddles, you had me worried sick," Mabel cooed and rubbed her cheek against the pig's head; he oinked in response. "Thank God," she said.  
"It is good to see that Waddles the pig has remained unharmed," Demetrius said, trotting over to the girl.  
"Thank you so much," Mabel grinned at the abada as she placed Waddles back in his carrier carefully, "how can I thank you?"  
"I don't typically ask for things in return but… perhaps I could have more of your human treats?" Demetrius asked sheepishly.  
The girl laughed and held out the bag to him, "of course. I think it's time me and Waddles go home now," she grinned and placed the bag of sweets onto the floor.  
"Of course. It was a pleasure meeting you, Mabel. And you, Waddles the pig."  
"Bye," Mabel said and started heading back to the shack, waving the pig's arm to Demetrius, as well.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Opening the door to the shack, she hummed lightly as she walked through the gift shop. There were only a few customers that day so the brunette could greet the red-head behind the register without interrupting a customer's payment. "Hey Wendy," Mabel greeted.  
"Whoa, someone's in a good mood. Good thing, too, 'cause your brother isn't exactly happy today."  
"What, why not?" she frowned at the thought.  
Wendy shrugged; "don't know. He was out for a few hours this morning but he came back a while ago and didn't say a word, just went and started watching TV."  
"Oh," Mabel said. The adventuring was what she'd expected – yet it hurt her heart slightly that he'd go out to find monsters with Bill rather than try to confront her. She hoped he'd at least want to talk to her about the issue, but no. What surprised her was that he'd come back silent; usually he came back from his monster hunts happier than ever unless he couldn't find anything. But he was with Bill, right? So he had to have seen something.  
"Why don't you go talk to him? I bet he could use someone to talk to right now," Wendy suggested.  
Mabel nodded and walked toward the living room before standing in the doorway, watching her brother intently as he stared at the TV. She removed her carrier and placed Waddles on the floor; he sat at her feet.  
"Dipper?" she said softly and he turned his head to face her. The words flooded from his mouth all at once;  
"Mabel, I'm so sorry. I know I'm being selfish and I should have broken the deal with Bill, I shouldn't have made it in the first place but I don't know why, I just can't, I- "  
"It's fine," she interrupted him.  
"W-what?" he stammered, standing up.  
"I'm pretty sure you're the only guy that could ever _like_ Bill, Dipper," she said, "and I don't know how you could. But I guess if you're happy when you're with him then I'll put up with it, it's not like he'd ever hurt you, right?"  
Dipper smiled sincerely and nodded, "yeah. Thanks Mabel."  
"Besides, it's so funny watching you get all flustered because you're in _love~_ " she drawled out the last word tauntingly.  
His face heated up, "no, I'm not- don't ruin the moment, Mabel."  
She laughed before opening her arms, "awkward sibling hug?"  
"Awkward sibling hug," Dipper agreed and opened his own arms. However, as he moved to hug his sister, Waddles snorted and squealed loudly at their feet, startling them both. The pig stood between the duo, watching Dipper almost warningly. "What's wrong with him? He's never done this before."  
"I don't know," Mabel admitted, she picked up the pig and hugged him close.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

That night, in bed, Mabel couldn't help but think over that moment. She had lied to her brother. Of course she didn't want him associated with the demon, she _hated_ it, hated the danger he was in. She wanted to yell at him for making such a stupid choice, for not changing his mind. But she wouldn't, she didn't want to grow apart from her own twin. She knew that confronting him would only open a rift between them, and that was something she knew she wouldn't be able to handle if it ever happened. The demon must have been tampering with her brother's mind – surely he would never keep the deal intact of his own free will once he'd found out about all the horrible things the demon had done. She would have to get rid of Bill somehow, whether her brother liked it or not.

* * *

 **Abada on Wikipedia: wiki/Abada_(unicorn)  
** **(It's a very short page...)  
Cadon drawing (from previous chapter): ****art/Cadon-597371381**

 **The abada was requested by someone of . Feel free to request your own stuff, whether it's a myth or something you yourself made up. Next chapter; Dipper and Bill's adventure while Mabel was off with an abada.**

 **Thanks for reading, please leave kudos, reviews, etc if you liked this chapter ;)**

 **Also, just note: If you request something then I'll probably mix it up a bit like I did with the abada in this chapter and a few other things in previous chapters. If you want me to stick to a certain set of abilities, appearances (etc) when I write for a creature you've requested, please say so. Otherwise I'm gonna add extra bits and pieces just for plot.**


	10. Siren

**Demetrius the Abada from the previous chapter bad annotation: art/Abada-597647277**

 **Here's what Dipper got up to with Bill while Mabel was out with our two-horned unicorn in the last chapter; enjoy!**

* * *

Light trickled in through the window and bathed the room in a soft, orange glow that welcomed Dipper to the waking world. He rolled over and released a satisfied hum – he'd slept surprisingly well considering the events of the previous day and he felt refreshed. Cracking his eyes open, he noticed his sister's absence from her bed, odd since he was nearly always the first to wake up unless it was a special occasion like their birthday or Christmas. He looked at the clock and saw that it was only nine thirty-seven, the usual time he woke up. 'Maybe she's still upset about yesterday,' he thought, 'I should go talk to her.'  
He sat up and got out of bed, he grabbed his hat and put it on before heading downstairs in his pyjamas, halfway down the stairs, he called his sister; "Mabel?" but he got no answer. "Mabel, don't give me the silent treatment, I just want to talk," he called out as his feet touched the floor.  
"Dipper?" Stan's head popped out of the kitchen to look at him, "I thought you went out with your sister?"  
"No? Where did she go?" he walked into the kitchen and was greeted by the sweet smell of pancake batter.  
His Great Uncle shrugged; "kid just said she'd going out, didn't say where. I thought you were with her." Dipper shook his head silently. Where would his twin have gone? "While you're here, do you want any pancakes?" Stan asked and the teen agreed.  
"Could you go get my brother? He didn't eat anything again last night and I'm sick of calling him," Stan said as he sat down and put three plates of pancakes at the table.  
"Uh, couldn't… you go get him?" Dipper pleaded. He still didn't want to talk to Ford yet and would be happy if he didn't for a long time.  
"Kid, I just cooked the food you're eating; give me a break and go get 'im."  
The boy sighed and stood up, heading down to the basement to fetch his Great Uncle Ford. "Great Uncle Ford," he called in an irritated tone as he walked down the stairs and sighed again. He heard a chair falling over abruptly from down the stairs and a frantic shuffling of papers and closing drawers. "Great Uncle Ford?" he called again, more curiously this time. What was the man doing that he'd hide from the boy? There was a loud creak and a screech that indicated the man was moving something heavy; a table or a shelf.

As he entered the main room of the basement, he saw Ford leaning slightly on his desk, red faced and slightly out of breath. It couldn't be easy moving heavy objects at his age. "What were you doing?" Dipper asked warily.  
"Nothing. Why are you down here?" Ford asked.  
"Was you moving your desk? Or a shelf?" Dipper ignored the man's question and glanced around the room.  
"Yes, I just fancied a, uh, change of scenery."  
"Why didn't you just go outside?"  
"I'm a busy man."  
"Really? So what exactly were you moving 'cause it doesn't look like anything has been moved in here."  
"Why did you come down here?" Ford dodged the question.  
Dipper pondered on whether or not he should ask again, but decided against it after a moment: "Grunkle Stan wanted me to come get you for breakfast."  
"I'm not hungry."  
"Fine, whatever. Just thought I'd tell you," the boy glanced around the room again and noticed a small, black ball curled up on a piece of newspaper. "Is that the cadon?" He asked and stepped toward it slightly.  
"Yes, I've been keeping it here while it recovers," Ford said, and the unspoken words hung in the air: 'from what you did.' The teen stepped toward it to see its condition, and the creature popped its eyes open to look at him and lifted its head. The boy reached down cautiously but it hissed at him. "It can sense Cipher's presence. That's probably why it attacked you at Soos' house, I wouldn't be surprised if other animals were just as hostile toward you just because of your deal," Ford informed him. When Dipper thought about it, Waddles and Gompers had run away whenever they saw the boy or tried their best to avoid him. He said nothing and stuffed his hands in his shorts' pockets before heading back upstairs.

"Where is that nerd?" Stan asked as Dipper walked back into the kitchen.  
"He said he's not hungry," the boy repeated and kept eating his pancakes.  
"Of course he'd say that," the man grumbled, "why didn't you go with your sister?"  
"She left before I was awake."  
"What, did you two fight over something again?"  
"Kind of."  
"You wanna talk about it?"  
Dipper was surprised by the question and looked at the man opposite of him who looked sincere in his question. He sighed and spoke: "she was telling you about Bill the other day, right?"  
"The demon? Yeah."  
"She's upset 'cause I made a deal with him and now I won't break it off. She thinks Bill is evil and that he would hurt us and..." he trailed off and looked at his food, pushing it around his plate with his fork.  
"Want some advice from an old man?" Dipper looked at him and he continued: "don't worry about it. She's your sister, she's going to worry. And heck, I don't like the idea of my nephew hanging out with a demon, but a man can choose what he does. But hey, if Bill does mess with our family, he's got it coming from all of us, and I know you won't hesitate to do the right thing, kid."  
Dipper smiled. "Thanks Grunkle Stan," he said sincerely.  
"No problem. Anyways I gotta go run the gift shop, see y' later, kid." And with that, he got up and left the boy alone.  
The boy smiled and finished his breakfast; just as he stood up a familiar voice came from behind him: "Morning, Pine Tree."  
He turned to face Bill and wasn't quite sure what to say, so he stood and stared at the demon for a full minute before deciding on something: "what did you say to Mabel yesterday?" He knew the truth, his own sister had told him and he believed her, but he wanted to know if his demonic companion would lie to him.  
"What are you talking about, kid? I didn't say anything to Shooting Star that you didn't hear," he lied.  
"Yes, you did. Why are you lying when you know that I know the truth?" Bill said nothing, so he spoke instead: "you threatened to kill her, why?"  
"Is that what she told you? Kid, why would I ever need to kill Shooting Star? I only kill people who get in my way, and she's not… yet," he mumbled the last word so quietly that the human didn't hear.  
"Stop lying, I know you are so stop trying to deny it. What do you have against Mabel?" he was getting frustrated with the demon now and his voice rose in volume slightly.  
"Pine Tree, I think you need to calm a bit," he floated over to the boy and rested an arm on the brunet's head. "Now," he said, "listen to me," he tapped on Dipper's head a single time and something seemed to click in his brain, causing the anger to quickly fade away into a more tranquil feeling. "You're going to calm down and _we_ ," he tapped again, "are going to go find something new to mess with," and again. "Alright?" and once more. He floated away to look into Dipper's eyes, and the boy found himself readily agreeing to what the immortal had proposed; he felt as though he should be angry, fuming, _furious,_ with Bill. But he wasn't. "Alright," Dipper said.  
"Great," Bill clapped his hands together; "oh yeah, I have something for you. I know that last time you didn't want the dodo heart so I found out that you humans apparently like _flowers_. I don't know why, but… meh. Here you go," he clicked his fingers and a small, black vortex opened above the boy. From the void dropped a cluster of red flowers and the vortex closed as they dropped. They were tied together with something like a dark brownish black rope, but much softer. Dipper caught them and found a small heart shaped – a real heart, not a cartoon one – piece of card taped to it that read 'Pine Tree.'  
"You got me roses?" the boy asked incredulously; who could have thought that Bill could get him anything remotely normal? He ran his fingers along the soft string tying them together as he inspected them.  
"What? No, you really think I'm that boring and un-original? That red colour is the blood from the ogre I had to kill to get them. And you see that string tying them together? That's not even string, it's ogre hair!" just as the demon finished that sentence, the petals of the bud curled open elegantly, however it revealed the not-as-elegant inside: instead of the beautifully bright stigma one would expect from a flower, there was a single eye staring at the boy from each flower. They blinked at him all at once and he dropped the flowers in shock, screaming at the disturbing sight.  
"What the heck, Bill?!" he exclaimed, "where do you keep getting this stuff?!"  
"What, you don't want these either? It was hard enough travelling through time for that dodo heart but travelling to the 13th dimension wasn't any easier; do you have any idea how much energy it takes? You should show more gratitude when someone gives you a gift."  
"It's not like I asked you to get me this stuff, and even if I did why couldn't you just get me normal things?"  
"Well what sort of things do you like?"  
"I don't know, anything except organs or weird flowers," the boy said.  
"Sheesh, fine," he snapped his fingers and the strange flowers burnt away in a blue flame; an odd smell was released as they burnt and Dipper had to pinch his nostrils to guard his nose from the stench. "So, are you ready to go?"  
"Go where?" the teen asked, his voice nasally from having his nose pinched.  
"Where do y' think, Pine Tree? We're gonna go find a monster."  
"Oh, uh, no thanks. I really need to find Mabel and talk to her."  
"Kid, you can do that later, just come with me right now."  
He shook his head, "I really need to apologise to her."  
"For what?"  
"For…" he thought for moment, but couldn't quite remember why he wanted to apologise. He wracked his mind for a moment and the demon waited patiently as if for a specific answer. "Oh yeah, for the deal," he finally remembered and spouted the words without a second thought. He went over the words again in his mind. Why did he have to apologise for that? Mabel was the one who couldn't handle the deal that he made; like Stan had said, he was his own man and could make his own choices: he didn't need his sister trying to keep him safe. ' _But still,'_ a small voice of reason said in the back of his head, ' _she's trying to keep me safe. I should be thankful; I should apologise for making her so upset.'  
_ "Why should you apologise for the deal? It's your choice, not hers," Bill interrupted his thoughts and he wasn't sure if he should feel the same way or not.  
"Just give me some time to think about it. We can go monster hunting in the meantime, right?"  
"Course we can, we're going somewhere a bit different today."  
"Really, where?"  
"You'll see, now go get dressed so we can go."

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

He looked at his surroundings as the flames died away quickly to see that they were on a familiar island. Large rocks and tall pine trees were scattered around the island and nailed to one of the largest trees was a big wooden board: "Scuttlebutt island," Dipper read out.  
"Heh, Pine Tree, check it out," Bill appeared in front of the sign and covered up the first half of it with his triangular body; "Butt island," he laughed.  
"It wasn't funny the first time, Bill," the boy replied, "so, uh, why are we here?" he asked.  
"Sirens," the demon said simply, floating toward him and away from the sign.  
"Sirens? Is that what we're here to see?"  
"Bingo! There weren't any in the forest, so I bought you here to find them," Bill said, "quick word of warning: don't listen to anything to anything they say. They'll just try to flirt with you and then kill you when you least expect it."  
Dipper pulled out his journal and opened it to a clean double page, quickly scribbling down the notes; "where are they right now? I don't see any around," he glanced up from the journal to scan the area.  
"Hey there, little boy. Why are you all alone, talking to yourself?" a light voice spoke from behind him and he turned around; "wouldn't you rather talk to me?"

Sitting on the edge of the shore, her waist down below water and her arms resting on the grass, was a woman. She owned a slender frame and pale, porcelain skin that had not a single blemish on it. Blonde, wet hair curled down to her stomach and over her chest, wide blue eyes looked at him directly and red lips curled into a flirtatious smile. Behind her was a beautiful, green tail that swayed gently in the water.

"Oh, uh, hey…" Dipper said as he looked her over, "who are you?"  
She giggled lightly and started drawing patterns in the grass with slender fingers; "My name is Asherah, and I guess you could call me a mermaid. What's your name?"  
"Oh, cool, my name is Dipper," the boy said nonchalantly. Perhaps if she was willing to talk to him – until she planned to kill him – he could ask her some questions; "could I ask you a few questions?"  
"You can ask me anything," she winked at him. He sat down on the grass near her – not within arm's reach of her – and put the journal in his lap, ready to write. "Oh, are you gonna draw a picture of me? How nice," she giggled.  
"Uh sure," he started sketching a quick picture of the siren on the left page.  
"You're so good at drawing, are you an artist?" she said and he knew she was lying to gain his trust.  
"No," he said simply. He didn't title his page on the mermaid-like creature just yet in case she saw him and tried to attack him for his knowledge of her kind. "So," he said as he finished the sketch, "what can mermaids do? Do you have magic, or…?" he trailed off expectantly.  
"No magic, sadly. I wish we did though, the things I could do…" she sighed lightly.  
"She's lying," Bill interrupted, "they do have magic and I'm betting she's going to use it pretty soon if you're patient. Don't get too close, Pine Tree."  
"Ok," he said to the demon but could easily pretend he was talking to Asherah, "how exactly do you breathe? I mean, clearly you're fine in and out of water, but how does that work?"  
"We have lungs and gills and the ability to choose which we use depending on where we are. Lungs in air, gills in water."  
"Where are your gills?" he scanned the area of and around her face in search for any fish-like features as such, but found nothing.  
She pulled back her hair to reveal what looked like fins in place of – or perhaps in front of – her ears. She wiggled them for show.  
"Can you hear through those?" he furrowed his eyebrows and she giggled;  
"Of course not, silly," she turned her head to reveal a pair of human ears hiding behind the fins.  
He hummed in thought after he jotted down the notes, "what… what do you _eat?_ "  
She hummed in thought, too. Perhaps thinking of a believable lie? "Seaweed and sand," she then said.  
"Sand?" he laughed, "how does that work?"  
"We have very strong stomachs and there is limited food in the sea," she explained.  
"Lies, they don't eat seaweed or sand. They eat humans or when there isn't anyone around for them to eat, they kill and eat each other," Bill said and a shiver ran down the boy's spine at the thought. He scooted back unconsciously and thanked that Asherah couldn't see or hear the demon.  
"Can you come out of the water at all? Or does your tail restrict you?"  
"We're restricted to oceans, sadly. If only I could walk, I'd love to come over right now and sit next to you, to touch you. It's been so long since I've made contact with a human," she said.  
"Nope, they can easily get out and move around on land. It's pretty funny to watch, but you'd probably find it pretty freaky to have a bunch of sirens chasing you. Also, she ate some poor sap just yesterday, so it hasn't been too long," Bill said.  
Dipper had to hold in a laugh at the thought of legless women with tails trying to hop around on the shore to eat him, how scary could they be?  
"Just wait, Pine Tree. If you're lucky, she'll climb out and start chasing you with her friends."  
"What about hobbies? What do mermaids do for fun down in the ocean?" Dipper asked.  
"We like to sing," a grin lit up her face, "do you want to hear?"  
"Say no," Bill instructed firmly. Dipper wasn't oblivious to the legends of sirens; he knew that they were well known for their songs, songs that distracted men and caused them to shipwreck, songs that lured men closer and closer, songs that beckoned men to talk to them until _snap._ The sirens always killed the men.  
"Uh, no thanks. I'm not a big music lover," he made up an excuse.  
"Oh, come on. Just one song?" she pleaded.

Without his consent, she opened her mouth and started to sing and Dipper couldn't deny that her voice sounded like an angel's. He found his mind quickly becoming foggy, and he wanted to get closer to Asherah, to hear her voice more and for it to never stop and before he knew it, he was climbing to hit feet and slowly stepping closer to the girl. In that moment, he couldn't care what happened or if he died, he only wanted to listen to that angelic singing forever. He was snapped back to reality, however, when his feet stopped suddenly and his body numbed.  
' _Thanks, Bill'_ he thought, knowing that it was the demon that had stopped him from nearing the siren. The girl in front of him, however, seemed frustrated at his sudden stop and started to sing louder, her jaw stretching open so far that it looked like it might snap.  
' _Looks like things are gonna get interesting, Pine Tree. Prepare to get chased by legless women,'_ his laugh resounded in the boy's head and he felt the urge to laugh, too. So he did, loud enough that Asherah could hear.

"Dipper, do you dislike my s̵o͟n͝g?" she asked innocently. "Do you think my s̷̵ò̵n̕͝g̢̀ is f̨̌ͤ̽͡u͑̇̐̈́̀͏҉n̢̨͛̒nͮͪy̓͌̀̚͞?̨̓ͤ" Her voice distorted and sent a chill down the boy's spine. "D̞̯̝̉̃͐ͦo͓̜͙̬̣͔ͤͅ ̟̳̗͎͈͉̼͎̾͛̂̂ͬ̑͑ͪy͙̫̞͖͖͕̯̲̣̎͆̾ͥ́̋o͇̜͉̦̱̰̺̠͖͗̿ͥͥͮͭ͛u̘̝ͮ̀̑̒ͅ?͖̜̬̠͎͓͍ͨ̉"

' _Better start running, Pine Tree,'_ Bill thought to him but the boy couldn't move. Not because the demon prevented him from doing so, but because he was stuck staring at Asherah in morbid fascination.

The siren climbed out of the water easily, lifting herself up by two hands and clawing at the grass to pull herself onto the shore. As soon as her body was laying on the grass, it started to deform: her arms grew impossibly longer, the skin over the ligaments stretching and the bones beneath the flesh cracking loudly as they twisted in ways no humanoid bones should. Her waist also thinned out, showing her rib cage that threatened to tear through the skin and poke out, her spine bulged grotesquely and deformed, cracking and splitting unnaturally. The once majestic tail shed its smooth, bright scales and beneath was marred, bruised, scarred and white skin - if it could be called skin; it was bloodied and didn't look remotely fish _or_ human-like in anyway, it appeared to just be a white, useless, bloodied stump. Her blonde hair didn't change but was quickly drenched in blood that poured from her face. Lifting her head to look at Dipper, she allowed the two to peer at her face briefly: her face had hollowed out and looked deathly thin, her her eyes sunk into her face but remained their blue colour, however blood poured from various cuts and wounds on her white skin. "Ḓ̡̰͖̗̱̱̱̰̝̟͚̫̹̭̅ͯͩ̈́̊̇͌̈͘͠͞ͅį̧̰͉̲͔̟͇̞͍̠̭͇̒̏͋̒ͪ̄ͦͦ̒̃́̓ͩ̃ͩ̎̃́̚pͤͧ̄͑̽̈́͐̒͟҉̡̡͓̜̩͉̗̞̗͕̩p͐͐ͦ͗̃̂͒̔͏̷̧̨̪͎͕͇͓̹̹̮̳̜ͅͅe̛̠̮̠̪͈̦͖͉̼͔̗̖̘̫͇̣̓ͫ̓̽́͟͝r̵̸̹̙͙͓̫̱͔̬̙̣̟͔̳͌͋̌̊͗̏͋̿̎̎ͪ̌̂ͯ͂̓́̓̚͢͞ , d͉̻̗̞̘̭̮ͭͧ̅ŏ͓̩͕͝n̲̝̼͍̜͐̇͛̇͜'̷̓ͥ̿͐̑̐̏t̷ ̬͙̜͔ý̷̗͔̹͖̭̣͚̔ͬͬo͂͑͐͂ͨ̋͏̞̜̙ͅu̘̦͕̖̯̝ͣͬ̓ͤͤ͋͑ͅ ͕̰̼̬̗̙̀̓͋͗̓̀ḻ͚͎̠͂ͦͯ̎͝î̊̋͆҉̳̥̘̼̲̣͖k͖̱͎̈́͑ͪ͝e̶̹̜̖̦͇͗ͯ ̸̼̦͊̈́͆͒͛̃̋m͕̟̼͈̩͂ͭ͌ͧͭͯͧy̫͍̯̖̭͚̍̅ͤ͗̑̚ ̙͇̳͈͑͂̋͛̂̆ͦ͜s̓̃̏ͨ̀ͪo̧̱͖̳̹̿n̝̖͢g̨͕̞̺̓̾?̷̜̙̬" she asked, her voice nightmarish and nothing like the beautiful melody it had been before. She moved her twisted arms forward and dug her claw-like fingers into the ground, pulling herself along by the bony appendages.  
"Nope, I think I'm gonna go now, bye," Dipper laughed nervously and turned to run.

"D̨͉̥ͬ̚iͩͭ͌̑͏̣̳̙͔ͅp̟͎͍͓͜p͇̫̠̾͝ͅe̷͍̩͇͔̖̳̗͗ͩr̭̮͔̲̃ͤ͊͋̃͢!ͫ̍͗̏ͮͦ͜" she shouted after him and clawed her way along the floor, chasing him.  
He sprinted away from Asherah as fast as he could, desperate to get away and begging his mind to let him forget the horrific scene he'd just witnessed. ' _Not as funny as it sounded, right, Pine Tree?'_ Bill thought in his head.  
' _Now is not the time! Can't you teleport me away from here or something?'_ He shouted back in his head.  
' _Of course I can. I just don't want to.'  
'What?! Why?! I am clearly in danger right now and I really don't want to be here with that thing!'  
'Meh, it's more fun to watch you get chased around an island by a bunch of sirens.'  
'Gee thanks! And last I check there was only one siren.'  
'Might wanna check again, kid.'  
_Dipper looked behind him and saw not only Asherah but two other deformed creatures chasing after him, _"_ Oh come on! This isn't fair!" he shouted aloud.  
"D̨͉̥ͬ̚iͩͭ͌̑͏̣̳̙͔ͅp̟͎͍͓͜p͇̫̠̾͝ͅe̷͍̩͇͔̖̳̗͗ͩr̭̮͔̲̃ͤ͊͋̃͢!ͫ̍͗̏ͮͦ͜" A̴̕͡s̸͞h̸͜er̕͠ah͟͡ called after him̵̨͢.

He made a swift turn around͘͠ a corner and headed through a path that was vo̷iḑ̴̨ of trees and looked behind͘͠ him again. The sirens were unsurprisingly s̸low so the boy jumped behind a nearby tree and started to r͋͟u͊͂̍͐̅̂̅͟n into the forest, h͞op̀in̛g to lose them. ' _Why isn't their song affecting me? Are you using magic or something?'_ he asked in his mi̴nd͠.  
 _'Course I am, no human brain can resist a siren song so I had to use magic to make sure you don't hear it.'_ Bill answered.  
"Dipper," called a sweet voice - Asherah, "Where are y̨̛͟͠͠o̷͡u̸̕?"  
"Can you teleport me back now?" Dipper spoke in hushed, a̸n̢g̨r͟y whispers.  
"Nope," B̶̶̢͞ì̴̛l̨̀ļ͝ spoke through him and popped the 'p'.  
"Ugh, fine then how can I kill it?" he whispered and peered around the tree to search for the s̴͡i̴͜r҉e̕ǹ̴s̴͟. He saw Asherah by herself, searching around the area.  
"You could always chop̶ off its head, that'd work."  
"Any _other_ way I can k͘il͜l it? Preferably less v̢i̛olent ͢a̴n͞d͟ ̢b͞l̛oody҉..."  
"Nope," Bill said cheerily and the word cau̸ǵht the attention of the siren nearby.  
"D͘͡͏i̷͟҉̕͜p̷͜͟p͘͏̕ę́̀̕r҉̵̨͞," she called and turned to him.  
"Bill, are you sure there's no other way?" he asked and his b̢l͞ooḑ ran cold when Asherah began c͘l̛͟a͘͜w̴̵i͟n͢g͝ her way toward him.  
"Nope, sorry kid. But hey, I can do it for you if you like! Been a while since I've killed anything," Bill offered, far too ć͞͏h̵͘͟e͜͢eŗy͠ for the subject.  
"Fine, fine just hurry up!" Dipper was glued in place by his f̷͢͢e̸̕͢a̸͝r̀͘͝ of the siren while she moved toward him. Just as she reached him and reached up a fi͝lt͘h̵y, b͟loo͜d̸iȩd ҉han̷d̶̷̑̂͗͊̽ͣ̌̋ͬͣ҉̡́ to c̶l̶̨҉aw̛͝ at his f̵̷͡l̴̸͡ȩ̵̕s̕h̨̀͞, the creature was k̨nòck͏̴e̸̡̧d back a̸̕͜b͟r̶̛̀ù̢p̵͝tl̷̕y͝. The boy's hand was c̴͜l̀e̷ǹc͢͜͡h͠͠ed͟ in a t̴i͝͝ģh̡͡t̴͝͝ ̢́f͟͞i̶̶͢s̕͝͠t̀ and engulfed in a bright, blue f̛́́l͢à̸͠m̷̨͝e͢͟͞. B͌̒ĭ͒̏͐̑l͌͗̂̔l̋͌̓̈́͂ͣ̚ moved the boy's body forward toward the M̢҉̸͢͝o̷҉͏ń̨́͘S̸̨̕͢͞T̶̷̨̨̡e̛͢͢͝R̛͠͠ and knelt down besides its hͦ͐͆͑͒̿̏̇Í̛Ḑ̷̢̛͜ė̃̋ͯ̐ͧ̽̔ͬͨo̿̿͐ͫ͒̔ͫ͗̃̍ͦ̐̿Ủ͑̏͒̾̏̏̉̇ͥ̓̎̑̓̎͂ͫ̌ͧs̋ͤ̽̽ͩ̄͊ͤͬ͆͊ͭ̊̒ͣ́͂ͮ ̀ͤ̍ͫ̇ͦͪ̒fͬ͋̆̍̄Ơ҉r̾͌ͩ͐̏̔͆̉̊̒ͭ̅͌mͨ̃̊͒ͬͪ̿̾̾̅͆̅̑ͪ; he studied its g̴Ŗ̸O̶ţ̨̕e͟śQ̷͞U̧͞e̸͜҉ facial features as it moved to claw at him, but he simply grabbed a hold of its hands to s̛͜to͏P̸̷̛ them from m̢͂͒̃͂̉͋̎͆͆͝҉̨ǫ̡̿̈́ͭ̒ͤ̀͢V̴̴ͫ̊̉̈̓ͤ͊ͮͨ̌́͌ͯ̆͞͡҉i̵͋̔͌̇̅̾̏ͭ̋ͫ͂ͩͩ̊ͩͮ̅͗̚͏n̵̛ͭ̊ͬ͐̿ͩ̒́̌ͬ̈́̃̀̕̕͟G̍̈̂͐̾ͨ̅͛͋ͧ̓̈́̈̓̈́͏̶. Suddenly, Bill s̢͝n̢͘a̛̕͡͡p̵̸̨͠Ṕ̧͢͞͠ȩ̶ḑ̧͏ the arms back at the e͢l̸b͞o͢w҉ ̸jo̢in͟t, pulling an é̕͠A̡̡r̸-͝͞pi̧e̴͝r̴͘c̸I̸͡n̵̛ǵ͏ S̡͞C҉̛R̵͏̸E҉̧́͢͝E̛͏̴͘C̸҉̛H̡͠ ̵͠ from its r̡a̕w̴͞ throat and Dipper wanted to c̡̨͞r͡i̡̕͞n͜͞G͘e̵͘͝ at the l̵ou͜͠d̵͏ sound. ' _What are you doing? You were meant to decapitate it, quick and painless - not torture it!'_ he shouted in his head at the demon.  
The D҉̢͡͡e̵m̸̸̧͜͞O̵̶̷̷ǹ̢͝ laughed aloud before replying: "Kid, I'm just making it easier. If I didn't do this, that monster would still be fighting and trying to eat your kidney right now. You don't want that do you?"  
"N-no, but-"  
"Exactly, so just let me handle it," B͟҉̡̢̢į̛l̷ļ̵̛͏̡ said.

He didn't give the boy time to a͏́͘͏r̀͠g̨ù̷̡̡̧ę̵̕͜ as he clicked his fingers; the si̵r̸e̷̕n͟͞͝'̸̸s̛ ͘h̶̀ea͞d̶ seemed to b͜ừ̕l̢͢g̵e̷ à҉n̸̴̴d̵̷ d̢̛͠e͡f̧o͘ŕ̛m̡͢͏ ̶̢e͜v͏͟͜e͝n̸ ̢m̴̕ó̧͟r̛͜e̛. The im̵m͟ort̷a͜l̴ ́gr̸i̢n̵ǹed̀ sͣͣ̆̑͊ͪ̈́̅ͯ̃ͥͥͭͯ͑aͪ̔̐ͯͦ̇ͦdͭ̂̓ͤͭ̓̓ͩ̒i͑ͭͬ̿ͥ͂ͭ̑̋͒̌ͨ͛̚Ş̸̸̢̪̟̖̬̼͎̞̫̤̮̗̝̟̠̳̙̱̘͔t̑̂̽͋ͤͮí̂͂ͥͣͦ̍̃ͬ̾ͤ̑̒̏̚cͪ̑ͨ̈ͦͥ̊̐͗̂ͣ͐͋a͒̊͗͂̂͑̊̑͆͋̿ͯ͐̉̇̚ ̶̹͇͖̠͢Ļ̵̱̥̯͕̝͖͎̳̲̝͢lͣ́͆̔̔ȳ̊̄̑̈̉ͭ ͮ̑̈̌and moved the boy's body back cautiously.  
' _What's happening, what did you do?'_ Dipper thought.  
"You'll see," the demon l͠a͠ug͡͏͢h҉͝e͏̧d́̕ again.  
As the s̕ki̸ņ̸̕ morphed and s͢h̸i̴f̡̀t͏̷ȩ̴d͜ ͡h́͘ó̧r̨͜r͜͡i̶͏b̷̡l̵͞y̵̵͢, the duo watched in m̷̨͠o͏̶́͞͠r͜͏̴̛b́̕͝͡i̶͠͏̕͠d̢͢͝ fascination. What Dipper didn't expect was what happened next: the s̵̡͟͝k̵͜҉͟u̷l̷̢̧͜ļ͢ and b̨͞Ŕ͠ái̶Ņ̷ e͘̕X̡́p̷̨l̕o҉̷̶D̷͞E͟d̶͠. B͜l̡o͞od,̀ b̵r҉ains,̴ bodi͝ly̵ fl͠u̵i҉ds a͟nd ͏o̵the̷r̛ v̢i̶s͢c҉era ̕s̡pla̶tt̀er̕e̶d͘ ov̶er ̀his͝ ̸bod̸y̶ ́şud͜d̴en̕ly҉.̨ I̢t ̴w͘a̴s̸ all͡ the b͟o̧y̴ c̸oul͠d͞ do ͘to͟ ͜stay̵ s̴tąnding̵, a͞ g͠ri͟n ̨l̵it u͏p҉ his f̢ac̢e, ͞bu͢t͘ ̨it wąs̀n't́ his ͠ow̢n.҉

̨̢̕ ̴̡͘ ̀͘ ҉̸̡͞ ̛́̀ ̸̶̧̡͠ ̷̴̵̢ ̨͡͞͝͡ ̸͟͝͠͡ ҉̵̸̕͡ ̧͜ ̛͘͝ ̶̢̧ ̸̕ ͠ ̛͢͜ ̢̕ ̀́ ̡͠ ̷̕̕ ̸̷̢́ ̸̵́͠ ̴҉̶͜ ̶ ҉̧ ̛͜͏ ̕ ́҉͟͝ ̷̶͜ ̸͡ ̢̛͘͘ ̸̢͢͟ ̢̨̛́ ̷̸̨ ̴̴̵ ́̕͢͢͝ ̵́̕ ͏̶̀ ̀͢͠ ̛͟ ͟͞ ̴ ̡́͜͟͜ ̴̷̧̕ ҉́ ́́͟ ̶̨̕͏҉ ̴̡́ ̸̢́҉ ̶̡̛́͘ ̴̵͞ ̢̛ ̛͟҉̷ ̶̧̀͢ ̢̀́͞ ̵̛͢ ̡̀́͟͝ ̶ ̴̴̨͡͡ ̵̸́͠ ͟҉̧͠ ̶̸ ̸̵̧͜ ̨ ̕͏ ̵͢͝ ̶ ͟͟͢ ̧̕͞ ̸̀͝͡ ̶͝͞͠ ̸̀̕͜͠ ̶̡̕̕͞ ̵̵̧ ̴̴̷̡̛ ̶̸ ͏̸̨̢͜ ̵ ͜͜͝҉ ̸͢ ͠ ̕̕͡ ̡́ ̵̕ ̶̵̀͡ ̡͘͡͠ ̶҉̨͘ ̸̢̢ ̨́͝ ͡͠ ͟͠͝ ̛̕͘͟͞ ͠҉ ̴́͢ ̶̷̛͜͜ ̶̢ ̶̕ ̀̕͠͠ ̶̡ ̵̵̸͟ ̸̵̵͏ ̧̕͜͏́ ̷̸ ̶̨͝ ͝҉ ̀́ ͟҉ ̀͢҉ ̛͞͞ ̸̴͘͠ ̧҉̨̢ ͘͞͝ ̛͜͢͟͠ ҉̡ ̸̛̛̛̀ ̵̧́͘ ̴́͜͡ ̶̶̡҉ ̸͢ ͏̷̴͢ ͢͏ ̶̡́͟͝ ̶͞ ̵̵̕҉͞ ̨̨̀͠ ̷̕͜ ̶́̕͡͠ ҉̸̛̛ ̶͘͞ ̧͢͝ ̧҉ ̀̕͢ ̵̢͞ ̸͠ ̢͏͘͡ ̸̸̷́ ͜͟͞ ̛͡ ͜͡͞ ̵͝ ̸̡̕͞ ̷̢̨͜ ́͝͠͞ ̵̢̛̛ ͏҉̕͡ ̵͟ ͞ ͢͠ ̵̵̡ ̷̵͡ ̶͏̧͝ ̶́͡ ̶̀̀͠ ҉̢̕ ̷̛͝͠ ̶̶͢͝ ̕ ̶̕͟͡ ̷͜ ͠҉̴̨͟ ͘͢͠ ̸̧̛ ̴̶̛́̀ ̨͞ ͟͝ ͡͡͏̵ ̸͟͠ ̛̕ ̀̀ ̶̷̛́͘ ̷̡̢͜ ̀͘͞͝ ̢ ̸̴̧́͘ ̸̵͢ ̶̢ ͏̀ ̛̛ ̸̨͡͠͡ ̨̧͘̕ ҉̨ ̡̢̀ ̨̧͞͡ ́͢͠͝ ̨̡̛͜͡ ̷̕ ̧̨ ̨̨ ͏̶̢̀͞ ̨̀͟ ̨͠͞ ̵̧̕͡ ̶͠ ̷̀͝ ̸͘͠͏ ̴̨͝ ̶̵͟ ̨̡͡ ̢̕ ̶̧͟ ̧̀͠ ̴́̀ ̨͏ ̢̨͝ ̵̢́͝ ̨̢̕ ̴̡͘ ̀͘ ҉̸̡͞ ̛́̀ ̸̶̧̡͠ ̷̴̵̢ ̨͡͞͝͡ ̸͟͝͠͡ ҉̵̸̕͡ ̧͜ ̛͘͝ ̶̢̧ ̸̕ ͠ ̛͢͜ ̢̕ ̀́ ̡͠ ̷̕̕ ̸̷̢́ ̸̵́͠ ̴҉̶͜ ̶ ҉̧ ̛͜͏ ̕ ́҉͟͝ ̷̶͜ ̸͡ ̢̛͘͘ ̸̢͢͟ ̢̨̛́ ̷̸̨ ̴̴̵ ́̕͢͢͝ ̵́̕ ͏̶̀ ̀͢͠ ̛͟ ͟͞ ̴ ̡́͜͟͜ ̴̷̧̕ ҉́ ́́͟ ̶̨̕͏҉ ̴̡́ ̸̢́҉ ̶̡̛́͘ ̴̵͞ ̢̛ ̛͟҉̷ ̶̧̀͢ ̢̀́͞ ̵̛͢ ̡̀́͟͝ ̶ ̴̴̨͡͡ ̵̸́͠ ͟҉̧͠ ̶̸ ̸̵̧͜ ̨ ̕͏ ̵͢͝ ̶ ͟͟͢ ̧̕͞ ̸̀͝͡ ̶͝͞͠ ̸̀̕͜͠ ̶̡̕̕͞ ̵̵̧ ̴̴̷̡̛ ̶̸ ͏̸̨̢͜ ̵ ͜͜͝҉ ̸͢ ͠ ̕̕͡ ̡́ ̵̕ ̶̵̀͡ ̡͘͡͠ ̶҉̨͘ ̸̢̢ ̨́͝ ͡͠ ͟͠͝ ̛̕͘͟͞ ͠҉ ̴́͢ ̶̷̛͜͜ ̶̢ ̶̕ ̀̕͠͠ ̶̡ ̵̵̸͟ ̸̵̵͏ ̧̕͜͏́ ̷̸ ̶̨͝ ͝҉ ̀́ ͟҉ ̀͢҉ ̛͞͞ ̸̴͘͠ ̧҉̨̢ ͘͞͝ ̛͜͢͟͠ ҉̡ ̸̛̛̛̀ ̵̧́͘ ̴́͜͡ ̶̶̡҉ ̸͢ ͏̷̴͢ ͢͏ ̶̡́͟͝ ̶͞ ̵̵̕҉͞ ̨̨̀͠ ̷̕͜ ̶́̕͡͠ ҉̸̛̛ ̶͘͞ ̧͢͝ ̧҉ ̀̕͢ ̵̢͞ ̸͠ ̢͏͘͡ ̸̸̷́ ͜͟͞ ̛͡ ͜͡͞ ̵͝ ̸̡̕͞ ̷̢̨͜ ́͝͠͞ ̵̢̛̛ ͏҉̕͡ ̵͟ ͞ ͢͠ ̵̵̡ ̷̵͡ ̶͏̧͝ ̶́͡ ̶̀̀͠ ҉̢̕ ̷̛͝͠ ̶̶͢͝ ̕ ̶̕͟͡ ̷͜ ͠҉̴̨͟ ͘͢͠ ̸̧̛ ̴̶̛́̀ ̨͞ ͟͝ ͡͡͏̵ ̸͟͠ ̛̕ ̀̀ ̶̷̛́͘ ̷̡̢͜ ̀͘͞͝ ̢ ̸̴̧́͘ ̸̵͢ ̶̢ ͏̀ ̛̛ ̸̨͡͠͡ ̨̧͘̕ ҉̨ ̡̢̀ ̨̧͞͡ ́͢͠͝ ̨̡̛͜͡ ̷̕ ̧̨ ̨̨ ͏̶̢̀͞ ̨̀͟ ̨͠͞ ̵̧̕͡ ̶͠ ̷̀͝ ̸͘͠͏ ̴̨͝ ̶̵͟ ̨̡͡ ̢̕ ̶̧͟ ̧̀͠ ̴́̀ ̨͏ ̢̨͝ ̵̢́͝ ̨̢̕ ̴̡͘ ̀͘ ҉̸̡͞ ̛́̀ ̸̶̧̡͠ ̷̴̵̢ ̨͡͞͝͡ ̸͟͝͠͡ ҉̵̸̕͡ ̧͜ ̛͘͝ ̶̢̧ ̸̕ ͠ ̛͢͜ ̢̕ ̀́ ̡͠ ̷̕̕ ̸̷̢́ ̸̵́͠ ̴҉̶͜ ̶ ҉̧ ̛͜͏ ̕ ́҉͟͝ ̷̶͜ ̸͡ ̢̛͘͘ ̸̢͢͟ ̢̨̛́ ̷̸̨ ̴̴̵ ́̕͢͢͝ ̵́̕ ͏̶̀ ̀͢͠ ̛͟ ͟͞ ̴ ̡́͜͟͜ ̴̷̧̕ ҉́ ́́͟ ̶̨̕͏҉ ̴̡́ ̸̢́҉ ̶̡̛́͘ ̴̵͞ ̢̛ ̛͟҉̷ ̶̧̀͢ ̢̀́͞ ̵̛͢ ̡̀́͟͝ ̶ ̴̴̨͡͡ ̵̸́͠ ͟҉̧͠ ̶̸ ̸̵̧͜ ̨ ̕͏ ̵͢͝ ̶ ͟͟͢ ̧̕͞ ̸̀͝͡ ̶͝͞͠ ̸̀̕͜͠ ̶̡̕̕͞ ̵̵̧ ̴̴̷̡̛ ̶̸ ͏̸̨̢͜ ̵ ͜͜͝҉ ̸͢ ͠ ̕̕͡ ̡́ ̵̕ ̶̵̀͡ ̡͘͡͠ ̶҉̨͘ ̸̢̢ ̨́͝ ͡͠ ͟͠͝ ̛̕͘͟͞ ͠҉ ̴́͢ ̶̷̛͜͜ ̶̢ ̶̕ ̀̕͠͠ ̶̡ ̵̵̸͟ ̸̵̵͏ ̧̕͜͏́ ̷̸ ̶̨͝ ͝҉ ̀́ ͟҉ ̀͢҉ ̛͞͞ ̸̴͘͠ ̧҉̨̢ ͘͞͝ ̛͜͢͟͠ ҉̡ ̸̛̛̛̀ ̵̧́͘ ̴́͜͡ ̶̶̡҉ ̸͢ ͏̷̴͢ ͢͏ ̶̡́͟͝ ̶͞ ̵̵̕҉͞ ̨̨̀͠ ̷̕͜ ̶́̕͡͠ ҉̸̛̛ ̶͘͞ ̧͢͝ ̧҉ ̀̕͢ ̵̢͞ ̸͠ ̢͏͘͡ ̸̸̷́ ͜͟͞ ̛͡ ͜͡͞ ̵͝ ̸̡̕͞ ̷̢̨͜ ́͝͠͞ ̵̢̛̛ ͏҉̕͡ ̵͟ ͞ ͢͠ ̵̵̡ ̷̵͡ ̶͏̧͝ ̶́͡ ̶̀̀͠ ҉̢̕ ̷̛͝͠ ̶̶͢͝ ̕ ̶̕͟͡ ̷͜ ͠҉̴̨͟ ͘͢͠ ̸̧̛ ̴̶̛́̀ ̨͞ ͟͝ ͡͡͏̵ ̸͟͠ ̛̕ ̀̀ ̶̷̛́͘ ̷̡̢͜ ̀͘͞͝ ̢ ̸̴̧́͘ ̸̵͢ ̶̢ ͏̀ ̛̛ ̸̨͡͠͡ ̨̧͘̕ ҉̨ ̡̢̀ ̨̧͞͡ ́͢͠͝ ̨̡̛͜͡ ̷̕ ̧̨ ̨̨ ͏̶̢̀͞ ̨̀͟ ̨͠͞ ̵̧̕͡ ̶͠ ̷̀͝ ̸͘͠͏ ̴̨͝ ̶̵͟ ̨̡͡ ̢̕ ̶̧͟ ̧̀͠ ̴́̀ ̨͏ ̢̨͝ ̵̢́͝ ̨̢̕ ̴̡͘ ̀͘ ҉̸̡͞ ̛́̀ ̸̶̧̡͠ ̷̴̵̢ ̨͡͞͝͡ ̸͟͝͠͡ ҉̵̸̕͡ ̧͜ ̛͘͝ ̶̢̧ ̸̕ ͠ ̛͢͜ ̢̕ ̀́ ̡͠ ̷̕̕ ̸̷̢́ ̸̵́͠ ̴҉̶͜ ̶ ҉̧ ̛͜͏ ̕ ́҉͟͝ ̷̶͜ ̸͡ ̢̛͘͘ ̸̢͢͟ ̢̨̛́ ̷̸̨ ̴̴̵ ́̕͢͢͝ ̵́̕ ͏̶̀ ̀͢͠ ̛͟ ͟͞ ̴ ̡́͜͟͜ ̴̷̧̕ ҉́ ́́͟ ̶̨̕͏҉ ̴̡́ ̸̢́҉ ̶̡̛́͘ ̴̵͞ ̢̛ ̛͟҉̷ ̶̧̀͢ ̢̀́͞ ̵̛͢ ̡̀́͟͝ ̶ ̴̴̨͡͡ ̵̸́͠ ͟҉̧͠ ̶̸ ̸̵̧͜ ̨ ̕͏ ̵͢͝ ̶ ͟͟͢ ̧̕͞ ̸̀͝͡ ̶͝͞͠ ̸̀̕͜͠ ̶̡̕̕͞ ̵̵̧ ̴̴̷̡̛ ̶̸ ͏̸̨̢͜ ̵ ͜͜͝҉ ̸͢ ͠ ̕̕͡ ̡́ ̵̕ ̶̵̀͡ ̡͘͡͠ ̶҉̨͘ ̸̢̢ ̨́͝ ͡͠ ͟͠͝ ̛̕͘͟͞ ͠҉ ̴́͢ ̶̷̛͜͜ ̶̢ ̶̕ ̀̕͠͠ ̶̡ ̵̵̸͟ ̸̵̵͏ ̧̕͜͏́ ̷̸ ̶̨͝ ͝҉ ̀́ ͟҉ ̀͢҉ ̛͞͞ ̸̴͘͠ ̧҉̨̢ ͘͞͝ ̛͜͢͟͠ ҉̡ ̸̛̛̛̀ ̵̧́͘ ̴́͜͡ ̶̶̡҉ ̸͢ ͏̷̴͢ ͢͏ ̶̡́͟͝ ̶͞ ̵̵̕҉͞ ̨̨̀͠ ̷̕͜ ̶́̕͡͠ ҉̸̛̛ ̶͘͞ ̧͢͝ ̧҉ ̀̕͢ ̵̢͞ ̸͠ ̢͏͘͡ ̸̸̷́ ͜͟͞ ̛͡ ͜͡͞ ̵͝ ̸̡̕͞ ̷̢̨͜ ́͝͠͞ ̵̢̛̛ ͏҉̕͡ ̵͟ ͞ ͢͠ ̵̵̡ ̷̵͡ ̶͏̧͝ ̶́͡ ̶̀̀͠ ҉̢̕ ̷̛͝͠ ̶̶͢͝ ̕ ̶̕͟͡ ̷͜ ͠҉̴̨͟ ͘͢͠ ̸̧̛ ̴̶̛́̀ ̨͞ ͟͝ ͡͡͏̵ ̸͟͠ ̛̕ ̀̀ ̶̷̛́͘ ̷̡̢͜ ̀͘͞͝ ̢ ̸̴̧́͘ ̸̵͢ ̶̢ ͏̀ ̛̛ ̸̨͡͠͡ ̨̧͘̕ ҉̨ ̡̢̀ ̨̧͞͡ ́͢͠͝ ̨̡̛͜͡ ̷̕ ̧̨ ̨̨ ͏̶̢̀͞ ̨̀͟ ̨͠͞ ̵̧̕͡ ̶͠ ̷̀͝ ̸͘͠͏ ̴̨͝ ̶̵͟ ̨̡͡ ̢̕ ̶̧͟ ̧̀͠ ̴́̀ ̨͏ ̢̨͝ ̵̢́͝ ̨̢̕ ̴̡͘ ̀͘ ҉̸̡͞ ̛́̀ ̸̶̧̡͠ ̷̴̵̢ ̨͡͞͝͡ ̸͟͝͠͡ ҉̵̸̕͡ ̧͜ ̛͘͝ ̶̢̧ ̸̕ ͠ ̛͢͜ ̢̕ ̀́ ̡͠ ̷̕̕ ̸̷̢́ ̸̵́͠ ̴҉̶͜ ̶ ҉̧ ̛͜͏ ̕ ́҉͟͝ ̷̶͜ ̸͡ ̢̛͘͘ ̸̢͢͟ ̢̨̛́ ̷̸̨ ̴̴̵ ́̕͢͢͝ ̵́̕ ͏̶̀ ̀͢͠ ̛͟ ͟͞ ̴ ̡́͜͟͜ ̴̷̧̕ ҉́ ́́͟ ̶̨̕͏҉ ̴̡́ ̸̢́҉ ̶̡̛́͘ ̴̵͞ ̢̛ ̛͟҉̷ ̶̧̀͢ ̢̀́͞ ̵̛͢ ̡̀́͟͝ ̶ ̴̴̨͡͡ ̵̸́͠ ͟҉̧͠ ̶̸ ̸̵̧͜ ̨ ̕͏ ̵͢͝ ̶ ͟͟͢ ̧̕͞ ̸̀͝͡ ̶͝͞͠ ̸̀̕͜͠ ̶̡̕̕͞ ̵̵̧ ̴̴̷̡̛ ̶̸ ͏̸̨̢͜ ̵ ͜͜͝҉ ̸͢ ͠ ̕̕͡ ̡́ ̵̕ ̶̵̀͡ ̡͘͡͠ ̶҉̨͘ ̸̢̢ ̨́͝ ͡͠ ͟͠͝ ̛̕͘͟͞ ͠҉ ̴́͢ ̶̷̛͜͜ ̶̢ ̶̕ ̀̕͠͠ ̶̡ ̵̵̸͟ ̸̵̵͏ ̧̕͜͏́ ̷̸ ̶̨͝ ͝҉ ̀́ ͟҉ ̀͢҉ ̛͞͞ ̸̴͘͠ ̧҉̨̢ ͘͞͝ ̛͜͢͟͠ ҉̡ ̸̛̛̛̀ ̵̧́͘ ̴́͜͡ ̶̶̡҉ ̸͢ ͏̷̴͢ ͢͏ ̶̡́͟͝ ̶͞ ̵̵̕҉͞ ̨̨̀͠ ̷̕͜ ̶́̕͡͠ ҉̸̛̛ ̶͘͞ ̧͢͝ ̧҉ ̀̕͢ ̵̢͞ ̸͠ ̢͏͘͡ ̸̸̷́ ͜͟͞ ̛͡ ͜͡͞ ̵͝ ̸̡̕͞ ̷̢̨͜ ́͝͠͞ ̵̢̛̛ ͏҉̕͡ ̵͟ ͞ ͢͠ ̵̵̡ ̷̵͡ ̶͏̧͝ ̶́͡ ̶̀̀͠ ҉̢̕ ̷̛͝͠ ̶̶͢͝ ̕ ̶̕͟͡ ̷͜ ͠҉̴̨͟ ͘͢͠ ̸̧̛ ̴̶̛́̀ ̨͞ ͟͝ ͡͡͏̵ ̸͟͠ ̛̕ ̀̀ ̶̷̛́͘ ̷̡̢͜ ̀͘͞͝ ̢ ̸̴̧́͘ ̸̵͢ ̶̢ ͏̀ ̛̛ ̸̨͡͠͡ ̨̧͘̕ ҉̨ ̡̢̀ ̨̧͞͡ ́͢͠͝ ̨̡̛͜͡ ̷̕ ̧̨ ̨̨ ͏̶̢̀͞ ̨̀͟ ̨͠͞ ̵̧̕͡ ̶͠ ̷̀͝ ̸͘͠͏ ̴̨͝ ̶̵͟ ̨̡͡ ̢̕ ̶̧͟ ̧̀͠ ̴́̀ ̨͏ ̢̨͝ ̵̢́͝ ̨̢̕ ̴̡͘ ̀͘ ҉̸̡͞ ̛́̀ ̸̶̧̡͠ ̷̴̵̢ ̨͡͞͝͡ ̸͟͝͠͡ ҉̵̸̕͡ ̧͜ ̛͘͝ ̶̢̧ ̸̕ ͠ ̛͢͜ ̢̕ ̀́ ̡͠ ̷̕̕ ̸̷̢́ ̸̵́͠ ̴҉̶͜ ̶ ҉̧ ̛͜͏ ̕ ́҉͟͝ ̷̶͜ ̸͡ ̢̛͘͘ ̸̢͢͟ ̢̨̛́ ̷̸̨ ̴̴̵ ́̕͢͢͝ ̵́̕ ͏̶̀ ̀͢͠ ̛͟ ͟͞ ̴ ̡́͜͟͜ ̴̷̧̕ ҉́ ́́͟ ̶̨̕͏҉ ̴̡́ ̸̢́҉ ̶̡̛́͘ ̴̵͞ ̢̛ ̛͟҉̷ ̶̧̀͢ ̢̀́͞ ̵̛͢ ̡̀́͟͝ ̶ ̴̴̨͡͡ ̵̸́͠ ͟҉̧͠ ̶̸ ̸̵̧͜ ̨ ̕͏ ̵͢͝ ̶ ͟͟͢ ̧̕͞ ̸̀͝͡ ̶͝͞͠ ̸̀̕͜͠ ̶̡̕̕͞ ̵̵̧ ̴̴̷̡̛ ̶̸ ͏̸̨̢͜ ̵ ͜͜͝҉ ̸͢ ͠ ̕̕͡ ̡́ ̵̕ ̶̵̀͡ ̡͘͡͠ ̶҉̨͘ ̸̢̢ ̨́͝ ͡͠ ͟͠͝ ̛̕͘͟͞ ͠҉ ̴́͢ ̶̷̛͜͜ ̶̢ ̶̕ ̀̕͠͠ ̶̡ ̵̵̸͟ ̸̵̵͏ ̧̕͜͏́ ̷̸ ̶̨͝ ͝҉ ̀́ ͟҉ ̀͢҉ ̛͞͞ ̸̴͘͠ ̧҉̨̢ ͘͞͝ ̛͜͢͟͠ ҉̡ ̸̛̛̛̀ ̵̧́͘ ̴́͜͡ ̶̶̡҉ ̸͢ ͏̷̴͢ ͢͏ ̶̡́͟͝ ̶͞ ̵̵̕҉͞ ̨̨̀͠ ̷̕͜ ̶́̕͡͠ ҉̸̛̛ ̶͘͞ ̧͢͝ ̧҉ ̀̕͢ ̵̢͞ ̸͠ ̢͏͘͡ ̸̸̷́ ͜͟͞ ̛͡ ͜͡͞ ̵͝ ̸̡̕͞ ̷̢̨͜ ́͝͠͞ ̵̢̛̛ ͏҉̕͡ ̵͟ ͞ ͢͠ ̵̵̡ ̷̵͡ ̶͏̧͝ ̶́͡ ̶̀̀͠ ҉̢̕ ̷̛͝͠ ̶̶͢͝ ̕ ̶̕͟͡ ̷͜ ͠҉̴̨͟ ͘͢͠ ̸̧̛ ̴̶̛́̀ ̨͞ ͟͝ ͡͡͏̵ ̸͟͠ ̛̕ ̀̀ ̶̷̛́͘ ̷̡̢͜ ̀͘͞͝ ̢ ̸̴̧́͘ ̸̵͢ ̶̢ ͏̀ ̛̛ ̸̨͡͠͡ ̨̧͘̕ ҉̨ ̡̢̀ ̨̧͞͡ ́͢͠͝ ̨̡̛͜͡ ̷̕ ̧̨ ̨̨ ͏̶̢̀͞ ̨̀͟ ̨͠͞ ̵̧̕͡ ̶͠ ̷̀͝ ̸͘͠͏ ̴̨͝ ̶̵͟ ̨̡͡ ̢̕ ̶̧͟ ̧̀͠ ̴́̀ ̨͏ ̢̨͝ ̵̢́͝ ̨̢̕ ̴̡͘ ̀͘ ҉̸̡͞ ̛́̀ ̸̶̧̡͠ ̷̴̵̢ ̨͡͞͝͡ ̸͟͝͠͡ ҉̵̸̕͡ ̧͜ ̛͘͝ ̶̢̧ ̸̕ ͠ ̛͢͜ ̢̕ ̀́ ̡͠ ̷̕̕ ̸̷̢́ ̸̵́͠ ̴҉̶͜ ̶ ҉̧ ̛͜͏ ̕ ́҉͟͝ ̷̶͜ ̸͡ ̢̛͘͘ ̸̢͢͟ ̢̨̛́ ̷̸̨ ̴̴̵ ́̕͢͢͝ ̵́̕ ͏̶̀ ̀͢͠ ̛͟ ͟͞ ̴ ̡́͜͟͜ ̴̷̧̕ ҉́ ́́͟ ̶̨̕͏҉ ̴̡́ ̸̢́҉ ̶̡̛́͘ ̴̵͞ ̢̛ ̛͟҉̷ ̶̧̀͢ ̢̀́͞ ̵̛͢ ̡̀́͟͝ ̶ ̴̴̨͡͡ ̵̸́͠ ͟҉̧͠ ̶̸ ̸̵̧͜ ̨ ̕͏ ̵͢͝ ̶ ͟͟͢ ̧̕͞ ̸̀͝͡ ̶͝͞͠ ̸̀̕͜͠ ̶̡̕̕͞ ̵̵̧ ̴̴̷̡̛ ̶̸ ͏̸̨̢͜ ̵ ͜͜͝҉ ̸͢ ͠ ̕̕͡ ̡́ ̵̕ ̶̵̀͡ ̡͘͡͠ ̶҉̨͘ ̸̢̢ ̨́͝ ͡͠ ͟͠͝ ̛̕͘͟͞ ͠҉ ̴́͢ ̶̷̛͜͜ ̶̢ ̶̕ ̀̕͠͠ ̶̡ ̵̵̸͟ ̸̵̵͏ ̧̕͜͏́ ̷̸ ̶̨͝ ͝҉ ̀́ ͟҉ ̀͢҉ ̛͞͞ ̸̴͘͠ ̧҉̨̢ ͘͞͝ ̛͜͢͟͠ ҉̡ ̸̛̛̛̀ ̵̧́͘ ̴́͜͡ ̶̶̡҉ ̸͢ ͏̷̴͢ ͢͏ ̶̡́͟͝ ̶͞ ̵̵̕҉͞ ̨̨̀͠ ̷̕͜ ̶́̕͡͠ ҉̸̛̛ ̶͘͞ ̧͢͝ ̧҉ ̀̕͢ ̵̢͞ ̸͠ ̢͏͘͡ ̸̸̷́ ͜͟͞ ̛͡ ͜͡͞ ̵͝ ̸̡̕͞ ̷̢̨͜ ́͝͠͞ ̵̢̛̛ ͏҉̕͡ ̵͟ ͞ ͢͠ ̵̵̡ ̷̵͡ ̶͏̧͝ ̶́͡ ̶̀̀͠ ҉̢̕ ̷̛͝͠ ̶̶͢͝ ̕ ̶̕͟͡ ̷͜ ͠҉̴̨͟ ͘͢͠ ̸̧̛ ̴̶̛́̀ ̨͞ ͟͝ ͡͡͏̵ ̸͟͠ ̛̕ ̀̀ ̶̷̛́͘ ̷̡̢͜ ̀͘͞͝ ̢ ̸̴̧́͘ ̸̵͢ ̶̢ ͏̀ ̛̛ ̸̨͡͠͡ ̨̧͘̕ ҉̨ ̡̢̀ ̨̧͞͡ ́͢͠͝ ̨̡̛͜͡ ̷̕ ̧̨ ̨̨ ͏̶̢̀͞ ̨̀͟ ̨͠͞ ̵̧̕͡ ̶͠ ̷̀͝ ̸͘͠͏ ̴̨͝ ̶̵͟ ̨̡͡ ̢̕ ̶̧͟ ̧̀͠ ̴́̀ ̨͏ ̢̨͝ ̵̢́͝ ̨̢̕ ̴̡͘ ̀͘ ҉̸̡͞ ̛́̀ ̸̶̧̡͠ ̷̴̵̢ ̨͡͞͝͡ ̸͟͝͠͡ ҉̵̸̕͡ ̧͜ ̛͘͝ ̶̢̧ ̸̕ ͠ ̛͢͜ ̢̕ ̀́ ̡͠ ̷̕̕ ̸̷̢́ ̸̵́͠ ̴҉̶͜ ̶ ҉̧ ̛͜͏ ̕ ́҉͟͝ ̷̶͜ ̸͡ ̢̛͘͘ ̸̢͢͟ ̢̨̛́ ̷̸̨ ̴̴̵ ́̕͢͢͝ ̵́̕ ͏̶̀ ̀͢͠ ̛͟ ͟͞ ̴ ̡́͜͟͜ ̴̷̧̕ ҉́ ́́͟ ̶̨̕͏҉ ̴̡́ ̸̢́҉ ̶̡̛́͘ ̴̵͞ ̢̛ ̛͟҉̷ ̶̧̀͢ ̢̀́͞ ̵̛͢ ̡̀́͟͝ ̶ ̴̴̨͡͡ ̵̸́͠ ͟҉̧͠ ̶̸ ̸̵̧͜ ̨ ̕͏ ̵͢͝ ̶ ͟͟͢ ̧̕͞ ̸̀͝͡ ̶͝͞͠ ̸̀̕͜͠ ̶̡̕̕͞ ̵̵̧ ̴̴̷̡̛ ̶̸ ͏̸̨̢͜ ̵ ͜͜͝҉ ̸͢ ͠ ̕̕͡

"Pine Tree~" a familiar voice sang in his ear, "wake up~"

His eyes cracked open slightly and he found himself in the clearing he'd woken up in yesterday again and he was leaning against the large tree once more. "Bill?" he asked.  
"Yup, have a good sleep? I made sure to keep the nightmares away for y',"  
"Nightmares?" he asked when everything came crashing down on him; the horrific events with the sirens on Scuttlebutt island. "What happened with the, uh..." he trailed off and averted his eyes from the demon's.  
"First siren died, obviously. The others? I don't know, I teleported us here before they showed up."  
"You couldn't have done that in the first place? Now I'm gonna have nightmares for God knows how long."  
"Nah, I'll make sure you only have sweet dreams in your noggin. And it was fun watching you get chased for sirens, as short as it was. It was also pretty fun exploding a head, you have no idea how long it's been since I did that," he laughed.  
"Right," the boy muttered.  
"Kid, cheer up. I made sure to get the blood off y' so you have nothing to worry about."  
"B-blood?" he stuttered.  
"Yup, such a shame. It really suited you."  
"O-oh, uh..." he thought for a moment, unsure of what to say. "I need to get back to the shack."  
"Already? You that desperate to leave me, Pine Tree? I'm offended."  
"No, I just need to talk to Mabel," he said surprisingly calmly - he was exhausted after the day's events and couldn't bring himself to put any effort into putting emotion in his words.  
The demon hummed before saying; "oh yeah, I forgot to give this to you. You left it back at Scuttlebutt Island so I picked it up for y'," he clicked his fingers and the journal dropped into the boy's hands. "Now then, I'll take you back to the rat-hole you call a house," he took the boy's hand without further word or a reply and they were quickly engulfed in a blue flame.

"Have fun, I'll see you tomorrow, Pine Tree!" Bill waved to the teen once they arrived and instantly flashed away.  
"Bye," Dipper said to the empty air after the demon had disappeared. It wasn't too late in the afternoon and when he walked into the shack, he walked straight past Wendy without a word.  
"Hey Dipper, how's it hanging?" she asked as he passed but he only ignored her. He only wanted to talk to his twin at that moment. After discovering that she _still_ hadn't returned - where had she gone? - he simply sat down in the living room and watched TV while he waited.

"Dipper?" came a voice from the doorway; it had only been forty five minutes since he'd returned himself and he turned his head to see his sister. The words flowed from his mouth all at once and he, himself, wasn't entirely sure what he was spouting but he knew he had to, he wanted to, apologise to Mabel:  
"Mabel, I'm so sorry. I know I'm being selfish and I should have broken the deal with Bill, I shouldn't have made it in the first place but I don't know why, I just can't, I- "  
"It's fine," she interrupted him.  
"W-what?" he stammered. The night before she'd been so upset and had cried herself to sleep - when had she come to terms with his choices?  
"I'm pretty sure you're the only guy that could ever _like_ Bill, Dipper," she said, "and I don't know how you could. But I guess if you're happy when you're with him then I'll put up with it, it's not like he'd ever hurt you, right?"  
Dipper smiled sincerely and nodded, "yeah. Thanks Mabel," he was glad that she'd finally accepted it.  
"Besides, it's so funny watching you get all flustered because you're in _love~_ " she drawled out the last word tauntingly.  
His face heated up, "no, I'm not- don't ruin the moment, Mabel."  
She laughed before opening her arms, "awkward sibling hug?"  
"Awkward sibling hug," Dipper agreed and opened his own arms. However, as he moved to hug his sister, Waddles snorted and squealed loudly at their feet, startling them both. The pig stood between the duo, watching Dipper almost warningly. "What's wrong with him? He's never done this before." He had a sneaking suspicion that the pig could sense Bill's presence, just as Ford had explained that morning.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

That night, Dipper couldn't help but think over that moment; he was overjoyed that Mabel had accepted what he wanted. He couldn't explain his choices to himself, let alone others and he was glad that Mabel didn't expect him to; she wouldn't try to break the deal or stop him from going with Bill - and for that, he was thankful. He couldn't say the same for his Great Uncle Ford, however. He knew that the man was hiding something; he'd never hidden anything from the boy before, so why now? The only logical answer the boy could think of was that it had something to do with his demonic companion; Bill. He'd been furious when he found out about the deal... was he trying to break it?  
Dipper drifted into a peaceful slumber full of sweet dreams, just as he'd been promised.

* * *

 **The siren was a request, and was fun to write. So thanks for that ;D**  
 **Siren on Wikipedia: wiki/Siren_(mythology)**  
 **Bad annotations: art/Siren-598051772  
** **The weird text effect thingy if you're curious:** **/**

 **Sorry if the whole weird text thingy got a bit much. I really wanted to give this chapter a scarier feeling, did it work? (I guess it's a bit too short for scary.) If you think I should dial it down a bit with the weird text, let me know and I'll fix it and re-upload this chapter. I feel like some day, this fic is going to reach a whole new level of blood and gore. Sorry in advance... I'll try not to surpass the stuff in this chapter.  
Also, you probably noticed above 'bad annotations' well yeah I've just decided that instead of calling them drawings (they're so bad, they can't even be called drawings,) I'm going to call them my 'bad annotations' art series. Since that's basically what it is. If you haven't seen them, they're just my quick sketches/terrible drawings of the creatures I write ****about in this fic. I only draw the ones that I think are difficult to describe or imagine, and I always label them with really self-critical and sarcastic comments xD. So yeah, check those out if you want to.**

 **Feel free to request any creatures, I love writing for reviewers, it's a lot more fun than finding my own stuff! You can be as detailed or as vague as you want, even going as far as plotting an entire chapter or just giving me the name and letting me have free reign ;).**

 **Anyways, thanks for reading, please review, favourite, etc, if you liked this chapter!**


	11. Aerico

**Not sure if this needs a warning, but I'm putting one just in case. Drugs are mentioned briefly in this chapter, but only as a joke (when I say briefly, I mean like not-even-one-paragraph-long briefly. Nothing serious.)**

* * *

"Dipper," a voice called and roused him from his sleep only slightly; "breakfast is ready." Humming his acknowledgement, he rolled over and squinted his eyes at his alarm clock; ten thirty. He shut his eyes again and let himself drift off once more.

He opened them again what felt like minutes later, but glanced at the clock again and found that it was ten minutes past twelve in the afternoon. He felt bile rise quickly in his throat and he leaned over the edge of his bed to throw up the contents of his stomach onto the floorboards. Eyes aching as he blinked, he groaned at the pounding that filled his head and the acidic taste that danced on his tongue – but he wasn't done yet; the vile taste brought another shot of vomit up from his stomach and he spat it out onto the floor immediately while cringing at the taste. His throat hurt from contracting so much, his nose was clogged but running at the same time and his eyelids drooped lazily despite his well-rested body. Pushing himself up weakly, he groaned as the headache worsened with his movement: "Mabel," he called, voice hoarse and cracking; so quiet he could barely hear himself. He stood from the bed and a wave of dizziness rushed over him, he almost fell back into his own vomit before he caught himself on the bed with an uncomfortable grunt: his bones felt stiff. "Grunkle Stan," he called again and coughed before wiping the snot that had started running from his nose.  
"Dipper~" sang a familiar voice, followed by a loud thumping up the stairs. "Who's ready for a _makeover?"_  
He groaned, "no, Mabel-" he tried to call back but could barely talk. He started coughing again, hunching over from the exertion and clutching his stomach. The door burst open and in the doorway was Mabel and her two friends, posing dramatically like heroes for a film. Mabel had her hands on her hips, a heroic smile gracing her lips and eyes locked on her brother. Candy was to her right, just behind her, holding mascara, lipstick, blush and other makeup. Grenda was to the left of Mabel, just behind her and next to Candy, and was waving around fashion magazines.  
Mabel inhaled – probably to shout something about a makeover – before gagging and covering her nose, making a loud sound of disgust; Grenda and Candy covered their noses, too. "What is that smell?" Mabel asked. Taking in her brother's appearance as he coughed again, she saw the pile of vomit behind him and cringed. "Did you puke?" she asked him and he sniffed and nodded.  
"I think I'm sick," he said.  
"Oh no," Candy said, "now we can't have our sleepover or we'll get sick."  
"That makes me wanna punch something!" Grenda shouted, punching a fist into her other palm.  
"Ladies, ladies. Calm down, we can still have the sleepover," Mabel assured them happily. She turned to her twin and walked over to him. "You need to rest, bro-bro," she said and took a hold of his arm gently to help him get back into bed. "We can go to Candy or Grenda's for a sleepover. I'll go ask Soos to clear this up," she gestured to the bile on the floor as Dipper laid down on the soft mattress and she helped to tuck him in.  
"Mabel is so caring and nice!" Grenda shouted abruptly.  
"She would be a great mother," Candy agreed quietly and adjusted her glasses.  
"Oh stop it," Mabel said jokingly. "Now who's ready to party?!" she cried excitedly. The trio cheered happily and ran back outside, the loud noises worsening the pounding in Dipper's head and he groaned from the discomfort before closing his eyes and snuggling up under the blanket.

"Jeeze, what are they screaming about? Did eight-ball show up and try to eat 'em or something?"  
Dipper groaned again – more from annoyance than pain – and opened his eyes. "Bill, can't you come back another time?"  
The demon put his hands on his hips, "what you don't wanna go find some monsters?"  
The boy looked away from him and buried his head into his warm pillow, "I do, but I'm sick. I can't go anywhere like this. Let's go when I'm better," his voice was muffled by the soft fabric but the immortal heard still him.  
"Sick? I've got the perfect thing for you! I just made a deal with some meat-puppet over in the United Kingdom who wanted this thing called 'speed.' I don't know what it does, but he was a lot happier after he took it, so why don't I get you some, too?"  
"What?! No, Bill, I'm not going to take drugs!" The boy leaned up in shock and glared at the being.  
"Drugs? So _that's_ what it was! I figured it was like cat-nip but for humans," he laughed.  
Dipper sighed, "no. Can't you just do your magic-y thing and make me better?"  
"Oh yeah, course I can," he disappeared in a bright flash and the teen felt a familiar soft pressure in the back of his head, which he rested back on his pillow and closed his eyes again. Bill reappeared in front of the boy once more, looking significantly less cheerful than before. "On second thought, maybe not."  
"What, why not?" the teen asked, squinting up at him and coughing.  
"Turns out it's not just some pathetic disease that you fat-bags get, it's a curse."  
"Who-" he coughed again, "cursed me? And why?"  
"Aerico, and because he's a jerk."  
"Who's that?"  
"A demon. He gives humans diseases like the plague and malaria."  
"W-what? Are you saying I have malaria? Or the plague? Could I die?" he panicked.  
"Relax, Pine Tree. I think this sickness is going to your head; you aren't gonna die from the flu," he reached – literally – into his palm and pulled out his cane before poking at the boy's head lightly with it. "I said _like_ malaria and plague. You don't have either, it's just the flu… for now. We should go deal with Aerico before it can get any worse."  
"How bad can it get?" he wiped his nose on the back of his hand.  
"Not too bad, maybe you'd get cancer? Explosive diarrhoea? Start throwing up bricks?"  
"That's not how it works, and even if it did I'm pretty sure I'd die from all of those!"  
He laughed, "kid, I'm a dream demon not a disease demon. You think I care? But seriously," he looked into Dipper's eyes, "I'm not gonna let you die."  
"What're you gonna do?"  
" _We_ are gonna go find Aerico and make you better," he quipped happily.  
"I already told you," he sniffed, "I can't go anywhere. I'm sick and I feel like I'm dying."  
"Well I thought you'd want to be there so you can write in your journal, but if you don't…" he trailed off.  
Dipper hesitated, "are you sure you can't make me any better?"  
"I can try and make it less painful, but not entirely better. I'll get to it, then we can go," he disappeared again and the ache in the boy's mind intensified for a moment. He clutched his head and whined at the pain, curling into a small ball on the mattress with tears pricking the corners of his eyes. Just as the ache started to dull, it spiked again like a knife going through his brain – he yelped at the suddenness and curled into a tighter ball, arms wrapped around his knees and hugging them to his chest in desperation to lessen it. Bile started to rise in throat for the third time that day, and he forced his muscles to move so he could throw up on the floor; his bones ached and protested the movement weakly. He felt that he couldn't breathe and gasped for breath, "Bill," he muttered weakly.

Bill showed up again in front of him, looking annoyed about something or other. The suffocating feeling released the boy and he gulped down air desperately, panting and coughing. "I can't do anything. There's a barrier or something and I can't get through it without doing harm to you or maybe even killing you," the demon said. He spotted the new pile of vomit on the floor and spoke again: "Pine Tree, that's disgusting. At least have the courtesy to swallow your vomit so others don't have to see it."  
"Ew no, _that's_ disgusting," he argued.  
"It came from your stomach anyway; it was food that you already ate so I don't see the problem."  
"Can you just go and find that Aerico demon so I get better. Please?" he pleaded, leaning back in bed on his back. The pain had thankfully subsided into a dull, constant ache.  
"Nope, we're both going. And you don't have a choice," he took control of the boy's limbs and pulled him up to stand beside the bed.  
"Seriously?" he whined. "I'm still in my pyjamas," he then muttered.  
"Yup," the teen's infamous blue and white cap was lifted into the air and placed on the boy's head. "Now, get walking or I'll make you, myself."  
"Fine but this better not take long," he sniffed. Taking a single step forward, he lost balance and fell forward onto his hands and knees, dizziness overwhelming him and causing him to clutch at his head again.  
"Wow, you are _pathetic._ C'mere, kid." He disappeared and the pressure in the back of Dipper's head appeared once more. His arms pushed him up onto his feet and a smile plastered onto his lips, "let's go, Pine Tree," he said and pulled on a pair of trainers. Standing up, he was just about to move when the door opened.

Soos walked in with various cleaning supplies in hand and a small smile on his face, the smell of vomit didn't seem to faze him when he greeted the boy: "Oh, hey hambone. You should probably be resting, Mabel asked me to come clear up the mess so you can go back to bed."  
"Hey there, question mark!" Bill spoke through the boy.  
"I mean, uh, hey Soos," Dipper quickly corrected but instantly regretted it when his throat started hurting and he coughed.  
"Dude, you alright?" the man asked.  
"Feeling better already," the demon lied, "I'm going out, don't look for me or else I'll put frog guts in your next meal- ok, bye~" he sang before quickly pushing past Soos and jogging down the stairs.

Once they'd reached the bottom, they bumped into a tall figure.  
"Kid? I thought you were sick, why aren't you in bed?" Stan said.  
"We're now going out," Bill said.  
"What d'you mean 'we'? Mabel's at a sleep over, remember? Or is that sickness getting to you?"  
"Yes- uh, yeah. Sorry, I'm going by myself then," Dipper quickly spoke, pushing past the pain.  
"I don't know; your parents wouldn't want you going out when you're sick…" he said. "Good thing they're not here to know, knock yourself out." He patted the boy's back and walked away, letting him pass. Just as Bill was about to lead the teen's body outside, another tall figure rounded the corner and knocked them over onto the boy's behind. "Who now?" Bill said, clearly annoyed and looked up.  
"Great Uncle Ford," the boy squeaked.  
"Hey sixer," his hands were immediately slapped over his mouth.  
The man hesitated and stared at him intently, as if studying for something. "Bill." It was a single word, a single name but held enough power to strike fear in the boy's body. He tensed before quickly taking control of his own body again and forcing himself to stand – albeit awkwardly without the use of one his hands - and running out of the shack, straight into the woods with one hand still covering his mouth.  
' _You know that Aerico is in the other direction, right, Pine Tree?'_ Bill thought after a minute of running in silence. ' _Why are you still running?'_  
The boy started coughing again and tripped over a thick root in the ground. Landing on his hands and knees once more, he starting hacking loudly and panting as every muscle in his body ached and begged to be relieved from the constant movement. Bill moved his vessel back to lean on a nearby tree while the brunet continued coughing.

He quietened after a moment but his breathing was still laboured after having ran and with the addition of a blocked nose. Dipper closed his eyes and leaned back on the tree, thankful to have something to rest on – he closed his eyes and listened to the soothing nature around him. ' _Alright, kid, get moving. We have further to go now that you decided to run this way_ ,' Bill thought.  
The teen hummed his acknowledgement, but clearly hadn't listened to the immortal's words and instead slumped further down the tree.  
' _Pine Tree,'_ he called again but got no answer. The boy had fallen asleep again. Bill released a sigh through the body and moved it himself, Dipper could rest his subconscious while he took them where they needed to go.

The demon walked for a few minutes in silence, enjoying the sight of the forest shying away from him. Deer would run in the opposite direction from him, gnomes would hide in groups behind trees while they muttered to each other about him, even the trees' branches seemed to cower and coil away from him. He loved it. After a few minutes, he made it back to the Mystery Shack and smiled at the sight of it. He walked past it, waving to Wendy when he saw her going into the gift shop.  
"Hey, Dipper!" she called to him.  
"Hey-a, Red!" he called back cheerfully. Once the girl had entered the building, another figure stepped out; one he recognised as Stanford Pines. He stopped and grinned when the man approached him at a steady pace.  
"Dipper," Ford said.  
"Hey, Sixer. Long time no see," Bill said and looked up the man that stood before him.  
"Bill," he corrected himself. "What are doing in Dipper's body? Where is he?"  
Bill knocked on the boy's head, "he's asleep so I decided I'd take over for a bit. So how have you been? What's it been now… ten years? Fifteen? I don't really keep track of your human time."  
Ford ignored the attempt at small-talk. "Give Dipper his body back. Permanently. Get out of our lives for good, Bill."  
"No can do, Sixer. See, Pine Tree 'n' I made a deal and we can't break it now. Besides, he's perfectly fine with me riding around in his head like this," he gestured to the teen's head as he spoke. "Pine Tree wants me around more than you like, he enjoys my company – deal with it."  
"I said," Ford reached back under his coat, into the back pocket of his trousers warningly and Bill could just make out the handle of a gun. "Leave Dipper alone."  
"Whoa, you're not planning on shooting Pine Tree, are y'? That's harsh!" the grin was still etched on his face. "Listen Sixer, don't go trying to mess with our deal." The smirk was wiped away in an instant, "I said it to Shooting Star, and I'll say it to you: mess with the deal and you'll regret it. Your entire family will regret it." Neither of them said anything for a long few moments so the demon spoke again with a new grin: "well, if that's all then we'll be going. It was nice seeing you again," he lifted Dipper's cap from his head in a manner of politeness. "See y' later, sixer." He turned the teen's body and started walking away, a moment later he heard Ford call behind him:  
"I'm going to get rid of you, Bill. Whether Dipper sees it or not, you're evil and I'm going to find a way to stop you."  
He chuckled quietly before calling back, without looking back: "I'd like to see y' try."

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Consciousness returned to him slowly. He was welcomed to the waking world by the sight of lush greenery around him, slowly moving past him. It was then that he registered his moving limbs, "Bill?" he asked and yawned before clearing his throat.  
"Afternoon, Pine Tree. Sleep well?" Bill asked, "haha, I'm kidding. I know you slept well, I made sure you had only the best dreams while you were out."  
"You did…?"  
"Of course. Anyways, it's a good thing you woke up 'cause we're almost there."  
"Almost where?" he coughed and moved a hand to wipe his nose.  
"Aerico. Remember him?"  
"Oh yeah. So what are you gonna do when we see him?"  
"Well that depends if we do see him. He has two forms, one is an unseen form that you meat-sacks can't see and the other is his human form. If we're lucky, we'll catch him in his human one."  
"Can _you_ see his unseen form?"  
"Of course I can, I'm a demon. Which also means I can kill him when we find him."  
"O-oh. That's not gonna be like it was yesterday is it? With the…"  
"The siren? I don't know. Depends how bored I am and how annoying he gets."  
"Why did he curse me in the first place?" the boy groaned, "what did I do to him?"  
"Because he's a jerk. He never liked me so when he found out about our deal, he probably decided to come and mess with us," the demon growled.  
"Why doesn't he like you?"  
"It's a demon thing, you wouldn't get it. But he has way too much time on his hands if this is what he's deciding to do at the moment."  
"Why is he even in the woods to begin with?"  
"Because the woods are where jerks hang out, Pine Tree."  
"But we come in here all the time…"  
"You're the exception. Now be quiet, we're here."

There was a tall tree that stood out from the others. It was thin and its bark was much darker than the others surrounding it and filled with millions of cracks. The branches were thin and stripped of its leaves, which had fallen to the floor and were being stood on by a mysterious figure. Dipper decided instantly that he looked like a plague doctor from centuries ago: clad in a long black cloak that covered everything from his shoulders to his feet, a white leather mask was pulled over his head and gathered at the neck. Atop the head was a black top hat and on his face was a black mask. The mask had a long, bird-like beak and a pair of goggles allowed the being to see through the mask – but the glass of the goggles was white and couldn't be seen into from the outside. From the cracks around the glass and metal rings of the goggles leaked an ominous white liquid that ran down the mask. The demon didn't move an inch and didn't even appear to be breathing.

"Aery~" Bill sang the nickname, "Guess who it is~" the other demon said nothing so Bill continued: "That's right, it's me! And look, I brought my little Pine Tree along," he pointed to the vessel he was inhabiting. Aerico continued to stay silent. "Still don't talk much, do you?" Bill said, dropping the arms to his side lazily.  
A sudden queasiness filled Dipper's stomach but the dream demon didn't notice. "Bill," the brunet spoke but was forced to stop when a sharp pain stabbed through his abdomen; he dropped onto his knees once more and started gagging involuntarily over the floor – he had nothing left to throw up after the long day.  
"Pine Tree," he looked up with blurred vision and Bill was by his side, looking at him. His head was pounding again and felt like it might explode, every inch of his body was in agonizing pain, and he was unable to breathe through his running nose. Reaching up a shaky hand to wipe at the liquid pouring from his nostrils, he dropped it down again to stop himself from falling over and noticed the red on his hand.  
Next to him, Bill was in his triangular form, seething and staring at the other demon. The human couldn't see the dream demon's large, red eye or the flame engulfing his entire shape, nor could he hear the dark, angered words that left the entity: " **I'm going to** **kill you.** " Aerico still did nothing. "Sorry about this Pine Tree, but I'm gonna have to use you for a moment," he said and took the reins of the boy's body.

The pain dulled slightly, but enough for the brunet to focus on what was happening: Bill was moving his body and standing him up. He could sense the boiling, bubbling rage that belonged to the being but said nothing. A hand reached up to wipe away the blood that dripped from his nose and flick it onto the floor; the immortal then coughed once and spat out more of the metallic, red liquid onto the grass, looking at it in disgust and clear anger. Fists igniting in an azure flame, Bill shot a hateful glare at Aerico before storming toward the other in a steady, quick pace and lifting a fist back, ready to strike the other. The moment he brought the fist back, however, the other demon's form transformed into a black smoke that moved back into the cluster of trees, away from the duo. Bill chuckled darkly before gathering his strength in one arm and pushing the tree aside in one swift, easy motion, "a game of hide and seek?!" he shouted to Aerico, a crazed laugh accompanying the statement. "I'll play – ready or not, here comes Bill!" He pushed aside various trees easily, each one toppling over and pulling up roots. Wiping away more blood that had dripped from the boy's nose, he grinned briefly when his demonic eyes spotted the usually shape of Aerico's usually unseen form and spat out more blood. He dashed toward it instantly, fists still alight, and watched as the human form of the other demon came into existence: its claws were outstretched in a clear attempt to take him by surprise and do damage to Dipper's body. He stopped just before he could and instead wrapped his vessel's small hands around the other's wrists and burnt the demon, who recoiled instantly and sunk down. Aerico's body dripped down into a black puddle on the floor and he reappeared behind the duo, clawing at the boy's back viciously before he could turn around. Bill spun his body around and swept an arm out in an arc, the disease demon's form was knocked in the same direction by an invisible force and was knocked against a tree, knocking the big plant over. The other transformed back into a murky mist that travelled through the maze of trees once more, which the dream demon followed without hesitation. "Don't be such a coward, Aery," he laughed sarcastically, spitting the nickname bitterly. He was lead deeper into the forest for a moment before coming to a stop, having lost the other demon. Standing with his back against a tree – so Aerico couldn't sneak up on him – he scanned the area thoroughly, looking for the familiar black gas that only he could see. He caught sight of it quickly and held up a flaming palm. "Found you," he muttered more to himself, grinned and reached back his arm before launching a cerulean ball of hot fire toward the disease demon.

As soon as the ball hit its target, the shadowy gas burst into flames, too – it transformed back into its human form in an effort to stop the flames and probably searing pain. But it made no noise. I continued to switch forms desperately in hopes of extinguishing the demonic fire that licked at its body. Bill and Dipper stood for a long time, simply watching Aerico writhe in pain and desperation, staring in morbid fascination as the scene played out. After a long minute, the sizzling had stopped and its once human form was only a murky puddle on the floor. From the puddle scurried a small rat, coated in the grotesque substance that had been the demon. Bill moved the boy's body forward and stamped violently on the rat's fragile body. It squeaked in pain before dying.  
"Well, that was fun," he grinned. The brunet's teeth were red and drenched in blood, and more of the red liquid dripped from his nose.  
"Bill…" Dipper muttered weakly and it was only then that the immortal noticed how dangerously slow the heart rate was. As soon as the demon gave back control of the body, it collapsed onto the floor, eyes fluttering shut.  
"Oh Pine Tree, look at the mess I made of you," he snapped his fingers and a golden line of magic wove around the teen's body, bringing him back from his near-death state almost instantly. "Can't have you dying just yet," he muttered to himself. Floating closer to Dipper, he spoke: "C'mon, kid. You've been sleeping all day and you're perfectly healthy now, so you have no reason to be asleep. Wake up." He glanced over the human's body and couldn't help but think that the boy looked much better bloody than not – but what human didn't? It certainly made things much more interesting. "Maybe I should go around killing things in your body more often," he laughed.  
Dipper hummed and his eyes flickered open softly. Sitting up and rubbing his head, he said: "it's over now, right? I'm not gonna die or anything?"  
"Nope."  
"Good," he glanced down and noticed his own bloodied clothes, "seriously? How did you end up getting blood on my pyjamas? It's so gross."  
The demon laughed, "I think it suits you."  
"It doesn't, it's disgusting. Now can I go back to the shack? I'm starving and I wanna get this horrible taste of puke out of my mouth," he grimaced.  
"Sure thing, Pine Tree," he took the other's hand and teleported them back to the shack.

"See you tomorrow, kid," he said and disappeared.  
"Bye," he spoke before walking into the gift shop. "Hey Wendy," he greeted when he saw her.  
"Hey, man. You okay?" she put down the magazine she'd been reading and looked at him with her usual relaxed smile – however the smile was wiped away when she took in his appearance: "whoa, dude. What happened, are you hurt?"  
"No, I'm fine, it's nothing," he said.  
"You sure, man? Blood is never a good thing."  
"Yeah, I'm okay. I should go change into something clean though."  
"Alright, if you say so. Are you feeling better today, by the way? Yesterday you seemed pretty out of it."  
"Oh yeah, sorry about that. I had an argument with Mabel and wasn't too happy…"  
"Hey, it's fine. I get it, me and my bros argue all the time. But we always settle it with an arm-wrestle. Bet you can guess who always wins _those_ arguments," she joked.  
He laughed before saying goodbye and heading upstairs to change.

* * *

 **Aerico on Wikipedia:** **wiki/Aerico  
** **Bad annotations for Aerico:** **art/Aerico-598422555**

 **Thanks to the person who requested this. I feel a bit bad for liking this chapter so much, just because Dipper is in so much pain throughout it xD.  
Also, I want to say thanks to all of you who review on so many of my chapters! You know who you are! Most of you are guests, so I can't reply to your comments in a PM, and I really wish I could because I don't like replying in A/Ns like some authors. If you get a FF account, I will definitely reply to all reviews though ;D  
**

 **Also, I wanted to say about the whole 'Bipper' scenario. I'm getting a lot of mixed reviews where some people are like: "Sail the ship forever, it shall not sink!" (something like that...) and then others are like "Fire the cannons! We must sink the SMS Bipper as soon as possible!" (Great metaphor, I know.) But I'm not sure what to do anymore. I don't have a preference so please don't say I should do what I want to do. I want to do what makes you all happy, because when you're happy, I'm happy :D (Cheesiest thing I've ever said.)**

 **And here is a little rant about the mess that is me. I was reading over the plan for this chapter - the one I wrote before this chapter was fully written like this - and thought: 'what the hell is wrong with me?' I wish I could show you the stuff I write for my plan, I'm not sure if you'd all find it funny or worrying or whatever. I don't even know how I make a plan from it... In fact, I think I'll make this A/N 358 words longer and just copy and paste my plan here. Here you go: It's like meme plans and bad spelling:**

* * *

 **So basically, Dipper is going to wake up ill – with a flu or something, I don't know – and it turns out that Aerico is behind it. That son of a… (Except he's in his unseen form, not the human one.) Soon, Bill shows up for one of their daily adventures and Dipper's like: "Yo dawg, too ill. Can't venture the G to the Fs today, so let's does it tomoz, yeah bruh?"**

 **But then Bill is all like: "Nah, m8. I no wot is happenin' here, it's that famalam of a demon. He's around here somewhere, I'll go find that son of a Bieber and make him take ur ill away."**  
 **Dipper's like: "much grammar, such good." Cause lol, yolo.**  
 **Bill is gon be like: "IKR, LOL. (yes in caps haha) anyways Palm Tree, I has this gr8 thing for u to drink, it'll make you not as ill so we can go find Aerico. It's called heroine!"**  
 **"Lol no," Dippy Not-So-Fresh is gon say.**  
 **"Jk, here ya go, coconut tree. I'll posess u so we can go find ze demon togethers like real fam" lliB hehpiC would say.**  
 **And Dipz wud agree just for plot. Idk if Mabel is gonna go, I have not decided yet.**  
 **So our favourite Tree boy and illuminati-overlord Bill are gonna go look for our best buddy Aerico – whose name is faboosh – and Billy gon be like "you make Dipsy ill, you make me ill- and I'm bout to puke tiny little doritos all over your weird human body!"**  
 **Then Aerico can be like: "Haha, I can't talk," so really just stay silent and look like an idiot. But he'll be like "WINGARDIO LEVIOSAAAA" and make Dipsalooloo be sick.**  
 **Bill's gon get extra, super, mega, really, extremely peed off nd be like "YOU SHALL NOT PASS, DAWG!" and he kills Aerico. Or maybe just throw him into the volcano from whence he came or whatever, or maybe he'll banish him into Ford's portal. Does that still work? Meh, I don't care. I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. In the end, Dipper gets better. That's all.**

* * *

 **Yes, that's the real plan I wrote for this chapter. I feel like I could make some terrible parody series of this fic and of the series just by uploading my plans as stories. This is officially the longest A/N ever for me. Sorry!**

 **Thanks for reading. Please review, favourite, etc. if you liked this chapter! Thanks ;D**


	12. Spiritus Felinus

**Check it out, I finally finished the cover art! ;D (Yes, I drew Bill and Dipper myself. But I got lazy and cheated by just getting a picture of GF's woods from Google, haha.)  
Anyways, here's some important main plot:**

* * *

"Hey kids," called a gruff voice. The duo looked up from the TV to their Grunkle Stan who was standing in the doorway; "I need you to go get some stuff from the store," he said.  
"Aw, what? But we're halfway through an episode of 'Why You Ackin so Cray Cray?' can't we go later?" Dipper complained.  
"No. Here's a list and some cash, now get going. If you don't have enough money for it all then make sure you don't get caught when you run out of the store with it," he handed them a short list and a twenty-dollar note.  
"Oh, now I can get more puffy stickers! I ran out last night," Mabel quipped. She had spent the previous night making a suit of armour from tin foil and stickers and had tested it out by jumping down the stairs from the top. "It didn't work very well," she muttered to herself, rubbing her sore elbow.  
"Alright, we'll go." Dipper said and stood up, taking the list and reading it over. "What do you need a black ski mask for?" he asked, raising an eyebrow in question.  
"Uh, nothing you need to worry about. Now hop to," Stan pushed them out of the door quickly.  
"Alright," Dipper sighed as the door shut behind them, "let's go."  
"Yay! Store adventures! I'm gonna buy _everything!"_ his sister cheered enthusiastically and ran down the path with her arms flailing around carelessly.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

"Alright, luckily we had enough for everything," Dipper mused as they left the store with a bag each.  
"And I got some more puffy stickers!" Mabel said.  
"Why did you ever think that puffy stickers would work as armour?" he laughed.  
"Stickers are love. Stickers are life. Those are the two commandments of the sticker Bible, Dipper. I must live by them," she spoke in a serious tone before breaking out in a fit of giggles. A packet of stickers dropped from the girl's bag and she stopped to pick it up. Glancing back, she spoke to her twin: "hey, look, bro-bro. It's a cat," she smiled and placed the stickers back in the bag. "Hey there, little guy. What's your name?" she knelt down to look at the black cat that sat in front of her; its violet eyes stood out clearly.  
"Mabel, come on," Dipper called her.  
"But look at him, he's so cute!" Mabel gushed, stroking the feline's head.  
"I think you mean she," the cat suddenly quipped, surprising the girl enough for her to fall back onto her behind. Its voice was one that sounded like a young woman's elegant one while simultaneously being nonchalant and mischievous.  
"What? Did you just speak?" Mabel asked.  
"No, you're hearing things," it replied sarcastically.  
"You did! Dip-dop, look! It's a talking cat," she called him over and he approached quickly.  
"A talking cat?" he asked, "how does that work?"  
The feline hummed in what could have been amusement, "it's always so amusing seeing you humans try to work those brains of yours when you see a talking cat."  
"How can you talk? Are you magic?" Mabel asked.  
"No, not magic. I'm a spiritus felinus, perhaps you've heard of them?" Both humans shook their heads to show that they hadn't, "I didn't think so. We're quite rare."  
"What's a spiritus felinus? I've never read about it in the journal," Dipper asked.  
"I doubt you'll have read about it anywhere. Spiritus felinus are two spirits, a human's and a cat's, that agree to work together in a single body; the cat's body. However, we are so rare because we exist purely to stop deals between humans and demons and not many cats can feel such a hatred for demons like humans can."  
"O-oh, uh…" Dipper stuttered at the mention of a deal with a demon. "Why do you hate demons so much?"  
The cat hesitated; "Amy's wedding."  
"Who's Amy? Is that your name?" Mabel asked.  
"No, I am Bella. Amy was the human, my owner. When Amy was young, she had a doll. It was a magical doll called Cornelius, but it was quickly forgotten about when Amy received me as a pet for her fourteenth birthday. Amy and I… we grew very close very quickly, and on her wedding day, I was made the Maid of Honour," she smiled as she remembered the day. "But Cornelius quickly became jealous, becoming a dark magic holder and soon, a demon. He ruthlessly killed everyone at the wedding… everyone except for me. Amy's spirit was lucky enough to be able to bond with mine and was able to inhabit this body alongside me; that granted me the ability to talk. We swore an oath to make sure no one suffers like we have."  
"Wow…" Mabel uttered, "what about Amy? Can she talk, too?"  
"Yes, but she refrains from doing so because she feels like she's invading my personal space."  
"Why are you telling us all of this?" Dipper suddenly asked.  
The cat shot a sharp look at him, "Amy and I have advanced knowledge on demons, we're trying to stop you humans from forming deals with them," she narrowed her violet eyes at the boy, "that includes one Bill Cipher."  
"How do you know about Bill and Dipper's deal?" Mabel asked.  
"As a cat, I can sense a demon's presence, their aura, scent, things like that. This boy is smothered in it, unfortunately."  
"What's that supposed to mean?" the boy snapped, quickly becoming annoyed with the animal.  
"No worries, it's not an issue. We can still fix you… what did say your name was? Dipper?"  
"What do you mean 'fix me?' I don't need to be fixed. I get that you're trying to help people so they don't end up stuck in a cat's body, but really- I don't need help."  
"Dipper!" Mabel scolded her brother, annoyed with how rude he was being.  
"I am trying to help you, you foolish human. How can a being thought to be so smart be so blind? Demons are evil and cannot be trusted," Bella spat back.  
"Thanks but I don't think Bill is going to kill me any time soon. But hey, if I get stuck in a cat's body, I know where to look," the boy retorted. "Mabel, I'm going back to the shack, are you coming?"  
The girl looked at Bella and then back to her brother; both were seething with anger. But if Bella and Amy really did know as much about demons as she claimed, then perhaps she could help with getting rid of Bill… "Not yet, I'll meet you there," she replied.  
He huffed and spun around, storming back along the path to the shack with both shopping bags in hand.  
"I'm sorry, he's not normally like that. That was really unlike him," Mabel apologised.  
"It's fine. Most likely a side effect from spending time with the demon," Bella said.  
"What was you talking about when you said Dipper was 'smothered in it?'"  
"A presence or aura of some kind is surrounding your brother. You might think of it as a warning to other creatures, telling them not to touch his possessions."  
"Possessions? Are you saying Bill thinks he owns Dipper?" her eyebrows furrowed in confusion and worry.  
"It's probable, but we can't be sure. How long has the deal existed for?"  
"Not long, just over a week. Nine or ten days maybe? I've tried loads to make him break the deal but he won't, no matter what I say… I'm really worried about him because he keeps going out with Bill and doing God knows what every day."  
"What is your name?"  
"Mabel."  
"Mabel," the feline hesitated before continuing, her voiced lowering an octave. "There is no need to worry. We will find a way to protect your brother, I promise to help you as much as I can."  
"Thank you," the girl smiled. "What's Amy like?" she asked, looking to make small-talk.  
"Very quiet. She is different from me in every way so it's surprising that we could have become such close friends back before…" she paused, "our only common interest is our distaste for demons."  
"Doesn't she get annoyed with being stuck in a cat's body? I mean, not to be rude or anything, I just- "  
"It's fine. She was worried at first, of course, but quickly grew accustomed to this view of things. Nothing is black and white in our life," she chuckled.  
Mabel laughed too before getting back to the subject at hand: "so do you know how we can break Dipper's deal with Bill?"  
"If you can't get one of the two to break it themselves, then there are other ways it can be done. One of the ways is to kill one of them, but I doubt you'd kill your own brother and a demon can only be killed by another demon so that's out of the question." She hummed in thought for a short moment. "There's always the option of an exorcism, but it's a long process. It was made for ghosts but can be used on a demon just as well."  
"An exorcism? You mean that thing that Jewish people do to baby boys when they're born? I don't think we could do that to Bill," Mabel said.  
"No, that's a circumcision not an exorcism," Bella bit back. "I'm sure it wouldn't be possible to circumcise a demon, anyway," she quipped.  
"Then what's an exorcism?"  
"Purging a spirit - or in this case a demon – from a body that it is possessing. The process would require that Bill Cipher takes control of the boy's body, though."  
"He does that all the time, anyway so it won't be too hard. It's… it's not gonna hurt Dipper is it?"  
"It shouldn't. It depends how deep he's gotten into this mess…"  
"Oh…"  
"But judging by the short amount of time it has been, it shouldn't harm him at all," Bella reassured.  
"Let's go talk to Great Uncle Ford back at the shack, I bet he can help. He knows all about this sort of stuff and could help us get all the stuff we'd need," Mabel chirped. "And there are always rats there too if you're hungry."  
"How disgusting, I don't want to eat _rats._ My fellow feline might enjoy it, but I don't."

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Halfway through the quiet, short journey home, a cheerful voice cut through the silence: "hey, Pine Tree. What y' doing out here?"  
"Hey," Dipper replied simply. "I was shopping."  
"Oh. Buy anything fun?" the boy didn't reply so he spoke again; "cat got your tongue?"  
"Something like that."  
Bill summoned his magic and lifted the bags from the boy's grasp to float alongside them as they moved; "what, you have another argument with Shooting Star?"  
"No," he sighed, "we saw this weird talking cat on the way back from the store. The spiritus felinus or something like that."  
"Oh. I know who you're talking about. Bella, she's the most annoying cat of them all; and I love cats. Let me guess, she told you about her wedding tragedy, Cornelius, and Amy? The entire mess that is her life?"  
"Yeah, and she wouldn't shut up about how demons are evil, she said about our deal and that she was going to 'fix me,' whatever that means. She was so annoying," he gestured wildly with his hands, venting his frustration into the motions. "I don't need to be fixed," he muttered.  
"Jeeze, she has one bad experience and now she's hell bent on getting rid of every demon in the world," he laughed. "Y'know, there's a saying: don't bother fixing what's broken when you can get somebody else to do it for you!"  
"And what does _that_ mean?"  
"It means that you don't need to be fixed. And even if you did, I'd be the one to do it for y', kid," he patted the boy's head gently.  
He sighed again, "right. So how do you know her?"  
The immortal hummed in fake consideration, "I may or may not have been the one responsible for giving demonic powers to Cornelius. That was pretty fun while it lasted, but now she's just annoying. Cornelius isn't even around anymore, he always told these _terrible_ jokes so in the end I just got rid of him."  
"Oh, uh… Okay?" Glancing up, he spotted the shack in the distance, "I should take those bags now. Everyone would get a bit weirded out if they were just floating like that," he took a hold of the bags when they floated down next to him. "So what did you plan on us doing today?" he asked Bill.  
"That's a surprise for later, Pine Tree. Oh yeah, make sure you don't bump into Sixer; he always talks for ages and I'm impatient, I don't want to wait."

Walking into the shack, he carried the bags into the kitchen and found Stan in there; "Oh, hey Dipper. Where's your sister?" the man asked.  
"She saw a cat and decided to stay back for a while and pet it," Dipper replied.  
"Ah, I don't expect to see her for a good couple hours then," Stan chuckled. "Did you get any change for all this, or did you actually have to shop lift it all?"  
"No, I got a couple dollars, here," he handed the change to the other.  
"Thanks, could you gimme a hand putting all of this away?"  
"Sure," he started unpacking the bags and placing each object in their respectable places. Eggs in the fridge, bread in the cupboard and next to the new box of cereal, his sister's stickers were put into his pocket.  
"Thanks, kid. Now get lost, I don't need you scaring away the customers," he pushed the boy outside jokingly and the two laughed about the statement for a moment before the teen made his way upstairs. In his shared bedroom, he dropped the large packets of stickers onto Mabel's bed and fetched his journal from its place.

Heading back downstairs, he wasn't surprised with his luck of bumping into Ford.  
"Dipper, where are you now going?" the man asked.  
"Great Uncle Ford, I'm not in the mood for a lecture right now. I'm just going out," he tried to sidestep the other but the elder man only stepped in his way again.  
"We need to talk down in the basement. Come with me, it's very important."  
"Just tell me now if it's that important, I want to go."  
"I can't, I- "  
"Then I'm just going to go. I can't be bothered to listen to what you want to say anymore, Great Uncle Ford," he quickly brushed past Ford and made his way out of the shack with a muttered goodbye.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

"This is the Mystery Shack?" Bella asked once they arrived.  
"Yup, this is where me 'n' Dipper stay every summer," Mabel confirmed as they walked into the building. "Grunkle Stan, Great Uncle Ford, I'm home!" she shouted out.  
"Hey, kid," Stan called somewhere from within the house.  
"Mabel," said another voice; "have you seen Dipper?"  
"Oh, Great Uncle Ford I wanted to talk to you, actually. Dipper came back here, isn't he back yet?"  
"He came back but left again. I wanted to talk to him, so I was hoping you might have bumped into him or know where he's gone."  
"He's probably out with Bill again," she sneered. "We actually wanted to talk to you about them, this is Bella and Amy," she gestured to the small, black cat by her feet.  
"Just Bella will suffice," the cat spoke.  
Ford raised an eyebrow, "a talking cat? Where did you find her?"  
"On the way back from the store. Can we talk in the basement?"  
"Of course," he led the other two down into the basement, once down there he sat in a chair and faced the two; "what did you want to talk about?"  
"It's about Bill and Dipper; we think we have a way to break the deal. Bella told me about it, we can exorcise Bill when he controls Dip-dop, next," Mabel said enthusiastically.  
"The cat told you? Mabel, do you realise how unreliable this information could be?"  
"No, she's not just a cat," she argued and Bella proceeded to retell the story that she'd told the twins earlier that day.

"Mabel," Ford said once Bella had finished, "need I tell you that exorcisms only work for ghosts?"  
"No. They can work just as well with demonic possessions, however you would need to be both mentally and physically strong to be able to perform it as it is much more difficult than a ghost exorcism," the feline explained.  
"Perhaps…" the man trailed off. "Yes, it might work," he snatched a blank piece of paper and began to frantically scribble down notes and various symbols. "Each demon has its own symbol. Bill, being a very strong demon, has a very complicated one…"  
Bella continued the line of thought; "if we can recreate a larger, flawless version of it then it should work. With the correct spell, we can trap him in it to stop him from escaping."  
"Oh, like those weird pentagram thingies in that TV show about the two brothers who hunt stuff?"  
"Exactly," Ford confirmed.  
"Yay, we can be like the real life Winchesters!" Mabel cheered, "so it'll work?"  
"Yes, however there is one issue," Ford said.  
"What's that?"  
The feline in the room answered; "a demonic exorcism requires a lot of magical power. It isn't something you can do on the spot."  
"What does that mean?"  
"It might take a few months to prepare," Ford replied.  
"Months?! But we need to do it now," the girl cried.  
"I know, but this is the best we can do. If we put in enough effort, we should be able to perform the exorcism before the summer is over," Ford assured.  
"I hope so…" Mabel said.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Later that afternoon, Dipper returned to the shack much happier than he'd been when he left. "I didn't get much down about it though, could you hang around for a bit and help me with it?" he asked the triangular demon floating by his side.  
"Sure thing, Pine Tr- " he halted in his words when they reached the door of the shack, pausing for a moment. "You have got to be kidding me," he then said.  
"What?" Dipper asked, his hand on the doorknob as he glanced back at the other. Twisting the knob, he entered the shack and was greeted by his sister immediately:  
"hey Dipper!" she shouted happily and he yelped in surprise. "Look, Bella is here too!" she gestured to the feline by her feet.  
"Afternoon, Dipper," she greeted him. "Cipher," she glared at the demon.  
"Good to see you too, you mangy fur ball," Bill remarked sarcastically.  
"Whoa, you two know each other?" Mabel asked.  
"Unfortunately," Bella said.  
"Why are you here?" Dipper asked the cat. He'd calmed down a lot since the last time they'd spoken.  
"I told you, I'm going to fix you," she replied.  
Before the boy could retort, Bill did it for him: "Pine Tree doesn't need fixing, you over-sized rat. Now if you'll excuse us," he disappeared to take control of the teen's body and lead him out of the room, a smile plastered over the usual frown.  
"Bill!" Mabel called after him, "stop controlling my brother, you isosceles monster," she complained.  
"Cipher, release the boy from your deal immediately," Bella also called and the two chased after them.  
Bill spun the boy on his heels quickly, facing the feline and the other human. The smile was still there when he spoke; "or else what? What're you gonna do, kitty cat? I don't see you being able to do much good: if you could, why am I still here? Why did everybody die at that tragic wedding? If you're such a great hero, why is your owner dead?"  
Bella pounced at him then, trying to dig her claws into his flesh as she released her anger on the demon before her. He caught her easily, however, in one hand and held her up by the scruff of the neck while laughing sadistically. He looked at Mabel, then and said: "hey Shooting Star, remember what happened with the cadon? How about an encore, just for old time's sake?"

His free hand set alight in a blue flame and he slowly moved it dangerously close to the feline in the other fist, grin still adorning his features. Mabel jumped on him and tackled him to the ground; Bella fell from the demon's grip and the flame extinguished while he wrestled the girl.  
"Kids, what's going on?!" shouted a gruff voice, one that Mabel recognised as Stan's. He ran over quickly and pulled the girl from her brother's body and stood between them; "what were you doing?!"  
"Just having some good ol' sibling fun," Bill replied sarcastically, grinning ear to ear.  
"Get out of Dipper's body, you- " Mabel shouted and looked ready to pounce again but was stopped by her Grunkle.  
"No, I don't care what's going on but Dipper, you go to your room. Mabel, living room. Now."  
"But, Grunkle Stan," Mabel tried to argue.  
"No buts except yours in that living room," he pointed to the room.  
"See y' later, Shooting Star~" Bill sang before quickly taking her brother's body upstairs to their shared room.  
The girl stormed into the living room with a quietened Bella in tow.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

"What was that?" Dipper complained once he was in his bedroom and had regained control of his body. "Why did you do that?! I don't want you threatening people in my body, especially not my family," he fumed.  
"Pine Tree, you can't just let these people walk all over you like you are. You gotta stand up for yourself, and I'm helping you do that," Bill tried to persuade. He was leaning back in the air and floating over the boy's bed, checking his nails.  
"No, that wasn't standing up for myself. That was plain cruel, you didn't need to do that!" he paced the room to vent his anger.  
The demon's pupil left his hand and drifted up to the boy. "Pine Tree," he said and disappeared in a golden flash. He instantly reappeared next to the boy again and rested an arm on the human's head idly; "Pine Tree," he repeated once more to make sure he had the other's attention. He tapped on the boy's head once over the cap, "you should really listen to me more," he tapped again, "you know I'm right," and again, "don't you?" and again.  
The other was quiet for a moment as if sorting through the different things in his mind. Hadn't this happened before? The constant _tap-tap-tapping_? ' _Of course it has,'_ a small voice said in the back of his head, but it wasn't Bill's. It was his own; ' _you should've broken the deal when you had the chance,'_ it said. "Yes," he said. He wasn't sure if he was answering the demon or agreeing with his own subconscious. "Right," he agreed again. "Can you help me fill in the journal?" he then asked, forgetting about the previous subject entirely.  
"Of course I can, Pine Tree."

* * *

 **Thanks to the person who requested this, it helped get some more plot in there. There isn't a Wikipedia page because this was from the person's imagination, and I didn't do a 'bad annotations' thing because I'm sure you can all imagine what a cat looks like.  
** **I am updating this story really fast, aren't I...  
** **Next chapter will have Bill and Dipper's adventure that was mentioned in this chapter. Do me a favour, guys, and request something? I enjoy writing reviews so much more than finding my own things and I've finally run out of requests to write. Also; who got the Supernatural reference? I hope someone did, haha.**

 **To that person who said they laughed at the previous chapter's plan, I have something for you... Here is this chapters plan!**

* * *

 _ **Stan's gonna send Mabel and Dipper to Walmart (or whatever shops in America are called) and yeah, they go. So our twins are gonna go to the shop and buy some Pitt cola, eggs, toilet paper, other pointless stuff that will never be relevant… but on the way back, Mabeline is gonna see our lovely Spiritus Felinus, Bella/Amy and is gonna be like: "Dipser, take a lookie lookie. It's a dog."**_  
 _ **Dippsy is gon be like: "Mabes, that's a kat. Get ur facts right, lol"**_  
 _ **"Get rekt, Dippo," says Mabely. "We gon getz bad luck from the kat cause it's black."**_  
 _ **"lebaM, dunt be racist 2 the kat."**_  
 _ **"Lol, k."**_  
 _ **Den, Bella is gon speek nd b like: "U humanz r so dum. I is a spiritus felinus, and I protect the people from evil demons."**_  
 _ **Dippy can say: "Oh. Wot a coincidence, bro."**_  
 _ **Ma-bell says: "Well well well well well well well… WELL. Dipperoo, would U look at that?"**_  
 _ **So they just have some weird conversationnn about demonic demons and Billy-do-da.**_  
 _ **Dipp's eventually gon get annoyed bout somethin (something stupid. I'll wing it as I write, haha) and b lik: "Damn, Daniel. Back at it again the white vans- Get rekt, Dipper out." And leaves.**_  
 _ **The girl from our Disney Duo of Dying Doritos is gon stay wid Bellamy (That's her new name now, haha) and be like: "I like trains." Then gets hit by a train like asdf movies. Jk, she can be like: "U halp me 2 get rid off Bill?"**_  
 _ **Belamy will say: "sure thing, bbes. I can't do it myself because plot but U should do an exorsism."**_  
 _ **"U mean like Jewish peeps do?" says Mabel.**_  
 _ **"Lol no, U idiot. Not a circumcise-m, an exorsise-m. It get rid of BillyBoo for good."**_  
 _ **"Oh, k lol. U come 2 shack with me and we talk 2 Fordsy."**_  
 _ **"Kks," and they go bk 2 the shack-of-mystery-which-makes-couples-break-up-when-they-go-somehow-haha-yeah.**_  
 _ **Wen they get their, Bill gon b wid Dipper and be like: "OOOOOOOOOOOO. Look, it's a kitty kat. Hahaha, I kill U now, katkat."**_  
 _ **Except he doesn't yet and Bellamy can be like "O~O looook. It's Bill, I no U, bro."**_  
 _ **Then they hve banter. Squad goals, ha.**_  
 _ **In the end, Bill might send Bellamy somewhere or do something and Mabel is gon talk to Ford bout an exorcise-m.**_  
 _ **But Ford's gon be like: "Could take months, bro. But I gon do it… For Nando's. I mean Dipper, for Dipper. And maybe Nando's."**_  
 _ **"FOR DIPPER!"**_

 _ **End off chapper xxx**_

* * *

 **I don't always keep 200% to my plan... I originally planned to have Bella/Amy die or something but I thought that was a bit mean and that she could help in future chapters. So yeah, look out for more of her!  
** **I've noticed that in most of these chapters, there's at least one argument. I need to fix that. Let's hope for happier days for our Gravity Squad - that's what they're called now.**

 **Anyways, enough ranting. Thanks for reading; please review, favourite, etc. if you liked this chapter! ;D**


	13. Phoenix

**What Bill and Dipper did in the previous chapter when they left.**

* * *

As he headed back downstairs, he wasn't surprised with his luck of bumping into Ford.  
"Dipper, where are you now going?" the man asked.  
"Great Uncle Ford, I'm not in the mood for a lecture right now. I'm just going out," he tried to sidestep the other but the elder man only stepped in his way again.  
"We need to talk down in the basement. Come with me, it's very important."  
"Just tell me now if it's that important, I want to go."  
"I can't, I- "  
"Then I'm just going to go. I can't be bothered to listen to what you want to say anymore, Great Uncle Ford," he quickly brushed past Ford and made his way out of the shack with a muttered goodbye. He ignored all of the calls from the man behind him.  
"Good job, kid. There's no way I want to wait for sixer to finish his eternal rant when you wouldn't even listen. Especially down in his basement, it bugs me that he put a spell around it," Bill said as they crossed the border into the forest.  
"What, you don't like _not_ knowing something for once?" Dipper snorted.  
"I just don't trust what he's doing down there," the demon replied seriously.  
"Don't worry, I doubt it's anything. Maybe I'll take a look sometime soon, if you're that paranoid."  
"Maybe I'll get you to do that soon… and I don't get paranoid, Pine Tree. Now shut up," he used his magic to push the pull of the teen's cap down over his eyes and the two laughed briefly.  
"So where are we going?" Dipper asked and the two stopped once they were out of sight of the shack. The other silently reached out his flame-engulfed hand to the boy who immediately took it without hesitation; the world around them was quickly engulfed in a cerulean warmth.

The warmth seemed to linger when the blue fire extinguished and the thirteen-year-old knew that it wasn't a lingering heat from the teleportation. Looking around, his surroundings were bathed in a warm orange, much like the sun but far less welcoming and comforting: there was a fire.  
Spinning around on his heels, he caught sight of a bright fire in a single spot, partially hidden behind a cluster of trees. "Not again," he complained and started to run over to it, leaping over rocks and roots and swerving around trees quickly. As soon as he made it past the final tree and there were no obstacles in his way, he gasped at the revelation before him: it appeared to be a large eagle. Its body was on fire and it writhed in what appeared to be pain, desperate to fly away and extinguish the flames that ate at its black feathers but it seemed to be unable to take flight. Dipper looked around frantically, desperate to find something to put out the fire.  
"Relax kid, just sit back and watch," Bill spoke from beside him.  
"No, I need to find something to put out the fire," the boy replied quickly.  
"It's a phoenix, Pine Tree," the demon laughed and he paused, processing the information. Looking at the burning bird, he asked:  
"is it being reborn?"  
"Yup," he summoned a thread of magic to move the brunet's body to sit against a tree and watch the flames.  
"It looks and sounds… painful," the boy muttered as the dancing flames reflected in his amber eyes while he stared in fascination.  
"Stop worrying, it's probably used to it by now. You know, phoenixes have a life span of one thousand, four hundred years before it's reborn like this."  
The teen whipped out a familiar book from his vest and opened it, "really? Do they do it a certain amount of times before they die properly or does it really carry on forever?" He wrote down the notes that the immortal told him on a clean page.  
"It carries on forever. I'd say this thing is nearly as old as me. Nearly."  
The phoenix released a particularly loud squawk and the human flinched before asking: "are you sure it's okay?"  
"Yup, just focus on writing. I'll help you block out that obnoxious screaming," he lifted a small hand and the screeching was indeed silenced immediately. Looking up, the avian was still writhing dramatically and opening its large beak, but not a sound was emitted. "Anyway, they're generally pretty friendly toward humans, so that means you won't need to start running once this thing is reborn."  
"Good, I don't want to have to run from another creature hell bent on burning me to a crisp," the boy said.  
"Admit it, Pine Tree, the xiuhcoatl was pretty fun to mess with. But this thing is probably so friendly cause it's usually thought to be a guardian of heavenly paradises like heaven itself."  
"Really? I always thought something made of fire would be a guardian of hell if anything."  
"You meat sacks and your stupidly unrealistic expectations," the demon laughed.  
"H-hey, it's not stupid," Dipper flushed with embarrassment, "I mean, you use fire and you're a demon," he defended.

Just before the immortal could respond, the boy was snatched up in a deadly tight grasp between a set of claws. He screamed at the shock as he was carried high above the ground quickly, and when he looked up he spotted an entity that looked like an eagle but its body appeared to be made purely of bright orange flames through which he could slightly see the blue expanse of sky above. The claws snagged in his vest, despite being made purely from fire, had a solid grip on him that he couldn't hope of breaking. The flames burned at the fabric of his clothing, a black smoke rising from the material in an instant; just when he thought the vest would set alight, a voice filled his head and drew his attention away from it. _'Wow, I was not expecting that! You okay, Pine Tree?'_  
"No!" he shouted aloud, "I am not okay! I thought you said these things are friendly to humans, why is it carrying me off somewhere?!"  
' _Heck if I know. Let me give you a hand there,'_ the human's hands lit up with a blue flame and reached up quickly to wrap around the claw snagged on his clothes.  
"No, no! I'll die if I fall from this height!" he yanked his hands away and the blue fire extinguished.  
' _Kid, we established this day one: I'm not going to let you die or get hurt. Trust me, if the thick canopy below doesn't catch you I can still help to cushion the fall.'_ He reached up again, palms once again ignited, and wrapped the human's small hands around the phoenix's claw firmly.

The creature squawked loudly and released the boy from its clutches; he screamed as he fell and closed his eyes to ready for impact. A mixture of rough and soft foliage brushed against the exposed parts of his body and slowed down his fall; he snapped his eyes open when his hands reached out to grab onto a thick branch before they passed it. His body was abruptly swung forward and he felt like his arms might have ripped from their sockets from the sudden force of it, but the pain quickly vanished once his feet hit the grassy floor. Legs shaky, he laughed in an odd mixture of disbelief and gratitude for being alive; "yes! Thank you!" he shouted to no one in particular and raised his arms in a cheer. Bill quickly manifested next to him.  
"Alright kid, you're on your own from here," the demon explained.  
The smile was wiped from the human's face in an instant. "What?"  
"I'll say this quickly before it shows up again. I said that those things protect heavenly places, well it has a kind of natural defence mechanism against demons like me. It probably sensed my presence and that's why it attacked you, so you'll be a lot safer without me around."  
"No way, don't leave me alone with that thing - it could kill me," Dipper argued.  
"Just call me when you need me," the demon dismissed and vanished before the boy could argue further.  
"Bill!" he called into the silence but got no answer. "Bill, this isn't fair!" he tried again. Nothing.

There was a loud thud from behind him and he didn't have to turn around to know what it was.  
He slowly turned in place to face the phoenix and finally got a good look at its new form: a being made purely of fire, it was magnificent in every way. It had the shape of an eagle, its feathers weren't feathers at all but instead flickering flames that licked at the air around them, warming up the atmosphere. Its eyes were black like burnt ashes and stared at him intently. Moving one large talon forward, it stepped closer to him slightly as it inspected him, turning its head every which way in what might have been contemplation.

Meanwhile, Dipper was pondering on what might be his best decision: run and hide or stay and stand his ground. He picked the latter.  
The large bird snapped its head forward to peck at his head once and he winced at the sharp prod; "hey, stop," he complained and waved his hands in an attempt to get it away. "I'm clearly not a demon, so why are you still staring at me?" he said, raising his arms in question. "I'm talking to a giant bird. Great. I need friends," he stated bluntly to himself.  
"I'm not just a giant bird," the phoenix spoke and the human wasn't surprised at the revelation.  
"Of course you're not. Alright, so what's your name?" he said to make conversation.  
"I'm not just going to share my name with some human," it replied although its beak didn't open. Its voice was low and sounded ignorant in every way.  
"Cool, well I'm Dipper," he raised an arm to shake hands - from force of habit in meeting other people - and stepped forward. The aviary squawked and moved backwards quickly.  
"Ew, don't touch me," it said.  
"Why?"  
"You might not be a demon but you're definitely connected with one. No way am I touching you now, you're just evil by association."  
Dipper decided that he didn't like this phoenix. "Oh," he replied simply.  
"Well?" it asked expectantly.  
"Well what?"  
"Well you're meant to be offended. _I_ am a phoenix, aren't you impressed?"  
"Not really. I've had enough of talking animals today and really I've seen plenty of things that are more impressive than you in just the past week."  
" _What?!_ How rude, I'm the most amazing creature in this forest if not the world."  
"Sure thing, buddy."  
"Alright then, I'll prove it," the phoenix said. "Prepare to be bedazzled by Cinder the phoenix," it posed dramatically.  
"Cinder? So that's your name," the boy said. "Alright, show me what you've got," he smirked at the being's enthusiasm.  
"Well, how many creatures have you met that are made of _fire?"_  
"A few. There was that xiuhcoatl last week. Oh, and Onibi."  
"Well what about creatures that can _fly?_ "  
"Pterodactyl."  
"I'm a giant bird!"  
"Griffin."  
"I've been around for generations."  
"Aerico."  
"I have enough strength to knock down any of the trees you see here."  
"Multi-bear."

The phoenix continued to throw various points at the boy, challenging him to find something that could compare to each factor. However, the boy made a mistake in a single word he soon uttered in response.  
"I'm an immortal," Cinder bragged.  
"Bill," Dipper countered. The instant he spoke the entity's name, said being manifested next to him in a bright golden flash.  
"Yes, Pine Tree?" he drawled as he appeared.  
Cinder's black eyes instantly grew into a dark red once Bill had arrived.  
"You've got to be kidding me," Dipper whined.  
"Well, it looks like it's time to go. Don't you agree, kid?" he disappeared to take control of the human's body and was about to turn him on his heels. Before he could get the chance, the avian had jumped onto the teen's body and shoved him to the ground violently, claws forming a cage over his small form.

While the three front talons created a burning, inescapable cage for his upper body, the single one at the back dug into the human's leg, claw digging clean through flesh and bone and fire searing the cells. A sickening crack resounded through the air as the claw broke through the bone. Dipper screamed as pain erupted in the limb and tears cascaded down his face and he desperately tried to pull away; Bill immediately took control to numb the pain to the boy and fight off the phoenix. Wrapping the boy's small hands around the front talons for the second time that day, he ignited his hands in a strong flame that he made sure would hurt. Cinder squawked again and yanked his claws away with another sickening crack, the back talon evaporated the human's blood instantly and Dipper released a pained cry at the wrenching pain. The demon tried to stand in the brunet's body to attack the avian but found that he couldn't; the boy only cried louder. He instead stayed sitting on the floor and glared at the phoenix that made another move to attack; Bill moved an arm to form a cobalt ring of deadly fire around the creature, flames so tall that he could barely see through them. The immortal _desperately_ wanted to cause pain to the phoenix, to kill it and torture it each and every time it rose from the ashes- but he couldn't. Looking down at the human's leg, it was bleeding profusely. He finally decided to summon his magic, a beryl flame consuming the duo to teleport them elsewhere.

Bill gave control of the body back to Dipper once they were far away and the human instantly curled into himself; sobbing loudly from the pain and clutching at his bloody leg in desperation for it to stop. The demon hurriedly wove a blanket of magic around the teen's leg, much stronger than usual to fix it faster, more thoroughly and to stop the seamless tears that decorated the human's face. The gaping hole in the mortal's limb was quickly fixed; the bones had reformed, the cells had regrown, the flesh had been patched over: it was as good as new.  
"There," the demon stated bluntly and looked at the boy's face - Dipper was clearly not in pain anymore, but that didn't slow the tears that fell from his eyes like waterfalls; "why are you still crying, Pine Tree?"  
"I…" the boy started but stopped to sniff and shrug; "I don't know, I just…" he averted the demon's gaze to peer around the area; back in their now familiar clearing, under the tree.  
"It's alright, kid. The phoenix is a long way away, now and isn't gonna hurt you if that's what you're upset about."  
Dipper nodded, "I know."  
"Why'd you even call me in the first place? I thought you were smarter than to call me in front of that thing."  
"Oh," he sniffed and flushed more – if possible with his already red face. "Well, uh… I was talking to him and he was asking about all the other creatures and stuff. He got kinda big headed so I was just telling him about all the other things I've seen that were better than a phoenix."  
The demon laughed, "oh and you brought me up? I'm glad that I'm better than a big flaming bird. So what makes me so much better? Is it my amazing shape? Everyone is jealous of my shape," he bragged jokingly.  
"It was about your immortality," the boy laughed, too and wiped the lingering tears from his eyes.  
"Is that all? I can do way more than that, Pine Tree!" he stated in mock offence.  
"I know," he smiled and put a hand in his vest to pull out the journal. The smile vanished in an instant, "Wait. Where's my journal?" he patted himself down in search for the book.  
"Relax, I've got it here," the immortal's hand burst into flames briefly and they died away quickly to reveal the book. "You should really look after this more, one of these days I'll forget to pick it up, too and you'll have lost it for good."  
The brunet's smile returned instantly and he took the book from the other's hand, thanking the demon. Flicking through the leaves of the book, he opened it to the page on the phoenix and said: "you any good at drawing birds that are on fire?"  
"Sure I am," the other said and took control of the boy's arm, moving it to draw the phoenix.

Soon after the drawing was finished, they decided to head back to the shack in a comfortable silence. Dipper returned to the shack much happier than he'd been when he left. "I didn't get much down about it though, could you hang around for a bit and help me with it?" he asked the triangular demon floating by his side.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Mabel stormed into the living room with a quietened Bella in tow and sat down in front of the TV with a huff.  
"I can't believe him! Always taking control of Dipper's body, it's not fair!" she shouted to herself.  
"What's worse is that the boy didn't seem to protest or even have much choice in the matter. Cipher's got quite a grip on him, it seems," Bella agreed.  
"We can't wait any more, we need that exorcism ready now," Mabel said.  
"Mabel, that's impossible. There are ways to speed up the process but we would never be able to perform it right now, not so quickly."

Stan walked into the room, arms crossed over his chest. "What was that all about, kid?" he asked seriously.  
"It was Bill," Mabel said, standing up. "He keeps taking control of Dipper and making him do stuff. He was about to hurt Bella."  
The man sighed, "of course. Is that what you were talking to my brother about earlier today?"  
The girl nodded.  
"Alright. I told the kid before that as long as that Bill doesn't hurt this family, it's fine. Looks like it's not fine anymore." He turned his back to the brunette and massaged his temples before muttering to himself: "now what are we gonna do?"  
"Me, Great Uncle Ford and Bella all talked about an exorcism earlier, we're gonna do that."  
Stan turned to face her again, "like in those terrible horror movies on TV?" he furrowed his brows in disbelief.  
"Yeah, Great Uncle Ford and Bella both said it should work and they're really smart," she stated.  
"Then what are we waiting for? Let's hop to."  
"We can't, it takes a while to get ready," the girl said.  
"What? Why, what do you have to do?"  
"A bunch of weird magical stuff, I think. I don't know," she said. "Dipper's usually the one who knows that sort of stuff," she muttered quietly to herself.  
"Can't we speed it up?"  
"Somehow, yeah."  
"Then let's start tomorrow. It's too late to go mystery hunting now, but tomorrow we're gonna make sure we have everything we need to get rid of that demon upstairs."  
The girl nodded, determination clearly filling her features. "Yeah," she agreed.

* * *

 **Phoenix on Wikipedia:** **wiki/Phoenix_(mythology)  
(No bad annotations, just Google image it or something.)**

 **Yes, I am in England, that question isn't too personal xD. I might be British, but I hate tea and crumpets. But my stereotypical British accent is perfect. And yes, I do naturally hold out my pinkie finger when I drink because I'm posh. Feel free to ask any more stereotypical British questions, I won't be offended at all (it's very hard to offend me, trust me.)**

 **Sorry I'm not putting up this chapter's plan because it wasn't nearly s good as it always is, I didn't put any weird stuff in it and didn't write 'lol' once, as well as the spelling was all perfect.**

 **Also; question time: would you rather the next chapter include more mystery hunting with monsters (if so I plan on getting Mabel and Dipper in there together probably without Bill cause we need some sibling bonding time.) Or do you want Mabel and co's adventure on finding stuff to help exorcise our favourite dream demon? Please review and I'll do whatever more people want. If no one says anything about it then I'm literally just going to flip a coin.**

 **Big thanks to** **Wanli8970 who's helping me with ideas right now! We've got a deal where she helps me with ideas for these chapters and I write them, that's where the spiritus felinus chapter came from too. So yeah, thank you!  
You're all still welcome to request any creatures that you want and I'll definitely write them ;D.  
**

 **Thanks for reading, please review, favourite, etc if you liked this chapter (and if you haven't already done all of that stuff xD)**


	14. Dream Angel

**Note: This takes place in the same night as the previous two chapters.**

* * *

Eyes snapping open quickly, he was mildly surprised that the sleepiness wasn't clinging to his eyelids and begging him to return to his peaceful slumber. Sitting up on his uncomfortable mattress – which he didn't fail to notice seemed more torn up than usual, - he glanced around his sharp surroundings. In his bedroom, it was darker than he remembered and it wasn't because of the time of day; there wasn't a sun nor a moon outside, no trees of grass or anything: just an empty black void. The room itself was cast in an ominous dark shadow that ate at everything: the floorboards; the bed; the shelves. Even Mabel's posters - despite being their same bright pinks and blues – seemed less cheerful in the dank room. Cobwebs adorned the corners of the room and filled cracks in the walls, but were vacant of the arachnids that usually accompanied them. Slipping off of the creaky bed, he noticed that he was fully clothed, clad in his day clothes, cap and shoes included and his mind went back to the dream in which he'd met Bill. Was he dreaming again? Padding over to the crooked door which was hanging on by a single hinge, he opened it and looked out: instead of the room he was usually greeted by, there was a black void much like the one outside of his window. Leaning over, he glanced down and peered into the void; it appeared to be bottomless. He went back in and closed the squeaky door. "Bill?" he asked, looking around for the familiar triangular shape of the demon.

A bright flash filled the corner of the room, next to Mabel's bed and left multi-coloured splodges once it had lessened. Instead of the dream demon the boy had been expecting, there stood a tall man. Clad in a white button-up shirt and a blue tie, he donned a beige trench coat, a pair of black trousers and black dress shoes. His chocolate hair was short and mildly scruffy, blue eyes pierced the air and stared directly at the teenager.  
"Who are you?" Dipper asked warily, stepping back.  
"My name is Castiel and I am a dream angel," the man – Castiel – replied. His voice was a dull and low monotone that sounded uninterested in the subject.  
"A dream angel?" the teen's brows furrowed.  
"Yes, I don't have much time to talk to you so listen well, Dipper."  
"How do you know my name?"  
Castiel ignored the question; "your deal with Bill Cipher, the dream demon, must be terminated."  
"Why?"  
"Your world is in grave danger; he plans to start the apocalypse once he has obtained a vessel – a physical form."  
"What are you talking about? What apocalypse? Bill wouldn't do that, and honestly probably couldn't. He's a dream demon, but even he has his limits," Dipper defended.  
"No, Weirdmageddon. If he gets a physical form, he will start it and you won't be able to stop it. He will kill everyone and anyone he wants to; he is using you."  
"H- he isn't. You're lying, stop it," the boy denied.  
The man sighed. "Alright then, perhaps I should appeal to your natural human selfishness instead," he muttered to himself. "Your mindscape. Look around it," he instructed and the boy did, glancing around the room carefully. "Surely you've noticed how dark it is, not to mention the black void surrounding this single room."  
"I thought the void was normal…"  
"No. It's a side effect from your deal with Bill Cipher; your mindscape has slowly been deteriorated and broken down to this single point just because of his presence."  
"What?" he clutched his head in a panic, "what does that mean? I don't feel any different, how bad is it?"

Castiel opened his mouth to speak but stopped when another golden flash engulfed the room to reveal Bill wearing an irritated expression. Glaring at Castiel, he spoke to the boy: "hey there, Pine Tree. What y' up to?" despite the lightness of the words, his tone was flat and clearly not amused.  
"Bill, what was he talking about?" Dipper asked. "What's happening to my mindscape?"  
"Nothing you need to worry about. All of the things this guy has said is a lie, kid. Don't believe him." He looked at the thirteen-year-old. "Trust me."  
The boy glanced between each being, unable to figure out who he should believe. _'What if Bill is doing something to my mind?'_ his thoughts echoed in the room for them all to hear.  
"Pine Tree, don't listen to him," Bill snapped. "Do you really think I'm capable of starting an apocalypse?"  
"Don't listen to him, Dipper. He's lying, he's using you." Castiel announced.  
' _But what if Bill is right? What if Castiel isn't an angel, he could be another monster trying to mess with me,'_ the thought echoed through the mindscape again.  
"Dipper, listen to me…" Castiel said.  
"Pine Tree, are you really going to trust him? This stranger? You don't know…"  
The two immortals continued to talk over each other, both trying to persuade the boy. He wanted to run and hide, to not have to deal with this mess and let someone else handle it. "I…" he stepped back again and his back hit against the crooked door, unsure of what to say.  
Bill stopped talking for a moment and Castiel's own pleas could finally be heard clearly; "-if not for the world then at least for your own-" before he could finish the sentence, Bill snapped his fingers and the man disintegrated in a split second.

His entire being vanished in a puff of grey ash.

"What did you do to him?" Dipper asked worriedly.  
"I sent him out of your mindscape. Don't worry, he isn't dead. Unfortunately," Bill replied.  
"What was he talking about when he said about the apocalypse?" the boy asked.  
"Nonsense. He was trying to make you break our deal, he was lying. Like you said, I'm a dream demon. I can't start an entire apocalypse by myself."  
"Then what about the mindscape thing? And it deteriorating?"  
"Calm down, nothing is wrong with your mindscape. You won't go insane, or stop dreaming, or anything like that. You don't even notice it, really."  
"But what's actually happening?"  
"Your mindscape is just adjusting to my presence, that's all." Despite the demon's reassurance, he could see the distrust clouding the boy's amber eyes. The teen lowered his head and fiddled with his own fingers. "Pine Tree," Bill said but the other paid no mind, only continued to stare at the floor. "Pine Tree, look at me," he snapped angrily and the brunet listened this time, head rising quickly to look into the demon's eye. "Do you still trust me?"  
The boy nodded hesitantly. Bill knew he was lying.

Weaving golden strands of magic around the room, it seemed to darken slightly with each moment that passed; Dipper watched for only a second before losing balance and stumbling backward, clutching his own dizzied head. The immortal watched the boy intently, golden orb locked on the human's small figure. After a long minute of silence and once the demon had pulled back his magical influence on the human's mind, he snapped his fingers again.

Dipper jolted up in his own warm bed, sweaty, panting and covers tangled around his legs. Wiping the sweat from his forehead, he glanced around the room; Mabel was in her bed and the moon outside illuminated the clean expanse of their shared room. He noticed the familiar pressure in the back of his head; "Bill?" he whispered.  
 _'Sorry, Pine Tree. You were having a bad dream so I was going to sort it out for you, but you just woke up before I could,'_ the demon lied.  
 _'Oh. Thanks,'_ he thought back.  
' _No problem. Go back to sleep, kid.'  
_ Dipper hummed his acknowledgement.  
 _'Oh and Pine Tree?'  
_ He hummed again to show he was listening.  
' _Do you still trust me?'_  
' _What kind a question is that?'_ he closed his eyes and laid down in his warm bed again, smiling. ' _Of course I do.'_ He welcomed an oblivious slumber once more. He had no recollection of the dream.

* * *

 **Have two uploads together because I wanted Castiel to have his own chapter. (Sorry I had to put him in there.)  
If you're curious about what he looks like just google search ' _Castiel Supernatural'_ cause yes, he's based on a real character. But I didn't bother trying with his speech patterns... **

**Anyways; this chapter's plan:**

* * *

 ** _So basically Pine Boy (Dipser) is gonna wake up in his bedroom except it's not really his bedroom it's his mindscape. He looks around and is like "The hell happened in here, mofo?" cause everything is all weird and creepy and stuff. He doesn't know it's the mindscape until some guy shows up – Jesus. Nah, it's not Jesus, but it's a dream angel! (Shocking, I know. Now be quiet and read on.) Let's just make up how this dream angel is going to look once I start writing, we'll also think of a name then. (Maybe it'll be Castiel? Ha, I'm sticking with that actually.) So Dipper's gonna be like: "Who is U?"_**  
 ** _Castiel is gon say: "I is an angel and I has come 2 steal yo soul m9. Nah, jk- I'm hear 2 warn U of that mofo, Bill."_**  
 ** _"Bill ain't a mofo, mofo. He's my man, and we gon has 69 children someday. Except not really, this isn't a porno fic." That's what Dipper's gonna say._**  
 ** _"Stahp braking the 4th wall, U dumb-dumb," says Castiel._**  
 ** _"Lol, k." Says Dipper._**  
 ** _Then Cassy-L is gonna tell Dipper-loo about Bill's plans with weirdmagedon or however the hell you spell it. (Google to the rescue!)_**  
 ** _Dipper's gon be like, "nah Bill is a cool dude, man. He wouldn't try to end the world, even if he was given super powers like- oh wait he already has super powers and magic, never mind. But I trust him." And let's imagine Pine boy pulling a really weird kinda 'I'm-in-love-omg-I-never-saw-it-coming-but-the-readers-did-damnit' face. That's a face now, of course – inspired by anime and manga everywhere._**  
 ** _Then Cas is like: "why is U humunz so dumb, always making deals with demons. If U won't listen to me, maybe you'll listen to GANDALF THE WHITE!" and Gandalf shows up out of nowhere._**  
 ** _(Let's just delete that bit from the actual story…)_**  
 ** _Then while Cas is still explaining stuff, Bill can show up out of nowhere like: "We'll meet again some sunny day~" (Too soon? I'm so sorry.) he can actually be dancing to that bang bang song by Nicki Minaj or whatever. ("Bang bang into the room!")_**  
 ** _So Bill will be like: "Coconut head, don't listen to Castiel! He iz an evil person and cannot be trusted."_**  
 ** _Things start getting dramatic when Billzy and Cassy start arguing like an old married couple but then Bill's like "haha, I don't even care," and burns poor Castiel. (Don't worry, he isn't dead. He just isn't in Dipper's mindscape anymore!)_**  
 ** _So Bill does the whole tappy-tappy thingy – no not tap dancing – and Dipper's like "Yeah ok, I believe you Bill xxx" with the kisses, too._**  
 ** _Then he wakes up and doesn't even remember the dream at all so he just assumes it was a nightmare._**

 ** _End of chapter x_**

* * *

 **This was a request by a guest I think, so thanks for that. Sorry it took so long.**

 **Thanks for reading, review, favourite, etc if you liked this chapter and haven't done so already ;D**


	15. Vampire

**Here's some sibling bonding for you all ;)**

* * *

"There," Mabel announced and slammed the bottle of chocolate syrup onto the table.  
"Finally," Dipper said. "Alright, both in the middle," he slid his plate into the middle of the table next to his sister's and the two admired their own and each other's work. The previous night's events had been forgotten in favour of a competition; who could make better art on their pancakes using only chocolate syrup.  
"Is that the forest?" Mabel asked as she examined her brother's 'art.' "Boo~ That's so boring, bro-bro!"  
"Hey, at least you can tell what mine is, what is _that?_ " he gestured to the mess that was Mabel's own pancake.  
"It's me and my boyfriend."  
"Boyfriend?"  
"Yeah, my vampire boyfriend when I get one. See, that's me on the left," she pointed to one puddle on the left side of the pancake. "That's him on the right," she pointed to another chocolatey puddle on the right side. "And there's Waddles!" she pointed to a much smaller puddle in the corner.  
"It just looks like you decided to pour the syrup out in three different places," Dipper said.  
"Don't be so rude," she complained in mock offence, " _this_ is art."  
The twins laughed before picking up their utensils and digging into the food – which had now lost most of its heat from having been there for half an hour while the duo decorated it.

"Oh," Dipper swallowed the food in his mouth, "do you wanna go out today? You know, mystery hunting?"  
"I thought you'd go with Bill," Mabel replied dully, clearly unhappy about the subject of the demon.  
"Nah, it's been way too long since it was just us. Besides, I'm pretty sure Bill wants some time alone, too, to go make some more deals or something," the boy replied.  
His sister grinned happily, "alright! Let's go now."  
"Whoa, let's finish our breakfast first," he chuckled.  
She squealed in excitement, "finally, I can't wait! We haven't gone mystery hunting by ourselves since last Summer, can you believe that?"  
"Wow, I guess you're right. Bill's been with us all the time this Summer, hasn't he?"  
"Yeah, now we can do stuff together again," she cheered.

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Once the duo finished breakfast, they headed upstairs to get ready. After cleaning their teeth together, Dipper got dressed while his sister brushed her hair – she then got dressed while he packed his own backpack. She packed her own backpack soon after. As soon as the duo had packed their backpacks with everything they needed, they headed out into the forest together. Dipper had packed his usual things: the journal, a pencil, a torch, a pocket knife he'd been given by Stan for his birthday and a bottle of water. Mabel had also packed her typical 'necessities': a colouring book, colouring pencils, gummy koalas, stickers, more stickers, and hidden in a small compartment was _even more_ stickers.  
"So what do you think we'll find?" the girl asked.  
"Who knows, there could be anything," her brother replied.  
"Do you think we'll see Demetrius? He loved Gummy Koalas."  
"Who's that?"  
"Oh yeah, you weren't with me, were you? He's an abada! It's kind of like a unicorn but with two horns," she gestured wildly to indicate dual horns. "He was so cool, and really nice. He helped me find Waddles when he went missing," she explained.  
"Really? Wow, that sounds cool. How did Waddles go missing in the first place, though?"  
The brunette retold her adventure with Waddles and Demetrius to her brother as they walked.

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After an hour of walking, the two had run out of stories to tell and had resorted to terrible jokes for another hour.  
"What do you call a donkey with three legs?" Mabel asked.  
Her brother sighed and checked his wrist-watch, "Mabel you've been telling jokes for the last hour, how have you not run out yet?"  
"A wonky!" the girl laughed at her own joke, ignoring her twin's complaint. "Get it?" she asked.  
"Yes, just like I got the other ninety or so jokes you've told."  
"Hey look, a cave," she announced suddenly and ran toward it.  
"Mabel!" he shouted after her, "slow down, you don't know what's in there!" he chased after her.  
"But my feet are tired and I wanna sit down," she called back as she reached the cave's mouth.  
She ran inside a couple of meters and turned to face him, "see, Dip-Dop, there's nothing here," she said and raised her arms to gesture to her surroundings.

Suddenly, a pair of pale, bony hands reached out from the darkness behind her. "Mabel, look out!" Dipper tried to warn her and ran in. Just as the girl was about to turn around, one hand wrapped around her mouth and the other around her waist, snatching her away into the inky blackness quickly. "Mabel!" he called and ran after her; he soon fell over a large rock and landed on his knees, grazing them slightly; he was hopelessly lost in the darkness. Reaching back into his backpack, he unzipped it and reached in, fiddling with the contents briefly. His hands brushed over a few different items - the bottle of water and then the small knife – before landing on the object he was searching for. "Aha," he exclaimed as he pulled out a silver, metal torch and zipped up the backpack. Standing up, he fiddled with the torch for a moment to find the switch; once he had found it, he flicked it on and the light illuminated the dank cave, bathing the rocky area in an amber glow. In front of him was a long, rocky path that crawled with insects and was riddled with small pot-holes and cracks, some filled with muddy water. With new-found determination, he ran along the path in search of his twin while making sure to avoid any cracks, loose rocks or pot-holes in the ground; "Mabel!" he called, "don't worry, I'm coming!"

After running for a long minute filled only with the sound of his feet slapping against the floor, he came across a fork in the path. The cave separated into two smaller ones and he had no idea which path to take. Both paths were blocked and boarded up by signs and he read each carefully. The left sign was scrawled over in large block letters;

DO NOT ENTER DEATH IMMINENT

The right sign had on it;

EXIT

Either sign could easily be a trap. "Mabel!" he called again in hopes of guidance from where her voice might come from.  
"Let go of me, you wrinkly butt-face!" he heard his sister shout angrily. The left path.  
Ducking under the threatening sign and boards, he continued on his way down the path. A squeak sounded from above him and he shone his torch up slightly in hopes of finding what made the noise, but before he could see anything, a small mass – about as big as his hand – hit his face. Stumbling back, he dropped the torch and pulled the object from his face. The fallen light now shone on the mass and revealed a black, slightly furry body, leathery wide wings, small feet, large pointed ears upon a small head and a pair of blood-red eyes. He dropped the bat as it started to grow and deform, legs stretching, wings deforming to move onto its back, a pair of arms growing. Soon the bat had transformed into a human – a human with large, leathery bat wings and an ugly, grey snout. Its limbs were still an ashen grey that grew horrifically long, black hairs; its eyes had remained a maroon colour and long black hair grew from its otherwise bald head to look like a Mohawk. The greasy locks of hair reached down to its otherwise bare mid-back. Ears were as pointy as its sharp fangs which poked from its mouth, dripping with saliva. Dipper might have mistaken it for a werewolf if it didn't have the wings and wasn't a bat only moments before.

Hissing, it tried to jump on him and he dodged the attack swiftly, picking up his torch in the process. Dipper heard a quiet hiss of; "stupid wings," and turned to shine the torch on the other being. It was laying on the floor, belly up, and struggling to stand; it's wings must have been very heavy – that or the other wasn't used to its human form. The brunet decided to leave the creature alone and run after his sister.  
"No, let go of me!" Mabel's shouts echoed through the wide cave tunnel, getting louder and louder as he ran; he knew he was close.  
"Don't worry, Mabel, I'm coming!" he assured, shouting down the cave.  
"Dipper!" she shouted back.

He soon reached the end of the long tunnel and entered a large, dark cavern, lining the walls were many coffins. The cavern roof was held up by two huge, rocky columns that supported the ceiling – the ceiling which was painted black from the number of bats that hung from it.  
"Dipper, over he-" Mabel yelled but the end of the sentence was muffled; he shone his torch in the direction it had come from and there was a tall man clad in black robes hovering over his sister, who was tied up tightly in rope and being put in her own black and red coffin. The tall figure turned to reveal deathly white and horribly wrinkled skin with sunken burgundy eyes. Mabel bit the man's hand and he recoiled immediately, "Dipper, he's a vampire!" she said, "and not even a hot one!"  
The stranger hissed when the torch's light washed over him and threw up his arms to defend his face from it; he stumbled back and knocked over the coffin his sister was in. It slowly tipped over before the weight suddenly crashed down into a conveniently-placed river behind it, creating a large splash that spat on Dipper. Inside the coffin, the girl released a quiet ' _oof'_ from the impact as her back was slammed into the wood harshly and her head hit the side of it. The water of the river quickly carried away the wooden container.  
"No!" the vampire hissed, "my queen!"  
"Mabel!" Dipper shouted as her coffin was washed away down the stream. Just as he was about to run after her, he was knocked forward onto his stomach by a sudden force; a foot was placed on his back to keep him still. He reached for the torch that had fallen from his grip, his fingers barely brushing the end of it – he managed to inch it closer to himself and finally got a good grip on it. He awkwardly turned his upper torso to shine the torch on the being that was holding him down and he recognised it as the one that had attacked him before. Stunned by the light, the vampire hissed and stumbled back, releasing him and allowing him to stand up – he ran to the edge of the river and kicked over another coffin. Climbing on top of its closed lid, he steadied himself quickly atop it as he surfed it along the stream to catch up to his twin.

"After him, he can't take my queen!" he heard a loud hiss from behind him and turned to see three other vampires spreading their wings to take flight. Gulping, he turned back around and knelt over carefully so as not to tip over the coffin. Decisively using his hands as paddles, he pushed himself far enough ahead that he could make out his sister's black coffin in the distance; it bashed against rocks that littered the edges of the river and he heard her calling out: "Dipper!"  
"Mabel!" he shouted back. His own means of transportation was suddenly jolted and he almost fell from it into the water – turning around, he came face to face with the first vampire once more. "You again?" he complained and simply shone his torch on it. Hissing, it stumbled back again and lost its footing, falling back into the river. It surfaced with a loud hiss and gargle, desperately trying to flap its large wings to escape the water's clutches but the wings were too wide to flap in the confined space. Another horrid being landed in front of him but before he could shine his torch on the monster, it snatched the object from his hand and crushed it effortlessly before throwing it into the river. The brunet paled before being grabbed in the creature's strong grip mercilessly – he was brought closer to its face as it hissed quietly, as if inspecting him: its breath was putrid and stank of rotten meat; meat that was most likely human flesh. The boy dug around in his vest desperately in search for something to protect himself, his fingers danced along the solid cover of his favoured book. Pulling out the journal, he put all of his effort into swinging the thick book at the creature and cheered internally when he hit its head, causing it to drop him again. He slipped the journal back into his vest quickly. Suddenly, the coffin hit into something. Hard. The vampire was thrown off of the platform and into the river, struggling to surface just as the other did, whereas he was thrown backward – he expected to be met with cold water but was shocked when his body was instead cushioned by something soft and warm.  
"Dipper!" Mabel called from beneath him, "quick, get up and cut me loose," she instructed. He leaned up and turned around, awkwardly placing his feet so as not to step on his twin but keep his balance at the same time. He dug around in his backpack for a moment before whipping out his pocket knife. Flicking out the blade, he dug it beneath one of the rings of rope and quickly cut through it; Mabel thanked him quickly and stood up just as a rushing sound caught his attention.  
"There's a waterfall ahead isn't there?" he asked.  
"Probably," the girl replied. "Dipper, look out," she stepped back when the coffin was jolted again.

Looking around, there stood another hideous creature - he could see it easily with the light that was beginning to flood the cavern from the exit ahead. "Hold on tight, bro-bro," Mabel announced and wrapped an arm around his waist.  
"What?" he asked and turned to face her. Suddenly, the solid platform below them was torn away and he instinctually wrapped his arms around his sister's shoulders tightly. Just as they started to fall down and close the distance between them and a brutal death, they were caught and started to ascend safely.  
"Grappling hook!" his sister cheered with a smug grin lighting up her face.  
Looking down, he saw the two coffins falling and splintering apart as they impacted with the water below and pieces of wood drifted along the river. Mabel released a sudden yelp, however, when the third and final vampire from before clawed and clung to her foot, hissing angrily - its skin sizzled and popped in the sun, melting away slowly and grotesquely, dripping into the river below. The teenage girl shook her foot frantically and kicked at the monster with her other free foot; it hissed louder and tried to flap its leather wings only to find that the thin skin had already melted away in the sun. With a final kick from the brunette, the vampire fell down with a loud screech.

The twins ascended to the top, passing the cave from which they'd fallen and going to the top of the cliff. Mabel climbed over the edge quickly and helped to pull up her brother before talking to him: "you were awesome back there, bro-bro!" she tackled him in a hug and the other stumbled back slightly, careful not to fall back over the edge of the cliff again.  
"You really think so?" he asked.  
"Duh! You were like a super ninja fighting all of those mean vampires," she spread her arms in exaggerated movements as she spoke.  
"Well I couldn't just let them take you, could I?" he smiled and laughed sheepishly. "So you still think vampires are hot?"  
"Ugh, no," she cringed. "Werewolves, on the other hand…"  
The duo laughed before starting to walk back to the shack.

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They returned just in time for dinner early in the evening. "Hey, kids. Have any fun?" Stan asked as they walked into the kitchen.  
The two smiled to each other; "yup," they agreed simultaneously. Mabel retold the tale of the day's events over dinner to Stan and Ford, who both listened intently.  
"There's a new episode of Ducktective tonight. Looks like we'll finally get to see what happens with the twin brother," Mabel said once she finished the story.  
"Oh yeah. I'll get the popcorn if you get the soda," Dipper proposed and the twins both stood to go about their duties.  
"I'll go get the show ready," Stan said and stood up.  
The trio looked at Ford expectantly. "What?" he asked, "you don't expect me to watch that do you?" When the three only continued to stare at him, he finally sighed and said: "alright, fine. Only one episode, though."  
The twins cheered and Stan smiled.  
"Salted or sweet?" Dipper asked.  
"Both," the other three agreed simultaneously.

* * *

 **Vampire on Wikipedia:** **wiki/Vampire  
** **Bad annotations:** **art/Vampire-Bad-Annotations-600001359**

 **I seriously had to Google what dinner is called in America. In Britain we just say 'tea' (meaning food as well as drink) for our evening meal and I thought dinner and lunch were just what you have at noon or something. Shows how little I know about the world xD  
Anyways, I really love this chapter just because we get some fun sibling time and even family time in the last bit and there wasn't a single argument in there. How's that for a break from the annoyingly argumentative plot? Speaking of which; two chapters uploaded together. This was because both of these were quite short and I felt like I should've put them both up together. I also leaked a little bit of myself into Mabel at the start by accident without even realising it (until I read it over) just because sometimes when I eat pancakes with my family and friends I jokingly draw stuff on my food with chocolate syrup. Yes, it does always look really bad. No plan for this chapter, by the way; sorry! **

**So yeah, thanks for reading, please review if you liked this chapter! ;D**


	16. Cerberus

**I only just realised how long this fic is getting, wow!  
Sorry in advance for any and all mistakes. **

* * *

Abruptly woken from her slumber by the sudden shaking of her being, Mabel's eyes snapped open and she jolted up quickly, ready to shout at the intrusion before a large hand was pressed firmly against her mouth. In front of her was her Grunkle Stan, holding a lit, red oil-lamp in one hand – he moved the other hand from his niece's mouth to press a finger against his own lips, signalling for her to be quiet. The oil-lamp bathed the room and all three people in it in an amber blanket and the warm light followed the man holding it as he stepped back, waving a hand to beckon her to follow. Sliding off of the bed, the girl padded after Stan and the duo quietly walked down the stairs side by side.  
"What are we doing?" Mabel whispered.  
"We need to talk to my brother and that cat down in the basement," Stan replied but didn't look at her. They quickly reached the vending machine and the man punched in the code; once the vending machine had swung open, he gestured for her to descend the steps and she did - he closed the machine behind them silently as he followed her.

"Ah, Mabel." Ford said once she entered the messy room. The man looked like he hadn't slept in days – a look she recognised well from her own twin – and his hair was messy; his clothes were scruffy and the mild stench of sweat clung to him.  
"How long have you been down here, Great Uncle Ford? Haven't you gone upstairs?"  
"It's only been a couple of days. Now, we can't waste time – this is a very important matter," he said. Bella was sitting on his desk next to him, grooming her fur with her tongue, her violet eyes flicked to Mabel when the human spoke:  
"What about Dipper? Shouldn't he be down here too?"  
"It's about him, actually," the cat informed. "We have figured out a way to speed up the exorcism."  
The girl's face lit up immediately at the news, "really? That's great, how?" she asked.  
"Slow down, kid. Don't get your hopes up too much, it's not gonna be easy to do it," Stan said and placed the oil-lamp on a nearby desk.  
"There are five gems that are in need of collection," Bella said.  
"It won't be easy, but if we can get them all we should be able to perform the exorcism without any more of a wait," Ford carried on.  
"Great, where are they? I'll go get them now," Mabel offered.  
"It's not that easy, Mabel," Bella explained. "These gems are very powerful – they carry lots of energy, they're one of a kind. We're lucky enough that they're all nearby: scattered throughout Gravity Falls."  
"That isn't the problem, however," Ford spoke; "they're very well hidden. We only know where one of the five are right now and are still searching for the other four. We've narrowed it down to Gravity Falls but they could be anywhere in the town."  
"Gravity Falls isn't that big, I can look around to find them all," Mabel suggested.  
"The town itself isn't big, but don't forget that a large portion of the area is woodland. This means that most – if not all – of the gems are most likely in the forest," Bella informed; "the area is simply too large to hazard a guess."  
Mabel sighed and thought for a moment before replying: "alright. Where's the first one and I'll find go get it."

"Kyanite. That's the first gem that we know of and is hidden deep in the forest – I came across it many years ago and this is how I know of its location. However, it's guarded by Cerberus, the three-headed dog," Ford said.  
"It's physically associated with the third eye and will help to dispel frustration and anger," Bella explained. "You'll be able to recognise it as a blue and black stone."  
"I have a map to help you locate it easier. Here," he pulled a rolled up piece of paper from across his desk and handed it to the girl; unfurling it, she saw that it was a map of the town and the forest surrounding it. "I'm sorry for waking you up so early in the morning," the girl glanced at the clock and noticed that it was actually four in the morning. "But we couldn't take any risks. If we were to talk while Dipper was awake, he'd become suspicious of us and investigate," Ford said. The brunette thought that yes, that did sound a lot like her brother – he became paranoid very easily.  
"We have also been working on the symbol that we told you about," Bella announced.  
"Bill's symbol?" the girl asked, rolling up the map.  
"Yes. In truth, I had been working on it a few days before we planned the exorcism. I was working on a way to get rid of Bill and discovered the symbol as one that supposedly protects humans from his influence, I realised its potential the other night while we were talking." Standing up, Ford walked over to a large shelf and patted the side of it; "I made a larger copy of the symbol on the wall behind this shelf. It helps to protect the basement from Bill, preventing him from getting in."  
Mabel yawned and hummed, "can I go back to bed now? I'll find the kyanite later," she said.  
"One more thing before you go, Mabel." The man gestured to a black ball in the corner, "it's fully recovered and ready to leave." It was the cadon.  
The teen smiled, "aw – I'll go let him out," she walked over and picked up the cat-sized creature in her arms. It uncurled in her arms and only watched as they ascended the stairs.  
"I shall accompany you," Bella said and leaped down onto the floor before following the thirteen-year-old upstairs.

Once upstairs, the cadon jumped from the girl's arms and spread its wings, flying through the house and knocking over a few objects as it hurriedly flew out of an open window. Mabel ran out of the door in the gift shop to watch the small creature as it flew around the area happily, going high in the sky and low through the trees, arching its form to fit through all sorts of small spaces. The brunette smiled at the sight while Bella trotted out to sit next to her; "so how are you?" Mabel asked the feline.  
"I'm well," she replied simply. "And yourself?"  
"A lot happier now that we can speed up the exorcism," the other admitted.  
"I would think so."  
The two sat in a comfortable silence for a minute, simply enjoying each other's company and watching the cadon fly out of sight, before heading back inside. "Wanna sleep on my bed, tonight?" Mabel asked.  
"No thank you, I wouldn't want to intrude."  
"You won't be. I have Waddles with me every night and I'm sure he won't mind sharing."  
The cat hummed in consideration before accepting the offer.  
They headed upstairs again and drifted off to sleep quickly once in bed.

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Dipper's eyes cracked open slowly. Rolling from his side and onto his back, he stared at the ceiling for a short moment before stretching his arms and legs and looking at his alarm clock which read nine, thirty. Birds sang outside, welcoming him to the waking world, sliding from the bed, he went to the bathroom to clean his teeth and grimaced at the sight in the mirror. Slightly bloodied and bruised, his hair was a greasy mess and his clothes were crinkled and untidy – when was the last time he'd had a shower? Raising an arm, he took a whiff of himself and gagged at the smell. He needed a shower. Placing his toothbrush back in its place, he rinsed his mouth before stripping and turning on the shower and stepping in.

Halfway through the shower – and his solo in singing 'Disco Girl', not that he would ever admit it - a familiar voice spoke behind him; "morning, Pine Tree, have a nice dream?"  
He screamed and pulled the purple shower curtain around himself before yelling at Bill: "What the heck, Bill?! I'm having a shower, why are you here?!"  
"I'm here for more monster hunting!" the other replied enthusiastically.  
"While I'm naked in the shower?!"  
"Relax, Pine Tree. I only wear a bowtie – I'm naked all the time!"  
"That doesn't help!" he wrapped the shower curtain tighter around himself, "get out!"  
"Sheesh, alright, kid. But you should know this isn't the first time I've seen you shower, so there's nothing to be ashamed of."  
The teen flushed a darker shade of red at the comment, "I said get out, I don't want you staring at me while I'm naked!"  
The demon laughed before disappearing in a flash.  
Sighing, he quickly finished in the shower before heading back into his bedroom with only a towel around his waist.  
"Hey again," called the demon from his bed.  
"Can't you leave me alone for one minute?" the boy complained.  
"What, you're not naked anymore… at least, not visibly."  
Dipper mumbled something incoherent under his breath as he started collecting some clean clothes.  
"looks like Shooting Star let that rat sleep in her bed last night," Bill spoke.  
The teen looked at his sister's sleeping form and the two animals curled up next to her, "mm. So what did you do yesterday while I was with Mabel?"  
"Oh just sorted out some junk. Collecting debts, making new deals..." he trailed off, "dealing with a certain angel," he then muttered quietly.  
"What was that?"  
"Just stuff, don't worry. Anyway, I have some great stuff to show you today, Pine Tree-" he was cut off by the teen.  
"No thanks, I was gonna ask Mabel if she wanted to hang out again today."  
"What? But you was with Shooting Star yesterday, why are you going with her again today?" he seemed genuinely clueless and the boy had to bite his lip to hold back a smirk.  
"We haven't spent a lot of time together yet this summer, apart from yesterday. I wanted to hang out with her more."  
The immortal scoffed, "you spend plenty of time with her. Like when we saw that acheri, and Onibi, and-"  
"I mean just us," the brunet interrupted. "But hey, at least you can do more of that debt collecting and things like that. Anyway, I gotta go get dressed but I'll see you tomorrow."  
Bill threw a dirty look at the sleeping twin before mumbling his goodbye and disappearing in a flash.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

After getting dressed and going downstairs, he got a bowl from the cupboard and fetched the milk and some cereal. Pouring the colourful hoops into the blue bowl, a voice spoke from behind him, in the doorway: "morning, bro-bro."  
Turning to face his twin as he poured the milk, he replied: "morning, Mabel. You want some cereal?"  
"Fruity hoops?"  
"You know it," he smiled and prepared some for the girl.  
"Wait," Mabel said as he sat down next to her at the table. "Could it be?" she sniffed the air cautiously, nearing Dipper with each sniff: "did you shower?" she gasped.  
"Don't act so surprised, I shower all the time," he defended.  
"If all the time is once a year," she laughed.  
"Whatever. So do you wanna hang out today?"  
"We hung out yesterday, aren't you going with _Bill_ today?" she sneered the demon's name.  
"Nah, I already talked to him and said I was gonna be with you again today. Also where's Bella, I thought she was with you last night?"  
"Bella went back down to the basement but uh…" she trailed off, trying to think of an excuse to deny his request. "Dipper look, a UFO!" she announced and pointed behind him.  
"Where?" he asked and turned around to find it. The girl quickly slipped out of the room while he was distracted and ran into the gift shop. "Mabel, there isn-" he turned to find his twin gone; "Mabel?"

"Wendy!" Mabel shouted and jumped up behind the older girl. The red-head was behind the counter, sitting on a stool with her dirtied boots propped up; a magazine was in hand and was titled 'Rockin' rock bands' on the cover. In front of the bold text was a picture of literal rocks with guitars and drums.  
"Hey, man. How's it hangin'?" she asked the brunette and took down her feet to turn and talk to the younger teen.  
"Wendy, do you wanna come with me today to find a rock in the woods?" she asked, beaming happily.  
Wendy hummed for a moment in thought before replying; "sure. I got nothing better to do."  
"Dudes, what was that about rocks in the woods?" Soos stepped over, sweeping the floor with a broom.  
"Soos, you can come, too," Mabel grinned.  
"If video games have taught me anything, it's that rocks are surprisingly easy to fit in your pocket."  
"Uh… what?" the two girls asked.  
"Inventory, dudes. Inventory," he replied seriously. "So when are we going?"  
"Right now, let's go," Mabel cheered, desperate to leave before her brother could catch up and ask to come.

Just as the trio were about to leave, another voice interrupted them: "where are you guys going?"  
Mabel turned to see her brother in the doorway and before she could think of a believable excuse, Soos spoke up: "we're gonna go find a stone."  
"A stone? Can I come with you?"  
"Uh, this was just meant to be a girls' day out – sorry, bro-bro," Mabel quickly lied.  
"But Soos is going," Dipper countered.  
"Sure you can come, man," Wendy said and earned a half-hearted glare from Mabel.  
"Cool, just let me grab my stuff," he turned to go and his twin called after him:  
"Get mine too, Dip-Dop."  
Once the boy had left, Mabel spoke in hushed whispers to the other two: "I didn't want Dipper to come, I need to get this without him – it's important."  
"Why, what's going on?" Wendy asked.  
"We're trying to get rid of an evil demon but we need a bunch of stones," the girl explained.  
"Then can't Dipper help? He knows more about this junk than us," Wendy said.  
"No, he can't kno-"  
Her sentence was cut off by her brother's voice: "alright, I'm ready to go," he stepped into the room again and handed his twin her pink backpack. "Let's go." Mabel pulled out the map that Ford had given her from her backpack, "whoa, when did you get a map?" Wendy asked.  
"Great Uncle Ford gave it to me to find the stone," Mabel admitted.  
"Wait, why does he want the stone?" Dipper questioned.  
"Uh… for his… research? Yeah, he couldn't get it himself so he asked me to go get it," she lied.  
"Why didn't he ask me?" her sibling's brows furrowed in confusion and clear offence.  
"You were still asleep. Now, let's take a look…" she scanned the map for a tense minute in silence before looking up with a forced smile and announcing: "I have no idea how to read a map."  
"C'mere," Dipper sighed and took the map from her, scanning it quickly. He easily found the spot marked on the map that they had to go to and pointed behind him before announcing: "it's in that direction. We're gonna have to go through the swamp though and it's gonna take ages to find."  
"Ugh, I hate the swamp. It smells so bad," his twin complained.  
"What are we waiting for? Let's go," the red-head in the group hurried.  
Dipper handed the map back to Mabel and the group left without further word.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

"So I was on level eighty-seven and I had to fight Alduin and, like, three other dragons," Soos was re-telling a story about his video game adventures to the group as they walked.  
"Wow," Mabel gushed, "did you beat 'em all?"  
"You bet I did, with the help of my faithful house guard and wife, Lydia. Here dude, I even have a photo of her," he pulled a small photo from his pocket and showed it to the girl.  
"Amazing," the brunette gushed once more.  
"Ugh, I think we're getting close to the swamp," Wendy announced and pinched her nose, her face contorted into an expression of disgust.  
"Yeah, I can smell it," Dipper agreed, "luckily it's not too big so can get through it within a few minutes."  
"Good," the red-head said. The swamp was dark and shaded from the sun by a thick canopy above - trees grew tall and strong and lurking in their branches were small creatures that watched them as they passed, scurrying across the thick arms of the trees. "I don't like this, man. I feel like something's watching us," the older girl admitted, glancing around at her surroundings warily.  
"Look, there's a woman," Mabel suddenly announced from behind her.

The group looked to see a dainty woman sitting by the edge of the marsh; clad in a jade kimono that pooled around her legs where she sat, her feet were bare and her ebony locks of hair fell down over her chest, parted to rest on either shoulder. Her clean appearance looked out of place in the muddy, marshy swamp. Smile ghosting her lips, her round eyes were a shocking green that stared out into the empty space before her.  
"Yo, lady. Are you lost?" Wendy called to the woman only to get no answer, so she called once more: "hey!" They woman continued to remain silent so the red-head spoke to her friends quietly; "let's just leave her, she can't hear us."  
Just as Wendy proposed the idea, the woman stood up slowly. Trudging forward and through the thick yet shallow bog, she quickly reached them and stood in the teenager's way. Each time the older girl tried to sidestep the other, she only mimicked her movements with that same smile sticking to her face. "Move," Wendy shoved the woman, annoyed with her antics.  
"Wendy!" Mabel scolded and helped the woman stand up again, just as she was about to apologise for her friend's rudeness, the stranger's mouth widened unnaturally – so wide that the group thought her jaw might snap – and lifted Mabel in her arms, high above her head. "Hey, put me down!" the girl commanded. The woman ignored the girl as her mouth stretched even wider, big enough to fit the girl, and started to lower her – before she could, however, she was shoved forward violently and forced to drop the brunette onto the floor.

"Run, run!" Wendy commanded as she took out her hatchet in preparation for a fight – the woman was kneeling on the floor with her back to them and the group got a perfect view when the skin and skull on the back of her bare neck started to stretch and split apart, quickly transforming into a new mouth. Soos picked up the twins without a word and instantly started sprinting as he carried them under his arms; Wendy soon followed suit once the woman began to stand up.  
"What is that thing, dog?" Soos cried in a panic.  
"I don't know, but it's chasing us!" Mabel announced.  
Dipper pulled the journal from his vest and flicked through it quickly, "let me see if it says anything in here," he continued to skim through the leaves of the book until he found the right one. "Here we go. Futakuchi-onna, or Futa for short, was once a normal woman-"  
"Can you skip to the part on how to stop her?" Wendy interrupted.  
The boy skimmed over it again and told them: "I think she's just hungry, that's why she has the second mouth and is trying to chase us. Maybe if we give her some food, she'll leave us alone."  
"We don't have any food," the red-head looked back to find Futa still sprinting after them.  
"I have some-" Mabel was jolted when Soos jumped over a large root, "some sweets in my backpack, could we use those?"  
"It's worth a shot. Soos, get the sweets from Mabel's bag," her brother commanded.  
The man awkwardly fumbled with the twins and the bag for a moment before pulling out a large plastic bag full of various chocolates, gummy sweets and liquorice. "Here, dude," he passed the bag to Mabel.  
"I'm sorry," she apologised to the bag before tipping it upside down and leaving a trail of sweets on the muddy floor.  
"That had better work," Wendy said and watched as the woman chasing them slowed down to a halt and dropped onto all fours, licking up the sweets with her tongue.  
"Alright!" the twins cheered and high-fived each other while still in their friend's grasp. He quickly put them down, panting slightly.  
"Dude, how much further to go?" the man asked.  
"Not too far. It's already been a couple of hours since we left the shack and we're nearly out of the swamp. It should only be a few minutes, now," Dipper assured.

After walking for another five minutes in a comfortable silence, Soos interrupted the quietness: "do you dudes hear that?" The group stopped to listen for a moment, noticing the distant and low sounds of rumbling. "It sounds kinda like a giant three headed dog snoring," Soos said and put his hand on his chin whilst thinking.  
"That must mean we're getting close," Mabel cheered.  
"Close? What are you talking about?" Dipper asked.  
"Great Uncle Ford said that the kyanite was being guarded by this huge three-headed dog," she gestured dramatically with her arms to indicate a canine. "He said its name was Sarbus… Sarabas… Something like that?"  
"You mean Cerberus?" Wendy asked.  
"Yeah, that was it," the girl smiled.  
"Wait isn't Cerberus meant to be the guardian of the door to the underworld or something?" Dipper asked. "And we're going to fight that thing just for some gem?"  
"Yup!" Mabel answered enthusiastically, "lighten up, bro-bro. This'll be easy-peasy lemon squeezy."  
He sighed, "alright. Might as well go get it, we already came this far." The group walked for another short minute before coming across where they were meant to be.

They stood on the edge of a clearing and near the edge of a tall cliff. In the middle of the cliff was an enormous – about twice the height of Wendy's father: 'manly' Dan – black dog. To put it simply: it looked like a black Labrador with three heads. Behind the large canine there grew a group of blue and black crystals, sharp and dangerously pointed.  
"Alright, we can probably sneak around it to get the kyanite without waking it up, but we have to be quiet," Dipper instructed the group in a whisper.  
"Dudes, check it out," Soos called from next to Cerberus – he scratched beneath the canine's right head and it tilted its head slightly in its sleep, kicking one of its back feet against the floor heavily and making the ground rumble slightly.  
"Soos, stop that!" Dipper shouted in a whispery voice. The man turned to them to shout something but a heavy breath against his back stopped him in his tracks. Turning around, Cerberus' right head was up and staring at the man, drooling and snarling at him – its crimson eyes were wide open and locked on the man.  
"Heh, sup dog," he waved, "literally."  
Its other heads raised to look at the other three humans while it stood up quickly, all three heads snarling and drooling.  
"Ok, if we just stay still maybe it won't see us," Mabel suggested.  
"That only works with dinosaurs, Mabel," her brother gulped and stepped back next to the two girls warily.  
"Any other ideas?" Mabel asked.

Meanwhile, Soos bolted and started running behind Cerberus – the beast's right head barked ferociously and twisted to follow it while the other two stayed in place and were suddenly jolted from the movement. It growled as one head tried to follow the man while the other two tried to stay locked on the three humans, and this sparked an idea in the boy's head.  
"Alright, I have a plan. Mabel, you run that way," he pointed to the left, "I'll run that way," he pointed to the right, "and Wendy, you run back that way," he pointed behind them. "It should get confused and won't be able to follow all of us," Dipper explained. The two girls nodded with determination. "Alright, three. Two. One."  
As soon as he finished the countdown, they each went their own ways and just as the boy had predicted, the canine before them moved awkwardly in an attempt to run all three ways. Its left head moved right to follow Dipper, its right head moved left to follow Mabel and the middle head jolted forward to chase Wendy – the three heads collided and it jumped back in surprise, dizzied from the impact. The twins ran around the back of it to join Soos and Mabel tugged on one of the larger crystals that they found there. However, the kyanite refused to move no matter how hard she pulled, "I can't get it out," she said, "we need to cut it."  
Dipper pulled out his pocket knife and handed it to her, "see if this works."  
She tried to slice through it, but the crystal was too hard and it would have taken hours to cut through. She handed it back to her brother with a defeated expression.  
"Dude, let me try," Soos said and took out a screw-driver from his pocket. Moving forward, he lodged the metal into the rock of the cliff and angled it expertly to loosen the crystal from where it was buried. He levered it out easily and held it up; it was only small – about the size of his index finger – but Mabel decided it would do.

A loud snarling drew their attention to Cerberus who now hovered over them, eyeing them hungrily. Pouncing forward, the trio ran to the side to avoid it as it jumped – its front paws were jabbed by the sharp crystals and it yelped in pain, recoiling immediately; the crystals only seemed to glow brighter, including the one that Mabel held in her hands. A loud war-cry directed their attention to another figure that ran from the woods. Just as Cerberus spun around, Wendy leaped forward and clung to the fur on the side of its leg. "Wendy!" Mabel cheered.  
The red-head climbed her way up the canine's body and onto its back; once up there, long, black forms seemed to sliver from the beast's skin. They were snakes; they hissed and lunged at the girl but she fought them off with her hatchet, slicing into their black scales – she stepped back as she continued to hack into each reptile until she stepped on something unexpected: a large, red collar. Grinning as a new idea formed in her head, she fought off the attacking snakes with one hand and wrapped the other arm around Cerberus' collar. Pulling the collar with all of her strength, she shouted as loud as she could: "sit!"  
Surprisingly, the snakes recoiled and burrowed back into the canine's skin. She used her now free hand to pull the collar tighter and repeated the command: "I said sit!" The beast slowed its chase of the other three humans suddenly and proceeded to sit down, "that's right! Stay!" Wendy instructed and jumped down from its back. The beast collapsed onto the floor, asleep.

"Whoa, that was awesome!" Mabel cheered the for older girl.  
"He ain't so tough, he's just a big dog, really," Wendy stated coolly.  
"Looks like he fell asleep, I wonder why," Dipper pondered.  
"Maybe because it got stabbed by the crystal thingies," Mabel suggested. "Great Uncle Ford said that it makes things less grumpy."  
"Since when do you listen to that sort of stuff?" her brother asked.  
She only laughed before declaring that they should head back to the shack.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

"I'd better head off home, it's getting pretty late," Wendy said as they left the woods and reached the Mystery Shack.  
"Yeah, dude. I'm gonna go, too. Abuelita is making dinosaur shaped cookies tonight," Soos said.  
The twins waved their friends goodbye before heading into the shack.  
"I'm gonna go watch TV, you coming?" Dipper asked.  
"I'll be there in a minute, I just have to go give this stone to Great Uncle Ford," Mabel said and made her way down to the basement.

"Ah, Mabel," Ford greeted as she stepped into the room.  
"Did you get the kyanite?" Bella asked from the table.  
"Yup," she grinned and held up the small stone.  
"That's perfect, thank you," Ford took the gem gently and studied it. "We have to be very careful with it. If this were to shatter or break, the energy would disperse and would affect the people around it," he explained and gently put it in a drawer before locking it with a key.  
"What does that mean?" Mabel asked.  
"Kyanite is a stone that absorbs anger and frustration, if it were to crack then that energy would be absorbed by the nearest person. That person would be affected by that energy easily, meaning that they would become very angry," Bella explained.  
"Whoa, would the other stones do that, too?" she asked.  
"Yes. But we need these charged stones because the more energy they have, the stronger they are and the better they work," Ford replied.  
"Whoa…" she said. After a moment of silence, the girl said goodbye to the two before heading back upstairs.

Heading into the living room, she sat next to her brother who was watching TV. "What's this?" she asked.  
"Some old movie. Totally unrealistic, you can't kill someone with a pillow," he complained.  
She smirked mischievously, "wanna bet?" she snatched a pillow from Stan's empty, yellow sofa and wacked her brother over the head with it.  
"Ow, hey," she said through his laughs. He ran behind the sofa and snatched his own pillow from behind it; when his twin ran around to the back of it, he pummelled her with his own soft cushion, both laughing happily.

* * *

 **Futakuchi-onna on Wikipedia:** **wiki/Futakuchi-onna  
Cerberus on Wikipedia: wiki/Cerberus  
** **Futakuchi-onna bad annotations: art/Futakuchi-onna-Bad-Annotations-600328091  
(No bad annotations for Cerberus, sorry.)**

 **I have already got the other stone chapters planned to some extent, that is how prepared I am. The Cerberus thing gave me a lot of ideas since I love Greek mythology so much ;) But don't worry, I don't plan on the exorcism happening for a long time, yet. Also, no plan this chapter, sorry.  
**

 **Now it's time for an important thingy-ma-jig. It has come to my attention that Bill is actually not a triangle. He's a circle. I'm sorry, ok seriously though. I wanted to point out that despite Bill's absence in the events of the series (in this AU at least) most things have stayed the same. A few things might have changed, such as Mabel's motive for going and finding a unicorn, or the ending events of sock opera, or more ridiculous things like that which I wish I didn't need to care about but do. Overall, everything played out the same.  
**

 **Now back to the jokes; this fic is more reference than real plot. And just so you all know, the shower scene near the start was requested by someone.  
I recommend that you all go check out some of the Wikipedia monsters, a lot of them are hilariously unbelievable and some are very disturbing. For example:  
**

 **Alp (German) - Male night-demon. (AKA Bill...)  
** **Penanggalan (Philippine) - Vampires that sever their heads from their bodies to fly around, usually with their intestines or other internal organs trailing behind.**  
 ** **Alan (Philippine) - Winged humanoid that steals reproductive waste to make children.****

 ** **I'll let you all find some more of that... ( wiki/Lists_of_legendary_creatures)****

 **Anyways, thanks for reading. Please review and all that stuff if you liked this chapter.**


	17. Echidna

**What am I doing with my life?  
** **The plot of this chapter is worthy of Adventure Time because it's so ridiculous xD  
** **Sorry for any and all mistakes.**

* * *

The door was slammed shut abruptly as Stan walked into the kitchen with a handful of bags. As he put the items in their places, Mabel quietly tip-toed over to search the bags and pulled out a few items: a bottle of PVA glue; a new boy-band album; and a large jar of a deep crimson substance. "Oh, what's this, Grunkle Stan?" Mabel asked the man and held up the mysterious jar.  
The man looked at it; "beats me. Some crazy hermit – Freaky Frank or something like that - sold it to me for a couple of bucks, it was a lot cheaper than the stuff they sell in the store so I bought it."  
" _Aaarrrgggggggghhhh!"_ the brunette suddenly yelled, flailing her arms dramatically and pulling an angry face.  
The older man jumped at the sudden noise, "the heck are you doing, kid?"  
"That's what it's called," the girl laughed before turning the jar to read the back. "'The world's hottest hot sauce. Warning: fifty-five people were sent to hospital to get their tongues surgically removed after only one taste of this sauce." She smiled, "that sounds fun!"  
"Ha, yeah right. That's just a hoax, kid – there's no way those people would have to get their tongues removed."  
"Really?"  
"Yeah. Sure it might be hot, but I bet it can't be that hot."  
"You bet, eh?" she hummed thoughtfully. "Dipper! Great Uncle Ford!" she suddenly called, "come try this hot sauce with us!"

The two walked into the room soon after, both looking annoyed at being disturbed from whatever they were doing. "What do you want, Mabel?" Dipper asked.  
"I bet you ten scratch-and-sniff stickers that you can't taste this hot sauce without having to drink any water or milk," she challenged.  
"I really don't have time for this," Ford said and was about to turn around when Stan stopped him:  
"Come on, y' nerd. Try some, we can all do it. In fact…" he hummed in thought.

A few minutes later, Stan was dressed in his notorious con-man suit and standing at the table and announcing the terms to his family. "Alright," he said: "we all have to try some of this hot sauce at the same time. We all place bets in the middle and whoever loses the bet gives up whatever they put in; the last person standing gets what's in the middle. We're doing this in rounds, whoever eats the most without a drink wins." He placed an open bag of Doritos in the middle of the table, next to four glasses of milk. "Reach for a glass, you lose," the man stated. "Now, place your bets!"  
"I bet ten- no, twenty scratch-and-sniff stickers!" Mabel announced proudly and put a strip in the middle of the table.  
"I bet my eight-ball cane," Stan said and laid it across the surface.  
"I am not doing this," Ford tried to refuse.  
"Tough, do it or I'm changing the code to the vending machine," Stan blackmailed.  
"This is _my_ house, you can't change it," Ford argued.  
"I will if you don't do this," the con-man stated bluntly.  
"Fine," he thought for a moment. "I bet my gun," he put the safety on the weapon and placed it in the middle of the table.

"Do I have to do this?" Dipper sighed.  
"Yes," his sister and Stan responded.  
' _Come on, Pine Tree. It'll be hilarious, just do it,_ ' Bill coaxed in his head.  
' _Hilarious for you, maybe_.'  
"Alright, I bet… my socks."  
"Boo~" Mabel said, "that's boring, bet something fun!"  
"You're betting stickers," he countered.  
"But stickers are my life. You have like twenty-seven pairs of socks."  
"I bet my cap," Bill spoke through the boy and placed the cap in the middle of the table before laughing silently in his head.  
"Alright, let's go," Stan announced.  
Everyone took a Dorito and dipped it in the hot sauce. They each took a hesitant bite and sat in tense silence for a short few seconds, each red-faced and holding their breath.  
"It makes your mouth burn," Bill announced through his vessel and took another Dorito before dipping it in the sauce. He was about to put it in the boy's mouth – which Dipper tried desperately to keep closed, but was powerless - but stopped to clarify: "just so you meat-sacks know, this is not cannibalism." He ate the Dorito quickly before laughing; "but I wish it were because this burning pain is hilarious!"  
The rest of the family only stared as the red-faced and now sweating boy took the large jar of sauce in his hands and tipped it upside down, pouring the contents into his mouth without hesitation. Once the jar was empty, Dipper slammed the container onto the table, panting and fanning his own face – he snatched a glass of milk from the centre of the table and chugged it desperately; once he finished the glass he moved onto another, then another and then another. As he ran out of milk in the glasses, he ran over to the fridge and took out the half-empty carton of milk before chugging that, too – however he quickly ran out and looked around frantically for something else to numb the burning. The sink. He ran over and ducked his head beneath the tap, turning it on and gargling it down straight from the sink.

"How did he eat the entire jar; I can barely manage what I had!" Mabel spoke, fanning her own face. The other two men only sat, red-faced and looked at the boy, fearing that they might also feel the need to drink an entire ocean just to get rid of the burning on their tongues and lips if they uttered a single word.  
"You know," Stan said before coughing, "I heard that there's some legendary sauce hidden in the forest. Meant to be the hottest sauce in history, nothing compares."  
"Why is it the woods?" Mabel asked.  
"Beats me, go ask whoever put it there."  
"Hey, Dipper," she turned to face the boy who still had his face beneath the running tap. "Do you wanna go find that crazy-hot hot sauce?"  
He made a gargling noise as if trying to talk.  
"I'll take that as a yes."  
Stan took his cane from the table and said; "well, that was over quick. The bet is pointless since the kid decided to just down all of the hot sauce, so I'm just gonna go run the shack."  
"Alright, me and Dip-Dop are gonna go search for that sauce you told us about," she smiled and skipped up the stairs to fetch their bags.

Entering the room again ten minutes later, Stan and Ford had both left while her twin was still under the tap with water running down his throat; his cap was still placed on the table so she picked it up. Laughing, she poked his side and he flinched, "maybe next time you won't eat an entire jar of crazy-hot hot sauce." The boy didn't reply so she pulled him from his place to stand properly.  
"I can't feel my mouth," Dipper's words slurred together, his tongue felt heavy and his mouth refused to move as easily as it usually would. He quickly took his cap from his sister and placed it on his head.  
"Well, you'd better get better soon cause we're all going to try that legendary sauce when we get it," Mabel announced.  
"Legendary sauce?"  
"Yeah, Stan said about it earlier, weren't you listening?" she poked at his nose playfully.  
"I was a bit busy," he frowned and rubbed at his nose.  
"Sheesh, Pine Tree. You need to listen more," said another voice and Bill appeared next to him in a flash. "How about finding some hot sauce to get your mind off of that hot sauce?" he proposed. Stretching one arm around Dipper and the other around Mabel, he pulled them closer into a hug; "just the three of us!"  
"I really can't be bothered to do anything today. It's really hot so I might just go to the pool or something," Dipper dismissed.  
"You're only hot because of that sauce. I don't know why you decided to eat it all like that, kid – pretty stupid decision, if you ask me."  
"You're the one who made me do it!" The boy yelled, throwing his hands into the air dramatically.  
"Whoa, don't go trying to pass off the blame. Now, what are waiting for? Let's go," he took a hand from each twin and the trio was engulfed in the familiar cobalt flame.

The wooden floorboards beneath their feet were instantly replaced with soft, lush grass and in place of the walls and furnishings were large trees; Mabel hunched over and started coughing immediately.  
"Mabel!" Dipper called in a worry and moved to her side with one large, swift step – patting her back, he shot a glare at the dream demon. "What the heck, why did you do that?!"  
"I forgot," Bill shrugged dismissively, lying through his teeth – his… bowtie?  
"I'm… I'm fine," Mabel wheezed. "W-where are we?" she stood straight and released a breath of air.  
"You wanted to get that hot sauce right? Well it's around here. You're welcome, by the way."  
"Really? That was surprisingly easy," Mabel admitted.  
The immortal laughed, "that's not all. You have to get past Echidna, the crazy snake lady from hell."  
"Echidna? I think I've heard that name somewhere before," Dipper pondered.  
"Probably, she's a Greek goddess, mother of Cerberus and other monstrosities," he explained.  
"Cerberus?" Mabel asked, "oh… Dipper, do you think she knows about…?"  
"I doubt it-"  
"Knows about what?" Bill interrupted.  
"About yesterday. When we went out we had to fight Cerberus to get the kyanite stone for our Great Uncle Ford," the boy explained.  
"Kyanite…?" he hummed in thought for a moment and his large eye shone with a calculating look. "Alright," he finally said simply.  
"Well what are we waiting for? Let's go get us some hot sauce," Mabel announced. The trio made their way further through the forest, stopping when they came across a cave only a minute later. "In there?" the girl asked.  
"Yup," the immortal replied and disappeared to hide in her brother's head. "Have fun," he spoke through Dipper.  
They stepped close to the cave when a loud hissing filled the air from inside. "Who goes there?" a bold voice boomed, but clearly belonged to a woman. Each syllable was drawn out with a brief hiss.  
"Dipper Pines," the boy called in.  
"And Mabel!" she chirped happily.  
"I sense a third presence… Much stronger – who is it?" the voice asked.  
"Bill Cipher, now hurry up and hand over the sauce!" the demon yelled impatiently.

"No!" the voice hissed angrily. From the cave slivered a half-woman and half-snake; no one could deny that her human half was in fact quite beautiful. She donned a revealing strip of torn, jade fabric across her chest, the fabric – despite being torn – was adorned with gold jewels and sequins that contributed to her godly appearance. Her form was thin and around her slender wrists hung two golden bangles on each that jingled when she moved the limbs; deep chocolatey locks of hair were straight and surprisingly well-kept, flowing down her back and stopping at her waist. Dull, almost black, lips curled into a malicious smile and gold eyes enticed those who looked into them.  
However, her snake form was the opposite: hideous. With emerald scales on one side and an amber underside, the tail grew long and thin, eventually thinning out to a deadly sharp point on the end. Her form towered over them easily, about three times as tall as them.  
"Do you truly think you're worthy of this hot sauce?" she hissed.  
"Why are you here guarding some hot sauce?" Mabel asked instead, "don't you have anything better to do?"  
"Answer the question!"  
"Yes, just hand it over!" Bill shouted up to her, hands cupping the boy's mouth.  
"To get this legendary hot sauce, you must first battle me," Echidna challenged.  
Dipper turned to his twin and muttered to her; "is this really worth it?"  
She shrugged, "we could just go…" she proposed quietly.

They turned to leave but were stopped when Echidna slithered around, forming a barrier around the area with her reptilian body.  
"Hey, let us out, we already decided we don't want the hot sauce," Dipper complained.  
"No. Do you have any idea how boring it is guarding that jar in that tiny cave? I have such a back ache! It's about time I get to kill someone; and children – even better!"

Lunging forward, she tried to claw at the twins but they were moved to the side; Bill using Dipper's body to push Mabel aside and save them both. The goddess continued to lunge forward, swiping her sharp claws at them each time until they were backed up against the other end of her scaly tail.  
"What now?" Mabel asked, looking around for something to use as a weapon.  
"Uh…" the boy stuttered, looking over the creature's form in search of a weakness while she inched closer to them.  
"Her flesh," Bill spoke up. "I can't burn her through her scales," he knocked the boy's fist against the iron-like scales they were backed into to demonstrate. "But if she gets close enough, I can burn her human skin."  
"But that means her getting closer to us, which doesn't really sound like a good idea," Mabel countered.  
The demon scoffed, "relax, kid. Trust me for once," he smirked at the girl mischievously. Before she could protest, Echidna lunged forward and wrapped her large hands around each of them, separating them and holding one twin in each hand.  
"Which of you should I eat first?" the goddess grinned evilly, her snake tongue slipping out of the cavern that was her mouth for a brief moment to wet her dark lips. Eyeing each of them carefully, she ignored the small girl's protests;  
"put us down, you evil snake lady!" Mabel shouted.  
Golden eyes scanned the boy's small form and her smirk widened before she stated: "a demon and a human in one, I'm sure you'll taste lovely." Just as she finished the sentence and raised him higher, Bill set the boy's entire body alight, scorching the skin of her hand. She dropped the twins immediately to the floor and gripped the wrist of her blistering hand in an effort to dull the pain while hissing loudly.  
"what is it with monsters and trying to kill or eat us?" Mabel asked as she climbed to her feet. Dipper grabbed her wrist and lead her into the cave from which Echidna had come, running until they reached a dead end.  
"What now?" the boy asked.  
The girl spotted a glimmer in the corner of her vision and turned to look; tucked away in a small corner was a jar filled with a mysterious black substance. Wrapped around the jar was a plain white label that read: 'HOT SAUCE' in bold capital letters. Picking up the jar, she read the smaller words written on the side; "caution: burns through anything and everything."  
"Mabel, the hot sauce is the least of our problems right now," her brother complained.  
From the entrance of the cave came a loud, angry hiss and the words: "you've cornered yourselves, children. How foolish – you're going to be my next meal!"  
"I think I have an idea," Mabel announced and popped off the lid of the jar before explaining her plan.

Soon the goddess had slithered her way through the cave, she stood before them – albeit awkwardly in the cramped space of the cave – and grinned down at the two. "Who wants to be eaten first?"  
The twins cowered against the wall of the cave, holding each other tight before Mabel stepped forward with a bold look on her face and announced: "m-me. Let my brother live and you can eat me instead."  
"No, Mabel!" Dipper protested.  
The creature snatched the girl up in her good hand and scanned her; "I plan on eating both of you, little girl," she laughed. "But maybe I should eat you first, let your brother watch you die as punishment for burning me," she glanced at the boy.  
Before Echidna knew it, her face was burning and sizzling with a black substance trickling down her skin. She screeched and screamed and shouted: "what is this?!" dropping the brunette in her hands to the floor.  
"The world's hottest hot sauce!" Mabel yelled back, "how d'you like them apples?!"  
"My face! My beautiful face!" the goddess yelled and moved backward while clawing at her face to stop the burning. Whilst she struggled, the twins ran past her and out of the cave with the jar in arms.

Momentarily startled by the pain, the creature was oblivious to the twins as they ran out of the cave and into the forest, leaving her behind by herself. After a few long minutes of running, they stopped running and leaned on a tree to catch their breath.  
"We… we got it," Dipper panted.  
"Yeah," his sister grinned happily. "High five!" she raised her hand and got what she'd asked for from her grinning twin.  
"This had better be worth it," he said.  
"Let's try it," she declared suddenly. Popping the lid off again, she ignored her brother's protests and stuck a finger into the container; she removed it and licked the black substance from the end of her digit.  
Standing in silence for a tense ten seconds as she processed the taste, she finally shattered the tension with a single sentence: "it tastes really good."  
"What?" her twin asked.  
"Yeah, it's not even spicy. It kinda tastes like ketchup, actually." She offered him the jar, "you try it."  
"Uh, no thanks. Not after th-"  
He was halted by his own voice; "come on, Pine Tree. Don't be such a wimp." Bill took the jar in the boy's hands and scooped up a large dollop on the end of his index finger.  
"No, Bill, wai-" the immortal took advantage of his protests to stick the finger in his mouth and lick it up. Dipper hummed, "wow. You were right, it tastes really good."  
Bill appeared next to him, his usual yellow colour was now a bright shade of red, "speak for yourself, kid!" he suddenly announced. "What is that stuff?!" his form flickered out of sight for a moment and his triangular shape seemed to be trying to change into a different form.  
"Bill?" the boy asked.  
"This pain is not hilarious!" the immortal announced, holding up his small hands dramatically as he continued to flicker in and out of sight; his shape suddenly set alight in an un-characteristic red flame… was he _sweating?_  
The boy laughed, "now you know how I felt this morning."  
"This is _not_ funny, Pine Tree!" the demon yelled and disappeared in a flash without another word.  
"What was that all about?" Mabel asked.  
Her brother shrugged, "maybe it only affects monsters and other creatures?" he suggested.  
"Oh, cool," she smiled enthusiastically. "Let's go show Grunkle Stan."

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

"And here you'll see our newest exhibit: the vege-table!" Stan tore a white cloak from the object to reveal a table made entirely of various vegetables. The crowd gasped in amazement, taking photos of the object.  
"Grunkle Stan!" called a small girl. Mabel and Dipper soon ran up to him with a jar full of black goo.  
"Sheesh, what happened? Did you get hit by a bus or something?" he asked.  
"Look, we got the legendary hot sauce you told us about this morning!" Mabel announced.  
"You did?"  
Dipper spoke: "yeah, we had to fight Echidna to get it but we did, and we have it. But for some reason it only works on monsters, for us it tastes kinda like ketchup…"  
"Well ain't that helpful," the man replied sarcastically. "Now get out of here, you're scaring the customers," he pushed the two aside.  
They entered the shack and placed the jar on the kitchen table.  
When they walked into the room the next day, the jar was gone. "What do you think happened to it?" Mabel asked.  
"I don't know. Maybe Stan threw it out?" Dipper suggested.  
Outside of the window, the two spotted Soos with his hand lodged in the jar and calling out; "uh, dudes? I got my hand stuck in this jar. Can you help me get it out?"  
The duo only laughed.

* * *

 **Echidna of Wikipedia:** **wiki/Echidna_(mythology)  
Echidna Bad Annotations: art/Echidna-Bad-Annotations-600820778**

 **Also, guess who's birthday it is! That's right, Donald Trump! (No, it's mine. Happy birthday, me! Officially 15. And I got a sword for a present, how awesome is that? It's the master sword/Link's sword from LOZ and I love it.)  
So yeah, this is basically just crack plot right here with nothing to do with anything. The entire hot sauce (and also Echidna) thing was the idea of the ever-talented and fabulously fabulous Wanli8970. So yeah, blame her for this mess - nah I'm joking, I love this chapter I was laughing while I wrote it xD  
Feel free to leave requests on any monsters you want the Gravity Squad to mess with. But not Chimera, which was already requested and I'm not writing that yet cause I have bigger plans for it. (Plus if you do say Chimera, do you mean the Greek legend or those weird shape shifting things from My Little Pony? Please specify.)  
**

 **Thanks for reading, please review and all that stuff if you liked this chapter ;D**


	18. Sphinx

**The review about the Echidna and the armadillo and Percy Jackson made me laugh so much, thank you!**

* * *

"Pine Tree~" Bill whined. The boy looked up from the book to briefly glance at the demon that hovered next to his bed, pen in hand and being chewed on. Dipper was lying in bed with his back leaning against his pillows which were propped up against the wall. The boy didn't answer and instead continued to read, so the immortal started complaining: "kid, don't ignore me! I demand that you pay attention to me, Pine Tree. Right now." The teen had already informed the other that he wanted to relax for just one day but Bill refused to let him, making up the excuse that: 'Shooting Star has had you to herself for three days now. We're going to go spend some time together today.' Dipper would never have guessed that an all-powerful, immortal demon could be so clingy. He continued to ignore Bill, hoping that he might eventually get bored and leave to go do other things. Mabel was at a sleepover so the boy had decided to take advantage of the rare peace and quiet to read and relax: moving the chewed pen away from his lips, he quickly scrawled something in the mystery novel that he was reading while Bill glared at him before raising a spindly black arm up. He flinched and jolted up when the end of his pen suddenly exploded, black ink splattering mostly over his face and lightly speckling the wall and book in his hands.

"Bill," the brunette said simply, gripping the now broken pen so hard that the plastic was bending and cracking slightly.  
"Yes~ Pine Tree?" Bill replied gleefully, batting his single eye at the boy innocently.  
Dipper opened and closed his mouth a few times but no words left his throat. Sighing, he stood up from his bed and quickly walked out of the room to return a few minutes later with a clean face. "Great, you're all cleaned up," Bill clapped his hands together. "Let's go."  
"I already told you, Bill," Dipper took up his place on the bed again. "I'm not going out to find any creatures with you today, you can whine all you want."  
"To _find_ creatures...?"  
"That's right, so you might as well leave."  
The demon hummed in thought and stared out of the window for a moment to watch a deer gallop through the trees, heading further into the woods. That gave him an idea. "I hope you're comfortable, Pine Tree."  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
Instead of answering the question, Bill snapped his fingers and the boy was out like a light, snoring gently and slouching down the wall lazily. Pulling on his bank of energy, he wove a moderate amount of golden magic around the boy's form for a few minutes, watching the change that took place. Once he was done, he pulled back his magic and stored the energy away, humming in satisfaction at the outcome. "Pine Tree~" he sang.  
Dipper's eyes flicked open to stare at the immortal, "what did you do?" he immediately asked, not a trace of sleep in his voice.  
"You said you didn't want to find any creatures so I bought one to you - well more like made one _from_ you," Bill laughed.  
"What?" The brunet asked and tried to stand up. He was shocked at how difficult he found the task and looked down, gasping at the revelation.  
His upper body had remained intact, and for that he was grateful - what startled him was the lower half of his body. Everything below his waist had been replaced with the body of a specific woodland animal: a deer. The fur was short and fluffy and the chocolatey colour matched the locks of hair on his head; legs thin and graceful, they looked like they would never be strong enough to hold up his new form. With new and blackened hooves, Dipper tried to stand on his bed: with the combination of a soft, unsteady surface and a new set of deer legs, the boy found it hard to stand straight and the appendages shook uncontrollably. He soon collapsed back down onto his white fluffy stomach, "what did you do, Bill?!" He panicked.  
"Isn't it great? I love your fluffy, white tail it really brings out your new antlers," Bill tugged on his new tail, causing the boy to yelp in shock.  
"A-antlers?!" He reached up to feel the top of his head and sighed in relief to find that there was nothing there aside from his classic cap.  
The immortal laughed, "nah, I'm just messing with y', kid."  
"Change me back," the boy demanded.  
Humming in false consideration for a moment, he gave a mouthless smirk and denied the request brutally: "nope."  
"Bill~" he whined, "I don't want to be a deer!"  
"Good thing I didn't make you one then, isn't it? You're a cervitaur," he informed happily.  
"A cervitaur?" the boy gritted his teeth impatiently.  
"Half deer, half human. You're welcome."  
"I never said thank you!"  
"Well you should, you look great. In fact…" his large, singular orb scraped over the boy's form for a moment.  
"W-what?" he asked.  
"Give me a minute," the immortal ordered.

Bill's triangular form was quickly surrounded by a thick hurricane of golden magic that twirled around his form gracefully for a few minutes and blocked Dipper's vision of the other. Once the gilded tornado had died away, the newly-made cervitaur on the bed gasped at the sight: in place of the usual triangle was a tall figure; a man. He was clad in a thick coat which looked to be made from animal hide, it was lengthy and reached down to his knees, the sleeves reached down to his wrists and the cuffs were turned inside out to reveal a dark red-black fabric. Resting around the shoulders of the coat was a large patch of fur meant either for warmth or decoration and over the fur were animal hide lapels lined with more of that white fur. The coat was unbuttoned to reveal a simple white t-shirt, ironed and half-tucked into a pair of tan breeches that were also tucked into a pair of brown boots which were clean and reached halfway up the man's calf. The tops of the boots were much looser than necessary and were turned inside out to reveal even more of that now familiar white fur. Tied around his waist was a red-black sash that was there purely for the purpose of aesthetics and over the crimson sash, two leather belts crossed each other; more leather belts were tied over his shoulders to hold a rifle on his back, and hanging from the belts were various weapons, from blunt knives to sharp scalpels. Loose, leather gloves covered his hands which were propped on his waist; strawberry blonde and slightly messy hair framed the man's face, reaching only as far as his jawline and halfway down his neck at the back: despite its slightly rough look, it only added to his charming look. The familiar pair of golden eyes stared straight at the boy on the bed, even the sclera had a slight yellow tinge to it.

A smirk tugged at the corners of his lips when Dipper asked unsurely: "Bill?"  
"That's right, Pine Tree," Bill replied happily. Despite the significant change in appearance, his voice hadn't changed at all.  
"How… what… why do you look like that?"  
"What, you don't like it?" he moved his arms out and turned on the spot to show off his new form.  
"No, I just... why?"  
"Well, I figured that if _you're_ going to be the creature today, then _I'm_ going to be the human. More specifically, the hunter," he grinned mischievously and pulled at his lapels to show off his new appearance.  
"How did you even do that?"  
"Pine Tree, are you really still doubting my abilities after all this time? I used magic. I usually stay in my natural triangle form because it uses up energy to change it like this, and I could be using that energy for much more important things. But I figured it's been a couple of millennia since I changed my form like this, so why not?"  
"You look… weird," Dipper frowned.  
"You're a deer, kid. I think you look a lot weirder than me," Bill countered. "And you know what hunters do to deer, right?" he reached an arm around to grab a knife from his new belt.  
The boy quickly panicked and tried to stand again, only to fall over once more. "Change me back," he demanded.  
The demon laughed and put the knife back, "nope. This is fun, maybe I should keep you as a deer forever, Pine Tree because you just look _so_ innocent and cute." Clasping his hands together, he pushed his face closer to the other's with a grin.  
"Stop that, change me back," Dipper pushed him away.  
"Alright, alright. But I want something in exchange."  
"Like what?"  
The demon hummed in thought for a moment, tapping a gloved finger on his chin. "I know," he said. "How about a kiss?"  
"W-what?" the boy stammered, face flushing a bright red as he pushed himself back into the wall desperately.  
"Yup, I heard Shooting Star talking about it a while back and I just thought of it. So kiss me or you'll be a deer forever."  
"No!"  
"Yes!"  
"I…" he made a noise of frustration. "F-fine." Avoiding eye contact with the demon, he rubbed his arm sheepishly.

Bill laughed loudly, wiping tears from his eyes and face reddening from the laughter; "oh boy, Pine Tree. You are so fun to mess with, did you actually think I'd want a measly kiss to change you back?"  
"…Yes…?" he admitted quietly.  
"Of course not, it cost me quite a bit of energy to change _your_ physical form – let alone my mindscape's form - do you really think I'd waste even more for a petty _kiss?_ Not only is that pointless, but it's disgusting. Mushing your face against someone else's, it's the stupidest thing I've seen you meat-sacks do. You must be desperate if you'd do that to get changed back." He grinned and repeated that single phrase. "You must be desperate."  
"I'm just going to talk to Grunkle Stan or Ford, they'll help me if you won't," Dipper stood and managed to get off of the bed on wobbly legs.  
Before he could reach the door, Bill appeared next to it and promptly slammed it shut with a push of magic. "You~" he pointed to the other, "must be desperate."  
"I just want to change back," he replied.  
"I'm sure you do. How about an adventure? Out there in the forest somewhere, there's a sphinx. He'll be able to change you back easily if you find him," the being responded.  
"Why don't _you_ just do it?"  
"Because I don't want to. Now hop along, Bambi," he grinned and pulled the door open again. Gesturing to it politely with a bow, he said: "cervitaurs first."  
"I'm not Bambi," the boy muttered irritably and carefully made his way out of the room. Annoyed with the new obstacle in his path, he groaned in frustration; "how am I meant to get down the stairs?"  
"With those great new legs of yours, of course," Bill moved up to float next to him – his feet weren't touching the floor and he was in an idle sitting position.

Sighing, he concluded that Stan or Ford would help him; they had to.  
The immortal next to him quickly interrupted that line of thought; "you have too much faith in your family, Pine Tree. Sixer's too busy with his research to care and Fez'll just want to use you as some tourist attraction. If Shooting Star were here, she'd just want to get on your back like you're a horse and ride you."  
That did sound an awful lot like his family. "Grunkle Stan," he called down the stairs anyway.  
"What?" the man called back.  
"Could you come here for a minute? I need help with something."  
Heavy footsteps resounded through the shack, quickly followed by heavy pounding up the stairs. "What d'you need, kid?" Stan asked as he reached the top of the stairs, only to stop in his tracks and stare at the boy. Bill started laughing loudly at the confused expression on the other's face.  
"I need help getting turned back into a human," the boy explained quickly.  
"Human?" the man asked and a grin split his face in two. "Scratch that, we could use you as an attraction! I can see it now," he waved a hand across the space above his head once. "The amazing deer boy: deer Dipper – Deerper! Twenty bucks for a photo of you, forty for a photo _with_ you, sixty to pet and a hundred to ride."  
"No, Grunkle Stan. I need to get changed back, I don't want to be a deer," he protested.  
"Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say kid, now uh… Why don't you go get a broom and clean out that empty cage downstairs?" he hinted.

Dipper instead bolted past the man and ran down the stairs – only to fall halfway and tumble down the remaining steps. Pushing himself to his feet, he ignored Stan's calling and ran out of the shack with the man quickly chasing behind him. Galloping into the forest, he quickly lost his Grunkle in the thick throng of trees and bushes.  
"You have a thing for running in the complete wrong direction, don't you?" Bill said, appearing to float alongside the boy as he ran. "The sphinx is the other way, Bambi," he nodded his chin in the other direction.  
The teen groaned in frustration, "seriously? Why can't you just change me back?" he slowed to a stop and pleaded the demon, reflexively stamping a back foot on the grass in annoyance.  
"Because I don't want to. You look adorable like that; why would I waste energy changing you back now?"  
"Bill~" he whined again.  
"Well there is one thing you could give me in exchange," the other smirked.  
"What?" his eyes lit up at the information.  
"Your soul."  
The light disappeared as soon as it had appeared, "no. I'll go find the sphinx," he concluded.  
Bill chuckled, "that's what I thought."

The cervitaur was soon walking around the forest in an ellipse, staying just on the edge of the forest's border so Stan wouldn't see him and try to catch him again. "How far is the sphinx?" Dipper asked Bill.  
"Only an hour, but with your new deer speed you could probably make it in half an hour if you ran."  
"Or with me not knowing how to control a deer body, it'll take me even longer because I have no idea what I'm doing," sarcasm lined each word. "Can't you just teleport us?"  
"I don't want to waste any more energy, so you'll be walking this time. Sorry, Pine Tree."  
He scoffed, "of course."

Hiking through the woods, Dipper was surprised that with his new deer-body came new senses. His field of vision had widened somehow and he found himself tripping over a few roots or loose rocks because he wasn't used to the new change just yet. Various aromas also accompanied the enhanced sight; scents of leaves, tree bark, flowers, other creatures and animals, even the unpleasant stench of animal droppings made his nose curl up in disgust. His hearing had also improved significantly: birdsong; rustling leaves in the wind; squirrels scurrying through the tree branches; a manotaur in the distance shouting something about how Twilight is most definitely not a manly film… he didn't want to know what the manotaur was doing.  
"When we meet the sphinx," Bill shattered the silence; "you'll need to do something for him to change you back."  
Dipper frowned, "you didn't say that before. What do I have to do?"  
"You have to eat a bucket full of live maggots and cow eyes."  
"What?!" he stopped and looked at the other in disgust, "no way!"  
The immortal laughed, "I'm just messing with you, Pine Tree." The duo continued to move through the forest while he talked, "you have to answer five riddles."  
"Riddles? Why?"  
"Just because, stop questioning everything you see. Anyways, if you get the first four wrong he does something bad to you."  
"Bad how?"  
"It depends on the situation. Like if a man is half blind and answers wrong, the sphinx will take away his vision permanently. Or if a person has a broken arm, he'd just sever is completely. Stuff like that."  
"So, what, he'd make me into a proper deer if I get it wrong?"  
"Probably. Anyways, that's only for the first four. If you get the fifth wrong, he'll kill you." He interrupted the cervitaur before he could speak, "no, I'm not going to let him hurt you so stop worrying."  
"How hard will the riddles be?"  
"Do you think I hang around him enough to know every single riddle he asks people? Just wait and see."

They soon reached a small path to find an odd creature laying by a tree stump. It had the body of a lion and large wings of an eagle, however instead of the head of either animal, it had one of a human: short, ginger hair curled down to frame its face and its skin was a pale porcelain.  
"Is that the sphinx?" Dipper whispered so as not to disturb the sleeping creature.  
"Yeah, go wake him up," Bill commanded.  
Trotting over to the sphinx quietly, he nudged the being gently with his hoof. "Hey, uh… wake up," he said weakly.  
His demonic companion scoffed, "not like that, Pine Tree." He disappeared for only a second to take control of the boy's new form and grinned; "oh, this feels different." Moving the boy's form around to the back on the sphinx, he lifted a hoof and planted it down on its lion tail abruptly, putting all of the boy's strength into it and even a small amount of his own demonic strength. The sphinx's brown eyes opened abruptly and a roar was released in pain and warning. "Wake up," Bill demanded.  
The sphinx stood and pounced at Dipper angrily but the brunet was moved aside swiftly by the demon. "Whoa, wait I just want to talk, man," Dipper tried to say.  
"By stepping on my tail?" the Sphinx asked sarcastically, sneering.  
"S-sorry about that… I just wanted a favour."  
"Why should I do anything for you?"  
"I just want to be changed back into a human, can't you do that? What about your riddles?"  
"Again, why should I do anything for you?"  
"Because," Bill spoke through him and raised a burning hand, "if you don't I will burn the fur from your pathetic form and pluck every feather from your wings. I'm getting impatient, so make it quick or I'll be making use of my new scalpel to skin you alive and make your pelt a new addition to my wardrobe."  
The sphinx seemed taken aback by the sudden outburst.  
"Please?" Dipper added sheepishly.  
"Always wax, yet always wane: I melt, succumbed to the flame. Lighting darkness, with fate unblest, I soon devolve to shapeless mess. _"  
_ "What?"  
"The first riddle, answer it," the sphinx repeated it again and the teen hummed in thought.  
"A candle," he answered surely.  
"Yes. Large as a mountain, small as a pea, endlessly swimming in a waterless sea," he spoke the next riddle.  
"Uh…" he thought for a long moment and Bill reappeared next to him.  
"Come on, Pine Tree. It's not that hard," he coaxed.  
He glowered at the immortal, "maybe for you. You know pretty much everything about everything." Looking at the sphinx once more, he gave his answer: "a comet."  
"Wrong. The correct answer is an asteroid."  
"That's not fair, they're basically the same thing," he argued. A wave of dizziness washed over him and he stumbled back, falling over to sit on the new back legs of his deer form. The moment quickly faded and he looked himself over, checking for any differences.  
"Oh~ how cute," Bill said.  
"What? What happened?"  
"You have new ears, Pine Tree," the being laughed happily.  
"What?!" he felt his ears and found that his once human ones had indeed been replaced with large, fluffy ones that twitched reflexively. "No!"  
"Find me again to receive the next riddle," the sphinx commanded and spread his wings.  
"No, no, wait," Dipper tried to plead, only to be ignored – the creature flapped its wings and flew off in another direction quickly. The brunette huffed in annoyance when it disappeared out of sight.  
"I should've given you deer ears to begin with, they really suit you," his demonic companion commented.  
"Be quiet," he muttered dejectedly.  
"Don't be sad, Pine Tree. We can still find him and beat him to death if he doesn't turn you back into a human," the other tried to assure him.  
"How comforting," the teen said sarcastically.  
"What are you waiting for? Let's go."

Sighing, Dipper stood up again and started trotting in the direction he saw the sphinx fly.  
"Wrong way," Bill said.  
"I saw him fly off that way," the thirteen-year-old nodded his head in the direction.  
"He did that to throw you off, he turned around and headed back that way," the immortal pointed in the other direction.  
"What a jerk," they started moving in the indicated direction. "You don't think he's gonna give me antlers if I get another one wrong do you?" he asked.  
"I hope so, they'd definitely look good."  
"No they wouldn't, I'd look like a freak. Why are you so happy about me being a deer anyway?"  
"Freaks are the best people, kid." He shrugged, "and I don't know. I just am."  
"The one thing you don't know," Dipper laughed.  
"Or maybe I do know and I just don't want to tell you."  
"Mm."  
"What?"  
"I didn't say anything."  
"You said 'mm.'"  
"So?"  
" _So,_ what are you mm-ing?"  
"Nothing, just saying mm."

They continued to idly chat while they made their ways through the forest until they came across the sphinx once more.  
"Hey," Dipper called.  
"How did you find me again so quickly?" the sphinx asked.  
"Oh yeah," Bill said. "I forgot he can't sense me. He probably thinks you have a split personality or temper problems or something," the demon snickered quietly. "Maybe that's why he let you answer the riddles; he was pitying you."  
"What's the third riddle?" Dipper asked.  
"Rather persistent," the sphinx sighed. "Alright. The third riddle: I welcome the day with a show of light, I stealthily came here in the night. I bathe the earthy stuff at dawn, but by the noon, alas. I'm gone."  
The newly-made cervitaur thought for only a minute before answering unsurely, "the sun?"  
"Wrong. The correct answer is the morning dew." Another bout of dizziness overwhelmed the boy and he leaned his figure against a nearby tree, startled when a sudden weight appeared on his head. "Find me again for the forth riddle," the creature ordered.  
"Wait, no – not again," he complained and tried to reach out, only for the sphinx to fly away once more. Reaching up to his head, he scowled and groaned in frustration at the new antlers that grew atop his head. "You've got to be kidding me," he complained, running his fingers along the velvety surface.  
Meanwhile, Bill was floating nearby and laughing loudly. "Oh, Pine Tree," he wiped a tear from his eye. "How precious," he slung an arm over the brunet's waist, where his human body connected to the deer's. "You know you could always just stay like this. Deer have certain advantages, you know."  
"I don't want to be a deer," Dipper gritted his teeth.  
"Cervitaur," the other corrected.  
"I don't care; I'm going to find the sphinx again. Which way did he go?"  
Bill pointed him in a certain direction and floated next to him idly as he walked. "How do you know I'm not lying so you stay as a cervitaur?" he grinned mischievously.  
The teen stopped walking and glared at the other, "you're kidding." Huffing at the other's lingering smirk, he turned to walk in the other direction.  
The immortal laughed, "I _was_ kidding. You were going the right way, turn around, Pine Tree."  
The cervitaur ignored him and continued walking.  
"Pine Tree~" he got no answer and continued to sing the mortal's name playfully, "you're not giving me the silent treatment are you?" he asked lightly. "That's so childish," he pouted jokingly.  
"Shut up, you aren't helping."  
"I am helping."  
"What have you actually done today that has helped me?"  
"I made you into a cervitaur, for one."  
"I didn't want to be a cervitaur!"  
"Well you gave me no choice, how else was I supposed to get your attention?"  
"Couldn't you have waited for one day? I just wanted to relax for today without monster hunting or anything like that, is that really too much to ask?"  
The demon's voice hardened into a more defensive tone. "Pine Tree, you spent the past three days with Shooting Star. I think I have the right to spend some time with you, too."  
"That's all we've been doing this summer; I've spent more time with you than I have with my own sister."  
"Good."  
"No, not good, Bill. I wanted some time alone with Mabel and then one day to relax, can you really not stay away for one more day?"  
"No. Pine Tree, you belong to me – I already left you alone for three days, isn't that good enough for you?" he growled angrily.  
"Wha- I don't belong to anybody; I should be able to choose when I want to do what without having to worry about being turned into a _deer_!" His steps were suddenly halted by the demon taking control of his body; "what are you doing?" he asked.  
"I already told you, you're going in the wrong direction." He turned the teen's body and bolted through the trees, easily adjusting to the new form.  
"I can do this by myself, stop controlling me," Dipper argued and tried to take control of his body back. Yanking his head back, he yelped when his new antlers were caught in a cluster of brambles that grew above his head. The two were forced to stop as the brunet tried to pull his antlers from the brambles, the deer half of his body instinctively bucking in an attempt to break free.  
"Good job, kid." Sarcasm dripped from each word and Bill moved his hands up to untangle the plant. "Stop your deer half from struggling, will y'? It's getting annoying," he commanded as he fiddled with the brambles.  
"Sorry," Dipper apologised and did as asked. The demon only hummed his acknowledgement so the teen repeated himself: "I mean sorry for shouting." Bill managed to free one of the brunet's antlers and the deer instincts almost forced him to bolt again or jerk his head, but he refrained. "I'm just annoyed about this whole situation and the stuff with the sphinx, that's all."  
"It's fine, don't worry about it," Bill replied and untangled the other antler.  
"Any chance you can get us there? You're a lot better at controlling a deer body than I am," he asked.  
Bill grinned, "of course, Pine Tree." Running through the trees again, they quickly came across the sphinx again only minutes later. "Riddle time," the demon announced to the creature.

Sighing, the sphinx stood from where he sat and said the riddle without hesitation: "forth riddle. When I am young, I go on four legs, then I go on two legs, then I go on three legs, and then I die."  
The cervitaur spoke as Bill appeared next to him, still in the human hunter form. "I think I've heard this one before. Is it man?"  
"Correct. The fifth and final riddle: with potent, flowery words speak I, of something common, vulgar, dry; I weave webs of pedantic prose, in effort to befuddle those, who think I wile time away, in lofty things, above all day the common kind that linger where monadic beings live and fare; practical I may not be, but life, it seems, is full of me."  
"Whoa, okay, uh…" he ran each line through his mind again, breaking down each word and trying to find the meaning of the riddle. "Sounds like propaganda to me," he muttered quietly.  
"Wrong."  
"Wait, that isn't my answer."  
"The correct answer is a riddle," he fanned out his wings and gave a predatory grin. "Meal time."  
"That wasn't my final answer, that's not fair," the other argued and stepped back.

The sphinx ignored him, however, and lunged forward – its claws were outstretched and ready to dig into the cervitaur's flesh. Bill moved the boy aside easily to dodge the attack. "What now?" Dipper asked worriedly.  
"It'll be pretty hard to fight like this," the demon admitted.  
"Who's fault is that?" the boy interrupted sarcastically.  
He only laughed, "but that doesn't mean I don't have a plan, Pine Tree." Waiting for the sphinx to stand up and spot them again, he turned and ran through the forest with a taunting laugh.  
"Make him angry so he wants to eat us more, great plan!" the brunet yelled.  
"Thanks," the other laughed and only continued to run, swiftly dodging any and all obstacles in their path. After a few minutes of running, the air became more humid and much warmer.  
"Where are you taking us, exactly?" Dipper asked.  
"You'll see," Bill replied and glanced back to make sure the sphinx was still chasing them – it was.

Breaking through the line of trees, they entered a small rocky area filled with a cluster of puddles of water; some were small enough to be the contents of a single glass of water, others were large ponds that could fit at least ten people. Steam rose from each puddle and into the air, warming up the atmosphere to a relaxing temperature. "A hot spring?" Dipper asked incredulously.  
"Just watch, and don't touch the water," Bill commanded. Leaping over each and every puddle, he ambled to the other side of the area and stopped to watch the sphinx that chased them. It stepped in each small puddle and splashed through the largest one that separated it from the duo, its steps slowed however halfway through the large spring and it shook uncontrollably.  
"What's happening?" Dipper asked but got no answer. The sphinx's large form seemed to be shrinking. Getting smaller and smaller, its fur getting shorter and short whilst its wings deformed and shrunk to a size so small that it couldn't hope to fly with them. "Is it… younger?"  
"Yup," Bill relied.  
The sphinx looked at them and continued to charge, bumping again the brunet's deer leg in an endeavour to do harm to him. It barely reached the teen's knees. He laughed, "how? Is it because of the hot springs?"  
"Yeah," he kicked the sphinx's small form away, it ran away into the forest quickly. "You could call it the fountain of youth. Except it's a hot spring, so you can actually call it the hot spring of youth."  
"Whoa, that's awesome."  
Bill reappeared next to the boy in his hunter form. "Well, that was fun. You ready to head back, Pine Tree?"  
He was about to give a happy response but stopped and frowned. "No, I'm still a cervitaur," he then responded irritably.  
"Oh right," the demon snapped his fingers and the teen's body collapsed to the ground, asleep. Weaving a blanket of magic around the mortal's form, the cervitaur was quickly transformed back into a boy. "Pine Tree~" he sang.  
The boy's eyes snapped open and he looked over himself while patting his head to check for antlers or ears. "You couldn't have done that in the first place?" Standing up, he only then noticed how tall the demon's human form was compared to him; about twice as tall as him. Perhaps a few inches taller than Stan?  
"Nope."  
"What about you?"  
"What about me?"  
"Your human look, are you going to keep it?"  
"Do you think I should?"  
"I don't know."  
"As fun as it is to look like one of you meat-sacks, it's a waste of energy so I'll be changing back now." With the click of his fingers, his hunter's outfit and human form had disappeared and he was back in his familiar triangle form. "Oh, would you look how dark it's gotten. You've spent the entire day as a deer and hunting down a sphinx. Wasn't this fun?" he hinted.  
"I guess," he admitted.  
"Great, now let's get you back to the shack." Taking the boy's hand in his, he teleported them back to the building quickly.

Once Bill had left, Dipper stepped through the door and entered the gift shop. What he hadn't expected was a trip-wire – or for that trip-wire to drop a cage over him when he tripped it.  
"Grunkle Stan!" he shouted, going over to the bars and wrapping his hands around the cool metal.  
"Aha!" shouted said man, jumping out from behind the thought to be empty counter. "Got y- oh. You're a human again."  
"Yes, now can you please get me out of this cage?"  
"I knew that you'd come back, but I was hoping you'd still be a deer-freak when you did. Oh well."  
The boy huffed.

* * *

 **Sphinx on Wikipedia:** **wiki/Sphinx ( _The sphinx in this chapter isn't entirely based on the Wiki one.)  
_ Sphinx bad annotations: There isn't one, just Google it.  
** **Drawing of Bill's human/hunter form:** **art/Hunter-Bill-601171440  
**

 **Yes it's an actual drawing and not a Bad Annotations, because I actually tried and I am currently really happy with it ;D  
The sphinx was requested, and I just _had_ to get 'Deerper' and hunter Bill in there somewhere cause that AU seems pretty cool. Who knows maybe I'll get some other AU chapters in here somewhere? Like the reverse pines? Who knows, tell me if you'd like that if if you wouldn't. Also, sorry if you really wanted Bill and Dipper to kiss near the start... That was just a joke to annoy all of my Billdip shippers. _(I'm guilty of shipping it, also so yes, I hate myself just as much as you hate me.)_  
**

 **Now, this chapter's plan:**

* * *

 _ **So Bill is going to pester Dipper because he wants to hang out and be fam, and is like: "Dippy-shoo why are you not paying attention to me?"**_  
 _ **Dipsy is gonna say: "get rekt, Bill. I is busy 360 no-scoping this novel!" and shows off his book to Bill (the book is Twilight.)**_  
 _ **Bill is gonna laugh and be like; "I NO! I mak u into an deer, lol."**_  
 _ **"Lol no. Get lost, Bill. It's the summer holiday, I don't want to be doing maths with a scalene triungle."**_  
 _ **"I is isosceles you idiot, get it rght."**_  
 _ **"Illuminati confirmed, ooooo."**_  
 _ **So yeah Billy-boo turns Pine Cone into a cervitaur or whatever it's called (Update: I Googled it, it is called a cervitaur. But I only know this because when I searched it, literally everything that came up was Billdip stories about Dipper being a deer! Google knows exactly what I want, it's magic.)**_  
 _ **So reppiD tries to persuade the circle – I mean triangle demon to turn him back but Billington is like; "Haha, no. If you wanna change back, you have to go eat an entire bucket of live maggots."**_  
 _ **"Lol, no. I'd rather stay a deer."**_  
 _ **"Wait, that was a typo on the script- who wrote this stuff? You actually have to go answer 5 riddles, so hop to, you moron. You can find the riddle-master over at KFC, he likes to eat lunch there."**_  
 _ **"Oh, k." Then he goes and asks Stan and stuff but Stanley's like; "Deer Dipper! Deerper! Time to go get a cage and trap my nephew in it so tourists can see. And I'll only feed him venison, then it'll be cannibalism!"**_  
 _ **So yeah in the end Deeper has to go talk to some crazy sphinx dude and answer 5 riddles (in the woods, not KFC…) I have no idea what riddles they'll be, I'll just go Google some more stuff. But it's gonna be something ridiculous like the questions you get in maths exams… E.g. 'Mabel has 7 apples and Dipper has 9 oranges. If they throw fifty pies at Gideon, what is the total surface area of Jupiter's 7th moon?'  
So yeah, the details of the riddle stuff will be explained in the actual fic cause I'm too lazy to put them in the plan, but in the end the sphinx is going to be like: "lol, I eat u now." **_  
_**Then obviously, Bill steps in and is like: "NO ONE EATS DEERPER EXCEPT ME! If you know what I mean," and kills the sphinx brutally… or maybe just punch him and he goes flying off like Team Rocket (is that what they're called?) in Pokémon. Something like that.**_  
 _ **In the end, Bill changes Deerper back to Dipper and Dippy's like; "you couldn't do that in the first place, fam?"**_  
 _ **Bill's like: "Nope ~O~" (and pulls that exact face ~O~ )**_

 _ **End off chappy xx**_

* * *

 **I didn't put the other plans in because they weren't as funny.  
** **Feel free to leave requests for any creatures/monsters/other weird stuff that you'd like to see.**

 **Thanks for reading, please review and all that if you liked this chapter ;D**


	19. Orthrus

**A bit shorter than I'd like, but oh well. Sorry in advance for any and all mistakes.**

* * *

"You were a deer and you didn't tell me?" Mabel asked in awe, offended at not being told of the occurrence sooner. "Why?"  
"Gee, well maybe I didn't really feel like galloping through town so everyone could laugh at me," Dipper replied and took a bite of his toast. "Besides," he spoke through a full mouth before swallowing. "You would've only laughed, too."  
"I would never," she replied and placed a hand over her heart in feigned offence. "Did you have antlers?" she giggled.  
"Maybe," he muttered through a sip of orange juice.  
"What?! I can't believe I missed that!" she pouted. Ford walked into the room then to pour himself a fresh cup of coffee.  
"Well I'm going out with Bill again today to find some goblins, you can come if you want. But I wouldn't take anything too valuable, they'd probably steal it."  
Mabel was about to reply when she spotted Ford gesturing to her wildly behind her brother, making exaggerated gestures to indicate for her to refuse. Dipper must have noticed her staring because he turned in his seat to look at his Great Uncle – the older man turned quickly to face the window whilst sipping his coffee, pretending not to listen. "No thanks," Mabel politely declined.  
Her brother only shrugged, "okay. I'm going to go now, anyway, see you later," he slipped out of the wooden chair to stand up.  
"What about your stuff?"  
"I'm leaving my journal and backpack here this time otherwise the goblins might steal it all."  
"Oh, ok. See you later, bro-bro." he smiled sincerely and gave him an exaggerated wave.  
"Bye," he closed the door and headed out into the forest.

"Mabel," Ford spoke the moment the boy was out of sight. "Come down to the basement, please."  
"Is this about the exorcism?"  
"Yes."  
"Can Soos and Wendy come? They helped me get the kyanite and they wanna help with all of this, too."  
"I suppose so," he accepted.  
Grinning happily, she called the two employees into a kitchen loudly and Ford winced, wiggling a finger in his ear at the loud volume of her shouts. Wendy and Soos soon appeared in the doorway.  
"Sup, hambone?" Soos asked.  
"What's up?" Wendy greeted.  
"It's about the demon thingy I told you about the other day," Mabel explained. The two seemed to noticed the importance of the subject and nodded seriously.  
"If you could all follow me," Ford lead them all down into the basement and took a seat; Soos and Mabel stood idly while Wendy leaned against the doorway – Bella was sitting on the desk and Stan was upstairs running the gift shop. Ford quickly explained the situation to the two workers who listened intently.  
"Whoa, man. That's probably why he's been acting off sometimes, I knew something was up," Wendy frowned.  
"Yeah, he threatened to put frog guts in my food a while ago… I was wondering what that was about," Soos admitted.  
"Now that you know, we need your help to get the next stone," Ford said.  
"You found it already? That was fast," Wendy replied.  
Bella spoke from her place on the desk: "we managed to make a sort of tracker. It can identify and locate the needed energy types for the exorcism and helps us to find where they are. We now have the location of another stone: bronzite."  
"Great, how can we get it?" Mabel asked.  
"In the forest," Ford explained. "I marked the location on your map; it's guarded by Orthrus, the two headed dog and brother of Cerberus."  
"Dude, is just me or is there a lot of dogs with more than one head is Gravity Falls?" Soos said.  
"The bronzite is a brown colour, it shouldn't be too hard to miss. Be careful."  
The girl nodded with determination before heading out with Soos and Wendy.

"Great Uncle Ford said it's in this direction," Mabel spoke as they entered the forest.  
"Dude, is this why you didn't want Dipper coming last time?" Soos asked.  
"Yeah, he would've wanted to know about it all and I didn't want him to know," Mabel explained but didn't turn to look at the two.  
Wendy spoke up, then: "why don't you just tell him that Bill's up to something? He's pretty smart, he'd help us, right?"  
Mabel sighed, "Bill is doing something to him. I bet he's doing a bunch of voodoo hoo-do junk on his brain or something!" she crossed her eyes and spun her fingers around the sides of her head to demonstrate her point.  
"Let's just hurry up and find this bronzite or whatever," the red-head hurried.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

The trio eventually came across a large clearing. Shocked at the sight before her, Mabel gasped and pointed at the sight: "look! Cows!" The clearing was indeed filled with a heard of large, odd looking cows: perhaps hundreds of them. However, instead of the regular black spots one would expect on cattle, they each had different coloured ones; some had pink spots and others had green while some others had yellow. The colours were a bright and endless spectrum.  
"Dude, check it out!" Soos called while petting one of the cows that had bright yellow spots. "This one likes me."  
"Whoa, they're so cool," Mabel gushed.  
"You think you can milk 'em?" the man laughed. Bending over, he looked beneath the animal in search for an udder. "Do you think you can get milk from a yellow glowy stone?" he asked.  
"Yellow glowy stone?" Wendy echoed as the girls approached.  
"Yeah, dude. Look," he moved aside for the duo to bend down and look.  
"Whoa," Mabel ran a finger along the smooth surface of the diamond-shaped stone. "Why is there a rock in its stomach? Do you think they all have them?" she leaned up and looked at the other cattle, only to get pulled down again by Wendy. The red-head pulled Soos down, too and hushed them: "wait, do you hear that?"  
The trio listened intently for a short moment. "It sounds like a dog growling," Mabel whispered.  
"Do you still have that map?" Wendy asked quietly. The brunette pulled out the scroll from her backpack quietly, the only sound being that of the paper scraping against fabric. Taking the map from the younger girl, the red-head unfurled the parchment and looked it over before informing the other two: "this is where that gem is supposed to be. Which means that big, two-headed mutt is around here somewhere." Handing the map back to the younger teen, Mabel slipped it back into her bag.  
"So where's the bronzite stone?"  
"Hey, dudes – these cows all have stones in their stomachs too," Soos whispered from behind another animal. The girls crawled over to the blue-spotted mammal and checked beneath its stomach to discover that it, too, had a gem buried in its stomach – however, this one was blue. Wendy checked another green-spotted one to find a green gem and Mabel checked a red-spotted one to discover a red gem. "I think the gems match the colour of their spots," Soos concluded. "Pretty cool huh?"  
"Soos, you're a genius," Mabel beamed.  
"I have only the grey-beards to thank for that," Soos said with a serious expression but only received confused looks from the others. "And Altaïr," he quickly added.  
"Okay~? Well we need to find the cow with brown spots because Ford said that the gem is brown, right?" Wendy instructed.  
"Does that mean I get to hug them all?" the youngest of the three gushed. "My one life time goal: to hug rainbow cows… I've been waiting for this day for a very long time."  
"Right, well how hard can it be?" the red-head asked, standing fully and looking over the heard. She instantly regretted it. There were hundreds of cattle that they would need to check over – that might not have been so bad if it weren't for the huge dog that stood in the centre of the group, watching everything with a keen eye. Orthrus – the dog, they assumed - looked just like Cerberus but owned only two heads.

Wendy turned to give advice to her companions about how they should go about the situation, only to find them both gone. Looking around, she saw Mabel atop a pink spotted cow near the other side of the herd, holding its ears and commanding it playfully: "go, Kanye! It is our duty to find your brown-spotted friend, and we must fulfil this duty immediately!" The cow obviously didn't move.  
Meanwhile Soos was on the other side of the herd, chasing another cow around in circles and shouting a video-game reference loudly: "I must get your milk to heal myself fully!"

The red-head only stared, dumbfounded at the scene that played out before her. How had Orthrus not noticed them yet? Glancing at the huge hound, it was itching one ear on its right head with its back foot, eyes closed as it did so – she scanned the herd of cows quickly in search for the brown-spotted mammal but her eyes were only met with obnoxiously cartoonish and bright colours. But then she spotted it; it might have been black, but it was the darkest coloured cow that she could find so she endeavoured to wade through the other animals to reach it: pushing aside heads that grazed on the grass; sides that wanted to be petted and even one backside that emptied its waste on the ground next to her. Wrinkling her nose in disgust, she decided to ignore that as she pushed herself up on her arms to jump over a cow's body that stood in her way.

Finally, she reached the black-spotted cow and ducked down to avoid Orthrus' sight. Ignoring the bad smell that clung to her nostrils, she looked at the mammal's stomach and there was an obsidian gem lodged in the fat. Being the closest she could hope to find, she stood up again and started conjuring ways to lead the cow away in her mind – however, her thoughts were quickly interrupted by a loud and vicious bark. Snapping her head around, she saw a pair or empty white eyes looking in her direction and the girl couldn't help but wonder how Orthrus had noticed her presence before Mabel's or Soos'. The animals surrounding the teen moved aside when Orthrus stood and moved toward her, almost like Moses parting the red sea… except this was a hell-hound parting a herd of colourful cattle. Taking advantage of the new space, she forgot about the cow in favour of running away, sprinting at full speed away from the drooling, growling canine behind her: the floor shook with each step it took.

Mabel and Soos must have noticed the commotion and had started running, too – back through the forest in the direction of the shack. The cow Soos had been chasing followed him as he ran. Wendy quickly caught up with the two and they crossed the border of the clearing to enter the woods, hopping over rocks and dodging trees; behind them, Orthrus pounced in an attempt to catch them but was stopped by the thick throng of trees – he leaned on them heavily, reaching a paw in to get them. The trio worried that the trees might snap so it could chase them, but eventually they were out of sight and safely hidden in the forest, panting.  
"G…great," Wendy panted. "We didn't even get the right cow."  
"Hey, at least we got Chocolate, here," Soos tried to assure them and patted the back of the animal that had followed them.  
"Chocolate?" Mabel asked; neither girl looked at the mammal properly until they heard the man's reply:  
"Yeah, it has brown spots that remind me of chocolate, so I called her that."  
"Brown spots?" the duo asked simultaneously and their heads whipped up to look at it: despite the lack of light shining through the canopy, they could clearly see the chocolatey brown splodges that patterned its skin.  
"Soos, that's the one!" Mabel cheered.  
"It is?"  
"Yeah, man," Wendy said. "That's the cow that we need, it has the bronzite stone."  
Mabel leaned down and was about to take the gem from its stomach but hesitated when it looked at her with a mouth full of grass. "Wait…" she said. "What'll happen if we take the gem out? Will she die?" she looked unsurely at her friends.  
The older two exchanged worried glances, "we don't know, man," Wendy admitted.  
"I know," Soos perked up. "Let's take Chocolate to Mr Pines, he'll know what to do."  
"Yeah, good idea. Great Uncle Ford always knows what to do," Mabel agreed.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

"Is that a cow?" Ford asked as he stepped out the shack, eying the animal curiously.  
"Yup, it has the bronzite in its stomach," Mabel said.  
"It ate it?"  
The girl laughed shortly, "no – it's literally _in_ its stomach. See," she knelt down and grabbed at the fat beneath it, twisting it slightly to show the older man.  
His brows lifted in recognition; "ah, yes. Now I remember, I came across these cattle many years ago. They have gems in their stomachs to keep them safe, but the gems don't actually affect the animals, themselves."  
"So what do we do? Can we take it out?" Wendy asked.  
"Yes, yes. The cow will just take the form of energy and hide in the gem." Leaning down, he removed the brown stone from the animal's stomach. It looked at him before vanishing into a small, brown light – only as big as the man's finger nail – and being absorbed by the gem. "See," Ford said.  
"So what does that one do?" Mabel asked.  
"The stone? It provides clear thought. It should be useful in clearing Dipper's thoughts when the time comes, hopefully enough that Bill won't be able to use him in any way."  
"Use him?" the girl asked, brows furrowing in confusion.  
"Without this stone, there's a good chance that Bill would try to hide in Dipper's body or get him to make us stop," Ford explained.  
"Do you know where any of the other gems are, yet?" Wendy asked.  
"We might have the rough area of one, but it could take a day or two to hone in on the exact location," the man explained.

"What are you guys talking about?"  
The group turned to the source of the voice, behind Soos.  
"Dipper," Mabel said in shock.  
"What were you guys talking about?" the boy asked again. "I heard something about making someone stop? And finding a gem?"  
"We were just discussing something important, there's no need to concern yourself with it," Ford quickly replied.  
"We were just finding another stone for Great Uncle Ford today," Mabel said. "For his research," she lied.  
"What stone?" he asked. A flash of gold in his eyes and the small – almost unnoticeable – smirk that graced his lips conveyed that it wasn't her brother who asked. Glancing down, she noticed the tell-tale sign of Bill's presence: below her brother's feet, a stretched, triangular shadow was cast behind him, almost blocked by his figure.  
"Where are your shoes? And your vest?" Mabel asked, noticing their disappearance and trying to change the subject.  
"Goblins. What stone?" he asked again.  
"Just some bronzite, dude," Soos quickly replied before anyone else could think of a lie – he failed to notice the subtle glares sent his way from Ford, Mabel and Wendy.  
"Bronzite?" a grin lit up Dipper's face as his eyes scanned the group. "I wouldn't mess around with that sort of junk, if I were you. I hear that bad things happen to people who look for them."  
No one spoke for a short few seconds before Ford shattered the intense atmosphere with his assurance: "we know what we're doing, don't worry." He caught the boy – or more likely Bill – eying the bronzite he held in his hands and pocketed it quickly.  
The grin on the boy's face vanished quickly and he looked at his twin sister: "wanna play some mini-golf?" he asked unexpectedly.  
Shocked with the sudden question, she forced a smile, "sure."  
Dipper gave a sincerer smile, "bet I can beat you this time," he challenged  
"Bet you can't," she accepted and the two ran inside to play. It was only Dipper who missed the concerned look she threw back at her friends briefly.

* * *

 **Orthrus on Wikipedia: wiki/Orthrus  
Orthrus Bad Annotations: Nope, sorry.  
**

 **So that's 2/5 stones collected, what did you think? I'm sure you can tell that I didn't try too hard with this chapter like I should have, I'm sorry.**

 **I really hate how Ford has become one of the main characters in getting rid of Bill, I don't even like him.  
However, I do love Soos - 90% of the reason I put him in there is so that I can quote and reference different TV shows and video games that I play xD (If you got any of the video game references, I love you. The grey-beards thing is for Skyrim, the Altair thing is Assassin's Creed and the milk for healing thing is Legend of Zelda.)**

 **Ok, so I have an important question for you all which I need you to answer. The next chapter is going to be what Bill and Dipper did with the goblin, but I want some advice for what to do after that. I'm stuck between two choices: carry on the story how it's going with all of the other monsters and filler chapters. Or I can only write main plot from here on out. If I only write main plot, I'll definitely write a side story after I finish this one which will be full of side stories of Dipper (and his friends) adventures, but there won't be anymore main plot in there. The main plot will detail about Mabel collecting the other three gems but won't have anything else in between the chapters then go on about the exorcism and whatever happens after that. So what do you all want? Main plot now and adventure after _or_ main plot and adventure mixed together? I don't mind what you all pick.**

 **So anyways, here's this chapter's plan - not as fun as usual, sorry:  
**

* * *

 _ **This episode on Peppa Pig: Mabel, Soos and Wendy go on another gem-adventure! Dipper is explaining to Mabeline about the Deerper adventure and that he's going to go with Bill to find a goblin today. So yeah, when he leaves to go do that stuff, Ford beeps his horn (get it?) and calls Mabel down to the cellar/basement/that floor under the ground floor and explains a bunch of do-da stuff that will never be explained in the plan. (Basically just about the next stone, bronzite. Btw, if you're curious, these are based on proper rocks that I read about. I do my research for this fic! Albeit very bad research, but still research.) So yeah, it turns out Mabeline and the squad need to go find Orthrus the weirdo dog and beat him up to get the bronzite. Now, if Wikipedia isn't a complete lie, Orthrus guard's cows. For some stupid reason, I mean if I had a giant 2-headed dog, I wouldn't get it to guard freaking cows! Send him to the bank, let him eat all the criminals or something, not cows. Anyways, Wendy Testaburger (South Park fans, anyone?) go with Soos (whose name I always thought was spelled Zeus until I saw it written.) and Mabel (just Mabel, no sarcastic comment.) to find this Orthrus (whose name I keep misspelling, damn it.) Turns out that giant mutt is actually guarding real cows! The Gravity Squad (minus Dipper) have to find the right cow from the herd which has the stone embedded in its stomach (don't ask, let's just pretend that they're magic cows or something… (so many brackets…(Now they're brackets inside more brackets and in even more brackets! (Quadruple brackets, wow!)))) So they need to sneak around the heard of cows and find the right one with the right gem so they can take it away. To do this, they need a disguise! Queue James Bond music! So they dress Soosy-boy in a cow outfit and sneak through the heard and he flirts with the cows cause why not. The right cow likes Soos and they run off into the sunset together. If the Mystery Shack could be considered the sunset. No? Ok, then. Sorry, no action this chapter. When she comes up from the basement later, she bumps into Dippyloo and he's like "watch where u going, m9."**_  
 _ **And Mabel will be like: "Brother! Where hast thou shoes gone?"**_  
 _ **Turns out some goblin stole them. Yup. So, they play mini-gold upstairs.**_

 _ **End of chapter x**_

* * *

 **So yeah, there you go. Please tell me what you want in the reviews plot wise, and don't forget that you can request any creatures you want to.**

 **Thanks for reading, please review and all that stuff if you liked this chapter. (I know I didn't like it though, so did you?)**


	20. Goblin

**We have two special guests this chapter! Give a round of applause for Donald Trump and Miley Cyrus (who have no important roles whatsoever.)  
Sorry in advance for any and all mistakes. **

* * *

"You were a deer and you didn't tell me?" Mabel asked in awe, offended at not being told of the occurrence sooner. "Why?"  
"Gee, well maybe I didn't really feel like galloping through town so everyone could laugh at me," Dipper replied and took a bite of his toast. "Besides," he spoke through a full mouth before swallowing. "You would've only laughed, too."  
"I would never," she replied and placed a hand over her heart in feigned offence. "Did you have antlers?" she giggled.  
"Maybe," he muttered through a sip of orange juice.  
"What?! I can't believe I missed that!" she pouted. Dipper glanced behind him briefly when Ford walked into the room then to pour himself a fresh cup of coffee.  
"Well I'm going out with Bill again today to find some goblins, you can come if you want. But I wouldn't take anything too valuable, they'd probably steal it."  
Mabel looked like she was about to reply but paused, eyes flicking to the space behind him. Dipper turned to look behind him at the man who was standing by the window, staring out idly while taking a long sip of coffee.  
"No thanks," Mabel politely declined.  
The boy only shrugged, "okay. I'm going to go now, anyway, see you later," he slipped out of the wooden chair to stand up.  
"What about your stuff?"  
"I'm leaving my journal and backpack here this time otherwise the goblins might steal it all."  
"Oh, ok. See you later, bro-bro." she smiled sincerely and gave him an exaggerated wave.  
"Bye," he closed the door and headed out into the forest.

"Finally," Bill appeared next to him as soon as he shut the door and floated next to him.  
"Hey, aren't you worried about my Great Uncle Ford seeing you?" his brows furrowed while they walked toward the forest.  
"Sixer can't see me, remember?"  
"Oh yeah. So where are these goblins you were talking about?"  
"Just keep walking, they won't take long to find."  
"You're not going to turn me into a deer again are you? Or something worse like an actual goblin?"  
"Pine Tree, you really think I'd do that?" he placed a small hand over a part of his triangular face which Dipper assumed was where the demon's heart was. Although the gesture made him wonder…  
"Do you have a heart?" he asked and stepped over a loose stone as he entered the forest.  
"What makes you ask that?"  
"Just curious."  
"Haven't you heard the saying; 'curiosity killed the cat'?"  
"Haven't you heard that cats have nine lives? I'd say I have at least five left," the boy countered jokingly.  
The demon only laughed, "touché, kid. And no, I don't have a heart because I don't actually need one. Yet."  
"Yet?"  
"Once you get me that physical form, I'll need a heart to survive."  
He hummed, "about that, when do you want me to get you a physical form?"  
"Sometime soon."  
"How soon?"  
"Soon, soon."  
"Are you going to stay looking like a triangle, or…?" Dipper trailed off.  
"I think I'll take the form of one of you meat-sacks, it kind of reminds me of those fancy five star hotels; much better than a mouthless triangle or some animal without thumbs. It'll be much less restraining… That is, if I have a choice. It really depends on how you get me a physical form."  
"Fair enough."

The duo continued to travel in silence for a minute, the only conversation being that of Bill's directions. However, the peace was soon disturbed by shouting in the distance: "look harder! That little pest is around here somewhere."  
Dipper would recognise that voice anywhere. Stepping carefully past the few tall trees that stood in his way, he soon entered a small area void of any trees, three people stood in it. One was a man with messy blonde hair, he appeared old and a scowl was etched on his features. The other was a tall woman who was also blonde and wearing bright red lipstick. The two were dressed in tidy, black business-like outfits and examining each and every corner of the small space thoroughly. In the centre of the space with her arms crossed was a much shorter blonde girl, looking impatient – clad in a plum dress and a jacket over the top, she stood on a white towel that had been laid beneath her feet.

"Pacifica?" Dipper asked.  
The three blondes looked at him before the young girl ordered the workers to keep searching. "What do you want?" she asked him.  
"Why are you standing on a towel?" he asked.  
"Your family might be poor and not care about _your_ shoes, but there's no way I'm getting these boots dirty. Do you have any idea how much I paid for these?" She didn't give him the chance to answer, however when she carried on speaking: "why are _you_ here?"  
"We were looking for goblins," he answered.  
"What, is Mabel with you, too?" she glanced around.  
"Uh, no. What about you? I never thought you'd want to come into the woods and get your precious shoes dirty."  
She glared at him angrily, "it's none of your business."  
He rolled his eyes and turned when she stopped him; "wait. You know these woods pretty well, right?"  
He turned to face her again and nodded.  
"You… I want you to help me find something," she said.  
"Find what?"  
Sighing, she explained what had happened: "these two," she gestured over her shoulder to point at her butlers. "Were helping me put more mirrors in my bedroom when he," she pointed to the man who winced at the way she spat the pronoun. "Decided to knock my precious necklace out of the window. And as if that wasn't bad enough, when I ordered him to go get it, some horrible little gremlin came out of nowhere and stole it." She huffed in irritation, "so we came all the way out here to look for it. That necklace cost me ten thousand dollars, my parents would go nuts if they found out it's missing."  
"Gee, I thought a family as rich – and snooty – as yours would have no problem replacing it," Dipper replied sarcastically.  
She only glared at him viciously before replying; "normally they would, but it's a rare stone so you won't find it anywhere else on the market," she bragged.  
"Mm. Well, good luck with that," he turned again when she stopped him once more:  
"Wait, you aren't going to help me?" Before he could refuse, she spoke up: "I'll pay you. One hundred bucks."

He considered it for a moment when Bill spoke from next to him. He'd forgotten the demon was still there but listened quietly; "you're really going to help llama girl? We have other things to be doing, Pine Tree – besides, what has she ever done for you, exactly?"  
Dipper thought for another short few moments and offered a hand to the girl; "deal." Pacifica shook his hand – reluctant to touch him at first - and he spoke again: "you said it was a gremlin, right? What did it look like?"  
"I didn't really get a good look at it," she admitted. "It was like a super short and green person it had these disgusting brown rags for clothes and a really big nose."  
He hummed in thought as his brain went over a list of creatures that fit the description: "well, if it's a short person that narrows it down to gremlins, gnomes, leprechauns, goblins and dwarves. Green skin and big nose? Gremlins have fur, gnomes have big noses but definitely aren't green; leprechauns wear green but _aren't_ green themselves and dwarves never wear brown rags, they actually have very thick, rich clothes like fur pelts and stuff. Sounds like a goblin." Pulling out the journal from his vest, he skimmed over the pages until he found the right one and turned the book around to show the blonde; "did it look like this?" he tapped his index finger on the sketch of a goblin.  
"Yeah, exactly the same," she confirmed.  
"Alright, good. Actually we originally came into the woods today to look for goblins," he mused.  
"We," she echoed, "is Mabel with you or not?"  
"No, she isn't. I just meant uh… the royal we," he lied.  
She made a noise that made it obvious she didn't believe him, but didn't press on the matter. "So can you help me find it or not?"  
"Goblins are known for being greedy and stealing things, so it's no surprise that it stole something as expensive as your necklace. They usually hide their treasure in burrows underground or hollowed out trees." Recalling what Bill had said when they first entered the forest, the goblins shouldn't be too far from where they were. "They're close," he informed.  
"How can you tell?" Pacifica raised an eyebrow.  
"Just a hunch," he shrugged nonchalantly. ' _Any ideas where it is?'_ he thought to Bill who still floated next to him, invisible to anyone but him.  
"So now you listen to me?" the demon replied and crossed his arms.  
"Oh come on, don't be a jerk," he complained.  
"What?" Pacifica asked. "I didn't say anything," she bit back.  
"O-oh yeah, sorry. I didn't mean you, I… Let's just find that necklace," he hurried to turn around and started walking.  
"Other direction, Pine Tree," Bill said. The boy spun on his heels again with a huff, coming face to face with Pacifica who stood behind him, mere inches from his face. She stepped back quickly with a bright flush.  
"Stop doing that," she complained. "Try to kiss me again and I'll sue you."  
"I wasn't trying to kiss you," he argued, face reddening quickly. Bill snickered from next to him and Dipper sent him a glare. "Let's just go," he walked quickly and Pacifica followed.  
"Donald, Miley, hurry up," she commanded.

"Alright, Pine Tree. Stop here," Bill instructed after a few minutes of walking in silence. Dipper stopped in place and Pacifica bumped into him with a soft 'oof'.  
"Hey, watch it," the blonde teen hissed.  
The brunet hushed her, "listen," he whispered. The group listened intently for a minute at the loud scuffling that resounded through the area.  
The girl cringed visibly, "what is that?" she asked in a hushed voice.  
"The goblin," he whispered back.  
"Ms Northwest-" one of the butlers – Donald Trump – said. "Perhaps we should return to the mansion," he suggested.  
Before anyone could reply, a small creature hopped down from a branch above their heads to stand in front of them.

It was a small, hideous creature. Not much taller than the gnomes and had flesh so green that it could camouflage with the grass; its eyes were small and dark compared to its large, red nose; its mouth twisted into a grin, yellow and rotten teeth filled with dirt and maggots. Just as Pacifica had described, its clothes were nothing more than old, brown rags and its stumpy feet were bare – its head was bald without anything to cover it, not hair nor fabric.  
"That's it," Pacifica announced. "That's the thing that stole my necklace! Give it back or so help me," she pushed past Dipper and pointed an accusing finger at the goblin, "I will sue your entire filthy family of ugly little thieves."  
It stared at the girl for a moment and Dipper noticed more scurrying through the branches, then a few pairs of eyes peeking around trunks to stare at them. "Uh, Pacifica…" he tried to warn.  
"Where did you put it you grubby pest?" the blonde asked angrily.  
A few more pairs of eyes glanced around at them from other places. "Pacifica…" he tried to warn again.  
"Ha, this should get good," Bill laughed and disappeared to take refuge in the brunet's mind; not a good sign – that usually meant things were about to get dangerous.  
"Alright, you asked for it," Pacifica leaned back and snapped her fingers. "Miley, come get my necklace back from this little gremlin," she ordered.  
Just as the butler was about to step forward, the goblin raised a single, stubby hand and made an oddly complicated gesture – once it completed the gesture, a large group of green creatures scuttled across to stand in front of the first goblin. "Oh no, you're not getti-" Pacifica's complaints were cut off when Dipper dragged her away.  
"Don't bother, just run," he ordered quickly. She followed his command wordlessly, the duo ran quickly with Donald and Miley close behind.

The green creatures were quick to follow, right on their heels and snarling, growling, spitting, gnashing teeth – eager to catch them and do who knows what to them. A thick tree stood in their way ahead, splitting the path in two; Dipper and Pacifica ran left while Donald and Miley ran right, splitting up the small group: the beings chasing them also split into two groups. The larger group had gone right to chase the butlers while a much smaller group of only three or four chased the teenagers left. "The butlers were useless anyway," Pacifica dismissed. Suddenly, a small weight caught Dipper's foot and he fell forward; twisting his body around, there was a goblin clinging to his shoes, nibbling at the laces. "Dipper!" the blonde called.  
Bill lit the boy's fist lit up in an azure flame, punching the small creature from his feet easily – it was sent flying into a nearby tree, carrying the brunet's shoes with it. Stumbling up, the boy silently thanked the demon in his mind and hurried to run alongside his blonde companion quickly, ignoring the prickling twigs, rocks and grass that jabbed at his feet.  
"What was that? Was your hand on _fire_?" she asked in a panic.  
"Yes," he didn't bother lying. Before he knew it, there was yet another weight on his back, this time pulling at his vest; he slipped his arms out of the fabric and the blue material dropped to the floor, the goblin hanging onto it and falling to the floor with it. He silently preyed to himself that he wouldn't end up losing _all_ of his clothing to the creatures – Bill laughed at the thought in his head.

' _Can I just burn 'em all? C'mon, you know it'll be a lot more fun than running,'_ Bill spoke in his head.  
The boy found himself considering it for a moment when a scream from the girl next to him stopped him. Spinning around, a goblin was pulling at Pacifica's hair harshly. Distracted by the soft strands of hair, the small being didn't know what – literally – hit it until Dipper's foot was in its face, kicking it away – the boy helped Pacifica back to her feet to run again and she thanked him quickly.

After running for a few more short minutes of running, Pacifica yanked the brunet to a stop, "wait," she commanded.  
"What are you doing?" he asked.  
"I hear music," she said, ignoring the goblins that inched closer to them slowly, cornering them against a tree. "It can't be," she muttered. "Is that…?"  
She didn't finish her sentence before the tall silhouettes of five people jumped out from behind a bush, standing between the two teens and the creatures. From the back, Dipper saw that they each donned white clothing – white shirts and vests, white trousers, white shoes, one of the five even had a white hat. Styled, blonde hair grew from their heads and Pacifica gasped at the sight: "it is! It's Sev'ral Timez!"  
"Sev'ral Timez?" Dipper asked.  
The five men posed dramatically as if for a poster and one of them spoke; "yo, dog. Let's dance at these fools."  
Another one spoke up, "let's do this, straight brutal."  
"Twenty-sixteen!" another shouted.  
Suddenly, the group jumped forward and began to dance, singing in unison: "girl, you got me actin' so cray-cray. Tell me that you won't be my baby. We're not threatening, girl – yeah!"  
The goblins exchanged confused glances with one another, muttering in a language only they could understand, before running back the way they came.  
"What… just happened?" Dipper asked.  
The band turned around simultaneously and looked at them. "What's up, girl?" one of the band members asked, posing.  
The two teens only stood in silence, stunned by what had just happened; the brunet couldn't help but wonder how the band had maintained such perfect hair and clothes over the year he and Mabel had been gone.  
"Sev'ral Timez, oh my gosh!" Pacifica said happily. "You saved us from those ugly, green gremlins."  
"It's what we do, girl," one of them said – the one he recognised as Deep Chris from Mabel's obsessive ranting about them. He would never admit that he knew the band members' names and who was who.  
"You've been here for an entire year?" Dipper asked.  
The five men nodded simultaneously and the teenage boy could have sworn he heard a burst of pop music with each gesture they made.  
"Wait," the blonde teen said, "what about my necklace? It's still missing," she frowned.  
"You mean this?" Leggy P asked and held up a silver chain adorned with cobalt blue gems. "Girl, one of them goblins dropped it when they ran off."  
"Oh my gosh, yes," she smiled and took the jewellery, placing it around her neck and tucking it under the fabric of her dress.  
"Great," Bill suddenly spoke through Dipper. "Let's go because this is getting old fast, kid."

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Pacifica had gone home in a limo after they left the forest – they had found Donald and Miley waiting by the sleek, black vehicle for the girl and she had refused to pay him the money she'd promised because she claimed that Sev'ral Timez were the ones who actually found her necklace. Dipper wasn't surprised at the turn of events.  
"How boring, I can't believe you did all that," Bill complained. "You didn't even get that money she promised; if I were you, I'd have gouged out those blue eyes of hers and kept them as a reminder to never break a promise."  
Dipper shuddered, "ew. No," he replied. "But hey, at least we actually found some goblins… even if they did steal my shoes and vest." The brunet noticed a group of people outside of the shack talking and he recognised them not as tourists but as his friends and family: Mabel, Ford, Soos and Wendy. Pieces of the conversation became clearer as he neared them:  
"…him to make us stop," Ford was explaining.  
"Do you know where any of the other gems are, yet?" Wendy asked.  
"We might have the rough area of one, but it could take a day or two to hone in on the exact location," the man explained.

Stepping up behind Soos, he interrupted the conversation: "What are you guys talking about?"  
The group seemed to have only just noticed him and everyone turned to face him, worry etched on their features.  
"Dipper," Mabel said in clear shock.  
"What were you guys talking about?" the boy asked again. "I heard something about making someone stop? And finding a gem?"  
"We were just discussing something important, there's no need to concern yourself with it," Ford quickly replied.  
"We were just finding another stone for Great Uncle Ford today," Mabel explained. "For his research."  
Bill spoke up through him: "what stone?"  
"Where are you shoes?" Mabel asked, "and your vest?" He knew she was trying to change the subject.  
"Goblins. What stone?" he asked again.  
"Just some bronzite, dude," Soos answered; Dipper didn't fail to notice the glares that the other three sent at Soos.  
"Bronzite?" Bill grinned, "I wouldn't mess around with that sort of junk, if I were you. I hear that bad things happen to people who look for them." The boy didn't bother trying to stop the demon's words; he wanted to know what his friends and family were trying to hide.  
No one spoke for a short few seconds before Ford shattered the intense atmosphere with his assurance: "we know what we're doing, don't worry." He pocketed the gem quickly and Bill let the smirk disappear from his face.  
Deciding quickly to change the subject, Dipper faced his twin and asked: "wanna play some mini-golf?"  
She seemed shocked by the question but smiled anyway, readily accepting the offer.  
Dipper gave a smile, too, "bet I can beat you this time," he challenged.  
"Bet you can't," she accepted.

Running up to the attic together, they played mini-golf for the rest of the night; Dipper couldn't help but notice that Bill didn't leave but did remain silent in the boy's mind.  
"Yay!" Mabel suddenly cheered, raising her arms in the air enthusiastically. "How do you like that, Dip-dop?" she bragged.  
"Another hole in one?" he grinned, "guess that means you win."  
"I should've bet money on it!" she announced.  
He yawned and glanced at the clock, "it's already close to eleven, I'm gonna go to bed."  
She released her own yawn before putting her golf club away with her brother's and agreeing: "yeah, me too."  
"Oh yeah, guess what," he smiled as he snuggled up under the covers of his bed.  
"What?" she pulled Waddles close to her and snuggled up, too.  
"I saw Sev'ral Timez in the woods today."  
She gasped, "really? They're still there?"  
"Yup," he laughed. "It's amazing how they keep their hair looking so…" he made a vague gesture over his head.  
"So perfect? They're just born with it," she giggled. "Oh yeah, I get my braces out tomorrow," she said.  
"Oh yeah, I forgot about that," he replied.  
"It'll feel weird without them."  
"Without metal in your mouth?"  
"Yeah," she laughed.  
He laughed too and they wished each other good night; Mabel switched off the light and the room was bathed in darkness.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

"Hey," the single word cut through his dream like a knife, pulling him awake quickly. "Pine Tree, wake up." The boy's eyes flicked open and he squinted at the brightness of his demonic companion.  
"What?" he groaned quietly.  
"I need you to do something for me," Bill quickly explained.  
"Can't I do it in the morning?"  
"No, it's important."  
"The forest isn't on fire again is it?" he rubbed at his eyes and sat up.  
"No, I need you to go down into the basement and see what sixer's been doing down there."  
"I-" he yawned briefly, "can't. Great Uncle Ford's always down there, he won't let me see anything he does anymore," he frowned. "Are you really that paranoid?"  
"I'm _not_ paranoid. Fordsy is up to something, but I don't know what since he keeps all of that junk hidden down in the basement. Now go down there; ol' Fez convinced him to sleep on the couch downstairs for once, so the basement empty right now."  
"What about Bella? She stays down there, too."  
The immortal pointed over his edge to Mabel's bed, "on Shooting Star's bed. Now hurry up before anyone wakes up."

Sighing, he slipping off of the bed and quietly made his way downstairs. He caught sight of Ford sleeping on the sofa in the living room, just as Bill had said. ' _What am I even looking for?'_ he thought to the demon that floated next to him.  
"Anything that looks suspicious," the other spoke aloud.  
 _'Like?'_  
"Like suspicious things, now get going."  
Huffing impatiently, Dipper entered the code to the vending machine and headed downstairs silently.

The room was as messy as always when he flicked the lights on. Papers flooded the floor, books littered the desks – when was the last time the room had been cleaned or organised? He picked up a stack of papers on the desk that he knew his Great Uncle used most frequently and flicked through the pages, tired eyes scanning the words quickly. Information on parallel universes? Not suspicious. Sketches of constellations? Not suspicious. A door that eats people who walk through it? Not suspicious. Details on imp magic? Not suspicious. Ghost Exorcisms? Not suspicious. Demonic exorcisms? Very suspicious.  
Scanning each word on the page, any lingering tiredness vanished once he finished the first paragraph. His family planned to exorcise Bill. Skimming the rest of the page, he mumbled the words aloud: "I believe that if I were to recreate this symbol, it could be used to remove a demon's presence from the area and furthermore breaking any deals or ties with humans." He flipped the paper over in search of an image of the symbol mentioned, but found nothing. Glancing around the room, he concluded that there must be something on the bookshelf; that was where the most important parchments were kept, right? Wandering over, he ran a finger over the books as he read each title; finding a navy blue book with no title, he pulled it out to take a look at it only for papers to fall out from between the pages. Sighing, he knelt over to collect the fallen papers when he noticed something on the wall in front of him. Running his index finger over the surface, he pulled it back and rubbed his thumb and index finger together curiously. "Is this chalk?" he muttered to himself. His mind flicked back to when he'd come down here not long ago and heard his Great Uncle pushing something heavy around the room – he had assumed it was his desk at the time and had forgotten about it. Was it the shelf that had been moved?

Lodging his small fingers in the crack between the shelf and the wall, he pulled carefully to move the heavy object away without it toppling over. Once the gap was big enough, he stood back and was stunned into silence by the sight: etched onto the wall in chalk was a large, circular symbol. Around the edge was different symbols or objects: a star; a stitched heart; a llama; and more that the boy couldn't hope to understand at that moment. What drew his attention was the centre of the circle: a large drawing of Bill's triangular form.

"Dipper."  
The brunet turned sharply at the voice that called his name, behind him was Ford, staring at him. "What is this?" Dipper pointed at the symbol and then gestured to the papers on the desk, "and those? Are you gonna try to exorcise Bill?"  
"Dipper I need you to listen carefully, Bi-" Ford stepped forward in an attempt to calm the boy.  
"Answer the question, is that what you were going to do?" he persisted, taking a step back with every one the man took forward.  
The other sighed, "yes. Pease listen-"  
"No," a seething rage bubbled up in the teen's stomach. "Stop it, stop trying to get rid of him."  
"He's tricking you, Dipper. He's messing with your mind," the man tried to convince, taking another step forward.  
"Shut up! He isn't doing anything; why do you keep saying that?!" he stepped backward, into the shelf. Without a wall to support it, the large object fell back with a loud bang, hitting against the wall and splintering into tiny fragments.  
"Because it's true!" Ford shouted despite the loud bang.  
Dipper didn't reply; he instead ran past the man and back upstairs.  
"Dipper!" Ford called, running after him.  
The brunet didn't answer, he kept running and running; out of the shack, into the forest, far away from his family. Ford eventually lost sight of him through the trees. As he ran, a cobalt flame engulfed his being and he instantly found himself back in the large clearing, standing beneath the huge tree.

"What was that all about, Pine Tree?" Bill appeared next to him, leaning on his cane.  
The boy just sat down in front of the tree, curling up into himself to protect himself from the cold wind of the night – he was still in his pyjamas. "What did you see down there?" the demon pressed.  
He spoke but the words were muffled as he buried his head deeper into the crook of his arm.  
"You know I can't understand you, right, kid?"  
He lifted his head slightly so that only his eyes could be seen but his speech was no longer blocked by the skin of his arms; "there was a bunch of notes and stuff… about an exorcism."  
The immortal sighed and crossed his arms, "of course. I knew he'd be planning that."  
"You did?" Lifting his head from his arms fully, he looked at the other.  
"Of course I did, I'm not stupid."  
"So what do we do? I don't want them to get rid of you so we have to do _something_ , right?"  
"Relax, Pine Tree. I'm not going anywhere, it'll take 'em a long time to get all of the stuff that they need and once I get a physical form, it won't work anyway."  
A shiver ran down the brunet's spine as a gust of wind blew past, raising goose-bumps along his arms. "I don't want to go back to the shack. Not yet," he admitted quietly.  
With a click of Bill's fingers, a sudden warmth washed over the boy and he was bathed in a teal light; turning his head slightly, he saw a large fire in front of him, warming him up easily. "Don't worry," the demon assured: "it won't damage the forest, so don't bother complaining."  
Dipper muttered his thanks and closed his eyes, curling up on the floor in front of the warm flame and sighing in content as soft blades of grass tickled the bare skin of his arms, legs and feet. Using his hands as a pillow, he fell asleep quickly in the clearing, his only company being his demonic friend; Bill.

* * *

 **Goblin on Wikipedia:** **wiki/Goblin  
Goblin Bad Annotations: art/Goblin-Bad-Annotations-602062538**

 **Whoever guesses what happens in the next chapter gets a free iPhone 8! You can guess if you want, but I won't give you anything for it xD. But I am looking forward to it; can you believe that only 14 days/2 weeks have passed in story time? Feels like it should've been a month at least. Who liked Sev'ral Timez appearance there? I was thinking either having them or clones 3 and 4 appearing and ended up picking them cause I really wanted to write them singing to scare off the goblins. #SorryNotSorry.**

 **Plan:  
**

* * *

 _ **Bill and Dipper are gonna leave the shack and into the forest. While in there, they find Pacifica in a clearing with her butlers looking for something; Sir Dipping sauce is like; "Pacific Ocean, what is you doing hear?"**_  
 _ **She's gon be like; "go away loser. We is looking for a speshal thingy-ma-jig that was stolen and we is finding it." Cause a gnome or something stole it?**_  
 _ **The two butlers that are with her are Donald Trump and Miley Cyrus, both of whom Pacifica describes as: "the worst butlers I has ever had. All they ever do is have twerking competitions." They turn around and see them doing just that…**_  
 _ **ANYWAYS; Dippy's like "kk, I gon halp u 2 find it. It was probs a goblin that took it anyways, lol." Cause this is gon be a Dipifica story now xx (is that what the ship is called?) so mr Triungle is gon be like: "bro…bro. U really gon help Llama girl?" but the boy is like "EYAH!" did it for the vine.**_  
 _ **So after a bunch of pointless description used only to make the chapter longer, they find the goblin and Paz is like: "u dumb-dumb, give me my whatever was stolen back or I is gon sue you!"**_  
 _ **The goblin does some crazy dance and it turns out it's a goblin king or some stupidly irrelevant detail as such – but basically, a bunch of other goblins pop up out of thin air and are like: "we is gon steal your internal organs now!" (something like that…)**_  
 _ **So yeah, Dippy, Paz, Donald and Miley all get chased through the forest when Donald and Miley both use their big butts as shields and twerk. They twerk so much that it makes an earthquake and all of the goblins die.**_  
 _ **-**_  
 _ **Let's pretend that never happened ;D. So yeah, they're getting chased through the forest when Suddenly another two Dippy's show up! Turns out that it's Sev'ral Times from the series and Dipper's like: "whoa, what the what?"**_  
 _ **So yeah, the band scare off the goblins (not after they steal the main Dipper's vest and shoes, of course.) and they talk. But Pazzy is like: "umh, where's my stolen thingy?" and one of the band peeps is like: "here, bro." and gives it to her. So yeah, a bunch of stuff that makes no sense and will never matter.**_  
 _ **In the end, Dipper and Bill go back to the shack and the entire scene from chapter 19 plays out. Dipper tells Mabel about it all while they play mini-golf.**_  
 _ **QUEUE CUT SCENE! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
In the middle of the night, Bill wakes up Diper and is like: "yo, dog. Go check out the basement while it's empty" (going to make up some excuse for why Ford and Bella aren't down there, so it's empty.) So yeah, Dipser goes down there and finds all of the weird exorcise-m stuff and is like: "damn Daniel, back at it again with the anomalies…" so yeah. Everything was going well down there when suddenly… A WILD FORD APPEARS! (Pokemon fans? I'm not one… but, meh.) Ford uses 'Try-to-convince'! It's not very effective. In the end, Dippy doesn't listen to Ford and runs off somewhere cause I said so.**_

 _ **End of chapter x**_

* * *

 **So yeah, look forward to the next chapter!**

 **Thanks for reading, please review if you didn't like this chapter just cause you can be a hipster! Yay!**


	21. Imp

**Because Stan deserves to be in here somewhere.**

* * *

Consciousness returned slowly but eyes didn't flick open straight away. Stretching the stiffness from each limb before turning around and cracking eyelids open slightly, the other person who usually occupied the area was missing. _'Dipper's probably already up,'_ Mabel told herself, although she found it slightly suspicious that her twin's bed was already made. Glancing at the clock kept next to Dipper's bed, it was nine o'clock – oddly early for her brother to be up already, let alone have his bed made. The girl got out of bed and fetched a set of clothes for the day: a yellow sweater with a small, blue elephant patch stitched onto it; she donned a blue skirt and brushed her hair before slipping on a matching teal headband. Slipping her feet into a pair of socks and shoes, she ran out the room and headed downstairs quickly, shouting out to her family: "do I smell stancakes?" She sniffed the air and noticed the lack of any sweet, sugary scents or even a greasy stench; what she did notice, however, were the hushed voices emanating from the kitchen that seemed to grow quieter as she descended the creaky wooden steps. Undeterred by the hushed echoes, she ambled into the kitchen quickly with a large smile.

"Hey, sweetie," Stan greeted as she entered, "you're up early."  
"Mm, what were you both talking about?" her eyes scanned the older twins curiously.  
"About the gift shop, adult stuff," Stan replied before Ford could give an answer.  
"Where's Dipper?"  
The two men exchanged worried glances before Ford spoke: "He's gone out with Bill again."  
"This early?"  
"Yeah. So, uh, your dentist thing is today, right?" Stan asked, scratching his back lazily.  
She grinned, "yeah, it is. It's soon actually… ten o'clock, I think?"  
"I'll take you to the dentist, then," Ford concluded and clapped his hands in a hurrying gesture; "be quick, it's not long until you have to go."  
"Ok," she sat down at the kitchen table and waited patiently, humming and swinging her legs idly. The room was engulfed in a comfortable silence as Ford sat down, too and took a swig of coffee while Stan stood over the cooker, making some pancakes. "It'll be weird without my braces," Mabel mused in an attempt to start a conversation.  
Ford only hummed his acknowledgment, taking another sip of his coffee while his brother replied: "how long have you had them in now?"  
"More than a year now."  
"Yeesh, must've had some pretty bad teeth, kid," he chuckled and she laughed, too.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Soon after the girl had finished her pancakes – which Ford had commented were rather sugary considering she had to visit the dentist soon – she cleaned her teeth and stood by the door, ready to leave. Ford slipped back into the house and was about to whisper some quiet words to his brother but was interrupted by the other man; "yeah, I know. I'll keep an eye out for the kid," Stan reassured.  
"I would look for him myself, but… I'm the last person Dipper would want to talk to right now," Ford frowned.  
"Don't worry, I'll find 'im."  
He looked like he was about to reply but a shout from the other room interrupted him: "Great Uncle Ford, come on!"  
The men nodded to one another in silent fare wells before he left to take Mabel to the dentist.

Stan sighed as the door closed behind them, massaging his temples with his thumb and index finger. "Just what have you gotten yourself into this time, kid?" he asked to no one in particular. Heading into his dark office, he opened the blinds in the room and an array of bright light lit up the dull room; he squinted at the sun that shone in his eyes, turning around and ignoring the bright splodges that lingered in his field of vision. He left the office ten minutes later clad in his usual suit, a dead-serious expression etched on his features and a baseball bat in hand. It was better to be prepared with some sort of defence than to go empty handed and in danger; he wasn't a stranger to all of the worrying monsters out in the forest, he knew that it could be dangerous. Silently making his way through the building, the man exited through the front door of the shack, making sure that the sign was flipped to 'closed' and the door was locked. Tapping the end of the wooden bat in one hand, Stan gave a brief sigh before setting determined eyes on the forest. It was time to search for Dipper.

Briskly entering the forest, Stan stepped over each and every root and rock easily – he ventured the forest quickly but thoroughly in search for the younger boy, checking each clearing and behind every tree big enough to hide behind. After a long hour of searching, the man stood in the middle of a small, empty clearing; he sat down in the middle of the space and rubbed a hand over his face tiredly. "Where could he have gone?" he muttered to himself.  
"Hey," a quiet voice breathed in his ear and he whipped back around instantly only to find no one there – the voice had sounded just like his grand nephew's.  
"Dipper?" he asked warily. "Kid, are you there?" he stood cautiously and scanned the area in front of him.  
"This way," another childish voice whispered in his ear from behind him again and he whirled around fast enough that he almost lost his balance.  
"Kid, where are you?" he asked and scanned the area once more. His eyes stopped over one tree when he saw a dark shadow moving through the trees quickly, away from him. "Kid!" he called after it and quickly ran after the shadow – it was Dipper; he was sure of it. It sounded just like the boy, and the short glimpse he'd caught of the other looked just like him.

Running through the thick crowd of trees, he desperately tried to keep up with the smaller boy but could only watch as the young teen ran faster, putting more distance between them and losing him in the forest. "Dipper!" he called after the other again, "stop running!" he panted and was forced to slow as exhaustion got the better of him. As he slowed down, he noticed the brunet stop, too, feet skidding to an instant stop; but he didn't turn to face Stan yet. "Kid," the man panted and leaned on a nearby tree for support, "what- why are you running?"  
The boy slowly turned to face him to reveal an uncharacteristically large grin stretched across his face and typically warm, chocolatey eyes were instead a dark, murky black. Dipper's familiar voice whispered in his ear again and he tensed; "this is fun," it spoke nonchalantly.  
"Dipper…?" Stan asked warily, fighting the urge to turn around.  
The other only released an odd, high-pitched giggle before spinning around and darting behind a tree again.  
"Kid, stop running!" Stan shouted after him but followed swiftly.  
"Only if you catch me," the voice whispered in his ear again; he had a sneaking suspicion that his nephew was being manipulated, or perhaps that it wasn't the boy at all but something that had taken his form. In either case, it meant that something bad must have happened to Dipper.

This time, as Stan chased Dipper through the forest, no distance was added between them – the boy didn't bother to run fast enough the lose the man, as if thinking of it as a game. So close yet still too far away, the brunet occasionally glanced back at the man with a grin still etched on his features and a playful gleam in his eye; another laugh soon bubbled up from the thirteen-year-old's chest as he brushed his palm against a tree that he passed. The already rotting bark of the tree seemed to quickly rot more and faster and the tall figure of the plant collapsed at the weakened state of the wood: it collapsed immediately and fell in the pursuing man's path. However, he dropped the bat he'd been carrying and easily lifted himself up on his hands and swung himself over the obstacle, jumping clean over it to continue running without losing any speed. "Dipper!" he panted again. "Is-" he swallowed, "is this that demon controlling you?!"  
A louder laugh rang through the air at the question as if he'd said something funny. Dipper's hands lit in dangerously red flames before he brushed each palm over another two trees either side of him, still running as he did. Between the opposite trees, a line of fire quickly arose and blocked Stan's path. Instead of stopping or recklessly jumping through the scorching flames, he diverted to the right and quickly moved around the tree to continue on his way, pushing himself faster and harder than before in an effort to catch up to his nephew.  
The brunet seemed to notice the closing distance between them and the grin dropped instantly as he pushed himself faster to gain the lost distance back again.  
"Stop! Give the kid his body back!" Stan shouted, now certain that Bill was controlling the boy after the show of fire. The endeavour to catch up quickly became a lot harder as they reached a hill; but he followed the boy up the steep slope, still. He was determined to catch the brunet if it was the last thing he did. They soon reached the top of the grassy hill after a few long minutes, a couple more metres having been put between the man and the boy. The brunet stopped at the top of the hill while Stan continued to run toward him – he turned to face his Grunkle with a newfound playful smirk upon his face and only then did the older man notice the cold steam rising from his nephew's hands, which were laced with a freezing ice. Just as he was within arms-length of the other, Dipper knelt down quickly and planted freezing hands on the floor, fingers digging past the lush grass and into the mud. The next step Stan took was his literal downfall; the ground beneath his feet had been encased in a slippery layer of ice and as his foot hit the surface of it, it slipped forward and he tumbled backward to land on his back, knocking the air from his lungs harshly. He scrambled to get his feet beneath him again but could only watch as he slipped away, back down the hill, his eyes fixed on his grand-nephew who stood atop the tall hill with a grin planted firmly on his face.  
Dipper's voice whispered in his ear again as he reached the bottom of the hill, scrambling desperately to his feet: "you weren't planning to hurt your own grand-son were you?"

That was when it clicked in Stan's mind. This wasn't Dipper _or_ Bill – no, it was just another monster imitating his nephew, making wrong assumptions on who the boy was to him. The man wasn't sure if he should be relieved or not. He simply glared at the creature before turning around with a dismissive wave of his hand. "Is that it, gramps?" the voice laughed in his ear again. "Giving up already?" He ignored the voice and started walking away, only to be interrupted by the voice again; however, this time it rang loudly from the imitator's mouth rather than the air next to him: "Oi, don't ignore me!" it shouted angrily, still in Dipper's voice. The creature ran down the hill quickly, grin replaced with an irritated scowl; as it reached the bottom of the hill and approached the other, it jumped onto his back, wrapping small arms around his neck and legs around his waist. Tugging on the elder's hair harshly, it complained: "I'm lonely and bored so don't ignore me."  
Stan yelled at the being angrily, "hey, get off!" he reached back in an attempt to grab a hold of the being but found that he couldn't reach at such an awkward angle. "Go bug someone else, y' freak!"  
"Imp, actually," it scoffed.  
"I don't care," he yelled and finally managed to throw it off of his back. "Get lost."  
It glared at him as it landed, rubbing at its elbow. "You were the one chasing me," it argued.  
"Because you look like my grand-nephew!"  
A smile spread across the imp's face at that statement. "Your grand-nephew? What say you that I help you find him?" he stood – still in the form of Dipper's body – and looked at the other.  
"I said get lost," Stan pushed past the imp and stormed off into the forest. The imp was quick to follow.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

A content sigh was released but chocolatey eyes didn't flutter open just yet; rolling onto his side, he inhaled a crisp smell deeply through his nose and breathed out through his mouth while allowing a smile to tug at the corners of his lips. Something soft tickled the expanse of his skin softly and a welcoming warmth wrapped around his body; wind gently caressed and played with his messy, chestnut curls of hair and quietly rustled the blades of grass below him. Eyelids finally sliding apart, Dipper rolled over again to lay on his back and admire the blue sky above, blocked only by the few emerald leaves that swayed slightly in the wind.  
"Hey there, Pine Tree," a familiar voice filled the air and the boy let his head fall idly to the side so he could look at the other.  
"Morning," he replied.  
"I think you mean 'afternoon,'" Bill corrected.  
"Did I sleep for that long?" the teen sat up and stretched his arms above his head, back arching and toes curling pleasantly as he got rid of the stiffness in each limb.  
"Yup; you have a nice dream?"  
Shrugging, he leaned back against the thick tree trunk behind him before answering, "I don't know, I already forget it."  
Bill rolled his single eye in boredom, "you meat-sacks and your terrible memory. We should really fix that sometime."  
"Mm… I should probably head back to the shack soon," he frowned at the thought.  
"What's the rush, kid? Why not hang out here for a while longer?"  
"I don't know, everyone's probably worried about me…"  
"Let them worry, what have they ever done for you?"

Eyebrows furrowing at the statement, the boy quickly defended his family: "they do loads of stuff for me. I don't want them to worry because I'm back so late," he tried to stand but was pushed back down by a sudden burst of magic from the demon.  
"Like what?" the immortal asked. "They just keep trying to mess things up for you, kid. Do you really want them holding you back from doing everything you want to do? Think about it, all of the times that family of yours has betrayed you – they don't even trust you."  
"They do… they trust me," he defended.  
The immortal rolled his eye again with a scoff; "looks like you don't know what trust means, Pine Tree. Your entire family was working to get rid of me behind your back even though you told them plenty of times not to," he gritted the words out with clear restraint. "I don't know about you, but that doesn't sound like trust."  
"They just don't understand. They… they think they're helping," his eyes darted around the space, avoiding eye contact with his demonic companion.  
"Don't be so sure. That's not the only time; Fordsy wouldn't trust you near any of his things-"  
"He's like that with everyone," Dipper argued.  
"Fez spent nearly an entire summer lying to you about who he is," Bill carried on as if the boy hadn't said a word.  
"That was to get Great Uncle Ford back, everything is fine now," he countered again urgently.  
"Even your own sister trusted him – a complete stranger – over you, ignoring what you said and putting everyone's lives at risk."  
"She… I…" the boy stuttered, desperately searching his brain for some kind of excuse or defence for his twin.  
"Face it, kid. Your family doesn't trust you."  
The boy didn't reply, he only pulled his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them silently, looking down at his lap. The demon's words echoed through his mind. Was he right? Did his family really not trust him?  
"Your family doesn't trust you at all, can you really trust _them,_ either?"  
Eyes flicking up to look at the immortal, he didn't know what to say.  
"Trust me," Bill coaxed.  
"I…" looking into the singular, large orb, he said the only thing he could think of: "I do trust you."

The statement hung in the air for a moment where neither being spoke, until Bill finally did. "Pine Tree," he said; "I need you to do something for me." The boy didn't reply so he took it as a sign to continue; "a physical form – I need one now."

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Stan moved through the trees cautiously, trying his best to ignore the comments from the imp that had followed him: "so yeah, us imps can control temperature and stuff. That's how I used the fire and ice and stuff earlier when you were chasing me," it explained – it was _still_ in the form of Dipper's body.  
"I don't care," Stan ground out irritably.  
The imp stopped in his steps then and for a moment the man thought that his words had finally gotten through to the creature. It seemed to be listening for something intently and paled only a moment later, "wait," he instructed.  
"Nope," the other grumbled and continued walking.  
"There's a demon that way, you don't want to go there."  
He stopped at that and turned to face the creature, raising an eyebrow. "A demon?"  
"Yeah. They're bad news, you shouldn't go that way."  
"Well then that means I'm headed in the right direction," Stan concluded and turned to walk again.  
"You're _looking_ for a demon? Do you have a death wish?" the imp quickly moved to walk alongside him as he questioned the other.  
"I'm looking for my nephew. He's with that demon."  
The imp stopped again but Stan kept walking. After a moment of walking in silence, he turned around to search for the being only to find the area void of animals. "Must've gotten scared. What a wimp," he grumbled to himself. Suddenly, he perked up as faint voices reached his ears.

"I… I do trust you," it said – it sounded like Dipper.  
"Cut it out," he demanded to the imp that had accompanied him.  
"Alright," the voice came again and he briefly thought it was a reply to what he'd said before it carried on: "how do I do it?"

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Dipper accepted Bill's request immediately. "How do I do it?" he asked.  
"There's more than one way to do it, actually. I'll let you pick how you do…" Bill explained. "The first is pretty fun, actually. You have to gather a whole bunch of organs and flesh and limbs from different places and bring them to a certain place; you can take them from dead or alive people, it doesn't really matter-"  
"What's the other way?" Dipper interrupted him, already deciding that he didn't like that plan.  
The demon laughed openly, "The more efficient way!" he proclaimed happily. "It'll mean I won't need to constantly fulfil your pointless human necessities all of the time, no food or bathing and no need to deposit my excrement everywhere I go," he pointed out happily. "Your soul."  
"My soul?"  
"Yup," he popped the 'p'. "You give me your soul and I can mould it into a physical form. What do y' say, kid?"

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Stan ignored the imitations and moved further through the forest, but with each sentence he heard he became more and more convinced that it wasn't a trick being played by the imp.  
"My soul?" Dipper's voice asked. He paused for a moment before speaking again, "would it… hurt?"  
Was he only hearing half of a conversation?

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Bill paused and his eye flicked to look at the forest around them before he gave a mouthless smirk. "Well, looks like Fez decided to join the party," he muttered to himself.  
"What?" Dipper asked, clearly having misheard the statement.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Stan paused in his steps as another voice joined Dipper's.  
"Nah, you won't feel a thing, Pine Tree. You won't even notice it missing," the second voice spoke. Stan hurried to move faster through the trees, now convinced that it really was Dipper and he was with Bill.  
"It won't change anything else will it?" Dipper asked unsurely. Stan broke into a jog at the question; what were they talking about?  
"Nope."  
"So… just my soul? And then you get a physical form?" Stan started sprinting then, desperate to reach the duo before anything bad could happen.  
"That's right," Bill confirmed.

Stan finally saw the edge of the treeline, finally reached the clearing – as he burst out across the border, he spotted Dipper with his hand outstretched to the triangular, yellow demon. "Deal," Dipper agreed. Bill reached out a hand to shake when Stan shouted:  
"Stop!"  
His nephew's head whipped around to face him instantly, a look of pure shock etched on his features. "Grunkle Stan?" he questioned. Bill, however, ignored him. Small palm lighting up in a cerulean flame, the demon moved his hand forward and took the boy's in it; "Deal," he said.

Dipper collapsed instantly, body falling limply to the side and eyes fluttering closed. "Dipper," Stan called worriedly and tried to run forward to help the brunet, only to be forcefully shoved back by an invisible force and knocked harshly into a tree. Head hitting the solid wood of the trunk behind him, his vision swam and a dizziness overwhelmed him; he dropped to his knees, placing his hands on the floor to steady himself and trying to focus on the fingers only to find that instead of two hands, he saw four. Glancing up and ignoring the pounding in his head, he watched as a golden tornado spun and centred around a single point, strands so thick that he couldn't see what was in the middle. The gold was the last thing he saw before he blacked out.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Light. Not the sort of light a bulb or the sun might emit, but the sort of light that made him feel empty – that was how he felt. Empty. Empty and light. It was different from usual – not to say that he focused on the feeling often… It was such a distinct feeling that was so clear and unusual yet could only be described in those two words: empty, light. He hadn't experienced the feeling before, he knew that much – he was used to the heavy weight of his body and the various organs that filled it, but then it had been ripped away in a quick move. But it didn't hurt. And he was at least seventy-two percent sure that he still had all of his organs…

"Pine Tree~"

A voice filled his head and he had to wonder who it belonged to; was it his own? No. He didn't imagine himself sounding so… _odd._

"Pine Tree, wake up."

There it was again. Was he… a tree? That didn't make sense, he knew he wasn't a tree. But then again, how could he be so sure? Who else could he be? Suddenly, he felt like he was falling; despite the infinite blackness surrounding him, he felt a pull on his being that forced him away and he hated it; he yelled at the feeling, desperate for it to stop.

"Pine Tree."

His eyes snapped open and he shot up with a loud shout.  
"Finally, you're awake. I was starting to think you'd died for a minute there, kid," a voice laughed.  
The boy found himself leaning against the thick trunk of a tree and pushed himself up uncomfortably. "Pine Tree?" he asked and looked down at his hands. "I'm not a tree," his brows furrowed in confusion.  
"Oh wow, that really messed you up, didn't it?" the voice laughed again. "Don't worry, it's only temporary."  
He finally looked up at the figure that crouched before him. "Bill?" he asked.  
"The one and only," the man replied. "Now with a physical form," he smirked.

* * *

 **Imp on Wikipedia:** **wiki/Imp  
Imp BA: (No point in doing this.)**

 **BAM! Who expected this? (Probably a few of you. Congrats if you did.) Next chapter, you'll get to read Bill's physical form's description. Sorry for any mistakes by the way, it's 2:30 AM right now for me and I'm really tired. I think I'm starting to see things from lack of sleep (I keep thinking I see things out of the corner of my eye but when I look nothing is there... Either lack of sleep or my house is haunted.)  
And I am SO sorry this took so long for me to update, I have no good excuse. Honestly, I bought a pair of white canvas shoes and was busy painting them to look like Gravity Falls shoes, so I wasn't writing. Sorry, but now they're done and they look so awesome! I have one shoe for Dipper and one shoe for Mabel and on the tongue thingy inside I have a little Bill hiding xD I wish I could show you all. **

**No plan, sorry. Anyways, I is going to sleep in ma bedz xx  
**

 **Thanks for reading, please review if you're happy that Bill _finally_ got his physical form! (21 chapters in...)  
Feel free to request any creatures or whatever.**


	22. Basilisk

**Fun fact that you won't remember or even need to: The nictitating eyelid is (according to Google...) the third eyelid that closes sideways over the eye.  
Not sure if this would bump up the rating of this story or not just because of this chapter. Oh well!  
Sorry in advance for any and all mistakes (and the brief gore.)**

* * *

"Pine Tree."

Dipper's eyes snapped open and he shot up with a loud shout.  
"Finally, you're awake. I was starting to think you'd died for a minute there, kid," a voice laughed.  
The boy found himself leaning against the thick trunk of a tree and pushed himself up uncomfortably. "Pine Tree?" he asked and looked down at his hands. "I'm not a tree," his brows furrowed in confusion.  
"Oh wow, that really messed you up, didn't it?" the voice laughed again. "Don't worry, it's only temporary."  
He finally looked up at the figure that crouched before him. "Bill?" he asked.  
"The one and only," the man replied. "Now with a physical form," he smirked.

The brunet took in the demon's new form – it looked much different from the hunter form he'd taken days before and far less elaborate. Blond locks of hair were still the same, framing tan skin and never-changing golden orbs while his height had unsurprisingly also stayed the same. Floating a couple of inches above the figure's head was an ebony top hat; he donned a yellow button-up shirt that had not a single crease or stain and on top of it was a tidy, black blazer. Clad in a pair of slacks and shoes, a plain, obsidian bow-tie was tied around his neck beneath the bright yellow collar of his shirt. Leaning on his haunches, he reached a bare hand up and flicked Dipper's forehead playfully – the teen was still only in his pyjamas; "like what you see, Pine Tree?"

The boy noticed he'd been staring and quickly diverted his eyes, mumbling an apology. Bill stood straight and ruffled the top of the brunet's hair roughly, causing the human to wince despite the harmless intentions. Reaching out a hand, the demon coaxed the boy to take it: "get up, kid. I want to try out this great new body you got for me."  
Dipper took his hand and was easily pulled to his feet, stumbling forward and into the immortal by accident. Stepping back, he hesitantly clarified with a frown; "kids are baby goats. I don't think I'm a baby goat, either."  
Bill laughed and wrapped an arm around the boy's shoulders, pulling him close to his side. "Whatever you say, Pine Tree. So what did I tell you? You can barely feel the difference, right?"  
"I feel lighter," he explained switching his weight from one foot to the other testingly. "If that makes sense."  
"You'll get used to it," the other dismissed. "Now-"  
"What about Grunkle Stan?" the thirteen-year-old interrupted, trying to turn his head to awkwardly look over his shoulder at said man but finding it difficult with the firm grasp the demon had around his shoulders.  
"What about him?" the arm tensed briefly. "Do you actually still care about him? About the rest of your traitorous family?"  
Dipper only shrugged and found that he didn't feel as conflicted as he usually did at such a question and not nearly as much as he thought he should be.  
"Let's just go find something to mess with, kid. You have no idea how _ **l͠ǫn̛g**_ I've waited for this moment. Let's go," he instructed firmly, grip tightening on the boy.  
"I… I think I'd feel kind of bad if we left him here. He's still my Great Uncle, after all…"  
"Trust me, you wouldn't feel bad; you wouldn't feel a thing."  
"How do you know?" he looked up into the being's eyes.  
"You don't have a soul _to_ care. Petty attachment is a thing of the past for you, now."  
"So I won't feel anything…? And what about you? You made that body from my soul, right? So what do _you_ feel?"  
"The soul is what gives you meat-sacks the ability to feel emotion. You'll still feel some emotion but not nearly as much."  
"So does that mean you feel more emotions?"  
"Definitely not, why would I want to deal with that mess? Now, my little meat-puppet," a malicious grin lit up his face and he used his free arm to gesture to the forest. "Let's go find something fun to _burn._ "

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

His head pounded harshly and blocked out all other sound to him. Every limb ached and he just wanted to stay there – but he knew he couldn't. "…my little meat-puppet," words started to trickle through to his brain. "Let's find something fun to _burn_." He recognised the voice as Bill Cipher's easily.

"Dipper," a pained voice spoke, it was his own. He pushed himself onto his hands and knees slowly.  
A low growl resounded through the air that he almost missed. "Grunkle Stan?" another voice asked.  
Stan opened his eyes and was greeted by the green grass below his sore hands; he lifted his head, clutching it in one hand, and looked at Dipper and Bill, taking in the new appearance of the demon quickly. "What did you do?"  
"Bill has a physical form, now," Dipper explained unhelpfully.  
"I can see that," Stan spat and stumbled to his feet. "You idiot, why did you give him your soul?" Despite the anger that dripped from each syllable, the frustration was overwhelmed only by worry for his nephew. He straightened up slowly and leaned a hand on the tree behind him to steady himself.  
"So that he can make his physical form…?" the teen rubbed at the back of his head sheepishly. "I thought it was pretty obvious, but…" he muttered, trailing off.  
The man hadn't expected such an uncharacteristic response from his nephew and was about to call him out on it when a loud rumbling shook the ground beneath their feet. Stan was forced to lean more against the tree to stay standing while Dipper stumbled back into Bill who was standing calmly before wrapping an arm around the brunet's shoulders once more to steady the human. The teen shot an appreciative look up at the demon and asked: "what's going on?"  
The blond glanced around briefly before grinning, "we finally get to burn some stuff."  
"What's that supposed to mean?" Stan snapped angrily, glaring at the other.  
"Hold onto your fez, Fez," Bill laughed. "Things are about to get interesting."

Before either human could reply, the loud sound of snapping wood echoed through the clearing; the trio could hear heavy movement, something slithering across the forest floor and crushing all life below it. A flock of birds flew from the large tree in the middle of the clearing as the loud snapping got closer and closer, growing louder and louder until Dipper couldn't hear himself think, let alone the words of warning from Bill that filled his head: 'don't look into its eyes.'  
"What's coming?" he shouted over the loud snapping.  
"You'll see," the blond shouted back, eyes fixed on a specific part of the forest. The two humans followed his gaze to where the deafening noises were coming from to witness the top branches that poked through the canopy falling down. A group of trees on the edge of the clearing snapped under the weight of a black figure that slivered over them, the bark sizzling and melting away on contact. From the newly made path, a long, black figure slivered out – ebony scales and crimson eyes, from its fangs dripped an acidic liquid that sizzled when each drop hit the floor, the grass greying and dying instantly.  
"A giant snake?" Stan asked incredulously.  
"Basilisk," Bill corrected.  
"What is it doing here?" Dipper asked, ready to run if he needed to.  
The demon laughed, "you think I care, Pine Tree? It's here and it's something to _burn,_ " his hands lit in a dangerous cobalt flame. The large serpent slivered around the clearing, creating an inescapable barrier with its venomous, scaly body.  
"How do we get out?" the now soulless boy asked, scanning the area in search of an escape route. The air was knocked from his lungs when he was harshly shoved to side, landing on his back – above him was Bill, body protectively hovering above him and hands placed on his shoulders as he looked behind him at the space they'd been in. What now filled the space was the large head of the serpent, fangs dripping venom and eyes focused on them; the demon placed his hand over the boy's eyes and repeated his earlier instruction: "don't look into its eyes, kid."

Before either of them knew what was happening, the brunet was snatched away from beneath the immortal. "Stay away from the kid," Stan spat as he pushed Dipper behind him to fall against a tree.  
Bill snarled at the action and stood quickly; he was about to give an angry retort when a loud hissing drew his attention away from the two humans. He spun in place to find himself dangerously close to the basilisk, so close that he could _taste_ its acidic breath – red eyes focused on his, nictitating eyelid blinking over the round eye briefly. The creature didn't move for a moment and the demon smirked as he realised that it had meant to harm him with its gaze; he chuckled lowly and muttered: "did you expect that to kill me?"

The serpent moved its head back quickly and Bill moved an arm up instantly to protect himself from its next move: it snapped its large head forward, venomous teeth sinking into the limb through cloth, flesh and bone until the bloody tip of the tooth could just be seen poking through the bottom of his arm.  
"Bill!" came a worried call from behind him, from his Pine Tree.  
The demon only let another dark chuckle escape his lips at the sensation and sound of teeth scraping against bone in his new limb. A purplish-red ichor poured from the wounds, coating the basilisk's sharp teeth in the acrid liquid – it sizzled slowly, burning through the ivories and forcing the monster to pull away sharply. A thin, red tongue slipped through its cavernous mouth to lap at the blood, only for it to burn the heavy muscle on contact and have it recoil: before it could slip back into the depths of its mouth, Bill reached in his bloodied arm and snatched the wet muscle before pulling on it violently. The creature flinched at the harsh pull he gave, digging claws into the muscle and jerking his arm back, ripping the tongue from its place in one swift motion. It hissed and recoiled quickly in pain, red blood splattering from the severed area and onto his previously tidy clothes. Taking advantage of the distraction, the immortal dropped the useless, wet fat; he brought back his undamaged arm and lit his palm in a scorching beryl fire before snapping it forward again in one quick movement. His fingers arched to form a cage as he dug them into the large socket that was the basilisk's eyes, fingers tightening around the wet, squishy and now bloodied organ that had been the reptile's eye. Jerking its head back in pain, it only served to help the demon in his goal as he held tight while the orb was pulled from its socket, optic nerve snapping with a grotesquely satisfying squelch. The monster retaliated quickly, snapping its fangs at Bill blindly in an attempt to fight back, only for him to move out of the way easily each time. He pulled his top hat from its place above his head and reached his bloodied arm in – it went impossibly far and he stuck a tongue out in thought as he searched through it while still dodging each attack the basilisk made. "Let's see here..." he muttered, fingers brushing over various objects before latching onto the thing he was searching for. Pulling his arm from the hat, in his hand was his black cane; he placed the hat above his head again and made a show of tossing the cane in the air briefly before snatching it from the air in the other hand. In one swift movement, as the reptile's mouth opened to snap at him again, he drove the sharpened end of the staff upwards – the pointed stake of the end pierced the rough roof of its mouth, the solid bone of its skull, the squishy tissue of its brain and the almost impenetrable scales that protected its soft flesh. Ruby-red blood leaked down the staff and stained his bare hands as the reptile's still open mouth twitched reflexively, but Bill could easily see that the monster was dead. Yanking the staff back from where it was embedded, he whipped it away from him once to flick off the pooling red liquid onto the scales of the dead basilisk; its head fell limply to the floor, its single eye staring at the demon while an endless, red river ran from the other empty socket. Weaving delicate strands of magic around his arm, the large puncture holes were quickly healed and his own blood was cleaned from the limb, but the reptile's blood still stained his clothes, his flesh, his hair. Bill sighed, a content smile finding its way on his face while he turned around – he was expecting to be greeted by two stunned humans, but the space was empty. The smile was instantly replaced by a frown.

The demon walked at a brisk pace, moving past the trees that he'd last seen them by and into the forest to look for the two humans. He only had to walk for half of a minute before his ears picked up two familiar voices;  
"Grunkle Stan, stop," one demanded – Pine Tree.  
"No, we're going back to the shack so we can fix you," the other retorted angrily.  
The demon quickly swerved around a tree to follow the direction of their voices. With his cane in one hand, he lifted the other palm to cup half of his mouth and called: "Pine Tree!"  
There was only a second of a pause before he heard the boy call back: "Bill!" He continued to follow the direction on the voices.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Dipper tried to pull his arm away from his Great Uncle but couldn't; how could he expect to even loosen the man's grip with his _noodle arms_? The older man had forced him to leave while Bill had been busy stabbing a cane through the basilisk's head, taking advantage of the gruesome distraction. "Stop dragging me, that hurts," the thirteen-year-old protested, tugging at his arm in an attempt to loosen the tight grip.  
"Maybe if you wasn't stupid enough to sell your soul to a demon, I wouldn't have to," Stan snapped.  
The boy didn't think about his retort even after the words had left his lips; "at least I'm not stupid enough to fake my own death – you know, most people would've thought it through and considered the consequences," he laughed sarcastically. "How did that turn out? How did you just magically come back from the dead as the same old Stanley Pines and have no one question your miraculous reappearance? Seems like this entire town is just as stupid as you and me if they believed that." In the back of his own mind, Dipper knew how unlike himself that was and under normal circumstances he'd never have even thought such a thing – he didn't know where the sudden outburst had come from. He found that he didn't care. The man's grip on his arm tightened drastically and he released a hiss of air through his teeth in slight pain. "Grunkle Stan, stop," he demanded.  
"No, we're going back to the shack so we can fix you," Stan spat back angrily.  
A new voice suddenly broke through the tense atmosphere: "Pine Tree!"  
The boy tried to pull away again to head in the direction of the voice, only for Stan to yank him back again harshly. "Bill!" he called back.

The demon could soon be seen heading toward them quickly through the trees. Stan seemed taken back by the amount of blood that coated the demon's form and Dipper felt his grip loosen only a small amount; but he took advantage of it and tore his arm from his Great Uncle's grip quickly. Ignoring the calls from the man and the hands reaching to grab him, he ran to the demon in three large steps, taking no notice of the crimson liquid that stained his clothes in favour of wrapping his arms around the immortal's waist and burying his head in his stomach.  
The demon only chuckled, running bloodied fingers through the boy's hair gently, "hey, Pine Tree." His eyes flicked up to land on the older human who looked to be using all of his self-control just to keep from punching the blond. "What's going on here?" he raised an eyebrow in false innocence.  
"We were going back to the shack," Stan gritted out, eyes flicking to his nephew.  
"Oh~ how fun, I think I'll accompany you both. I'm sure Sixer and Shooting star would just _love_ to see my new body." The demon's body lit up in a cerulean flame that engulfed both him and the brunet that clung to him. Tossing his cane into the air, he caught it again by the – now blunt and harmless – end of it; he reached out the curved end and snagged it around Stan's neck, yanking the human closer to him. The cane disappeared once the man had stumbled closer and Bill grabbed the back of the man's collar roughly, almost choking him before he, too, was engulfed in the beryl flame. "Next stop: living hell!" he announced gleefully and the trio disappeared in an instant.

The trees surrounding them melted away and the familiar building that was the Mystery Shack transitioned into view. Stan stumbled backwards as the ground beneath them changed, pushing away the overwhelming dizziness and the tiredness that clung to his eyelids. Bill spoke, then: "thank you for travelling with Bill Cipher, if you suffer from loss of sight, limbs or your life after this trip, you have only yourself to blame," he laughed loudly and received a glare from Stan. Patting Dipper's head, he tugged at the boy's hair gently as he addressed him: "come on, Pine Tree. As much as I _hate_ hugs, I put up with it this long so get off," he flicked the boy's ear and the brunet flinched before pulling away – his face was stained with flaky, dried blood along with the front of his shirt and the undersides of his arms that had been wrapped around the demon; even his hair was tinged red from having Bill's bloody fingers ran through it.  
The boy yawned. "Sorry," he replied, either not noticing the crimson substance or not caring, "just a bit tired."  
"Just a side effect of having lost your soul; don't worry about it. You'll be back to your normal self in no time," he waved a hand dismissively, smiling at the sight of his human in such a state. Another figure soon stepped between the two; Stan pushed at the blond's shoulders warningly to put distance between them.  
"Back off," the man instructed.  
Bill only smiled and flicked at his fez tauntingly, "I don't think you're in any kind of position to be making orders."  
"I said," Stan pushed at the demon again, "back off."

The blond was about to retort before being interrupted by a new voice: "Grunkle Stan, Dipper!"  
They looked to the direction the voice had come from to see a girl waving to them frantically from the doorway of the shack, a large grin on her face. Behind her was an older man who resembled Stan in every way, a disapproving look plastered on his face.  
"Hey, Mabes," Dipper turned around and greeted, waving back with a smile.  
The smile fell from her face and she gasped, "Dipper! What happened?" She quickly made her way out, over to him, ignoring the demon that stood by them in favour of fussing over her twin.  
"Look," he yawned then pointed to the immortal, "Bill finally got a physical form."  
Her eyes flickered to the demon worriedly and he lifted his top hat to her politely. "How goes it, Shooting Star?" he asked nonchalantly.  
"When did that happen?" the girl asked, "and how?"  
"Some time this morning," her brother informed.  
Then a new voice joined the conversation: "how?" Ford approached the group.  
The boy hesitated. Would they be mad? Stan had clearly gotten angry – if not furious – about what he'd done, so how would Ford and Mabel react? He could deal with the anger of the two old twins, but Mabel? No. Even without a soul and after feeling so betrayed by his family, his heart ached at the thought of his twin holding any kind of ill-feelings toward him.

Bill picked that moment to jump into the conversation, hopping up behind the teenage boy and leaning over to rest his elbow atop his head, face in palm. "Hey, Sixer!" he said happily. "Miss me? Admit it, you missed me~" the fingers of one hand curled a lock of chocolate hair between his digits idly.  
"What did you do?" Ford snapped.  
"I got to kill a giant snake," the demon replied enthusiastically, "and what about you? What have you been doing for the last hundred years that I was gone?" He let out a short bark of laughter, "I'm kidding – I know exactly what you've been doing, I see _**everything**_ ," his eyes flashed a through a hue of different colours for a brief moment.  
"Tell me what you did," Ford persisted impatiently.  
It was neither Dipper or Bill that answered the question. "He sold his soul."

The group looked at Stan who wore a stoic mask that hid whatever emotion he was feeling.  
Suddenly, Dipper was shoved to the side harshly and gasped as he landed on his behind to stare up at the scene before him: Ford had stepped forward and punched Bill in the side of his jaw, now grasping the demon by his collar tightly with a glare that could kill. "You did what?" he growled angrily.  
A grin split the demon's face in two as he looked into the man's eyes, unfazed by the sudden turn of events. "Pine Tree lent me his soul," he explained and lifted his hands in feigned surrender as he chuckled. "How else do you think I got this body? You really think he'd want to cut up a bunch of people? As fun as that would have been to see, I much prefer this," his hands lit in a cobalt flame and he looked to be concentrating on something else in his mind. "Now, let me go before those six fingers of yours turn into only five."  
"Great Uncle Ford, stop," someone else interrupted – Mabel. She was crouched next to her twin, rubbing his back soothingly and holding him close. Leaning back on one hand, the other was clutching at his chest as he breathed heavily; "I..." he panted in a desperate search for air, "it hurts," he ground out.  
Ford looked back at the demon in his grasp. Bill looked into his eyes as he spoke; "what can I say? Give your soul to a demon and your going to be bonded," he shrugged and a smile ghosted his lips. "Physically and mentally," he tapped at his own head and the boy on the floor clutched at his own, whimpering quietly at the pain.  
Ford's grip tightened momentarily, knuckles whitening from the tenseness before he threw the demon back harshly. The demon only smiled, "good choice, Sixer." Turning to Dipper, he addressed the boy who had calmed down immediately, pain gone; "now, Pine Tree – why don't we get you tucked into bed? I'm sure you're tired after such a long day," he suggested lightly. Without the boy's consent, he wrapped a hand around the human's arm and the duo were quickly engulfed in the demon's blue flames and disappeared quickly.  
The remaining trio only stayed in their places for a tense minute of silence. "We need that exorcism ASAP," Mabel muttered.

Dipper was thrown onto his bed too suddenly and yelped when the solid ground was torn from beneath him. "What was that about?" he snapped at Bill.  
The demon rolled his eyes. "Your family was getting on my nerves. Now why don't you go to sleep, you look exhausted."  
The boy sighed and massaged the bridge of his nose for a second. "No," he said, "I'll be fine. I was hoping to get something down in the journal about that basilisk thing." Scooting along his mattress, he reached onto his bedside table to pick up his book only to have it snatched from his grasp when he did. "Hey," he frowned at the demon; "give that back," he reached out only to have the journal moved away from his grasp.  
"I told you to sleep, Pine Tree. You can do this when you wake up."  
"I'm not even that tired, I want to do it now," he reached up for the journal again only for it to be moved back once more.  
Bill quickly wrapped a hand around the boy's wrist tightly, "I told you to sleep."  
The boy winced at the abrupt tightness of the demon's grasp, "ow, Bill-"  
The blond slammed the journal back on the boy's desk and used his now free hand to grasp at the boy's chin roughly, forcing the teen's head up to meet his eyes. "You're not going to defy me are you, my little meat sack?" he snarled, fingers digging into his jaw. Focusing his magic into a certain point of his own head, he watched as the human on the bed flinched, his free hand shooting up to clutch at his pounding head in hopes of making the pain stop.  
The boy gulped and shook his head, muttering an almost inaudible apology as he squeezed his eyes shut from the pounding pain in his head.  
The scowl on the immortal's face was quickly replaced with a smile, "good Pine Tree. Now go to sleep."

Dipper's dulled brown eyes sparked a bright blue briefly before his eyelids fell shut, body falling limp against Bill. The blond chuckled, his grip loosening as he gently moved his Pine Tree's body into a more comfortable position to sleep. "Sweet dreams~" he sang quietly.

* * *

 **Basilisk on wikipedia: wiki/Basilisk  
Basilisk BA: (Nope, just Google Image it or something. Or think of the one from Harry Potter?)  
Human Bill if you're interested: ****art/Deal-Bill-Cipher-600626318  
(It was originally just fan art, not for this story; sorry it's not the full outfit.)**

 **Mr Basilisk was requested and I had some fun doing that - I apologise for that bit. I don't know where that came from, I just had this sudden urge to write a gory scene and ended up with this (God, you have no idea how badly I wanted to write a torture scene but that would definitely take this to an M rating.) I blame TV and my PlayStation for my blood lust.  
**

 **Brief plan that I wrote:  
**

* * *

 _ **Hello there, dearest reader! How are you today? What's that? You're wondering why I'm so evil? Well, that chapter you just read wasn't even planned while I was writing this sentence, so I have no idea how evil I am yet! (I want to get some blood and gore in there. Desperately. Sorry if I end up doing that, I guess?) As requested, we gon get some basilisk action in there! Yay! As soon as we deal with the mess that wasn't dealt with in the previous chapter. Let's just skip that- QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ The Almighty Qs have spoken; let's get some bloody gore written!  
**_

 _ **So Stan, Dipper and our now-human Bill get to fight this giant, magical snake thingy. That's just about it.**_

 _ **Then they all return to our fabulous Mystery Shack in search for the legendary Skrillex monster… or something like that. So yeah, Ma-belle is back with FordFocus and a bunch of drama happens.**_

 _ **A* planning skills, I know – end of chapter xx**_

 _ **Note to self: File a complaint to Wikipedia. I refuse to accept '12 fingers long' as a legitimate unit of measurement.**_

* * *

 **Can't wait to write the next chapter, I've already got a bunch of ideas swimming around in my head; I could say buzzing in my head but I don't like buzzing. Or bugs. It annoys me to hell. Not that you care, right? I have no idea where this is going~**

 **So yeah, thanks for reading! Go leave a review if you want to, I guess? And feel free to request any creatures that you want.**


	23. Another First Summer

**The chapter title isn't the name of the monster for reasons that will be explained in the end notes.  
** **Sorry in advance for sorry and all mistakes.**

* * *

Ah, summer break: a time for leisure; recreation; and taking 'er easy… unless you were him. Suddenly, the welcome sign to Gravity Falls was shattered to pieces by a small vehicle – driving in said vehicle were two children; a boy and a girl. The two screamed as the dusty, white golf cart plummeted down onto a narrow dirt road, getting thrown forward and the girl almost fell out of her seat if it weren't for her iron grip on the dash board. Swerving the cart along a dirty mud-path, it nearly fell over a few times and the two children were worried that it might until it steadied, driving quickly down the road. Trees sped past them along with bushes, rocks, a portable toilet and a picturesque scene of the mountain in the distance which they might have enjoyed more were they not in such a rush.

Behind them, the tops of trees could be seen falling down from above the forest, a loud growl accompanying the loud snapping of wood. The girl in the cart turned around to look behind them. "It's getting closer!" she yelled to the boy. An enormous shadow was soon cast over their vehicle, ominously shaped like a humanoid creature – a giant; it reached its large claws down to snap at them aggressively but the boy driving the cart pushed his foot down on the pedal harder, if possible, and the cart quickly gained enough speed to escape the monster's clutches. The vehicle suddenly jolted and was thrown into the air as they drove over a large rock, spinning in the air a few times before they landed.

The boy in the driver's seat had a look of determination set upon his features as he focused on driving – his name was Dipper. The other was holding a hand over her mouth and clutching at the dashboard desperately. The girl about to puke was his sister, Mabel. You may be wondering what they were doing in a golf cart, fleeing from a creature of unimaginable horror…

The monster behind them wrapped its huge hands around a large tree, easily pulling it and uprooting it from the ground. In one quick motion, it launched the plant forward, aiming for the two humans in the cart, but it flew straight past them and instead landed sideways, blocking their path. "Look out!" Mabel warned, pointing at the obstacle. The vehicle skidded to the side and they screamed as they neared it.

...Rest assured, there was a perfectly logical explanation.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Dipper screamed as the vehicle spun out of his control, skidding beneath the large tree and toppling over onto its side. Head pounding almost as fast as his heart now, he dragged himself across the floor on aching limbs away from the damaged vehicle; he was relieved to find that they were outside of the shack. They could get to safety easily, they just needed to-

The world around him rippled like water that had a stone plopped into it. Looking around in confusion, the events carried on as the enormous gnome monster stood before them threateningly. The world seemed to ripple once more but this time, nothing moved: the gnomes stood still; Mabel was frozen behind the cart; birds in the sky paused mid-flight. Confused at the turn of events, he looked around warily, not expecting for things to suddenly start moving again when they did. He jumped as a shovel was launched forward from just behind him and the gnomes crushed it easily beneath one fist; had Mabel thrown the shovel? Before he could question it further, the monster stepped forward, the ground shaking with each step it took.

"It's the end of the line, kids," Jeff announced from atop the gnome figure's head. "Mabel, marry us before we do something crazy!"  
Hadn't Dipper heard those words before? Something seemed off about the situation, the boy felt as though he had seen this scene before in his own head. Had he?  
"I g̸ot̢t͠a d-do it-t," Mabel stepped forward bravely, words distorting and stuttering as she spoke, almost like a glitching video; but her brother seemed to be the only one who noticed. "T̴-͝t̢r̛ùs͟t̵ ͞m͡è-̸mę," she coaxed, words continuing to come out in a distorted slur. He only gave her a confused look as she continued to stare at him. The world around him rippled again as she spoke: "D̢í̕-̛i̴̶-̨̨͘ipp̵͝e̴̢͠r̴̵," even the girl herself seemed to distort just like her voice and the world around them. "T̴-͝t̢r̛ù~" the syllable drew out for a long minute, the computer-like glitching becoming unbearable as the unfinished word transitioned into an ear-piercing high pitched squeak. Despite the horrific perversions of the reality around him, Mabel didn't move; her eyes locked on Dipper. He didn't say a word, only looking back at his twin in an odd mixture of horror and worry; what was happening?

A new voice filled the air from behind him: "The tiger was badly injured in the explosion but we repaired him… with a fist!" He turned to look at the source of the sound and was momentarily stunned at the sudden change in scenery. Instead of being outside the shack like he had been only second before, he was now in the living room of the shack, sitting in front of the TV with his sister and Soos. Looking behind him again in surprise, he was greeted only by the boring wall of the shack.  
Before he knew it, cheers were escaping his mouth without his consent; "Whoa! Yeah! That tiger is a hero!" he shouted.

Playing on the TV was a video of a tiger with a fist attached to its side, punching at the animal's face. "Tiger Fist will return after these important messages," the voice on the TV informed. What then filled the screen was a video of a pair of hands releasing a group of doves, accompanied by a soothing melody.  
"Hey look," Soos said, "it's that commercial I was telling you guys about."  
Dipper watched the advert contently, interest piqued. It showed a backdrop of a snowy mountain and a voice asked; "are you completely miserable?" It switched to a man crying on a bed who then sobbed:  
"Yes!"  
"Then you need to meet _Gideon_..."  
Dipper's brows furrowed, "Gideon?" he asked.  
"What makes him so special?" Mabel asked.  
The advert spoke as if it knew what she had asked: "he's a psychic."  
The girl tilted her head, confused by the information.  
"So don't waste your time with other so called ' _men of mystery,_ '" it flicked to a video of Stan stepping out of a portable toilet, groaning and trying to shake a piece of toilet paper from beneath his slipper. "Learn about tomorrow tonight at Gideon's tent of telepathy!" A short paragraph scrolled across the screen too quickly to read, but Dipper was sure that he saw and heard something about both tight pants and loving someone but never having the guts to say it… strange.

"Wow," Mabel gushed, "I'm getting all curious-y inside!"  
A new voice jointed the conversation from the doorway as Stan walked in, "well don't get too curious-y." He flipped his eye-patch off of his glasses, "ever since that monster, Gideon, rolled into town, I've had nothing but trouble." The man explained the problems he'd had thanks to this ' _Gideon'_ character and an idea popped into Dipper's head as he spoke. Once his Grunkle had finished his story, the brunet asked:  
"Why not ask Great Uncle Ford? He probably knows. I mean, I bet psychics aren't even real, right?" he reasoned.  
No one replied and he looked at the other three people in the room. He was mildly surprised to see stoic expressions on their faces while they stared at him, but no one said a thing. Had he said something wrong? Thinking over it again, he had mentioned a Great Uncle Ford… who was that? The words had slipped from his mouth so easily but now that he thought about it, he didn't know of any Great Uncles aside from Stan.  
Mabel shattered the nerve-racking silence with a question: "well is he really psychic?"  
No one spoke for a moment and a sudden wave rippled through the room before Stan spoke: "never! You're forbidden from patronising the competition – no one that lives under my roof is allowed under that Gideon's roof," he shook a fist for emphasis.  
"Do tents have roofs?" Dipper found himself asking, raising one eyebrow.  
"I think we just found our loophole," Mabel grinned and held up a piece of string that was tied in a loop. "Literally. Womp, womp!"

A loud roar shook the room but Mabel only continued to talk as he turned around to investigate. Shocked at the sight before him, he gasped; half of the living room was gone and appeared to have been torn away. Planks of wood hung limply from the ceiling and the walls and the fish tank that was usually tucked against the wall was now cut clean in half. Somehow, the water in the tank stayed in place, defying gravity; what had replaced the other half of the living room was a vast expanse of green grass, void of animals, trees, bushes or any other signs of life.

"Mabel," he tried to talk to the girl and the other two men in the room, only to be ignored as his twin continued her senseless rambling. Sighing, he turned back around to the field and stepped forward, away from the safety of the shack: as he placed one foot on the lush grass, a sudden cracking resounded through the air although he seemed to be the only one who heard it. Suddenly, a crack formed in the ground next to him, on the wooden floorboards of the shack's living room. Another cracking sound filled the air as the fracture split apart – the child was stunned when a large cluster of leaves pushed their way through the crack and spouted into a fully-grown, healthy bush. But it didn't stop there: the bush was lifted higher and higher until the boy could see that it wasn't a bush, but instead a tree. The plant grew tall and healthy, breaking through the ceiling of the living room and towering over him. His family _still_ hadn't noticed.

Taking another step forward, he was surprised again as another tree spouted next to him – a new tree grew tall with each step he took and as he got further and further from the safety of the shack, more wildlife grew around him until a thick forest replaced the previously void field. Dipper continued to walk until the voices of his friends and family faded away, replaced by the natural melody that belonged to the forest. The last thing he heard from the shack was his twin's shouts, so quiet that he almost didn't hear: "you need to wake up!" He quickly dismissed the command when he gasped and watched in awe from behind a tree as something new happened before his eyes: a small organism as small as his thumb was shaping into existence, growing at an increasingly rapid pace until he could make out what it was supposed to be: a deer. The child held his breath in fear of scaring the deer away, however, the forest animal stopped growing the moment he held in his breath. He released it in a slow exhale, stunned when the deer began to grow once more as he breathed – was it just a coincidence? He paused his breathing again testily and the deer stopped growing once more, but when he took a deeper breath, the growing resumed much faster than before. It was like he was literally breathing life into the animal.

The brunet reached into his vest for the journal and pulled it out quietly before flicking through the pages, perhaps there would be information on the creature? He stopped turning pages when a loud roar cracked the peaceful silence, frightening the deer and causing it to bolt through the trees out of sight. Looking up, he was face to face with a large, ugly creature: twice as tall as him with murky green skin, its body resembled an ape's; green fur grew on its arms and head, which had a short snout and pointed ears. Sharp fangs grew from its bottom line of teeth and red eyes stared at him intently. The boy avoided eye contact with the monster in favour of glancing back down at his journal briefly – was it really a coincidence that he'd turned to the page about the gremloblin?

Spinning on his heels, he dashed away in a steady sprint as he read the journal. Skimming the text frantically, he searched for something – anything – about the gremlobin's weaknesses; but of course, there was nothing about it. Just his luck.  
"Bill!" he shouted frantically, "can't you do something?!" There was no reply in his head or aloud. He furrowed his brows as he continued to run from the pursuing monster; what did he expect? Who was he talking to? He didn't know a Bill, so why had the words slipped from his tongue so easily? _'_ _Why am I even out here?!'_ he yelled to himself in his head. There was a ripple in the world around him again, causing the boy to stumble but pick himself up easily to continue running; he had to capture the gremloblin for Mabel. His sister had wanted something paranormal for the gift shop and he'd gone out to find the monster, only for it to find him first. In the back of his mind, something was screaming at him that this wasn't right, why was he there? Another small portion of his mind told him that he'd done this enough to know where he should be going; he agreed with himself completely. Making a sharp turn to the left, the gremloblin behind him let out a loud roar as it, too, skidded to turn and run after him.

The boy had only been in Gravity Falls for a few weeks and this was his first summer in the area yet he felt like he knew the town – not just the town, but the forest – like the back of his hand. Once again, his own small voice in the back of his head told him that no, he was wrong. After a short few minutes of breathless running and dodging disturbed only by the occasional ripple in the world, he reached a hot spring. Leaping over each puddle and around one large pond, he stopped on the other side of the rocky area and turned to witness what happened next. The monster didn't hesitate to run through the puddles and Dipper smiled smugly as he watched it shrink, growing younger and younger – it soon ran away into the forest.  
"Yeah, hot spring of youth!" he cheered happily but then frowned and called after it: "hey wait! I'm still a… cervitaur..." he paused as the words left his mouth, brows furrowing. What was a cervitaur? He was still human, of course.

Suddenly, the world around him rippled again and he stumbled before falling forward into the large hot spring – hot water washed over his entire being, burning his skin. Skin numbing, he squeezed his eyes shut as the scorching temperature quickly transitioned to a freezing, ice-like coldness. Eyelids flicking open again quickly, he kicked his legs and moved his arms, swimming upwards – the spring was a lot deeper than it looked and smelled like… was that chlorine? As his head breached the surface of the water, he gasped for air and new sounds reached his ears. Wiping at his stinging eyes, he looked at his surroundings and was shocked that they had changed again; instead of the spring or the lush forest, he was at the Gravity Falls swimming pool. Looking around, he spotted Mermando floating idly in the corner of the pool, Deputy Durland spraying Sheriff Blubs with a water gun and-  
"Hey, Mr. Pines!" Wendy called from the lifeguard tower. Dipper climbed out of the water and found himself wearing a white t-shirt, red shorts, his cap and his usual socks and shoes.  
"Wendy?" Stan asked, wiping water from his face. "Where's the lifeguard?" the man scanned the area in search for the person.  
"I _am_ the lifeguard," the red-head replied. "I make the rules, sucker! Boosh!" she threw another water balloon at Stan and he shielded his head behind his hands before running away.  
"She's attacking me with water!" he cried.

Soos, Dipper and Wendy laughed before the youngest of the three addressed his crush; "wow, you work here?"  
"I found out lifeguards get free snack privileges," she replied. "Plus, I get the best seat in the house," she bragged.  
"Awesome," he smiled.  
"Du̴d͝è," Soos whispered in his ear, words sounding slightly off and sending a shiver down the boy's spine. "A̴r͢e͝ yo̴u and ̴W̨en͏ḑy ha̵v͜i͜ng a̕ s͟ecr҉et͞ sta̕rįng ͏con̡tes̶t́? ̨Ca͡use̶ ̷I͡ t̵hin̸k ̕you͘'r̀e͞ win͡n͡in̷ģ," he said.  
The brunet looked at the man and backed away slowly; what was happening? A ripple shook the world around him as Soos only continued to stare at him; looking up to Wendy for some kind of explanation or support, she too was wearing an emotionless mask as she stared at him.  
"Į͘'͡͏d̢͞ ̴̛l͜-̴l̴o̴҉v̶͏ę̧̢ ̶̨t̵̸̛o," Wendy suddenly spoke up, words heavily distorted. Was she talking about the staring contest Soos had mentioned? "But I got to spent the day doing try outs," her voice returned to its normal tone briefly before suddenly changing. The child didn't know if it was better or worse than the distorted voice she'd had previously – at least that sounded somewhat like her. The new voice, despite being mostly normal, wasn't hers; "come on, Pine Tree, wake up," she said. The voice was higher in pitch and slightly more nasally, if that was the right word to describe it.  
His brows furrowed before another ripple shook the world around him, this time much more violent. "Whoa," he wobbled around the keep his balance, trying to hold onto something to steady himself but everything around him was affected by the strange movements.

"Halt!" A sudden shouting filled the air and he recognised the voice easily as Gideon's. "I command you to halt!" he ordered. The voice was so loud that it hurt his ears and he winced, pushing his hands into them to quieten the noise. Looking behind him to where the shouting came from, the scenery changed once again and he found himself looking out of a bus window. Behind the bus that they sat in was a giant robot that looked exactly like Gideon, chasing them and quickly gaining on the vehicle. Dipper and Mabel screamed at the sight before turning around and jumping from their seat.

Replacing what had been the Gravity Falls pool was now the inside of a bus – Dipper decided to ignore the sudden change of scenery to run to the front of the bus alongside his sister.  
"Mr. Bus driver," Mabel started frantically and pointed to the back window; "there's a giant Gideon-bot coming towards us!"  
"Oh hey dudes," Soos greeted from the driver's seat and turned to give them a smile.  
"Soos!" the twins cheered.  
"Don't worry, guys. I've been a part-time bus driver for at least forty minutes." Fiddling with the gears briefly, he sped up in the bus and drove along a dirt-road.  
"Soos, look out!" Mabel suddenly shouted, pointing in front of them to a large metallic hand that blocked their path. The man yelled and swerved the vehicle to the left to drive along a different road, smashing through a 'road closed' sign. As they drove, Dipper thought that they might have finally lost Gideon, only for the enormous robot to reach an arm up and pull himself over the cliff to pursue them further.  
"He already won, what does he want from us?" Dipper asked. Turning around to face the front of the bus again, he pointed forward and warned: "Soos! Cliff!" The three screamed as they skidded closer to the edge, slowly sliding to a stop on the very edge. The back wheels dangled over the edge of the cliff dangerously and in the back of the boy's mind, he couldn't help but think that this had happened before. Shouldn't he know what to do?

The man shifted gears again and tried to drive forward onto safer ground, but the wheel was stuck and refused to move. A loud stomping shook the vehicle violently as the Gideon-bot approached. Metallic fingers clutching the top of the vehicle, they shook it until the roof of the bus was torn off, the rest of the vehicle crashing down on the floor unceremoniously with a loud bang. The rattling and shaking of the bus forced Dipper to cling to the bus seats desperately, his head hitting against the window harshly with each shake Gideon gave them. He squeezed his eyes shut in an attempt to will away the pain, ignoring the feeling of liquid running down the back of his head and neck. He soon felt another ripple shake the world, forcing his head back hard against the glass of the window so harshly that the glass cracked.  
"He's bleeding!" his sister's voice rang through his head.

Eyes snapping open again, the interior of the bus had disappeared and he found that he was instead laying atop the cliff opposite from where he'd been only moments before. Sitting up, he rubbed at his pounding head and stood too quickly, a dizziness overwhelming him immediately – he forced himself forward to stand on the edge of the cliff and was forced to watch as the Gideon-bot carried Mabel away, across the bridge.  
"Once I get the final journal, I'll rule this town!" Gideon announced and looked the girl in his hand. "With you as my queen," he laughed.  
"Let go of me!" Mabel shouted at Gideon, banging her fists on the robot's metal hand angrily. "Mabel!" Dipper shouted. Something seemed off about the moment, was this how it was supposed to happen?  
"L̡͏̨̕e̷͞͏̶t̷͞͏͡ ͘͢͢͠ǵ͟͡ơ͟ !" Mabel shouted, words almost unidentifiable, thick with inhuman sounds that Dipper knew no human could make, let alone his own sister. The world around him rippled again, far more violently, as if someone had thrown a boulder into a pool – he stumbled backwards, unsure of what to do. What could he do? Standing back at the edge of the forest, he squeezed his eyes shut and pressed his hands into his ears as hard as he could in an effort to stop the scene from playing out in front of him. "D̶̵̨̀i͏p͘͡p̀͏́e̶҉͡r͞!̡̛ " Mabel continued to call his name, followed by a slur of words that moulded together so horrifically with the shouts and screams that he couldn't make out a single word of it.

Suddenly, his body was pushed forcefully back, his spine colliding harshly with something cold and firm that dug into his back. His name was called as clear as day: "Dipper!"  
His eyes flicked open again to see Mabel, her foot caught on a power cord, floating in the air. His mind was a mess, a big blur. How was he supposed to keep up with everything that was happening? "Mabel!" The words left his mouth without his consent, "hurry, shut it down!" he pointed to the red button. The red button. The red button that could be so dangerous to them; the red button that could kill them; the red button that could destroy Gravity Falls; the red button… _'the red button that can bring back Great Uncle Ford,'_ his brain shouted at him. His head hurt from everything he'd had to take in in such a short amount of time: he felt like half of his summer had passed in a matter of hours.

Another ripple tore through the space that they were in as Mabel spoke: "Grunkle Stan," she clutched the button like it was a life line – which, Dipper thought, it probably was. "I don't even know if you're my Grunkle," she sobbed. "I want to believe you, but..." her hand lifted slowly above the red switch, hovering hesitantly.  
"Stop!" Dipper shouted, finally finding his voice. "Don't do it!" His brain pounded against his skull violently and a loud sound resounded through the air that sounded like grass cracking.  
"T minus twenty seconds," a robotic voice announced.

A blast from the portal launched them back further into the wall easily, leaving Mabel to cling to the red button by herself, unsure of what to do. She lifted her hand to press it but stopped when Stan shouted to her, sending another ripple through the room that seemed to leave cracks in Dipper's vision as if he was wearing glasses: "look in to my eyes, Mabel! Do you really think I'm a bad guy?"  
The boy scrunched his eyes shut to block out the cracks in his vision, ignoring them. "Don't do it, Mabel!" he shouted to her. A large portion of his brain screamed and shouted at him; _'no, Mabel has to push that button._ _'_ Dipper decided to listen to the small fragment in the back of his mind that whispered: _'don't push it. Save Great Uncle Ford.'_

There was a flash of light behind his eyes and he felt his body falling, pulled down by gravity – he landed on his chest and opened his eyes. He was laying just outside the gift shop of a tourist trap: not the Mystery Shack, but instead Upside-Down Town.  
"Maybe it's the blood pooling to my head," said Grenda, "but Dipper seems different." The boy quickly got to his feet and glanced around before stumbling out of the door of the gift shop outside.

He recognised the new room as a secret one hidden deep within the Northwest mansion. Dust in the air choked him more than his collar already was and he waved his hand around to dispel the lingering particles before scanning the room. "That's weird," Pacifica spoke from next to him; "I don't even know where this room is."

Another voice turned Dipper's attention to the space behind him: "spin, spin, spin, spin, kick!" The child turned and put his arm up to shield his eyes from the bright pixels that were Rumble Mcskirmish. "High five!" the character suddenly announced, raising a hand and slapping it forward – instead of hitting his hand like it was meant to, it slapped his face; the boy stumbled back from the sharp pixels, turning around and rubbing at his face to get rid of the pain.  
"Ow," he complained.

"Don't mention it," Mabel smiled to his right – his twin had just punched a gnome off of his face as they-

"We're rolling to the party, the boys are looking our way," Mabel sang from the rooftop; "we just keep dancing; we don't care what they say!" The zombies below them-

He was tackled to the floor suddenly, above him was clone five who continued to slap him; "quit hitting myself, quit hitting myself," he-

Ford yanked him onto the back of a centaur-taur that the boy's sister had summoned-

He lifted the spear high above his head before driving it back down into the stone-

He struggled against the ropes in the secret lair of the Society of The Blind Eye-

Different images and scenes played out before Dipper's eyes and a variety of sounds reached his ears, each one different from the last. With each moment that he watched, his headache only worsened, eventually getting so bad that he thought his head might explode. Each image flew past his eyes faster than he could see; unable to tell what was happening, the brunet squeezed his eyes shut and pressed his hands into his ears in an endeavour to stop the confusing events. Between the different rambling of the many voices, one distinct voice filled his head, so loud that he couldn't block it out: "Dipper." He recognised it immediately as his sister's; "please wake up."

A loud crack resounded through the air but the boy refused to open his eyes. The ground below him seemed fragile beneath his feet, he could feel it wobbling and hear the cracks that fractured it. Holding his breath, he was only half surprised when the floor beneath him collapsed, shattering into millions of microscopic fragments and digging into his flesh like pins and needles; the world around him quietened, the only sound being the echo of shattering glass as he fell.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Eyes flicked open. Head pounding, pins and needles poked at his skin. Every muscle, every limb, every fibre of his being hurt like he'd been hit by a bus before being trampled by a herd of elephants and had his corpse thrown in front of a train – and yet he couldn't bring himself to utter a sound, not a word nor a scream of pain. Moving aching limbs slowly, he pushed himself up with his arms and all of his effort to sit straight in bed; he was in his bedroom in the shack.  
"Dipper!" a cry from next to him captured his attention. Turning his head a bit too fast, Mabel was sitting next to his bed on a chair, eyes focused on him; she jumped up from her place and pounced on him, wrapping her arms around him in a vice-like hug.  
"Mabel," he squeezed out, "can't breathe."  
"Oops, sorry," she let go and grinned at him. "You're awake! Grunkle Stan and Bill must have sorted everything out," she resisted the urge to hug him again as she sat on the edge of his bed.  
"Sorted what out? I feel like I just got hit by seven buses..." he winced as he leaned back against the wall behind his bed.  
The bright smile dimmed a small amount, but still remained on her face; "yeah, you look like it too… A bunch of weird things were happening while you were asleep."  
"Like what?"  
"Well you didn't wake up this morning even when we called you but then Bill showed up pretty soon after to go do whatever with you," she gestured with her hands as she explained. "But then he got super annoyed and said something about a curse from a time demon? I don't know, something freaky like that. Anyway, you kept talking in your sleep and… getting hurt somehow…"  
The boy thought about all of the things that had happened while he was asleep; he'd been in a lot of pain in more than one situation – had all of that damage been inflicted on his physical body, too? As he thought about that possibility, his back burnt at the memory of the hot springs, his head spun from the thought of his head crashing into the bus' window so many times, his eyes stung from the chlorine that filled them, his throat hurt from shouting to his sister over the noise of the portal – his entire body was in pain.  
"What did you dream about?" Mabel asked, dragging him from his thoughts.  
"It wasn't really like I was dreaming. I was reliving the first summer we spent here but a bunch of weird things kept happening," he explained.  
"Really? You relived the entire summer in only a day?" the girl asked incredulously.  
"It wasn't as fun as it sounds." Looking down at his hands in his lap, he picked at a scab that he'd gotten in the dream; how had it damaged his body, too?

Before he knew it, he was pulled into another, gentler, hug by his sister. "We were really worried… you kept getting hurt somehow and we didn't know what to do." The boy was shocked at the sudden confession, but wrapped his arms around his twin to return the hug. He flinched when something warm dripped onto his shoulder, almost unnoticeable.  
"Mabel?"  
"You stopped breathing at one point," she choked out. Mabel was crying.  
"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to make you worry," he tightened his arms around her. "But I'm fine now."  
"We should tell Great Uncle Ford that you're awake," she pulled away and gave a reassuring smile. "He's been down in the basement trying to find a way to get you better." Wiping at her nose, she sniffed before carrying on: "and Grunkle Stan went with Bill to go find that demon-y thing and see what they can do."  
"Really?" he almost laughed at the revelation, "I didn't think either of them would want to work together."  
"Well they did, and you're better so whatever they did worked!" she cheered. "Let's go see Great Uncle Ford!" Hopping from the bed, she pulled her brother along.  
Wincing at the pain that spread through each limb, he pulled back quickly, "I think I'm going to shower first." His skin was sticky with sweat and caked in a flaky, crimson substance that the boy suspected was blood.  
"Don't take too long, I'm going to make us some glitter-rainbow-pancakes!" she ambled from the room without another word and he smiled at her enthusiasm.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

The heat of the shower greatly helped to not only clean his skin but to soothe each wound he'd received. Stepping out of the hot shower, he looked at himself in the mirror and grimaced – despite being much cleaner than before, each red cut and purple bruise now stood out clearly against his pale skin. The flesh along his arms was sliced open, gaping wounds that made him wonder how he hadn't passed out from blood loss; his face was scratched, bruised and small teeth marks dented the bridge of his nose from where a gnome had decided to chew. Turning around and looking behind him, his back was scorched a burning red from the hot springs he'd fallen in, dark finger-shaped bruises decorated his wrist and chin and the boy wasn't so sure that they had been inflicted in the dream… As he moved, a ringing filled his ears and he found it harder to coordinate his steps than he remembered – which now that he thought about it, he was pretty sure that he was forgetting some things… Nothing important, of course; he still knew his name – both his real one and his nickname – and the names of his family; he could still recall nearly every page in the third journal. It was only the few moments before each incident that he forgot; the events that had brought him so much pain. ' _It's nothing worth worrying about,'_ he told himself.

After dressing himself in his pyjamas, he slipped into bed and snuggled up beneath the warm blanket. Despite having slept all day, he was exhausted – he felt like he'd gone through three months without sleep. Sighing in content, he let himself slowly drift away to a dreamless sleep.

* * *

 **Time demon was a request, the BA will be linked in the next chapter.  
Well, how many of you thought that it was Bill messing with Dipper? Oh ye of little faith~ I like Bill too much to make him that evil... right now, anyway. So yeah, about the chapter title: I didn't name it 'time demon' cause the next chapter is going to be Bill and Stan's adventure in finding it and I want to call that one by that name. Plus, the time demon is barely mentioned in this chapter. So yeah, you could consider this a two part adventure, I guess? Oh yeah, and don't worry - Dipper is fine, nothing long-term. This is still just a filler chapter with no real plot, as dramatic as this felt. (Did I hit you right in the feels? I hope so, how was it reminiscing all of the GF episodes?)  
** **I hate myself; why must the body of a human, teenage female be so irritating? My dad walked into my room and started playing the GF theme tune and I _cried._ Yes, I seriously cried. Then I laughed while I was crying and I have no idea why - I think something is wrong with me. Send help. **

**No plan was written for this chapter, sorry.  
Thanks for reading, please review if you didn't expect Rumble Mcskirmish to get a cameo in this fic ;D**


	24. Time Demon

**Sorry in advance for any and all mistakes.  
Have some Stan and Bill adventures.**

* * *

A ring of candles illuminated the dark, dank room only a small amount. Only stained laminate flooring could be seen in the shadows engulfing the room, the small speckles of flooring that could be seen being bathed in an inviting, orange glow from the wicks of the candles. Words were muttered quietly and unsurely, echoing through the small space ominously. The voice stopped speaking, the echoes quickly dying to leave a deafening silence. After a tense minute, the candle closest to the one who owned the voice died, the small light extinguishing. Then another flame died. Then another. And another. All of the light had soon been extinguished, leaving the room in a frightening blackness. Suddenly, the entire ring of blackened wicks was lit once more in a hot, beryl flame, and in the centre of the circle, a much larger cerulean light was lit, as large as a person. Once the teal tongues of fire had vanished from sight, a figure was revealed in the space, standing tall – their bright clothes emitted a bright light that illuminated the room and the shocked expression on the summoner's face. The figure laughed before speaking: "what, you didn't expect me to show up?"  
The man on the floor gawked and stumbled to his feet before stuttering: "you-you're…?"

The figure lifted their top hat with a toothy grin; "Bill Cipher, at your service."  
"H-how are you here?"  
"Well," Bill huffed, "you did summon me. But if you don't want me here then I can just go, I have a certain Pine Tree I need to attend to, anyway," he smiled.  
The man furrowed his brows at the mention of a tree and the demon nearly laughed at the human's confusion; "No!" the mortal replied quickly. "No, I want to make a deal."  
"Great, what is it that you want? Money? Fame? The girl of your dreams?" the blond counted each one on his fingers.  
"T-that last one, actually… how did you know? Can you read minds?"  
"You meat-sacks are all the same, it's never hard to figure it out even without reading your minds. So, what are you offering in return, kid?"  
The human frowned, "I'm not a kid… I'm seventeen."  
"Jeez fine, what are you offering _child?"_

"Uh…" The demon only half-listened to the mortal's rambling – which was more about why his girlfriend had dumped him than the offer itself – when a sudden pressure filled his chest. It was so light that he nearly dismissed it when a thought struck him: his entire physical form was made from one soul; perhaps this pressure had something to do with the bond between himself and the original owner of the soul. He furrowed his own brows in thought; Pine Tree's feelings and actions never affected his new form, no mortal was strong enough to impact him like that – even if it was only the smallest pressure, it could still mean trouble. Perhaps a ghost was involved; could the boy have been possessed? _'_ _No, ghosts are far too weak for me to feel it,'_ he told himself, eyes flicking around the room as he thought. It must have been something else… a demon, he concluded.

"Hey," the summoner's voice brought him away from his thoughts quickly; "are you even listening to me?" the man snapped.  
"Nope," the demon admitted.  
"We're meant to be making a deal, don't-"  
Bill quickly decided he was tired of the meat-bag's attitude, bolting forward in the blink of an eye and wrapping a hand around the mortal's throat. "Don't get so confident, kid," he snarled, holding the human up easily and applying enough pressure on his throat to limit the air he could breathe. "I have more important things to deal with," placing the man back on his feet roughly, he shoved the human backwards so he stumbled over to land on his behind, coughing and rubbing at his bruised throat.  
Bill disappeared in a blue fire.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

"Pine Tree~" Bill sang as he appeared in the boy's bedroom, "having another bad day?" he asked lightly as the flames died away.  
"Bill?" the blond was surprised that it wasn't Pine Tree's voice that called his name. As the azure dripped away from his vision, he saw Shooting Star standing by her brother's bed, the boy was snuggled up under a blanket comfortably and he smiled at the sight of the boy dreaming so peacefully. Before he knew what was happening, a sharp pain flared through his back for a split second and he stumbled forward from the force but caught himself on the table. Spinning around, the pain was gone faster than it had appeared and he shot a glare at the man who stood behind him; Stanley Pines  
Fists clenched so hard that his knuckles whitened and face contorted into an expression of rage, he spat angrily at the demon: "what the heck did you do?"  
The immortal resisted the urge to snap the man's neck. Pine Tree would never forgive him if he hurt his family. Inhaling deeply, he forced a cheerful smile and clasped his hands behind his back to keep from murdering the human before releasing the breath in a long exhale through his nose. "Well I was strangling some meat-sack over in Poland before I showed up here," he replied nonchalantly.

Fez made another move to punch Bill, but the immortal reached up a hand and easily caught the fist in it, "stop punching everybody, Fez, it gets old fast," he commanded irritably.  
"That..." a small voice muttered from behind him; the blond turned his head to look at the owner of the voice: Pine Tree. The boy was still asleep in his bed, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips as he curled up in the blankets, "tiger...hero," the words came out in a tired slur and the demon could feel a smile ghosting his own lips.  
"Well," Bill said, "I don't see why you're complaining. It seems like Pine Tree is having a pretty nice dream, to me. And as much as I wish I was responsible for it," he chuckled, "I'm not, so you can't blame me for such sweet dreams."  
Fez threw his other fist at the demon, only for that to be caught just as easily as the first. "Stop lying," the man spat.

Bill rose an eyebrow at that, smile dropping; why was the boy's family so worried? Fez was angry enough to be punching him and Shooting Star was anything but cheerful if she was this quiet.  
The young girl in the room finally spoke up: "he's cursed," she explained. "If you didn't do it then who did?" she glared at the demon.  
Bill tensed at the information; "how do you know it's a curse?"  
Fez tore his fists away while he was distracted and shoved him back again, this time causing the blond to fall onto his behind. "Don't play dumb, we know you did it."

The demon shot up in an instant, aiming his own fist at the man and sending the other flying back into the loft's door, "big mistake, you sack of meat." Moving forward, he grabbed a handful of the meat-sack's shirt and pulled him closer, lighting a hand in a dangerously hot azure flame.  
"Grunkle Stan!" Shooting Star ran forward in an attempt to help the man, but her path was blocked when a line of azure flames cut the room in half before her.  
"Watch it, Fez," Bill growled and lifted his flaming palm in warning – he moved it so close to the other that he could see sweat beading on his forehead. "I could get rid of you easily; I've only kept you around for so long because Pine Tree would hate me if I killed you. But now," a malicious grin split his face in two, "he doesn't need you, he's got me – I think I'll just end you here so you stop trying to mess up my plans." Fez only glared back at him as he moved his hand closer, both of them ignoring Shooting Star's sobbing and begging from behind him.

Then Bill paused. It wasn't the girl's begging that had stopped him, or the man's stubborn attitude as he refused to back down. It definitely wasn't his own pity for the man, either. It was the quiet words that reached his ears, reminding him of the forgotten presence in the room: "ask… gr...unkle..." The slur reminded the demon of how much his Pine Tree would hate him if he were to hurt his family. Fighting the temptation to simply kill the man then and there, he forced his muscles to relax and dropped the human's shirt. Neither being said anything as they glared at each other; Shooting Star ran forward and hugged her Great Uncle the moment the flames blocking her path extinguished. With a dismissive wave of his hand, Bill turned away and moved to stand next to Pine Tree's bed, he cut off Fez before the human could complain: "I'm trying to get rid of that curse he apparently has, so don't bother complaining. I won't hesitate to kill you next time," he didn't look at the mortal as he spoke, instead keeping his eyes locked on the small boy in the bed.

Gently placing a hand on the brunet's forehead, he closed his eyes and focused intently on pushing past the boy's mental barrier without hurting him. In his triangular form, he could see the boy's mindscape, grey and dreary, cobwebs clinging to nearly everything – the boy stood out in the monotonous grey of the room, his clothes popping brightly in comparison; he was sitting in the middle of the room, on the white rug that lay on the floor. What stood out to Bill, however, were the chains that wrapped around the boy's form: heavy links that wound around his torso and bound his arms to his sides, rendering them useless. His feet were crossed neatly below him and his head hung forward limply, his face hidden – Bill moved forward and took note of the large padlock that kept the chains in place before using a small thread of magic to lift the brunet's head. Dull, black irises hid behind half-closed lids, staring into an empty space before him; winding around his head was another chain, binding his mouth shut. The demon noticed that on the teen's cap, the usual blue pine tree symbol had vanished, leaving a boring white fabric; the immortal quickly concluded that it must have been done by whoever cursed the teen to irritate him. It had worked. Quickly winding his magic around the thirteen-year-old's form, he pulled at the chains and weaved them through the locks in an attempt to free him – the human's eyes widened slightly, dull orbs locking onto the triangular figure before him. Bill growled angrily and muttered to himself; "I'm going to kill him," his more delicate strands of gold had already failed in freeing the boy. He quickly decided to take the more destructive route. With a click of his fingers, the chains were set alight in an azure flame; yet the metal seemed unaffected by his torrent of magic and, if anything, only seemed to tighten around Dipper's form. The brunet flinched, eyes falling completely shut and head hanging low once more, as the chains tightened, clinking with each small movement.

Just as Bill was about to try again, he was forced away. With his concentration broken, he was yanked back to his physical form; he clawed at the boy's mind in an effort to stay, to free Pine Tree from his binds and help him – yet he couldn't fight the pull that forced him back.  
"-top!" Shooting Star was demanding as he returned.  
The blond turned sharp eyes on her, "what did you do?" he hissed.  
"You were hurting Dipper," she replied and gestured to her twin.  
Glancing at said teen, he noticed the human's body shaking violently, a thin layer of sweat covering his skin. "How did a useless bag of fat like yourself know that he's cursed?"  
"Great Uncle Ford said about it, he's downstairs trying to fix it right now."  
The immortal scoffed; "of course. Tell him it's pointless, he won't be able to do it; he was cursed by a time demon, you meat-sacks can't break it." A cobalt flame rose at his feet, spiralling around his form, "I'll deal with it myself." Just as the familiar cobalt filled his vision, something clamped down on his arm roughly.

As the flames vanished, Bill glared at the owner of the hand: Fez. He sighed; of course it would have been him, he was too stubborn to let him just do what he wanted – the demon only stood and watched as the man stumbled backwards, reaching out his arm to support himself on something. Looking around while the human caught his breath, the blond noticed that they weren't where he intended to teleport them; probably because Fez had distracted him at the last moment; "great job, we're not even where we're supposed to be."  
"There's no way," Fez panted, "that I'm leaving you alone right now. I don't trust you with that kid's life."  
Bill gave a toothy grin; "I could say the same to you. I've saved Pine Tree's life more times than you can count, and definitely more than you have."  
"Why, you-"  
"Now," he cut the human off with a single clap of his hands, "thanks to you we went to the complete wrong place. Come here and I'll take us where we need to be." He snatched the man's wrist in his hand and was about to teleport them before the other yanked his arm away.  
"No way," Fez glared at him. "There's no way I'm doing that again, I'd rather walk all day."  
"Come on, Pine Tree does it all the time and he's fine-"  
"He doesn't have a soul any more," he snapped.  
"That point aside, it'll be much faster to teleport-"  
"And he's been cursed and won't wake up."  
"-Because otherwise we have to walk for a few hours."  
"I'll walk."  
"Now, now, Fez~" Bill wrapped an arm around the human's shoulder and pulled him closer. "I think we got off on the wrong foot. Pine Tree would never want us arguing like this, so let's just put this all behind us. You stay out of my business, and I'll be keeping the kid happy;" he released the man from his grip and moved to stand in front of him, "what do you say?" He raised a fiery hand to the other. When the human didn't speak or move, he carried on; "you know, it's nothing personal. I kill anyone who threatens my plans or my possessions."

Fez raised his hand slowly and just as Bill thought he would accept the deal, the human slapped the back of the demon's palm with his, knocking it away and extinguishing the flame. "You can forget it," Fez spat.  
Undeterred by the action, the blond only chuckled quietly; " _right~_ why don't we go find Timmy?" He started walking, prompting the man to follow.  
"Who the heck is Timmy?"  
"My twin brother," the demon explained. When he got no answer he spoke again: "Jeez, I'm kidding. I don't have any family – at least, not anymore; you're no fun to mess with."  
"Who is Timmy?" Fez persisted.  
Bill rolled his eyes in boredom, "the time demon that messed with the kid. I'm gonna kill him."

Neither of them spoke for a long time, spending an hour and a half in tense silence. It was Fez who finally shattered the tense quiet: "what are you planning?"  
Bill smiled at the question, "I'm planning to drive my cane through Timmy's stomach and wind his intestines around it like spaghetti; then-"  
"That's not what I meant. What are you planning for the kid? You already have a body like you wanted, why are you still here?"  
"Well I sure as heck don't want you knowing my _bigger_ plans… as for Pine Tree? I don't like to leave my possessions alone, I'll be keeping him with me for quite a while." Fez had to restrain himself from punching the immortal right then, and Bill laughed at the string of thoughts that ran through the human's mind. "Colourful vocabulary, I hope you don't talk like that around the kids." The immortal reached out to Pine Tree in his mind; _'come on, Pine Tree,'_ he thought, _'wake up.'_

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

They walked for another two hours in silence. It was Bill who finally spoke next: "Timmy should be around here somewhere." Fez glanced around the area while the blond called: "Timmy~ where are you hiding?"  
"Who said I was hiding?" a new voice spoke. From behind a tree, a tall figure walked out into their path.

Standing at the same height as Fez was a tall man; skin pale and dark hair messy, he donned a long ebony coat that reached down to his ankles, hiding his shirt and most of his trousers – peaking out from just below the coat were a pair of black, leather shoes. Hanging from loose sleeves were two belts on each one and keeping the coat closed were two more belts across his chest; sitting on his head was an ebony top hat that had what looked like a pair of goggles over it, however, instead of the glass that Bill or Fez had expected, they were two large, red clocks that read different times. Crimson eyes locked on the dream demon and his mouth was pulled into an almost unnoticeable smile.

"Timmy~" Bill cheered, "good to see you." The dream demon put a hand over his mouth to stifle his laughter; "you look different since we last met...what's with the ridiculous getup?"  
"I'm not Timmy," the other snapped angrily, "It's Timothy! And I wanted to change my look – don't you like it?"  
"It doesn't suit you."  
"Can't please everyone. You look different, too. Very different."  
"Hey," Fez interrupted, "are you forgetting why we're here?"  
The blond looked at the human and rolled his eyes, "oh yeah. Well, it's been nice catching up and all, Timmy-"  
"Timothy," the time demon corrected irritably.  
"But I'm going to have to kill you now."  
"You can only try," Timothy replied confidently.

Summoning his cane, Bill swung it at the other demon quickly, aiming for the being's head – Timothy stepped back and dodged it easily, wrapping once hand around the end of it and yanking the blond toward him before summoning his own cane. Thrusting the cane forward, it easily pierced the other's chest, pushing through flesh and organs until it stabbed through his back and out the other side. As Bill jumped back, someone else shot forward: Fez aimed a fist at the time demon, catching him by surprise and hitting his jaw. While the two were distracted, the blond pulled the cane from his chest with a quiet grunt, throwing it to the side and gripping his own cane harder, jumping forward again to swing the object at the other immortal quickly. Just as the staff collided with Timothy's head, the space around them changed – replacing the lush forest was now a city full of tall skyscrapers and buildings; the streets were void of people. The dream demon ignored the sudden change and kicked the other in the stomach, sending him back. Instead of falling over like Bill had intended, the other being disappeared before his eyes.

"What the heck just happened?" Fez asked, scanning the area.  
"He's trying to get away by hiding in a different time," Bill informed the human. "Oh well, shouldn't be too hard to sniff him out," moving his arm in a wide arc, the street in front of them was set alight in a destructive cobalt flame, burning everything.  
"Over there," Fez spoke from behind him; the immortal turned to look at the safer half of the street that hadn't been burnt yet and saw the man pointing down an alleyway. Moving down the narrow space was a tall shadow – the duo moved quickly to chase the figure. As they turned a corner to move down the alley, the scenery changed again to a white expanse: a vast space that seemed to have no end, no trees, no animals, no life; only the snowy blanket that covered everything. "Now what?" Fez complained. The blond stood in place; how could a demon dressed entirely in black stay hidden in a pure white area? Unless-

The thought was cut off as he was knocked forward, rolling in the white snow until coming to a stop and quickly jumping to his feet. He almost laughed at the sight of Fez wrestling with Timothy. The time demon was forcing his cane forward with two hands into the human while the man fought back, pushing the staff away from him with all of his effort. Timothy easily overpowered the mortal, forcing him back so he fell down onto his back; however, the time demon was shocked when Fez moved his own feet, knocking his from beneath him and causing him to fall down, too. Bill quickly took advantage of it and moved forward, clutching his cane in hand and pushing the other immortal further into the snow with his foot; sharpening the end of his cane through sheer will, he drove the staff through the other's stomach and into the ground below it, a purplish-red ichor staining the black of his cane. "You see this, Fez?" he called to the human behind him, a malicious grin lighting his face. With a twist of his cane that caused the being it was impaling to grunt, he laughed and repeated his words from earlier that day: "winding his intestines around it like spaghetti."  
Timothy glared at him; "I can't believe you," he spat, "working with a human."  
Bill leaned his elbow on his cane and his chin in his palm, crossing the other arm over it idly as he feigned relaxation and interest in the subject: "we have a common goal."  
The other laughed sarcastically, "to save that kid? How pathetic."  
"Can't please everyone," the blond mimicked the other's words from earlier and gave a violent twist of his cane. Yanking the cane out sharply, he grinned at the dark liquid that coated the end of it and the figure on the ground moved instantly, kicking his legs out to trip up the blond. Once Bill had fallen onto his back, the other kicked at his side and forced him onto his stomach before he climbed onto him in the blink of an eye, straddling him and pinning him down with his weight.  
Timothy chuckled, "so you've made this body from a soul. That kid's, I'm guessing? Maybe I should take that power for myself."

He placed his hands on either side of the blond's head, however, before he could focus his power, his form was knocked abruptly the side, a weight settling on top of him. Above him was Fez, anger etched on his features and fists clenched. Raising an arm back, the human punched the immortal in the nose, the sickening crack of broken cartilage resounding through the air and more of that purplish-red liquid leaking from his nostrils and staining the man's knuckles. Fez hissed as the blood-stained flesh burned, flicking his hand in an effort to get some of the ichor off; Timothy took advantage of the distraction and flipped them over so the human was beneath him. "Big mistake, human," he said smugly. Summoning his cane, he stopped the mortal's struggling with one hand while raising his staff into the air in the other.

Before he could strike the man, however, a sudden pain erupted through the back of his neck and throat, numbing the nerves there completely. Mouth gaping and twitching uncontrollably, he didn't move his head as his eyes flicked down at the object that impaled him through the back of his neck and stuck out through his open mouth. His cane dropped from his hand as he wrapped both palms around the one protruding from his mouth, ignoring the blood that dripped from it; with a slight, muffled, noise of discomfort, he began forcing the cane back into his mouth and back out of his throat. Before he could push it back all of the way, Fez moved his hands up and gripped the cane strongly, ignoring the pain that burned his hands; he pulled it back again, towards him, causing Timothy to grunt in pain. Shoving at the time demon's shoulders roughly, Fez switched their positions once more so that he was above the immortal; the cane had been forced fully into the being's mouth, to the hilt and just as he moved his hands in an attempt to remove it once more, Fez punched in the jaw, forcing the being's teeth to clamp down on the staff suddenly.

Bill walked into view nonchalantly with Timothy's own cane in hand before stepping just in front of the other demon's head and smirking down at him maliciously. "One of the downsides of having a useless sack of meat for a physical form: I can kill it just like that," he bragged. "Maybe next time you'll go for something a bit better… if only there was a next time." In one swift motion, he drove the cane into the other demon's chest: though fabric; flesh; bone; organs; and the ground below him. The time demon died quickly in that moment.

Fez stood up quickly and moved to stand next to the blond. The snowy landscape surrounding them slowly flickered away, back into the familiar forest of Gravity Falls; the time demon's corpse remained in it's place.  
"Well," the demon smiled happily and placed his hands on his hips, "now that that's over with, we can finally go see Pine Tree." Raising a hand to the human without hesitation, he took in the dark liquid that covered his form and sighed; "jeez, don't you know how to take care of yourself? That stuff burns you meat-sacks, you know." With a simple movement of his hand, the demon blood that stained the human's clothes disappeared.  
"I noticed," the human mumbled irritably before starting to walk away.  
"You're welcome," the blond rolled his eyes.

After a few long hours of walking back to the shack, the sun had set and the moon was peeking over the horizon to watch them, lighting their way gently. Fez headed straight to bed after checking on the twins and finding them asleep while Bill opted to wait until the next day before seeing Pine Tree – he had no doubt that the boy was asleep and would be irritable if he was woken up for no good reason.

* * *

 **Timmy the Time Demon BA: art/Time-demon-Bad-annotations-604784937**

 **Even _I_ can't take Timmy seriously with that name. I just picked it cause Tim... time... that rubbish. Don't ask why I put in that weird stuff at the start with Bill and the stranger, cause I don't know. My brain just does what it does. Timmy's outfit was inspired by the steam-punk style of clothing, which I think looks pretty cool (check out the Bad Annotations to see more about that.)**

 **Speaking of which; I was wondering how many of you look at the Bad Annotations when I actually do them? I mean, it would just be kind of pointless to keep doing it if no one actually looks at them, so yeah tell me if you look at them or not (I won't be offended if you don't, I'm just curious.)**

 **This chapter's plan:  
**

* * *

 _ **Time for some demon et demon fun! (And Stan…) So basically, Bill's off making deals in his new bod, like he does and the person he be making a deal with is like; "bruh, I want my ex-girlfriend to love me again. She found out that I'm voting Kanye West for president and dumped me!"**_  
 _ **But Bill is like; "alright fam, I hate to break it to y' but anyone who votes Kanye West for president is doomed. You ain't gon have a love life, a social life, a normal life or even any video game lives. The next time you play The Evil Within, you're gonna have to start all over again. Eat it, Sebastian!"**_  
 _ **Then he gets out his magic Ikea umbrella and disappears in a rainbow-flash! Poof!**_  
 _ **So yeah, he shows up at ye old Shack of Mysterious Do-Da's and is like "Bonjour ma sapin de pomme!" (Sorry I had French at school today…) "On doit aller a- Basically, let's go hunt some monsters." But yeah a bunch of stuff is happening like you'd expect so in the end he ends up going out with Stan (I mean actually go out not dating… just to clarify…) to go find Aerico the demon! (Wrong demon. It doesn't have a name yet. Maybe I'll name it after a celebrity I hate? It's gonna die anyway.)**_  
 _ **So basically, many sarcastic comments later and possibly a serious conversation, they find Mr/Mrs/Ms/Are-Trans-Genders-Ms-Or-Mr?/Who-Cares demon and a bunch of superhero action happens! (Does Bill count as a superhero? He's like the Loki of Disney… a crazy immortal who lies about everything yet everyone loves him!) I want some Bill and Stan bonding but let's face it, that would never happen, haha. Besides, this is just filler! Think of it as the icing on that cake you ate the other day, without it the sponge would be worse than those new SpongeBob episodes.**_  
 _ **Then they all go back and deal with whatever goes on, I'll make it up as I go.**_

 _ **End of chappy xx  
**_

* * *

 **So yeah, there you go. Feel free to request any creatures you want them to mess with, whether it's a real myth/legend or something you made up.**

 **Thanks for reading, go ahead and leave a review if you do/don't care about Bad Annotations ;D  
Also; can I get a ' _woop woop'_ for 100,000+ words? (No? Okay then, I'll just party by myself...)**


	25. Wendigo

**That K rating was kicking and screaming all the while as I dragged it over to the T rating in the previous chapter. Be glad I didn't put flaying in there and some actual cannibalism. I really wanted to. Sorry in advance for any and all mistakes.**

* * *

"Dipper," a voice pulled him from his dreams. Dipper ignored the voice, determined to continue sleeping through it and the constant ringing in his head. "Dipper," the voice called again, a bit more commanding this time.  
"What?" the word left his mouth in a tired slur once he knew that Mabel wouldn't stop pestering him until he answered.  
"Just checking that you're okay," she explained. "It's already half eleven and you're still in bed."  
"Mm… why wouldn't I be okay?" He rolled over in the bed, instantly regretting it as the ringing got louder, his brain pounded against his skull and a bout of dizziness overwhelmed him so much that if he were standing, he knew he'd have fallen over on the spot. Squeezing his eyes shut, he folded half of his pillow over the top of his head, pressing it into his ears to try to recover faster. Maybe he wasn't okay.  
"Well after yesterday..." she trailed off.  
He thought for a short moment before asking: "what happened yesterday?"  
"You don't remember?"  
He shook his head and opened his eyes for the first time that day, peering past the pillow that blocked half of his vision to look at his twin. The movement only worsened his headache; thinking back, he didn't remember much from the day before aside from a quick shower and the marks that adorned his body – he didn't need to remember that to know how much pain he was in, though. Each cut and burn ached.

Mabel frowned at his silent reply before replacing it with a smile, "oh well. C'mon, bro-bro, I promised glitter-rainbow-pancakes and we're going to have them whether you like it or not!" she commanded jokingly, jumping happily in place. Pushing himself up slowly, he forced himself to move despite the horrible mixture of mental and physical pain. "I'm going to start making them while you get ready," the girl grinned and quickly ran from the room, ambling down the stairs at a hurried pace.

The boy spent ten long minutes on only getting changed, finding it difficult to coordinate his own body and constantly losing his balance. After pulling his shoes on and sitting on the edge of his bed for a few minutes, he finally realised that he'd been staring into space without a thought on his mind when a voice snapped him from his trance. "Pine Tree, are you even listening to me?"  
Eyes snapping onto the tall figure before him, Bill stood with his arms crossed and an expectant look on his face. "Huh?" the boy asked dumbly.  
The immortal rolled his eyes and sighed, "I said that you look like you were mauled by the brain cooler freak."  
He frowned, "brain cooler freak?"  
"Don't worry about it, kid. I just wanted to check up on you since yesterday was a total mess and I'm busy today." When the boy only stared at him without answering, he spoke again with a gentle tap on the side of the human's head: "anyone home in that small brain of yours?"  
The brunet only flinched and pulled back, rubbing at his head and muttering a quiet _'_ _ow.'  
_ "Don't be such a drama queen, Pine Tree; I barely touched you."  
"Why are you here?"  
The blond raised an eyebrow at the question; "I just told you."  
"Monster hunting?"  
"Just forget about it. I have something to give you anyway," he smiled proudly and took his hat from its place above his head. Reaching an arm in, he fumbled inside for a minute before pulling out a small, white object that fit in closed fingers.

Placing his hat back in its place, he commanded the boy simply: "hand, now." The human obediently lifted his hand, outstretching his fingers so he could take the small object. Bill dropped the item into Dipper's hand with a confident smile, watching as the thirteen-year-old didn't move, only studied it intently.  
"Are these teeth?" Dipper then asked.  
"Sure are," the other confirmed. "In fact, they're kids' teeth, each one is one of the first grown tooth from a different meat-bag. Don't worry, I got all of the blood off for you. Now open it up."  
The boy then noticed that they weren't simply teeth, but teeth somehow moulded together to form a small box. Hesitantly removing the lid, his eyebrows furrowed at the sight; a pink, fleshy material made up a small cushion that held a white, circular object in place. "A ring?" he asked.  
"Yup! The pink stuff is the gums of an old man, and that ring is carved from the bone of his wife's right foot."

Unexpectedly to both of them, instead of showing any kind of disgust or disapproval for the odd gift, Dipper only threw his head back as a laugh bubbled from his chest uncontrollably. "Is this-" he paused as he continued to laugh, finding it difficult to get each word out, "are you-"  
Bill only grinned at the human's reaction, "finally, something you actually like!"  
The human only laughed harder, "a ring- are you..." he held his breath to stifle his laughter and waited for it to die down, placing a hand behind him to lean on his bed so he didn't fall forward from the dizzying ringing in his ears. "Is this some weird way of trying to ask me to marry you or something?"  
The immortal only frowned, "no, why would I ever do that? What a ridiculous idea, completely pointless."  
More quiet giggles bubbled up from Dipper's chest but he didn't respond to the demon's words otherwise.  
"I just found out that you meat sacks give rings and jewellery as gifts to people you like and- whoa, jeez kid. Why are you crying?"  
The brunet lifted a hand to his cheeks to find them wet, trails of tears running down his face – despite the salty tears that fell from his eyes, his mouth was still curled up in a large grin.  
"C'mere, kid," the demon muttered and pulled the boy up by his arm; the human stumbled forward before taking a moment to steady himself and push away the dizziness that loomed in his head.

The demon placed a hand on the other's forehead, focusing intently.  
"What are you doing?" Dipper asked unsurely.  
"Shut up, I'm checking something," the other commanded bluntly. After a short few moments in silence, the demon finally scoffed and looked into the human's eyes, "just what the heck did you do last summer?"  
"Last summer?" his brows furrowed in confusion; "why?"  
"The curse from yesterday, you were stuck reliving last summer, right? Well all damage from that dream was inflicted on your physical body, too. You have a concussion." When Dipper didn't respond, he simply told him: "I'll fix it, hold on." Winding a trail of gold around the human's form, each cut, bruise, burn, and other wounds were healed over quickly. After a moment, the boy only stood in place, and Bill spoke, pulling his magic away from the human; "better?"

Brows furrowing, his eyes flicked around for a moment, mouth opening and closing at a loss for words. Brown orbs finally settled on the object still in hand. With a sudden yelp, he dropped it and recoiled quickly, "ugh! What the heck, why am I still holding that?!"  
Bill laughed, "there's the Pine Tree we all know and want dead," he cheered.  
"Dead?!" he scowled at the demon.  
"Yup! Pretty sure more people have tried to kill you than they have help you. But don't worry about that, you know I'd never let anyone lay a finger on you."  
"How comforting," he muttered quietly.  
With a quick pat on the head, the demon said his farewells before disappearing in a golden flash.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Dipper laughed at the joke that Wendy told. After Bill had left, he and Mabel had decided to hang out in the gift shop for a while with Soos and Wendy while the older two worked.  
"So I was all like; 'no man, why don't _you_ chill," Wendy said.  
"Then what happened?" Mabel asked.

Before the red-head could reply, there was a muffled call from the living room of the shack: "ki's!"  
"Great Uncle Ford is calling us, we should go see what he wants," Dipper said.  
The twins left and quickly headed to the living room and stopped in the doorway. "Hey, Great Uncle Ford," Mabel greeted. Said man was in the room, his back turned to them.  
"Ah, goo' you're here," he said, although it sounded muffled like his tongue was being held in place. Turning around to face them, Mabel was trying to stifle her laughter at the sight while Dipper only gaped dumbly. Their Great Uncle's tongue was sticking out of his mouth limply, a solid, square piece of ice stuck to it.  
"Why is there a piece of ice stuck to your tongue?" the boy asked cluelessly.  
Ford flushed a bright red in embarrassment at the question, turning his head away to avoid their gaze. "I nee' your hel' to get i' off," he admitted.  
"Why don't you just wait for it to melt?" Mabel laughed.  
His face only grew redder at the question; "It' magic ice, it doesn' melt."  
"Why was you licking it in the first place?"  
"Tha's not importan' right now. In the fores' there's a magic'l item tha' can melt it. I nee' you to go ge' it for me, I have a map wi' its location o' fo' you to use." He pulled a rolled up piece of parchment from his pocket and held it out; Dipper took it and unfurled it, reading it quickly.  
"How are we meant to know what it looks like?" he asked.  
"Don' worry, you'll kno'."  
The twins shared a glance before shrugging, "alright."

Heading back into the gift shop, the two were about to leave when Soos interrupted them: "hey, where you two dudes going?"  
Mabel quickly explained what had happened to Soos and Wendy and they all had to force themselves not to laugh at the thought of Ford in that situation.  
"So now we're going to go find the item that he wanted," Dipper explained, holding up the map for them to see.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

"Hey, dude," Soos said as they walked through the forest. "Did Mr Pines tell you what we're looking for?"  
"No," Dipper replied, "he just said that we'd know it when we see it."  
"Seriously?" Wendy raised an eyebrow, "then how are we meant to now if it's the right one? We could be going all this way and get the wrong thing, then we'd have to do it all over again."  
"Great Uncle Ford is usually right about this sort of thing, though; if he thought we'd have trouble finding it he'd have told us what it looks like or maybe even come with us."  
Mabel then asked: "I wonder why didn't he come with us anyway?"  
The boy shrugged and kept his gaze forward, refusing to look at the others. "Maybe he's busy finding more of those gems that he wrote about to get rid of Bill," he muttered sarcastically. "Who knows, maybe we're going to get it for him and he was just lying so I wouldn't suspect anything," he quickened his pace, intent on getting the day over with.  
"Dipper," Mabel moved faster to walk next to her twin, "you know that's not what he's doing." Placing a reassuring hand on her brother's shoulder, she was surprised when he jerked back, knocking her hand away with the sharp movement.  
"Yeah right," he bit back with a sharp glare, "you lied about it, too, Mabel. Give me one good reason why I should believe anything you say anymore."  
"B-because," she stuttered in desperation to defend herself, "I'm your twin, bro-bro, you have to believe me."  
"Twins," he echoed and gave a sarcastic bark of laughter, "didn't stop you from lying to me, though," he focused his gaze back on their path as they walked.  
Nobody said anything for a long time, simply walking through the thick cloud of tension.

"So," Soos coughed after half an hour of the deafening silence, "how much further till we get there?"  
The two girls looked at Dipper expectantly as he pulled out the map, studying it as he walked. He suddenly paused in his steps, causing his twin to bump into him but he paid no mind as he continued to examine the parchment; "that depends how fast you can climb," he finally replied. Rolling up the map again, he pointed to the left before instructing: "we need to go that way. There's an old well that we need to go down, it should be down there."  
Without further word, the group headed in the direction of the well, walking for another half an hour before finally coming to a river.

The river ran across the edge of a clearing, cutting off their path into the expanse of grass; from where they were, they could see an old brick well standing in the middle of the clearing, a wooden roof standing on stilts over it and a sign hanging from the roof, but its words were illegible at such a distance. "Is that the well?" Wendy asked.  
Dipper nodded, "yeah. I don't know how we're going to get across though, the river is too big to jump over even with a running start..." The river was, indeed, a few metres wide, much too big for any of the four to leap over.  
"Dudes, could we swim through it?" Soos suggested, stepping up and kneeling down, about to reach a hand into the water when the limb was pulled away by the younger boy.  
"I wouldn't do that, man," the brunet said. "The eels in that river don't look too nice," he pointed at the river and the others looked, too. In the water was a cluster of long, serpent-like, black figures – with a head in place of its tail, each two-headed fish seemed to grin mockingly at them with deadly, pointed teeth.  
"Well how else can we get over?" his sister asked. "Could we try going further that way and see if we can find a bridge or something?"  
The boy only shrugged in reply, watching the fish in the river intently.

"We could try building a bridge," Wendy suggested. "I could use my axe to cut down one of these trees and we could use that to get across."  
"That could work," Dipper agreed while Soos and Mabel mumbled their agreement, too.  
Moving behind a nearby tree, she warned the others to move back and they did as she got the weapon from its place on her belt. Bringing the axe back in her hands, she snapped her arms back again and struck the thick wood of the plant with the weapon – however, much to the girl's shock, the blade bounced back off. "What the?" the red-head's brows furrowed in confusion, the impact from hitting the tree vibrating through her arms; she ignored the shaky feeling as she struck it again and again, but nothing happened. The tree was left in pristine condition, not a scratch or a dent on it. The same couldn't be said for the axe. The metal blade was bent out of shape, now forming a ninety degree angle with the shape it was bent into. "What the heck, man," she complained.  
Mabel called from where she stood: "Wendy, what's wrong?"  
"I don't know!" she called back as she examined the blade of her weapon; "my axe isn't leaving a mark on this thing!"

The three moved over quickly to examine the situation, shocked as Wendy showed them her now broken axe. "How am I gonna explain this to my old man?" she complained, placing the weapon back in its place on her belt.  
"Would it work for any of these other trees?" Dipper asked.  
"I don't know man, but my axe is too busted to try. Sorry."  
The boy sighed, "it's fine. But now what? There's no other way to get across the river and I doubt this tree is just going to fall over if we ask it: ' _hey Mr tree, please could you go make us a bridge over the river? Thanks!'_ "

Suddenly, the ground beneath their feet began to shift and rumble, forcing each of them to latch onto a nearby tree to stay standing. "What's going on?" Mabel called to the others over the loud rumbling.  
"I don't know," Dipper called back.  
"Hey, look!" Soos pointed to the river and the other three followed his gaze.  
Growing from the steep river bank were thick, muddy roots – they coiled around each other, stretching and growing and moulding together as they reached across to the other side of the river. The group watched in awe as the roots dug through the other side of the river bank, forming a steady bridge for them to cross.  
"Whoa," the youngest girl breathed.  
"Huh," Soos said, standing up on his own feet now that the ground had stopped rumbling; "guess you really _did_ just have to ask."  
"Well what are we waiting for?" Wendy stepped forward, "let's go."  
"Is it steady enough to hold us?" Mabel pondered.  
"One way to find out," Dipper shrugged and placed one foot on the bridge, putting most of his weight on it to test its strength; when it held, he made his way over to the other side of the river easily. Turning around, he gestured to the others that it was safe and they soon followed, making it to the other side of the river – the eels in the water watched their every movement, swimming as close to the edge as they could without having to jump out of the stream.

"Alright!" Mabel cheered, "now we can go get that magical thingy for Great Uncle Ford!" she ran over to the well and the rest of the group followed quickly, standing by it and reading the sign.  
Wendy snorted at the writing painted on it: " _ye old well, drinketh the cursed waters at thy own risketh,'_ who wrote this?"  
"Boop!" Mabel placed a heart shaped sticker on the sign happily and laughed, "I don't know, but whoever it was needs to learn how to make this look prettier."  
"Okay," Dipper pulled out his map and scanned it briefly before putting it away again, "this is the right well – now all we need is to go down it somehow and find what Great Uncle Ford wanted."  
"But what's down there?" Wendy asked, peering over the edge and down into the black, seemingly bottomless pit.  
The boy shrugged, "water maybe? Or maybe it's just nothing and we'll find it down there by itself… but how can we get down there?"  
"We could try just jumping," Soos suggested.  
"Let's find magical fairies and get them to fly us down there!" Mabel announced, waving her hands in an over-exaggerated gesture.  
"I'll use my axe to- oh wait..." Wendy trailed off.  
"Hold on a minute," the boy pulled out a small square of paper from his pocket which he liked to think of as something that could be used in an emergency… he'd never had to use it before but there was always the odd chance, and he reasoned that he couldn't risk leaving it behind. Unfolding it took a few seconds and when he finally did, the parchment was nearly the same length as Wendy's height, blank on both sides; pulling a pen from his pocket, he clicked the end of it before addressing the rest of the group: "okay, ideas."

Ten minutes later, both sides of the paper were filled with the boy's writing as he paced back and forth, muttering to himself. The rest of the group were sitting down and leaning against the brick wall that was the well boredly – Soos fiddled with the grass, Wendy with her hat and Mabel with her hair as they all waited for the boy to finish. They had each tried to persuade the boy that he didn't need to go to such lengths to think of an idea but, being Dipper, he had insisted that a plan was necessary or else anything could go wrong. "Alright," the boy finally sighed, grabbing the rest of the group's attention. "I've gone through every possibility there is and have come up with a different plan for each scenario. First on the list: flying space-monkeys with tazers. We can-"  
"Yo, Dipper," Wendy interrupted, "cool it. Why don't we just drop a rock or something down there so that we can know how deep it is first?"  
"Don't worry, I already thought of that for step seventy-eight," he held up the list and pointed to a piece of writing scrawled halfway down the page.

Rolling her eyes, the red-head picked up a nearby stone and dropped it into the well, listening for a few seconds until she heard a quiet _'plop'_ echo from the bottom. "There's some water down there but it's pretty shallow," she informed the others.  
"How can you tell?" Mabel asked.  
"If it was deeper the noise would have been louder and if there wasn't any water at all it would have made a different noise."  
"Whoa, when did you find out all of this stuff?"  
"My dad trains me and my brothers for junk like this instead of celebrating Easter."  
"Cool," the brunette gushed. "But how do we get down there?" Leaning her hands on the edge of the well, she recoiled them and grimaced in disgust as her hands were coated in a slimy, thick substance. "Gross" she muttered and wiped the residue on her skirt.  
"What about this?" Soos asked and held up a rope.  
"Where did you get that?" Dipper asked.  
"I always carry it with me just in case," the man shrugged.  
"Okay~? We need something secure to tie it to so we can climb down," he scanned the area in search of something steady. "Do you think one of these trees could work? Is the rope long enough?" "Sure it is," the handyman made his way to a nearby tree and tied one end of the rope around the trunk tightly, pulling on it with all of his strength to make sure it wouldn't come loose. Once he was sure that it wouldn't, he dropped the other end down the well.

The group shared uneasy glances with one another, "so… who's going first?" Mabel asked unsurely.  
"I will," Wendy announced. Climbing over the edge of the well, she looked down unsurely before asking; "do any of you have a flash light so I can see when I get down there?" Dipper reached into his backpack and pulled his new torch out before handing it to the older teen and telling her to be careful. She nodded and clung tightly to the rope as she began to descend but stopped just before her head faded into the darkness; "I don't know if you guys will be able to hear me too well once I'm down there, just in case, I'll flick the flash light on and off three times to let you know if it's safe, okay?" When the other three agreed, she resumed her descent into darkness.

Fifteen tense minutes went by where the trio simply stared into the well; it was so deep that they could only see a small dot of light at the bottom. Dipper found that – despite his inability to care for his friend as much as he wanted to – he was the one who wanted to – had to ask: "do you think she's okay?"  
Neither his twin nor his friend answered the question, but he knew that they feared for the red-head's life much more than he did. After another minute, Mabel pointed down the well and commanded that they look; the two watched as the dot of light in the bottom of the well flashed off then on again, and then two more times: off and on, off and on. "Looks like it's safe to go down," the girl concluded.

They each climbed down the rope one by one, safely reaching the bottom. Dipper whistled as he finally set foot in the shallow water at the bottom of the well, admiring the sight before him; "this is a lot bigger than I expected," he admitted. Before them was a large tunnel than went on further than the eye could see, more caves tunnelling from the main one on either side to form an enormous maze that they could easily become lost in.  
"How do we find Mr Pines' thing-ma-jig?" Soos asked as he, too, scanned the area.  
"Guess we'll just have to look around," the boy shrugged.

They searched the tunnels for a few minutes before Soos asked unsurely: "uh, dudes? Are you sure this is a good idea? I'm pretty sure that there's something down here..."  
"Don't worry man," Dipper assured, "nothing is there. Nothing could live down here anyway, there's nothing to eat or drink except mud."  
"I don't know, Dip-dop," Mabel moved to stand closer to her twin, "I think Soos might be right. I feel like something is watching us."  
The boy only rolled his eyes and moved away to stand on the other side of Soos without a reply for his sister.  
"Hey," Wendy suddenly interrupted, pointing the torch forward to illuminate further down the tunnel, "check it out, do you think that's what we need to get for Ford?"

At the end of the tunnel was a cluster of flowers, each one glowing a bright, vibrant orange that cast graceful shadows on the cave walls and floor.  
"Yeah, I think it is," Dipper confirmed and rushed forward, picking a flower from its place and studying it. "I wonder how they grow down here without any sun light," he pondered as he picked a few more and carefully put them into his pocket.  
"Come on, man, hurry up so we can get out of here already," Wendy hurried, eyes shifting around the area. "I'm starting to think that Soos and Mabel might be right about something following us.  
The boy stood straight and turned around to face the trio, about to reply when he stopped in his tracks.  
"Yeah, I think so too," he admitted and pointed behind them.

The trio turned around and gasped at the sight: a hideous creature with ashen skin that wrapped tightly around thin bones; a hunched back that made the figure seem smaller as its spine poked through the paper-thin layer of flesh on its back and bony hands curled into themselves, nails long and broken. Its head seemed too big for it to be able carry and too thin to be healthy; cheeks were hollowed out and beady eyes were sunken into deep sockets, staring at the group. Muttering inaudibly to itself, eyes scanned the group for a moment.  
"Dude," Soos chirped, "it looks kinda like that thing from those The Hobbit movies."  
"What is it?" Mabel asked as the trio stepped back to stand next to Dipper while the humanoid creature moved forward on bony feet.

The boy pulled his journal from his vest pocket and flipped through the pages, skimming over each one until he was finally met with a page that had a drawing similar to the figure before them. "A wendigo," he read aloud, "these creatures were once humans but-"  
"Dude," Wendy interrupted, "can't you just tell us the _important_ bits?"  
Rolling his eyes, he skimmed the pages before paraphrasing it to his friends: "it used to be human but became a wendigo when it ate another person. Basically, each time you perform cannibalism, you apparently give up a little bit of your soul, hungry spirits then possess your body and eat whatever they can, but the curse doesn't allow them to be full so they're always hungry."  
"So it possesses people who don't have a soul?" Mabel asked.  
"Yeah, or if you don't have all of your soul."  
"Then what about you? You gave your soul to _Bill."  
_ "But I haven't actually eaten anyone so I'll be fine… I think."  
"Well," Wendy said sarcastically, "isn't that great? Any way we can make it _not_ want to eat us?"  
"Uh… no…? They're driven by their starvation so the best we can do is try to run away from it."

A hiss was released through sharp, jagged teeth that looked like glass shards and what sounded like words were uttered from the wendigo before them: "yrgnuh os m'i… em deef."  
"What's it saying?" Mabel asked.  
"I don't know, it sounds like gibberish," her brother replied.  
Wendy pulled her axe from its place on her belt and held it up threateningly, "hey!" she stepped closer to the creature and glared at it, causing it to shrink back in fear. "My axe might be broken but you bet I can still kick your butt with it, now move out of the way!"  
The creatures eyes flicked over the group before landing on Dipper, another hiss of words falling through broken teeth: "luos on evah uoy. Em deef, yrgnuh m'i." Wendy glared at it again when it stepped forward, striking fear through the wendigo and forcing it to move back again wearily.

No one in the group expected for the creature to simply flop limply to the floor, laying on its stomach, pupilless eyes staring up at the group.  
"Dude, what happened?" Soos asked unsurely.  
"Do you think it… died?" Mabel asked quietly.  
"It could just be playing dead," Wendy said, studying it for any signs of movement. However, she stumbled back when an ominous crimson mist crept from the creature's nose, dribbling out slowly and seeming to pool around its head. "What the heck is that?"  
"I don't know," it was Dipper who replied, "it didn't say anything in the journal about a red fog."  
"Look, guys, we have the flowers that Mr Pines wanted now let's go," Soos said worriedly, "this place is creeping me out big time."  
"Soos is right," Wendy agreed, "let's just go before anything else shows up and actually decides to eat us." The teen ran past the wendigo's body, gesturing the other three to follow.  
Soos went first and then Mabel while Dipper stayed behind them. However, as the thirteen-year-old boy stepped past the creature's form, he yelped in shock when something cold and clammy wrapped around his ankle, pulling him over. Landing on his stomach, the air was knocked from his lungs and he turned over quickly to see the wendigo's hand clinging tightly to his leg, he shook the appendage desperately in an attempt to release himself from it, but it refused to let go.

Mabel stopped once she heard her brother's yelp, turning to look at her brother and gasping at the sight. He sat on the floor, desperately shaking his leg to get rid of the wendigo's hand that clung to him. Other than its vice-like grip, it made no other move. She and Wendy ran forward and wrapped their hands around each of the boy's upper arms, dragging him back away from the creature – its limp figure was pulled along for a moment before finally dropping to the floor again as Dipper started coughing heavily, panting for air. The two girls pulled him to his feet so they could continue to run, only for him to gasp for more air and cough out: "Wendy," he doubled over, head hanging down as he spluttered. "That red mist-" he cut himself off with more violent hacking, covering his mouth with his hand.  
"Dip-dop, come on," his twin pleaded desperately, "we have to go."  
He finally stopped coughing after a few seconds but made no move to stand straight or run again, instead standing there with his hands on his knees and head hanging low.  
"Dipper?" Soos asked, "you alright dude?"

A low rumble echoed through the tunnels and the girls looked at the handyman. "Soos? Was that your stomach?" Wendy asked wearily.  
"Nuh-uh, dude."  
"It was mine," the trio looked at the owner of the voice: Dipper. He straightened to look at them, eyes slowly roaming over their forms; "I'm really hungry," he admitted, placing a hand on his stomach, " _really, really hungry."_

The boy's mind was clouded by the sudden hunger than threatened to consume him, his mouth salivating excessively – he couldn't bring himself to care about the drool that dribbled from his mouth, too focused on the empty pit that was his stomach. He could eat just about anything at that moment: rocks; mud; plants; anything. And yet, there was a sickening feeling overwhelming his entire being that craved meat, to sink his teeth, his hands and everything he was into the satisfying burst of flavour he knew he could get from it.  
"Come on," Mabel coaxed, "once we get back to the shack you can eat."  
He mulled over it in his mind, the shack was just _so_ far away, could he really wait that long? Surely he would starve to death if he was forced to wait all of that time, and why should he go all that way when there was a perfectly good meal standing right before him?

A small portion of his mind scolded him for thinking such gruesome, horrific thoughts about his own friends and yet he found the offer too tempting and inviting that he couldn't resist thinking about what it would be like to finally sink his teeth into the flesh of his friends and family. "But the shack is so far away," he complained.  
"Dipper," Wendy said, "we need to go before that wendigo gets up or something worse comes, now come on!"  
His eyes flicked to the red-head and he listened as another growl from his stomach urged him to simply lunge at the girl and satisfy his hunger. "But I'm hungry now… _yrgnuh os_." Something seemed to click in his own mind as he blinked, watching the three intently.  
Mabel and Soos gasped while Wendy stepped back, lifting her axe again in warning; "Dipper," Mabel spoke quietly, "your eyes."  
"Uh, dudes," Soos said, "I think we should get going now..."

"Come on, let's go," Wendy commanded and latched a hand around Mabel's wrist, tugging the girl along.  
"Mabel!" Dipper called after his twin desperately, "don't leave me like this."  
"Wait, Wendy, Soos, we have to do something!" his sister pleaded as she was pulled along.  
Another rumble from his stomach finally convinced him to take a step forward, and then another, and then another – he was soon running after his friends, gaining on them quickly – all of the adventuring and running from murderous monsters was apparently worth it.  
"Which way is the way out?" Soos called to his friends as he ran.  
Dipper chuckled; if his friends were lost, all the better. It meant he could get to them easier and gnaw on their bloodied bones faster. "Left!" he shouted to the man, lying in hopes of sending them the wrong way.  
"Go right!" Wendy instructed to the man in front of her, "don't listen to anything Dipper says!"

The handyman did as the red-head instructed, turning right to run down another long tunnel.  
"Soos~" Dipper called out, "why aren't you listening to me?" he pushed himself to move faster, desperate to catch at least one of them. " _em ot netsil,"_ he commanded darkly, words inhuman. Finally, his sister was within reach, so close that he could almost feel the sweet taste of blood dancing along his lips; he craved it so deeply with his entire being, his jaw aching in anticipation of what was to come. All he had to do was reach out…  
"I see the way out!" Soos announced.  
...And she was his.  
"Quick, climb up!" Wendy instructed.  
He jumped forward, pushing his entire weight from the floor quickly in a heavy tackle, wrapping arms around his twin's waist as he dragged her down. "Mabel!" the older two called back when the girl was pinned beneath her brother, a hungry, sadistic grin pulling at saliva-coated lips.

"Stupid wendigo, let my brother go!" Mabel demanded, desperately thrashing around in an attempt to wriggle out from beneath him.  
"Y _rgnuh os m'i tub,"_ he ground out, drool dripping from his mouth and onto his chin as he held her in place, fingers digging into her shoulders.  
Suddenly, the air was knocked out of him as his body was shoved harshly to the side, colliding with the bricks that made up the walls near the exit of the tunnels. "Mabel run!" Wendy commanded as she stood in front of the boy, blocking his pursuit on his sister. The girl didn't hesitate to do as she was told, latching onto Soos' back when he offered and began to climb out of the well.  
Dipper shifted his focus onto the girl in front of him, his mind wandering to a place full of gruesome images and sickening thoughts.  
"Sorry man," Wendy said, "but you're not eating anyone today," she held up the broken axe in a protective stance, ready to use it as best she could to defend herself.  
"But I'm hungry," he complained. It occurred to him that that was the only line of thought running through his head besides the bloodied fantasies.  
"Dude, you ate tacos for lunch, remember?"  
"But it feels like it's been years since I last ate," a rumble from his stomach emphasised his point. Lunging for her, he tackled her to the ground before she could respond, wrestling with her for a moment – he easily lost and was pushed to the floor by the red-head, the bent blade of her axe was pushed against his throat; despite being harmless, the threat still stood on its own. "You know how pointless this is?" he glared at her, "just let me up and I promise I'll kill you before I eat you… At least then you won't have to feel it as I tear your flesh from your bones." He laughed bitterly, "remember when I gave my heart to you last summer? Well I'm betting _your_ heart'll taste pretty good right now. Come on, man, you gotta agree."  
"Dude, chill," she glared back at him. He continued to ramble about horrific things she didn't want to understand or know about in the slightest so she pushed her hand over his mouth in an attempt to quieten him. She recoiled her hand quickly, however, when something thick and wet ran along her palm slowly; "ugh, gross!"

The brunet took the opportunity to kick her off of him with his feet, knocking the air from her lungs. Scrambling to his feet quickly, he left the girl in favour of chasing after the other two that had left, running to the cave entrance. Before the other could stand and follow him, he began to climb up the rope; in the distance, he could see the shadows of Soos and Mabel contrasting against the light of day – he heard Wendy shouting after him as she, too, started to climb the rope. Looking down, she was gaining on him. Fast. Unfazed by her speed, he dug his fingers into the loose bricks of the well's wall, climbing up the side much faster than before, a smile gracing his lips as he thought of the taste of blood and skin, the feeling of it against his tongue and as it slid down his throat; the thought sent pleasant shivers down his spine and he willed himself to move faster.

"Dipper!" Wendy shouted after him again. "Soos, Mabel! Be careful, he's coming!" she yelled to her friends.  
Once Dipper finally reached the top, he jumped down onto the soft grass, wiping his now broken nails on his shorts to get rid of the slimy residue from the wall and the blood that had leaked from small cuts. Scanning the expanse of the clearing, he searched for the duo he had followed only to find the space void of them. "Mabel," he called innocently. " _Lebam_ ," he spoke again, voice inhuman; "please don't leave me like this," he pleaded. " _Namuh uoy sekam that lla ruoved dna bmil morf bmil uoy pir ot tnaw I hcum woh aedi on evah ouy,"_ each syllable that fell from his lips dripped with dark intentions and a burning hunger that he couldn't call his own yet so desperately wanted to quell. Moving forward, he turned slowly in place to scan the rest of the clearing in search for the two. "Come on," he called, "you're not seriously going to leave Wendy here with me, are you?"  
"We both know I could take you any day, man," Wendy's voice suddenly spoke from behind him. As he spun on his heels to face the older teen, something hard impacted with the side of his head, knocking him over instantly. Head pounding, his vision quickly blackened into a quiet, empty void.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Dipper's eyes fluttered open and he found himself looking down at his own lap. Peering around the room, he took in the table, chairs, fridge, cooker – he was in the familiar kitchen of the Mystery Shack. Head pounding, he groaned and tried to reach up to rub at the aching spot only to realise that his arms were bound; he was sat in one of the chairs, rope tying him to it so tightly that he had no chance of escaping on his own. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, releasing a content sigh as another deliciously vulgar scent invaded his nostrils.  
"Good to see you're finally awake," someone spoke.  
Moving his head to face the man sitting at the table – a news paper in hand as he read it idly – the brunet replied: "Grunkle Stan. Are you..." his eyes flicked to the cooker as the sweet smell of meat danced in the air, "cooking something?"  
"Hello to you, too. And how did you guess?" the man responded sarcastically.  
"Em _deef,_ " the words spilled from his lips quickly as he pulled against the ropes binding him, "I'm hungry."  
"I guessed by the way you've been drooling all over the floor. Don't worry, point dexter said the whole wendigo thing should go away after a couple more hours, as long as you don't actually go and eat somebody. I'm here to make sure you don't get out and do just that."  
" _Sdnib eht tuc,_ _sdnib eht tuc,"_ he demanded, repeating the phrase over and over like a mantra.  
"Kid, you know we can't understand you when you talk like that, right?"  
"Meht tuc, meht tuc!" he snarled. "Evah tonnac I hcihw taht ot esolc os em evah ot sa hcum os em tnuat uoy tsum yhw?"  
"Keep struggling like that and I'm gonna have to knock you out again," Stan warned, finally looking up over the news paper in his hand at the brunet. "You know how much you worried everyone?"  
Guilt numbed that small, still sane part of his mind in the back of his brain, making him pause in his demands for only a second. His friends and family had worried for him because he had tried to eat them.  
"I don't care," he soon replied, the words a blatant lie to both himself and his Great Uncle. "Come on Grunkle Stan, why can't you just let me go?" he pleaded. "I was just going to go see Mabel and maybe play some mini-golf or something with her," he lied; " _esool em tuc."  
_ Stan didn't say another word, instead standing up and carrying a baseball bat in hand. "This is going to hurt. Sorry," the man apologised half-heartedly before a sudden pain rippled through the teen's head, his vision blackening out once more.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

"Is he still unconscious?" a voice asked.  
"Well he did wake up but he started spouting a bunch of crazy stuff so I just knocked him out again," someone else replied.  
"Stanley!" the other scolded, "you didn't hit him with that bat?! Do you know how danger-"  
"Yeah, yeah, I get the idea, y' nerd. Don't worry, he'll be fine."  
There was a loud sigh. "Well it's been a twenty four hours by now, the curse should have worn off." The statement was followed by two sets of footsteps that stopped just in front of him; "Dipper?"

Lifting his aching head, he was greeted by the sight of the older twins standing before him, watching him carefully.  
"How do you feel?" Ford asked.  
"Like I need to get a helmet or something, I just keep hitting my head lately," he ground out through his pounding headache.  
"You still trying to eat everyone?" Stan asked.  
"Ugh, no," the brunet's face contorted into an expression of disgust, "gross. There's no way I want to eat someone. What's the time?"  
"Twenty past five in the afternoon, you've been out cold since yesterday."  
"Can you untie me now?"  
"You sure you won't try and take a chunk out of us once we do?" Stan raised an eyebrow but moved behind his chair to get him loose.  
"Pretty sure. So, uh, do you know where Mabel is? I really should apologise for… you know, trying to eat her and stuff."  
"Upstairs in the attic, far as I know."

He quickly thanked the two before heading upstairs, to his and Mabel's shared room. "Mabel?" he knocked on the door before cracking it open slightly; "can I come in?" Once his sister gave him the go ahead, he walked into the room to see the girl on her bed, drawing something. "What're you drawing?" walking over to her bed, he laid down next to her to admire her art: a drawing of Waddles and Gompers on a ship, Gompers standing at the bow, hooves spread, and Waddles behind him with stubby hooves wrapped around the goat. "The Titanic?" he laughed.  
"Yup," she laughed too before imitating a goat's voice: " _I'm flying, Waddles!"  
_ The two laughed again and sat in a companionable silence for a short few moments before the boy finally spoke: "so uh… sorry."  
"Don't worry, bro-bro," she smiled, "I mean it's not like that's the first time something has tried to eat me."  
"It's not just that. I'm sorry for being so mean lately and ignoring you and everything; I was stupid for ever thinking that I couldn't trust you and that you didn't trust me. I didn't really think about it too much until Grunkle Stan said everyone was really worried earlier."  
"Don't worry about it, Dippin' dots," she assured and spread her arms; "awkward sibling hug?"  
"Awkward sibling hug," he agreed and they embraced each other whole-heartedly before uttering an awkward: "pat, pat," as they did the action.

"So what happened with Great Uncle Ford?" he pulled away from the hug to talk to her, "did he tell you how he got a lump of ice stuck to his tongue?"  
She laughed, "oh yeah, he actually did – turns out that he was drinking some coffee but it was too hot, so he grabbed the first thing he could find to cool it down. Turns out it was a magical ice cube." The two laughed, continuing to chat idly for the rest of the evening, playing mini-golf and having various other friendly competitions until they finally went to bed.

* * *

 **Wendigo on Wikipedia: wiki/Wendigo  
Wendigo BA: (Not sure if I'll actually do one, if I do the link will be at the start of the next chapter.)**

 **In case anyone didn't notice, all of the weird stuff said by the Wendigo and Wendigo-Dipper is backwards, so if you read it backwards you'll know what's actually being said.**

 **I'm tempted to do a drawing of Wendigo Dipper just because psychopathic drawings are fun to do. Speaking of which - I am now taking art requests! Feel free to PM me or leave a review if you want me to do a drawing for you, I won't charge you anything and it doesn't have to just be Gravity Falls. I'll draw anything as long as I'm bored enough (and as long as it's not too... let's just saw M rated.) Although I have to say, don't expect anything to glorious from me, I'm not the best artist around. So yeah, feel free to ask about that.**

 **Okay, sudden rant before I forget… do y'all remember S1E15 of the series 'The Deep End' at the pool? And that child who was stuck in the drain thingy? At the end it showed him in there all through the year… Do you think he was _still_ under there during Weirdmageddon? I like to think that he was. I have a feeling that one of those flying eyeballs would show up and turn the boy into a stone statue then teleport him away, kinda but he has to break the tiling and the pool and stuff to get him out so yeah, he does. But then Mr Poolcheck would show up like: "DON'T MESS WITH MA POOL!" and beat up the flying eyeball. I would be totally cool with it if that happened in the series. **

**Also; if anyone is curious about the first bit with Dipper and Bill, (so glad I got another gift in there, it's been too long since that happened) well apparently, when people have a concussion they can react inappropriately to some things, like laughing when you're given a really gross present or crying when someone tells a funny joke... Fun, fun, fun! Yeah go Google it if you're curious about that sort of thing?  
I _already_ have the ending planned in my mind for this fic, and although I'm not going to reveal anything about it, I will say that there will probably be a sequel! Unless you guys don't like it as much by the time it's finished, in which case I'll just leave it on a cliff hanger because yolo, I'm crueler than Alex Hirsch. **

**Now this chapter's plan:  
**

* * *

 _ **Now, the previous chapter was in Bill's perspective (what with the names and all) so now we're back to normal! Or as normal as can be with this weird fic about weird Gravity Falls. So anyways, everyone is up and stuff and let's just quickly deal with the mess from the previous chapter…  
**_

 _ **Okay! So that's out of the way, Bill is off doing God knows what (I'll think of something) and we can now have some squad fun! Dippy, Maybelle, Zeus and Wenday are in the gift shop doing whatever when Ford suddenly shouts from somewhere: "Gravity Squad! Assemble!" They all run in and Fordsy – AKA Captain America – is all like: "okay, fam. This is very important. I got my tongue stuck on this ice cube and now I can't get it off."**_  
 _ **But one of them is like; "bro, just wait for it to melt."**_  
 _ **But it turns out that, just like Soos' infinite pizza, it is infinite ice. Oops. Why was Ford licking an ice cube, you ask? Well, at first I was just joking and wasn't actually going to put that in the story… but now I'm going to because I really want to. I'll think of something believable when I write it for why he was doing that, though! (Maybe he burnt his tongue on something and was using it to cool it down? But it turns out it was some weird ice that he had around or that Stan was using for the gift shop? Ding ding ding~ Ford is the Mystery Shack's next attraction!)**_  
 _ **Anyways, the squad goes out to go find whatever the hell it was that Sixer wanted to get the strange ice cube off of his tongue and at some point they come across le wendigo. So Dippy looks in le journal and is like "blah blah blah, cannibals, something about souls, blah blah and more blah."**_  
 _ **So the wendigo is then like; "get rekt, m8."**_  
 _ **And Wendy is like: "I ain't your m8, pal."**_  
 _ **Wendigo is like: "I ain't your pal, buddy."**_  
 _ **"I ain't your buddy, friend."**_  
 _ **"I aint your friend, guy."**_  
 _ **"I aint your guy, pal."**_  
 _ **"I aint your- Jk, let's get on with this plan already." So yeah stuff goes down which you already read and Dipper becomes a wendigo or whatever… that should be fun to write.**_  
 _ **Blah blah blah, more stuff happens that you already know about but I haven't planned yet so I'm just gonna wing it~**_  
 _ **Basically, they save Dipper and get Fordsy's magical ice cube un-freezer-thingy.**_

 _ **End of chapstix xx**_

* * *

 **So yeah, there you go. And wow, this chapter was a hell of a lot longer than I thought it would be and I have no idea why.  
Feel free to request any creatures you want to be messed with, and I will try my hardest to keep this a K+ rating from here on out! (#SorryNotSorry about the previous gore.) **

**Thanks for reading, as always, go ahead and leave a review if you have any art requests... or not, I don't mind. Reading the reviews just makes my day ;D**


	26. Star Wars: Love Patrol Alpha Awakens

**Heyo! So about the wendigo - no, I didn't do a bad annotations for it. I did, however draw some Dipper-Wendigo (Dipdigo as named by my fabulous reviewer 'Imnotaguestanymore'!) It's all bloody and gory and fun and I'm pretty happy with it, so check it out here if you're interested:** **art/Dipdigo-Dipper-Wendigo-606789325  
**

 **Now get ready to say 'well that escalated quickly'  
Disclaimer: The only thing I own concerning Gravity Falls is the souls of each character.**

* * *

"Who's ready for movie night?" Stan asked.  
The group cheered loudly, raising hands into the air. Gathered in the living room was the Pines family, Soos and Wendy – even Ford had agreed to join them for the film marathon.  
"Grunkle Stan, why are all of these horror movies?" Dipper asked, flicking through the pile of films, "and I thought the DVD player broke? How are we going to watch them?"  
"Because, Summerween is in a few days and I figured we should get in the mood for it with some scary movies. And the old DVD player _did_ break, I just found this one laying around outside and it didn't look like anyone wanted it, so I took it."

In truth, the old DVD player had been smashed by Stan when he was trying to squat a fly that had landed on it. Why the man had decided to use a baseball bat to squat the pesky insect, no one would ever know, although they decided not to question it. The story about where the new DVD player had been 'found' wasn't half true; there had been a garage sale on the other side of town and Stan had taken it upon himself to steal the electronic the moment he saw it. "Hey look," he had said, "someone is stealing your dog!" Once the man selling it had turned around, explaining that he didn't have a dog, he had stolen it and ran away as fast as he could, getting into his car and driving away – but not before purposely knocking over the seller's bins first.

"So," Stan changed the subject, "have we got everything?"  
"Popcorn, check!" Mabel announced, holding up a large bowl in each hand.  
"Sodas, check!" Wendy held up her own half-empty can of Pitt Cola.  
"Lights off, check!" Soos flicked the switch and the room was engulfed in darkness, the only light coming from the TV.  
"Pillows, check!" Dipper announced, earning odd looks from the others.  
Mabel snorted, "are you scared?"  
"No," he quickly denied, "I just thought that we should be comfortable while we watch the movies."  
" _Sure_ you did," his twin laughed, punching his arm softly and he laughed, too.  
"Alright, point dexter, you got the remote?" Stan addressed his twin and received a nod from the other. "Then let's get started."

Each person quickly got comfortable: the two younger twins sitting on the floor in front of the yellow sofa, which was occupied by Stan; Ford sat on the steps that led out to the hallway while Soos sat on the large dinosaur skull next to the sofa and Wendy sat at the round table in the corner of the room. Ford clicked a button on the remote and the TV blackened for a moment before flicking back on again, the film beginning to play; Stan had explained that the first film was titled 'movie 2: revenge of the film critics' and that despite its poor title, it was a classic that was much better than most others.

The scene began with a tall figure staring at the camera; he was clad in a black gown that covered his entire form, a white ghost mask on his face. "Huh," Stan grumbled, "I don't remember it starting like this."  
The TV didn't change, stuck on the same image for ten quiet seconds before Mabel spoke up: "Grunkle Stan, is it meant to start like this?"  
"No," he replied, "maybe it's broken. Shame, that was a good movie; try another one."  
Dipper shuffled forward and clicked the button to eject the disc, waiting for a second as the port opened. However, instead of ejecting the film's disc like one would have expected, it simply stayed open.  
"What are you doing, hurry up," Stan complained.  
The boy pressed the button again, "I'm trying, it won't eject it; it's like there isn't even a disc in there."  
"Well be quick, that ghost guy on the TV is starting to freak me out," Mabel spoke.

"Alright, one sec," Dipper knelt down and closed one eye, peering through the other one into the disc slot; "I can't see- ah!" he jumped back instantly, crawling away from the DVD player.  
"What's wrong?" Ford asked.  
"There was an eye in there looking at me!"  
"An eye? Man up, kid," Stan rolled his eyes, "it's probably just a reflection of your own eye."  
"Right, because my eyes are bright red and bleeding," he gestured to the device, "I'm not going near that again."  
"I'll take a look at it," Wendy left her can of Pitt Cola in its place to kneel in front of the DVD player, peeking inside just as Dipper had done.  
"Be careful, Wendy," Mabel said.  
The red-head straightened again to face the others, "see, dude? Nothing wrong, you were probably just paranoid." The reassuring smile vanished when something flicked out of the disc slot faster than the eye could see, snatching her hair and yanking on it harshly to pull her down.  
"Wendy!" the twins cried, rushing forward to pull her back away from it again. As the young twins and Soos pulled the girl away from the DVD player, Stan and Ford gripped the device strongly and pulled that away, too.  
"I'm switching off the power!" Ford announced, reaching down to the power cord, everybody stopped moving when the TV switched off.

"Oh good," Soos sighed in relief, "you turned it off."  
Wendy pulled her head away from the electronic, her hair now free.  
Ford paused, "no, I didn't."  
The TV hummed for a short moment, a noise so loud and high in frequency that everyone in the group had to cover their ears to block it out; it soon came to a stop when the TV turned on again, screen a blank white. The sudden white was bright enough that everyone in the group had to shield their eyes from it as they adjusted – Ford pulled at the power cord harshly but it refused to budge, instead he was forced to drop the device when it began burning his hands, a sizzling hot temperature that scorched his skin.

Everyone watched in confusion and shock as the black metal of the DVD player started to drip away, melting into a murky puddle of steaming hot liquid. "What's going on?" Dipper asked.  
"I don't know," Ford replied as he shuffled away from the puddle. "Stanley, where did you get this thing?"  
"I told you I found it just laying around outside," Stan lied.  
"It must be cursed," he concluded.  
The black pool began to take a new shape, an ominous figure rising from it to tower over the group. A hole began to split apart in the top of the odd figure, strings of black connecting the two sides, dripping down onto the floor; from the hole came heavy breathing that sounded filtered by a mask of some sort.  
Soos was the first to scream once the goop had finally taken shape into an easily recognisable character.

Clad in an entirely black and futuristic suit, a long cape billowed behind him and a large mask covered his head.

"It's Darth Vader!" Soos shouted, pointing at the figure.  
"Quick, everyone down to my lab!" Ford instructed, "I should have a spell that can reverse this."  
Just as the man stood and spun around to leave the room, another figure stood in the doorway: obsidian tar that had no resemblance to a person, two limbs stretching out to snatch at the man.  
"Great Uncle Ford!" Mabel called but the air was knocked out of her when she was pushed to the floor by someone – looking around, Dipper had been the one to push her aside when a red beam cut through the space that she'd been in.  
"He even has a lightsaber!" someone – Soos, she presumed – announced far too happily for the situation.  
Wendy pulled the handyman aside when the lightsaber was swung in his direction, aiming for his neck; "be careful, man," she said.

"Move," Stan commanded, pushing his brother aside and moving to stand in front of the figure; notorious baseball bat in hand, he swung it at the strange being, knocking it aside to splat on the walls, slowly dripping down to the floor.  
"Stanley!" Ford scolded, "do you _have_ to resort to violence for every situation?!"  
"Well it's gone now and you weren't doing anything," his brother shrugged. "So what are we wai-"  
Stan's words were cut off by a shout from the other side of the room. Soos was being pulled from the room, a black coil of a tail wound around his chest; Wendy pulled at one arm and the younger twins pulled at the other in an attempt to save him, but the handyman's arms were slowly slipping from their grips.  
"This is what I get for being the side character, dudes!" Soos shouted.  
The trio pulling at him were suddenly pulled away themselves by an invisible force, lifted into the air. "Soos!" they shouted as the man was yanked from the room and around the corner, out of sight.  
They heard his quiet last words being shouted: "may the fourth be with you~!"

Wendy sighed; "even his last words were a terrible joke."  
"It's not even the fourth today," Dipper stated.  
The three yelped when they were suddenly dropped onto the floor. Stan had hit Darth Vader on the head with his bat. "No one uses the force on these kids!" he commanded before ushering the teens to follow him from the room. As they did, they were followed by Darth Vader, who rose his arm to throw his lightsaber at them. Ford, at the back of the group, quickly commanded that the others duck – they did so, staying close to the floor as a read beam flew over their heads before flying back into the being's grasp again. "Quick, into the kitchen," he said, scrambling to his feet as the creature behind them moved closer.

The group hurried into the kitchen, slamming the door behind them and locking it, although it wouldn't be much help against one of the world's most notorious villains who owned a weapon that could cut through anything…  
"What's going on? Why is Darth Vader here trying to kill us?!" Dipper asked.  
"And that alien thing that took Soos!" Mabel said.  
"Not to mention whatever that thing was that was in the doorway," Stan grumbled.  
"Calm down," Ford assured, "it's probably just a curse."  
"Just a curse?" Wendy interrupted, "dude, we have a bunch of the most evil villains ever trying to murder us!"  
"Don't worry, I should have something downstairs that can reverse it," the man assured.  
"Well that's great," Stan threw his hands in the air dramatically, "if we were downstairs! How are we meant to get down there?"  
"Okay, one of us needs to distract Darth Vader while the others go down to the basement."

Before his twin could reply, there was a single loud bang on the kitchen door that lead outside, a black shadow blocking the view out of the window. No one spoke as another loud bang shook the door and then another.  
"Do you think it's Soos?" Mabel asked unsurely.  
"Or another bad guy," Dipper replied, moving closer to her nervously.  
There was another loud bang and a crack split the door.  
Wendy took her newer, sharper axe from its place on her belt and slowly inched toward the door, reaching out a hand to open it; another bang shook the door, then another and then another until the wood finally gave way, a large hole appearing. A face appeared in the hole, grinning maliciously and looking at the red-head; "here's Johnny~!" A had reached through the hole, toward the door handle, only to be cut by Wendy's axe.  
"That movie was terrible!" the teen snapped, watching as the hand recoiled, a black substance oozing from the gash.

A shout directed her attention back to the group; a red beam was stuck through the door, moving to cut a hole that the villain on the other side could walk through.  
"Why are there so many?" Dipper asked.  
"I don't know," Ford admitted, "but I think I have a plan: once Darth Vader-"  
He was interrupted by a quiet giggle.  
"What?" he furrowed his brows at Mabel.  
"Sorry, it's just that I never thought we'd be fighting _Darth Vader."  
_ "Mabel, this is serious!"

A shout pulled them from their plans and they watched as Wendy was pulled by her hair for the second time that day. They rushed forward to help her, only to stop once she was engulfed in the grotesque, obsidian tar from the creature – the figure dripped away, melting into the floor.  
"Oh, no, Wendy!" Mabel gasped, "now what? Soos and Wendy are gone!"  
Another loud bang came from the other door as the red beam finally cut all of the way through the wood, revealing Darth Vader on the other side.  
"Quick, you three go to the basement and find the spell!" Ford ordered, quickly taking his gun from its holster and aiming it at the villain, firing a shot before knocking over the table and ducking behind it. "Go," he shooed the others away; a draft from the broken door sent a shiver down his spine as the others left, leaving him alone with the notorious villain.

The remaining trio made their way through the shack cautiously, checking each room and around every corner before moving on; once they had finally made it to the vending machine, Stan punched in the code and the machine slid open. He ushered the teens down the steps and followed them in, closing the machine behind them – rushing down the stairs, they quickly exited the lift and each rushed to search Ford's lab. Pulling open drawers and shuffling through sheets of paper, they searched and searched for something that could reverse the curse, but with no luck.  
"Where is it, where is it?" Dipper muttered to himself frantically.  
"Can't you just call Bill and get him to do something?" Mabel then asked.  
"Bill's busy," her brother replied.  
"Doing what?" Stan grunted as he pulled open a drawer, carelessly throwing out the contents to search for the correct spell.  
"I don't know, probably making deals. He's been busy for a few days now, he didn't say what he's doing, though," flicking through more irrelevant notes, he picked up another stack and read over them quickly; "let's just find this spell so we can get rid of those things."

A loud bang echoed through the room from the lift's heavy, metal doors.  
"It's not in here," Mabel concluded, turning to the duo.  
Another loud bang echoed through the room.  
"Keep looking," Stan instructed.  
Another loud bang.  
"I think this could be it," Dipper held up a piece of paper.  
Another bang.  
"Read it," Stan said, moving over to peer at the parchment over his grand nephew's shoulder.  
Another bang.  
"It's not English, I don't know how to say it," the boy scanned each word; "it's probably Latin or something."  
His sister plucked the parchment from his grasp as another, louder, bang resounded through the room. "Let me try, I learn Latin in school," she smiled, braces gone and leaving a sparkling grin.  
"Since when?"  
"Since they forced us. I think you learn German right?"  
Another bang.  
Stan interrupted, "as great as it is learning French and Spanish, could you hurry up a bit?"  
Another bang left a dent in the lift's door.  
She nodded before reading, albeit slowly and unsurely pronouncing each syllable "Dicitur illa maledictio interficies ligat – posuit rewind effectus..." Eyes flashed a bright white for only a second while the banging ceased, an eerie silence engulfing the room.

"Do you think it's over?" Mabel whispered after a few seconds.  
"I don't-" her twin's reply was cut short by a sudden yelp, his hands flying to the top of his head – he had been standing just under the vent in the wall and was the first to be hit with a rush of black goop that slid down the back of his cap and along his neck, matting his hair and sticking to the fabric of his shirt and vest. "Gross," he complained as he spun around, only for the goop to spill onto the bill of his hat. Stepping back, the trio jumped as another loud bang – much louder than before – dented the lift's doors.  
"I don't think it worked," Stan said, backing away from the endless stream of tar that flooded through the vent, forming a large pool on the floor. "We'll have to go back upstairs."  
"But that's where those monsters are," Mabel countered.  
"Well it's either up there and fight them or down here and drown in this stuff," the obsidian, thick liquid had already formed into a pool of sludge that stained their shoes, steadily rising higher and higher.  
"But isn't there something in the elevator?" Dipper eyed it warily, untrusting.  
"Again," the man persisted, "up there with that or down here in this."  
Without further word, they trudged through the thick accumulation of tar that had already flooded to Stan's knees – and therefore the twins' stomachs – and stood before the lift. They each prepared for a fight as the oldest of the trio pressed the button, the doors clicking before pulling open.

Instead of the creature they had been expecting, they were forced to shield themselves with their arms and stumbled back from the force of the wall of tar that hit them, washing over them and flooding the room even more. Once it had rushed past them, the black liquid had reached Stan's waist while Dipper and Mabel struggled to keep their heads above the surface. The two were lifted onto their Great Uncle's shoulders safely as he waded his way into the lift, the doors closing behind them as they ascended to the ground floor.  
"Now what?" Dipper asked as he was placed on the floor again; "the spell didn't work."  
Mabel gasped, "I think I have an idea. You remember that party last summer?"  
"Which one?" Stan asked as the lift's doors opened. The space was clear of monsters.  
"The one that started good but ended in a disaster."  
"Again, which one?"  
"Well," she smiled, "I have an idea."

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

"This is the single worst idea I've ever heard," Dipper concluded.  
"Come on~ we've done it before," Mabel coaxed, poking at his cheek.  
"But then we knew it would work."

The trio had successfully sneaked up the stairs – Ford had somehow disappeared and there was still no sign of Soos or Wendy – without seeing a single creature. They weren't sure if they should be worried about the mysterious disappearance or not.  
"Mabel," Stan said, "I don't think singing is gonna solve this."  
"But Grunkle Stan! Think about it, every villain _ever_ has an evil song that they sing in their movie-"  
"Every villain ever except every villain we've seen today," Dipper interrupted.  
"But the hero always defeats them by singing!" the girl carried on, beaming happily.  
"There's no way that would work," Stan concluded as his great niece dragged out an old, pink box from beneath her bed. The two recognised it instantly as the karaoke machine they had used to defeat the zombies a year prior.  
"And I have the perfect song," Mabel said, flicking through each track.

A loud bang at the door drew their attention to it briefly before loud feedback rang from the old karaoke machine, drawing the attention of every monster in the area. "Great," Stan said sarcastically, "now they know where we are."

"Villains and monsters!" Mabel suddenly announced through her microphone, "for the first time in a year, you'll be hearing the newest hit of Gravity Falls' most popular band: Love Patrol Alpha!"  
A song started playing through the speaker of the machine; despite its age, the sound quality was still good and played loud enough to be heard from outside the shack.  
"Wait a minute," Dipper said as he instantly recognised the tune, "this isn't-"

He was interrupted by his twin's singing: "wake up in the morning feeling like P Diddy!"  
He groaned at her choice of music; "seriously?"  
"Grab my glasses, I'm out the door, I'm gonna hit this city. Before I leave brush my teeth-"  
The door was slammed open as she sung the next line, revealing a new figure on the other side.  
"Freddy Krueger?" Stan asked, shocked.  
"Cause when I leave for the night, I ain't coming back!" Mabel continued to sing, ignoring the villain's presence. "I'm talking pedicures on our toes, toes."

Freddy lunged forward, blades ready to tear into Stan. The man jumped back, snatching a pillow from Dipper's bed and holding it up; the monster dug his blades into it, the torn fabric tangling around the metal.  
"Trying on all our clothes, clothes," Mabel sang as her Great Uncle tore the blankets from her brother's bed and tossed it over the creature, blinding it and pushing it back – it stumbled back out of the room and the trio heard a loud series of thumping sounds as it tumbled down the stairs. "Boys blowing up our phones, phones."  
"Mabel, this really isn't the time-" Dipper said.  
She ignored him and kept singing: "playing our favourite CDs, throwing up to the parties! Try and get a little bit-" she screamed as a black figure jumped onto the window, startling her. An alien figure stared – did it have eyes? - at her, its mouth, and the mouth inside of its mouth, drooling excessively. As it stared, it flickered out of sight for a brief moment as if it were a glitching video. The humans watching it smiled as realisation struck them.  
"It's working," Mabel cheered, sharing knowing looks with the other two.

Throwing microphones to her two family members, they each took a deep breath before simultaneously belting out the chorus as loud as they could: "don't stop, make it pop! DJ blow my speakers up! Tonight I'm gon' fight 'till we see the sunlight! Tick, tock on the clock but the party don't stop, no!"  
"Whoa-oh oh-ah!" Dipper sang but cut himself off with a scream as something pulled at his feet, knocking him onto his backside. He screamed as a man beneath his bed clawed at his feet, trying to get a strong grasp on the boy as the brunet kicked and flailed the limbs in a panic. He was then pulled away by a pair of strong arms to stand on his feet before his Great Uncle stamped on the pair of hands protruding from beneath his bed. Needless to say, Dipper had never expected that he would be scared of the monsters beneath his bed.

Mabel pointed at him as she sang; "ain't got a care in the world but got plenty to drink. Ain't got no money in my pocket but I'm already here;" when she paused and looked at her brother expectantly, he took it as a cue to start the next line.  
"And now the dudes are lining up cause they hear we got swagger."  
The trio began singing together – they couldn't deny that their voices didn't sound perfect: what with Mabel's off-key singing, Dipper's squeaky puberty voice and Stan's gruff mumbling, but in that moment they couldn't care less. "But we kick 'em to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger," the line was punctuated by a giggle from Mabel.  
Dipper and Stan continued to belt out the words to the song as Mabel pulled out her notorious grappling hook from beneath her sweater and aimed it at the figure that stood in the doorway. "Take this, Lord Voldemort!" she yelled at the monster, pulling the trigger of the device in her hands; said villain – clad in his infamous black robes, skin pale and eyes dark – easily dodged the metal hook as it flew past him, a smug smile pulling at pale lips.  
"Now, now, we going till they kick us out, out," the two boys sang while the girl clicked another button, the rope retracting back into the barrel of the grappling hook. The speed of it was fast enough that as the hook flew past Voldemort, it hit him on the side of the head, flattening it into black goop.  
"Or our parents shut us down, down," the two sang. Voldemort, ignorant to the wound on his head, lunged forward; however, he never managed to harm the humans before he flickered out of existence. "Parents shut us down, down," the three grinned at the sight, their singing working to get rid of the various villains and monsters; "parents shut us down!"  
Mabel joined in their singing once more as they started the chorus again: "don't stop, make it pop! DJ, blow my speakers up!"

Stan threw a fist at another unrecognisable tar figure that formed in the doorway, not stopping his singing; "tonight, I'm gon' fight-" as the monster stumbled out of the bedroom, Stan kicked the figure, hard, in what was likely its chest. It fell back, knocking open the already ajar window and landing in a hideous heap on the ground below. Stan raised a fist triumphantly and shouted down at the mess: "till we see the sunlight, sucker!"  
"Tick tock on the clock, but the party don't stop, no," they sang.  
"DJ," Mabel's voice quietened; "you build me up, you break me down. My heart it pounds-" her words were stopped when a pair of arms wrapped around her wait, lifting her into the air. She kicked and flailed her limbs to be free of the monster, trying to sing louder only for her mouth to be covered by a hand.  
"Mabel!" Dipper pulled the nearest object – a good sized novel – from its place on his desk, using all of his strength to whack the villain on the head with it. Ironically enough, the novel was one of the books from the Lord of The Rings trilogy and the villain was a character from it that the boy recognised as Saruman: an old man donned in white fabrics. The boy's sister was dropped to the floor as hands flew up to clasp at the wounded area, the monster stumbled back, rubbing at the spot.

"Hey, Saruman!" Dipper called. The monster peered at the two, ready to attack. In the boy's hands was a red, metallic cylinder and in the girl's was a black nozzle that connected to the bright container. On the crimson metal was an orange flame symbol, next to it were the words 'fire extinguisher' in bold capitals.  
Mabel pointed one accusing finger at the monster before smugly saying: "now the party don't start till we walk in~!" The villain was quickly engulfed in a white foam, buried beneath it. The twins knew that he had flickered away from existence once the foam bubbled into a shapeless mess on the floor.

They gave each other a quick high five, smiling to Stan as he entered the room. Sharing short, knowing glances with one another, they each took a deep breath before simultaneously shouting the chorus of the song loudly one more time: "don't stop, make it pop! DJ, blow my speakers up! Tonight we gon fight till we see the sunlight! Tick tock on the clock but the party don't stop, no!"  
"Whoa-oh oh oh, whoa-oh oh oh;" Mabel sang before quietening, watching happily as the other two enjoyed singing, knowing that they would deny it later.

As the song finally came to an end, they each panted, slightly out of breath from singing so loudly.

"That was awesome!" Mabel cheered, "we beat up the bad guys with our awesome singing!" she waved her arms around in exaggerated excitement, beaming happily.  
Dipper laughed, "yeah, I didn't think it would work at first."  
"Who's the smart one now, Dipper?" she crossed her arms smugly.  
"Still me," he joked.  
"Kids, kids," Stan interrupted seriously. "What are you talking about? I thought we went over this?" He paused, letting the twins look at him expectantly, curiosity etched on their features. "I'm the smart one in this family." The trio laughed while the man pulled them under his arms, ruffling their hair affectionately.

* * *

 **No Wikipedia or BA today, sorry!**

 **I didn't clarify at the end but Soos, Wendy and Ford are all A-okay.  
You might be able to tell closer to the start but I honestly couldn't be all that bothered with this chapter. It's not that I'm getting bored with this story, it's just this chapter. Seriously, the only reason that I even wrote it was because I wanted to get some Love Patrol Alpha in there. Sue me. Don't worry, I'll try to make the next chapter better. Key word being try. And also; I haven't seen any of the films that those villains are from. I've seen Lord of The Rings and some of the Harry Potter films, but none of the others (nope, not even Star Wars.)  
**

 **No plan, it was pretty boring and short, sorry.**

 **So yeah, go ahead and request any monster/creature you want to be burned alive- I mean to be hugged... And any art requests, too, cause yeah.**

 **Thanks for reading this chapter, this is your lucky day. If you leave a review right now, you will be granted with your very own cursed DVD player - now I know what you're thinking! "Why would I want to bring a bunch of monsters and evil people to life?" Well, you can use it for anything! My Little Pony... Star Wars... Harry Potter... Gravity Falls... (hint hint)  
So yeah, go leave a review and that'll appear under your pillow exactly 666 seconds from now! Thanks~!**


	27. Chimera

**Before I forget, a small tip to people who write stories and stuff on here: Shift+enter will not give you a space between each new line, just a new line with no gap. Use that when writing dialogue~**

 **Well, would you look at the time, it's the time for me to avoid being raged at for taking so long to update, ahahaha...  
Oops, sorry for any and all mistakes in this chapter!**

* * *

"I don't get what you meat-sacks find so appealing about this," Bill admitted. He slouched lazily on the yellow sofa of the living room, one hand resting idly on his stomach while the other was buried in a bowl of Doritos, eating one every so often. His legs dangled over the arm of the sofa, gently kicking back and forth. Playing on the screen was an episode of _Why You Ackin' So Cray Cray?_ "It's just this lady asking why a girl decided to burn down the house of her boyfriend after he dumped her."  
"Well it's not exactly normal _or legal_ to burn down someone's house like that," Dipper rolled his eyes. Sitting on the floor in front of the sofa, he leaned back idly onto the worn piece of furniture and reached back to take a Dorito from the bowl before popping it into his mouth. "That's something crazy people do."  
"Well she was just heartbroken because he dumped her," Mabel defended the woman who was on TV. She was laying on her stomach as she stared up at the screen, swinging her legs in the air idly.  
"See: crazy people," the boy gestured to his twin, earning a light kick from one of her swinging feet that caused them both to break out into playful laughter.

"Mabel?" A new voice made its way into the conversation and the trio looked at the small owner who stood in the doorway.  
"Oh, hey Bella," Mabel and Dipper greeted at the same time.  
"Jinx," the girl declared with a grin as she sat up and the two laughed again together while Bill simply kept his eyes glued to the TV.  
"Do you mind if I speak to you for a moment?" Bella asked politely of the girl.  
"Sure," the brunette agreed and followed the feline from the room and into the kitchen.

"We've located the next stone," Bella stated bluntly once she was sure that neither the girl's brother or his demonic companion had decided to follow them and listen to their conversation.  
"Oh, finally," the girl replied in a hushed tone, all mirth vanishing in an instant. "Where is it? Does Great Uncle Ford have a map?"  
"Yes, it's down in the basement. Once you retrieve the map, you should talk to your Great Uncle Stanford about it."  
"Ok, thank you!" the girl skipped from the room and headed straight to the basement, listening briefly to her twin's joyous laughter that rang from the living room.

"Hey, Great Uncle Ford," Mabel greeted as she headed into the basement.  
"Mabel," the man turned to face her and, as if expecting her arrival – which he probably was – handed her the now familiar parchment of the Gravity Falls map. "I've already marked the appropriate location, now you just need to find it. Although I must warn you of this particular stone. To get it, you'll have to face Chimera."  
"Chimera?" the girl raised an eyebrow.  
He nodded, "a monster made up of different parts from different animals."  
"Oh, don't worry about that, Great Uncle Ford. I've dealt with all the other monster-thingies like Orthroo and Cerbetus, I can handle some deer that has a lion tail," she waved off the warning confidently and uncaring of how she butchered each creature's name.

"I know that you can handle yourself under normal conditions but I need you to be more careful this time. You need to get the stone, Pyrite, from Chimera but it won't be as easy as it sounds. The only Pyrite to exist is a concentrated beam that could easily cut through anything – a beam that is breathed _only_ by Chimera. It won't be easy to get it."  
"Then how _do_ I get it?"  
"Well, luckily for you, I've developed something that can transform this concentrated beam into the stone that we need." Reaching under his desk, he pulled out what appeared to be the metal lid of a bin. "Just make sure the beam hits this shield and you won't get hurt, plus it will contribute more to the stone. You see there, on the handle, there are three small lights. Each will light up as you get more energy – once all three are lit up, that will be enough."  
"What does the stone actually do?"  
"It will provide a sort of shield for Dipper. Now, off you go before it gets dark," he patted her back to signal that she start leaving.  
"Great Uncle Ford?" the girl spoke, pausing in her steps but not turning to look at the man. "Do you think all of this will actually work?"  
"Yes," Ford replied surely, "we just need all of the right things. I still believe that we can save your brother."  
There was a tense silence for a few seconds before Mabel made her way back up to the shack.

As she closed the vending machine door behind her, someone else spoke to her again: "you going to find another stone for Great Uncle Ford's _'research'?_ " they asked.  
"Yeah, I-" she turned and realised that it had been her brother who had spoken to her, "I mean, nope I'm just going out with, uh, Wendy and Soos to..."  
"Don't bother," he rolled his eyes when she struggled to think of a believable lie. "I know what you're doing," needless to say, the boy couldn't find it in himself to care about his twin's actions concerning Bill. But that didn't stop her from giving a dejected look at the revelation that he already knew what she was up to. "I seriously don't care," he shrugged, "besides, Bill already told me that the exorcism won't work since he has a physical form now."

"Pine Tree," Bill called from the doorway of the living room, Mabel only just then noticing his presence; "the adverts about owl shovels are finally over, hurry up or you're gonna miss the pyromaniac's death sentence. Nice trash can lid, by the way, kid." he added and pointed to the metal object in her hands.  
"Alright, see you later Mabes," he waved to her and headed back to the living room once more, talking to Bill about how the woman would never get a death sentence for her crime.  
"Uh, yeah. Bye," she said awkwardly before heading to the gift shop in search of Soos and Wendy.

"Hey, Mabel," Wendy greeted as the girl entered the room. "What's with the trash can lid?"  
"Hey Wendy, hey Soos," she greeted and stood on the tips of her toes to smile over the counter at the red-head who was seated there. "I'll explain later. You wanna help me find the next stone thingy?"  
Wendy raised an eyebrow, "you found another one?"  
"Yup."  
"I don't know, I mean I have _all_ these customers buying junk-" she gestured to the gift shop. No one was there. "And I really need to- who am I kidding? Let's go."  
"Great, Soos are you coming?" the girls looked at the man expectantly. Once he had agreed to go with them, they made their ways out of the shack and into the forest while Mabel told the other two about what Ford had said and about the bin lid.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

After a while, Mabel's jokes were interrupted by an unfamiliar voice: "Yo." The trio stopped in their tracks, looking around them in search for the voice's owner. After a few seconds, the voice spoke again: "up here, you morons." They each looked up to a tree's branches that stretched overhead, above their path.

Sitting upon the thick branch was a humanoid figure with dark skin – if it could be called skin. It was a wooden texture, rough and rugged like the bark of the tree it sat on, knots adorning the wood of its flesh. Pointed ears poked through the deep red petals of its short hair while grass-green eyes peered down at the three. A tangle of vines wrapped around its torso and along its arms, connecting the being's hands to the tree; Legs swung over the edge of the branch idly, toadstools growing over the area of its feet and ankles. From the top of its head grew a web of branches that joined with more spindly wooden appendages that hung above its head, looking like a pair of antlers.

"Woah," Mabel breathed in awe, "are you a tree person?"  
" _Tree person_ , _"_ the being echoed in distaste; "think you mean Radande. Name's Rowan in case you lot were wondering."  
"Rude," Wendy muttered to herself quietly before speaking up: "so, _Rowan_ , you have any idea where we can find Chimera?"  
"You looking to get yourselves killed or something?" the being asked, raising wooden brows in question.  
"We're looking for the Pyrite thingy," Mabel chirped happily. "Can you help us?"  
Rowan lifted his hands an inch from the branch they rested on, the vines curling around them tightening at the movement, to gesture his inability to move. "Definitely," he replied sarcastically; "just let me uproot my tree and carry it on my back while I follow to twerps to your death."  
Wendy scoffed, "look, man, are you gonna help us or not?"  
The Radande only rolled his eyes, "I'll help you by telling you to get lost. You don't want to deal with that thing."  
"How do you eat?" Soos interrupted, changing the subject entirely.  
"What?" the wooden boy asked, not expecting the question.  
"If you're stuck to the tree, how do you eat?"  
"You ever heard of photosynthesis, you fat lump of-"  
"Alright, we're going," Wendy concluded before the being could finish his insult. She stormed off, further into the woods, clearly expecting her two friends to follow.  
While Soos scurried after the red-head, Rowan snapped angrily at the brunette that was left by his tree. "Oi, what do you think you're doing?"  
The girl had been carving a string of numbers into the bark of the tree's trunk before she smiled up at him; "call me," she spoke loud enough for him to hear but in a whispery tone of voice. She jogged to catch up with her two friends but not before waving goodbye to the Radande boy.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

"Ok, it should be around here somewhere, right?" Mabel asked after another thirty minutes of walking. Pulling out her map, she unrolled it to look at where they were meant to be; Soos peered over her shoulder and helpfully pointed out that they didn't have far to go.  
"Great," the girl beamed and tucked the parchment back into her backpack.  
"Whoa, dude," Soos put an arm out to stop the girl in her tracks. "Careful, you nearly stepped on that snake," the man pointed at the scaly reptile that laid across their path.  
"Since when do we get snakes in Gravity Falls?" Wendy raised an eyebrow.

Before anyone could speak again, the snake was pulled away through the bushes, hissing as its scales left scuffs in the floor, sharp enough to rip up patches of grass.  
"Aw, it's okay, little guy," Mabel comforted, pushing aside leaves in an attempt to find the snake; "we won't hurt you, don't be scared."  
"Uh… Mabel?" Soos said unsurely from behind her, "I don't think it's worried about you hurting it, dude."  
"Mm?" she looked back at her friends to find that they weren't looking at her, but behind her, backing away warily.  
Following their gaze, the girl turned slowly to catch a glimpse of red eyes and sharp fangs; a fiery red mane; horns that were like daggers; blackened hooves; a hissing, scaly tail; claws that could easily cut through bone and-

Mabel ran.

By her side was Soos and Wendy, each of them not wanting to face the behemoth that pursued them. "Is that the chimera?!" Mabel shouted to either of her companions.  
"I think so," Wendy looked back briefly to peer at the monster again; "wait, wait." She halted in her steps, prompting Soos and Mabel to do the same. "It's not following us," the red-head mused.  
"But I heard it following us," Soos said, Mabel agreeing breathlessly.  
"Well it's not there now," Wendy scanned the area quickly before she let her guard down, dismissing the creature's disappearance. Running a hand through her hair as she sighed, she then said: "but that means we have to find it again."  
"Hide and seek with a monster?" Mabel grinned, patting her cheeks happily, "sounds pretty fun~!"  
"Heh, I guess he wants to play," Soos chirped from behind the two girls.  
Turning around, the two were greeted by a large creature, two or perhaps even three times as tall as Soos, whose species the trio couldn't identify: with the body of a lion and a thick mane it could have easily passed for a feline; however the goat head that sprouted from its back, the hooves that replaced the claws of back feet and the scaly snake that replaced its tail told a different story.

"Run," Wendy commanded bluntly.

Mabel and Soos didn't need to be told twice, they spun on their heels and sprinted full speed away from the creature that persisted after them, releasing a roar that splintered the once peaceful atmosphere of the forest. "What do we do?!" Mabel called frantically to her friends, peering over her shoulder at the hellish monster that followed them closely.  
"Split up, it can't chase all three of us, right?" Wendy concluded.  
With a nod of determination, Mabel took a sharp right turn to move through the thick crowd of trees, a mixture of feelings stirring in her gut – Chimera _had_ to follow her. She was the one with the shield, she needed to be the one who got the Pyrite. On the other hand, a small portion of her hoped that the creature had followed Wendy or Soos because as selfish as it might have been – and the girl was ready to admit that it was, indeed, a selfish thought – it meant that she was safe and could stop running to allow her lungs to stop burning like she had chugged larva straight from a volcano.

Awkwardly shifting the bin lid from one hand to the other after having gripped it so hard that her hand hurt, the brunette shot a glance back over her shoulder. She caught a few last glimpses of Soos running though the trees with another terrifyingly animalistic monster close on his heels before she was quickly swallowed up by the maze of trees, continuing to run in determination of finding another path that would lead back to her friends. She had to help.

Meanwhile, Soos panted for air desperately, his lungs never seeming to catch enough of what he needed – he didn't dare to look back because, if the enormous shadow that devoured his own was any indication, Chimera was right behind him and quite literally breathing down his neck. He had run straight back the way they'd come and was unfortunate enough to be the one who was chased by the monster. Why him? Could the beast smell the emergency salami that he kept hidden in his wallet?

In a frantic effort to slow down the monster, he pulled his wallet from his pocket and opened it up to pull out the long-since mouldy slice of meat that he had stored away. The man was oblivious to the stench of rotten meat that still wafted from the leather of his wallet. "I'm sorry," Soos whispered to the salami slice before giving it a quick but loving kiss and chucking it over his shoulder; "I'll never forget you, emergency salami!" he called back. Despite his promise, Soos forgot about the salami slice as Chimera roared, stamping on the piece of meat once it landed on the floor.

Down another twist of paths to the left and hidden from view was a red-head, running determinedly to find a way to help her friends – she had already lost Chimera when she split up with her friends but that didn't mean she could rest easy quite yet. Ducking under a protruding branch with ease, she tried her best to follow a path that stayed close to the one they'd come from yet found that the track only strayed further from where she wanted to be. _'Who cares?'_ she thought defiantly and jumped over a tree root, successfully bounding away from the path and making her way forward in an attempt to find her friends. A roar broke the intense silence and she pushed herself to move faster, ignoring her own short breaths and aching limbs. Perhaps splitting up hadn't been the best idea.

Mabel made a sharp turn left without hesitation when she came across a fork in the road, making her way back toward the path Soos followed. She had gotten so far away from her friends that she could no longer hear the movement of the monster, the air instead being filled with the sounds of her own deep breathing and her feet crushing branches beneath them.

Wendy stopped in her tracks when a line of trees blocked where she wanted to go, packed so tightly together that she couldn't spot a gap bigger than her hand to fit through. Scanning the small area quickly, she resorted to climbing the trees in front of her to get past them. Digging fingers into bark, the teen supported her feet on the knots of the tree and proceeded to climb up and over it.

Soos continued to run, not having time to care where his friends had run off to. He didn't need to look behind him to know that Chimera was still on his heels, breathing down his neck and probably only millimeters from enjoying its next meal. Before he realised it, Soos was on his stomach. He had caught his foot on a root and tripped. Without looking back, the man shielded his head with his arms, waiting for an attack that never came.  
"Lady Mabel has come to save the day!"  
Soos immediately opened his eyes and turned over to look at his saviour, Mabel, standing in front of him with her make-shift shield raised up to protect them both. A blindingly bright beam shot at the girl – it was a blend of gold and silver that twirled and intertwined in a beautiful spiral – however it was blocked by the bin lid that was held in the brunette's hands. The force of the beam pushed her back slightly and she almost lost her footing if it weren't for the creature stopping its attack.  
One of the small lights on the lid's handle lit up in a pop of red.

The teen didn't have time to celebrate, however, when the object was swiftly knocked from her grasp by the monster, flying off to the side and leaving a dent in the tree it hit. She was knocked backwards before she could run after it, flying into Soos as he stood up and knocking him back down again. The two groaned as they stood up again and rubbed at their heads, only to notice the looming shadow above them. "Oh no," Soos said.  
"Good lion-goat...thingy," Mabel laughed nervously while the duo were backed up.  
Just as Chimera opened its mouth to shoot another beam at the humans, another figure jumped in the way, hidden behind the familiar metal of a bin lid. "Wendy!" Soos and Mabel cheered while the red-head used the shield to take the brunt of the attack. The creature ceased its attack before the second bulb could light up on the handle – Chimera instead chose to swipe its claws at the humans, which they dodged by a hair as they jumped back.

"We need it to shoot at us," Mabel announced.  
"We're too close," Wendy replied as she jumped left to avoid another attack while Soos and Mabel jumped right. "We need to get further away from it. Let's keep running the way we came," the older teen ordered.  
Without another word, the trio dashed back down the path with Chimera in toe. Every couple of seconds, the creature would swipe at them and they would dodge it quickly, gaining distance between them and the monster. Soon enough, a bright beam was shot at Soos, who ran in the middle only for Wendy to toss him the shield – he lifted it up over his shoulder as he ran to defend himself and the beam hit the side of the bin lid roughly. The man almost dropped it from the force but managed to keep hold of it. Soon enough, another small bulb was lit up on the handle. Only one more to go.

"Yo, losers!" someone shouted ahead of them, sitting upon a tree branch and safely perched high enough to avoid being attacked. "What did I tell y'?! You don't want to deal with that thing!"  
"Rowan!" Mabel cheered happily.  
"You morons need some help?" he called to them.  
None of the humans had any time to question how he would be able to help if was, quite literally, rooted in place. A loud _crack_ resounded through the space as a thick trunk grew behind them, in the middle of Chimera's path. The monster simply shot a beam through it to get rid of the obstacle.  
"Keep doing that!" Mabel shouted to the Radande boy ahead of them. "Soos," she looked at her friend, "can you use the shield when it shoots at us?"  
"Of course, dude," the man nodded.  
Another tree spouted behind them only to be disintegrated in a flash of silver and gold that burned all the way through, following behind the trio as they ran and inching closer to them. One more tree grew in front of the beam but was destroyed instantly and once the golden beam has burst through the trunk of the tree, it hit the metal bin lid that was held up by Soos. Chimera continued to fire for a few more seconds and eventually, the third and final bulb on the shield lit up. "They're all lit up, man," Soos told the girls.

"Rowan, block its path!" Mabel commanded, leaving no room for argument. A group of trees grew in Chimera's way, row after row – however, it wouldn't stop the monster for long. "Thanks! I'd totally stay for longer but we can't, sorry~!" the apology came out in one quick blur of a word as the three ran past the being's tree.  
"You're welcome, you twerps!" Rowan called after them.

They continued to run while Chimera continued to blast through the thick throng of trees and they didn't stop until they were certain they had lost the monster far behind them. Leaning on a tree for support, they were each gulping down heavy breaths of air yet smiling that they had escaped. "That was awesome," Mabel cheered once she caught her breath.  
"Well," Wendy stood straight and brushed some red strands out of her face, "what are we waiting for? Let's head back to the shack."

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

"Hey, kid," Stan greeted lazily from the couch on the porch; "Wendy, Soos." He pointed at them respectively in greeting. Clad in his lazy-day outfit, Stan sat idly on the sofa with a can of Pitt Cola in hand while he stared out at the trees.  
"Hey Grunkle Stan," Mabel beamed as she ran inside.  
"Hey, Mr. Pines," Wendy and Soos spoke in unison.  
Stan ignored the bin lid that they had with them.

The trio made their ways down to the basement to meet Ford. "Ah," the man said once he saw them, "you have what we need. Good." He took the bin lid and examined it as he spoke: "I'll work on making that energy into the stone needed while the three of you are out tomorrow."  
"Out?" Mabel questioned.  
"Yes, I have found yet another stone that we need to collect: Emerald."  
"Oh~" the girl said in awe. "That's awesome, we only need one more after that, right?"  
"That's right, then we can finally get rid of Bill once and for all," Ford confirmed.

* * *

 **Radande on Wikipedia: wiki/Radande  
Chimera on Wikipedia: wiki/Chimera_(mythology)**

 **Well, would you look at that! Nearly 3 months since I last updated! I have a perfectly good... no, a mildly acceptable... no, ok so a very bad excuse for that. I have been so busy with mock exams and I really haven't had time to write. I was so stressed and just breaking down over it because of the pressure but I am A-ok now! And not only did I not have time but I really couldn't find the energy or the inspiration. I was writing maybe one line every day because while I wanted to get this out quickly, I couldn't bring myself to. But once I reached two and a half months of no updates, I gave myself a mental slap and told myself that I was going to finish this chapter! Hooray for being motivated by metaphorical violence! I didn't really have a plan for this chapter, either so uh... yeah. No Bad Annotations, either, sorry. But thank you so much for understanding! And if you don't understand well then you're a son of a-  
I'm joking. Seriously, thanks for being so patient. Since it's the summer holidays, I hope to be updating more like I used to!**

 **I also wanted to write a character in this chapter who would be super sarcastic and insulting to everyone even though they don't really mean it. Did anybody actually like Rowan?**

 **Thanks again soooo much! Feel free to leave requests for other things we can mess with!**


	28. Erlprincess

**Seems like we're getting mixed feeling about Rowan~  
What a shame that the Radande people haven't got phones...**

 **Sorry in advance for any and all mistakes~**

* * *

"So," Bill said simply.  
"So, what?" Dipper replied but didn't turn to look at the other.  
"Shooting Star is off searching for some rock and you just want to sit there and stare at this electromagnetic device while it rots your small – and not to mention, already decaying – brain?"  
"Yup," the boy confirmed.  
"How boring and mindless."  
"What else do you want me to do? Help Mabel find the stones?"  
"Well it would certainly be more interesting than this. Say kid..." the demon flicked the back of the boy's head to get his attention. Dipper turned to face him irritatedly while the blond continued: "ever heard of the Erlking?"  
Annoyance forgotten and interest piqued, Dipper asked: "the Erlking? No, who is he?"  
"A myth, the king of fairies, kidnapper of children, _Erlkönig,_ whatever you want to call him."

"But what does he actually do?" the brunet raised an eyebrow.  
Bill removed his feet from their place over the arm of the chair and quickly stood up, making Dipper scoot backwards and arch his neck slightly to keep looking at him. "Why don't we go on an adventure and find out?" in a burst of blue flames, the third journal was in the demon's hands and he offered the book to the boy.  
Dipper took it without a second thought and reached out a hand to take Bill's – the two shook hands before the shack vanished in a flash of cobalt warmth and was replaced with the lush greenery of the forest.

Tucking the journal inside his vest, Dipper quickly scanned the area, "so what are we looking for?"  
"Do you hear anything?" the demon asked instead of answering.  
The brunet listened for a few seconds, "uh, yeah, the leaves and birds and stuff like that. Why?"  
"Don't worry about it. Anyway," Bill placed his hands on his hips and stood tall as he, too, looked around. "If we walk in," he pointed a finger to the right of him, "that direction then you'll probably hear something sooner or later."  
"Are you telling me that you don't know where this Erlking guy is?"  
"Oh boy do I get a kick out of you, Pine Tree. It's cute that you _still_ think there are things I don't know."  
"Come on, man, do you know where he is or not?"  
"Course I do! What do you take me for? Some pea-brained mortal? Now why don't we go find some Barf Fairies while we wait?" With a hand on Dipper's back, Bill ushered the boy along while said human asked:  
"Wait for what?"  
"Haven't you mean listening at all? Wait for the Erlking."  
"But-"  
"The Erlking," Bill cut him off bluntly.  
"Why-"  
"Erlking," he did so again.  
"Bill-"  
"Erlking."  
With a huff of annoyance, Dipper gave up and allowed himself to be led by Bill.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

"Y'know, Great Uncle Ford wrote about these in the journal," Dipper pointed at the small figures with his pencil. The Barf Fairies that Bill had taken them to were, as expected, disgusting creatures; quite the opposite of regular fairies. Their skin was a sickly shade of green-yellow, bumpy and unattractive; their hair was black and streaked back in a fancy up-do with lumps of brown in there. Dipper had a feeling that they used barf as hair gel – truly disgusting. Even their wings seemed to be coated in a thin layer of barf; however, their dresses seemed normal enough to be made of a black material. The brunet voiced the thought but wished he didn't once Bill replied.

"Oh yeah," the demon chirped, "their clothes are actually made of rat skin! Y'know, because rats carry diseases that could kill-"  
"Yeah, I get it," the teen cut him off with a shudder and poked idly at the fairies with the tip of his pencil, only for one of them to barf on the end of it. "Ew," he wiped it on the grass next to him.  
"Lighten up, Pine Tree!" Bill clapped him on the back forcefully, knocking the air from the human. "Keep frowning like that and the Erlking won't want you."  
"You still haven't told me anything about this guy yet, what do you mean he won't want me? Am I some kind of sacrifice or something?" he joked, waving his pencil around in a circle and leaning back on his hand.  
"Well you might have to sacrifice one of your hands but-"  
"What?" the boy panicked and pulled his hands to his chest protectively.  
"Or maybe it was your left foot?" the blonde pondered.  
Dipper only pulled his feet as close to himself as possible.  
"Heck, maybe it was your tongue or your eyes or even your thumbs – oh jeez, imagine not having thumbs, that'd be a real hoot!" he laughed.  
"Why did you drag me out here if I'm going to lose all of that stuff?!"  
"Relax, kid, I'm just messing with you. You're so high-strung, it's adorable," Bill chuckled.  
"I am not adorable, I'm _manly_ ," the brunet muttered but relaxed, letting his legs stretch out again.  
"Whatever you say, kid."

The thirteen-year-old opened his mouth to further his point but closed it again and listened carefully while Bill stood up wordlessly. "Do you hear that?"  
"Music?"  
"Yeah."  
"Nope!"  
Dipper stood up.  
"Lead the way, Pine Tree," Bill gestured enthusiastically for the boy to do just that – and he did.

The human made his way through the forest, manoeuvring his way past trees and bushes while speaking sparsely to his demonic companion, each time he spoke only being short phrases or blunt answers. "How do you not hear this?"  
"Well, you see, I got bored with this physical form and decided I wanted something new so I messed around in here," he pointed to the inside of his ear; "with a fork and now I can't hear anything." He laughed despite not getting a response, "I'm kidding... You know where you're going right?"  
"Yes," the boy answered surely as he stepped over a rock.

After some more time, the boy asked again: "you seriously don't hear that? It sounds like someone singing. You're a demon, aren't you meant to have better hearing than me?" He looked back at the blond who trailed behind him, only to shoot back around again and keep walking straight – the moment he looked away from his destination, a screeching, deafening, painful static filled his ears.  
"Just keep walking, kid," Bill instructed, patting the boy's head assuringly.  
Soon enough, Dipper gave no response when Bill tried to start a conversation, too engrossed in finding the owner of the voice. Only minutes later, he found himself humming along to the melody that filled his ears.

After ten more minutes of making their ways through the forest without talking, the duo came across something unexpected.

In their path – or perhaps this was their destination – stood a woman. Tall and slender, her skin was tanned and chocolatey tresses of hair curled around her shoulders; clad in a dress made entirely of leaves that allowed only the tips of her toes to poke from the bottom, vibrant flowers were tangled in her locks of hair. Her mouth was stretched wide, moving quickly, but Bill couldn't hear a sound coming from it. The blond quickly concluded that they had reached their destination.  
"Alright, kid, you can stop walking now," the demon took the still walking human by the shoulders and spun him around quickly.  
Dipper winced as the static filled his head again and covered his ears with his hands, desperately trying to turn around again just to make the noise stop. He was held in place, however, as Bill tapped his forehead, where his birthmark was. The static faded quickly and Dipper could finally think for himself again. He muttered a quiet _'thank you'_ to the blond as he rubbed at his mildly fuzzy head.  
"Well we might not have found the Erlking but we found his daughter," Bill rolled his eyes; "whatever her name was."  
"Is she the one who was singing?" the mortal asked and turned to look at the woman. He had to admit that he was slightly disappointed by her lack of character – no movement or talking and her singing had since stopped so she could instead watch the two. A stamping of hooves resounded through the area, audibly growing close and closer.

"The Erlking's daughter, kidnapper of children. Safe trip, Pine Tree," Bill said.  
"Wha-" before Dipper could finish the word, he was scooped up by a slender arm. He screamed – rather girlishly, not that he would admit it – when he found himself placed on the back of a horse, tucked under the arm of the Erlking's daughter. The steed that they rode upon was uncomfortable for reasons that Dipper could only guess, his main guess being that it was because the horse was made entirely of branches, wood and sticks while it's mane was a mossy green.

"What's going on?!" he cried out, praying that the woman might give him an answer. She didn't. "Where are you taking me?!" He almost fell from the horse's back and onto the floor when they made a sharp turn but luckily – or perhaps not so luckily – the woman kept a tight grip on him that stopped him from falling. "B-Bill!" He called, voice jumpy as the wooden steed jumped over an obstacle that stood in its way, the breath being knocked from his lungs when he was knocked forward. There was a burning pain in his right eye before he got an answer:  
 _'_ _Yellow,'_ the demon's voice replied in his brain.  
 _'_ _What's going on?! Why is she kidnapping me?'_ he thought past the pain, but pushed the heel of his hand into the socket in hopes of easing it. _  
'About that, I think she wants to eat you? Yeah, pretty sure that her and her_ _old man_ _eat children for dinner.'_  
 _'Please tell me you're just messing with me again...'  
'Nope!'  
_The boy groaned aloud before trying to think of a plan to save himself. The journal – surely there was something in there worth reading. Pulling the large book from his vest, he removed the palm from his eye as he opened it up to flick through the pages but was surprised when it was plucked from his grip. "Hey!" he reached up to retrieve it from the Erlking's daughter – the Erlprincess, he decided, was a suitable name – only to witness her throw it over her shoulder like it was nothing.  
"Wait, wait, wait!" he demanded, desperate to retrieve what she had tossed away.

Before he knew it, Dipper was once again a victim of her melody; the tune she sang sinking into his brain and ceasing his struggles. He turned obediently to watch the path ahead. He could vaguely make out, just past the singing, a voice assuring him: _'Don't worry, kid, I've got you.'  
_ "Ok~" he sang back happily, earning a laugh from the voice in his head.

A flash caught the teen's eye on the floor and he looked down, smiling absent-mindedly, to see that the hoof of the wooden horse had caught on fire. With a loud whinny, the steed tumbled over onto its side, sending the Erlprincess and Dipper flying. The horse dissolved into a mass of dirt once the woman had fallen off, yet she maintained her tight grip on the boy she had kidnapped.

Spitting out a mouthful of grass and dirt, there was a burning pain in Dipper's right eye while each of his muscles felt like lead, unable to be moved. The warmth of the Erlprincess was ripped away and the angelic singing came to an abrupt stop.  
"You would think she'd be capable of having a regular conversation," Bill scoffed before yanking the human to his feet and shoving a book into his arms. "Take better care of this thing kid," the blond commanded.  
"First you let her kidnap me but then you save me. Make up your mind, man, what do you want?" the teen glared at the other but tightened his grip on the journal.  
"Entertainment!" the immortal laughed before directing his attention toward the woman across from them: "so do you talk?"

Instead of uttering an answer, she raised a clawed hand in one swift motion – with the motion came a barricade of trees than enclosed Bill in a small area.  
"Bill!" Dipper called and moved to help the other only to be snatched away into those same arms once more. The Erlprincess quickly shoved a hand over his eyes, despite his protests, and there was a rush of wind before she let him see again. They were once again sitting upon the wooden steed, riding away from Bill's enclosure. He watched as the barricade of trees were set alight, burning to ashes under a cobalt flame; the immortal stepped past the crumbling ashes nonchalantly before disappearing in a flash.

The being reappeared in front of the wooden steed immediately, hands ready to attack. The woman swerved left, however, to narrowly avoid the blow and make it past completely unscathed – _almost_ completely unscathed. The leafy tail of the creature had caught on fire, being eaten by the flame at a fast rate. The woman seemed prepared and made another sharp turn and it wasn't long until they came across a river, running through it without hesitation. A shiver ran down Dipper's spine as the woman's eyes scraped over him.  
 _'_ _Probably eyeing you up to see where she can get the most meat from you,'_ Bill spoke in his head – there was that burning in his right eye again.  
 _'_ _Argh, where are you?'_ he thought back; _'_ _my eye is killing me and I think it's from being so close to this Erlprincess lady.'_  
 _'_ _Maybe if you looked forward.'_  
The boy did as told and faced forward again but no one was there.  
 _'_ _Now look behind you again,'_ Bill instructed.  
Dipper did so and was startled to come face-to-face with the Erlprincess, their noses touching. He shrieked and pushed her away roughly. "Personal space!" he cried and watched as the woman tumbled from her place on the steed's back, onto the floor.

Now that his sight wasn't being blocked by her figure, Dipper saw that the horse's tail had been burned away, its wooden body now catching on fire. "Oh jeez, I thought that went out when we went through the river!"  
"You offend me," Bill reappeared behind the boy, now sitting on the horse, too. "I thought you would know that I'm not so weak that my fire can be put out by hydrogen and oxygenof all things."  
Dipper jumped back and shrieked again, almost falling from the horse again if it weren't for Bill grabbing him and pulling him back on. "Stop doing that!" _  
_"Don't worry, Pine Tree, the chances of you suffering from a heart attack are pretty low. Maybe seventy percent?"  
"Seventy?!"  
"Did I say seventy? I meant _seventeen_ , wow I just can't think today," he laughed. "Still smarter than you meat-sacks though! Hey, why aren't you driving this thing?" he gestured to the horse that continued to gallop. Without giving the young boy time to answer, he chuckled again; "what, gnome got your tongue? Don't worry, Pine Tree, I can sort it."

Before Dipper could register half of what Bill had just said, he protested loudly as he watched the horse crumbling to ashes in the grass, leaving him to tumble to the floor and Bill to float along idly, watching him. "Jeez, Pine Tree, you're so on edge today. You should take a chill pill, they might not grow on trees yet but in a few hundred years they will."  
Rubbing at his aching head, the boy glared at his friend before brushing himself off and standing up. "What happened to the Erlprincess? I can't hear her singing anymore."  
"Oh, I dealt with her," the immortal grinned.  
"Do I want to know?"  
"Probably not."  
"Then can you at least help me out and tell me some stuff that I can write down? Because all I've got so far is the fact that she's a psycho who kidnaps people."  
"More than enough information if you ask me."  
Dipper rolled his eyes and snorted "of course it is."  
"Alright, alright, c'mon, Pine Tree." he pushed the boy backward to sit and lean against a nearby tree and sat next to him.  
"So how did you actually get rid of her?" the boy inquired.  
"That's for me to know and you to never attempt for as long as you live."

After thirty minutes of writing and conversing about the day's events, Dipper finally said: "you wanna go watch some TV?"  
"Electromagnetic pyromaniacs, here we come," Bill replied enthusiastically before the two disappeared in a blue fire.

* * *

 **The Erlking on Wikipedia:** **wiki/Erlking  
** **The Erlking's daughter is also there, too. I decided to write her into this instead of her dad, oh well.**

 **But guess who got Journal 3? Me! Barf fairies are from there, of course and who knows, maybe I'll put in some other things from the journal, too. Maybe some cursed doors or beard cubs... I don't know.  
**

 **I feel like my writing for this story is slowly getting worse and worse. Oh no. I didn't write a plan this time either, sorry!**

 **Feel free to request some things I can have the team mess with before my writing drops down to pre-school standards ;D**


	29. AN (sorry)

I really need to apologise for a few things but I'm not sure where to start.

Well, first of all, I'm sorry that this isn't a new chapter.

Second of all, I'm sorry that there may not be any more chapters.

I'm sorry that this story hasn't always been top-notch, and that my update times are so sporadic that it really isn't even funny. I'm sorry that the quality of this story has just been getting worse and worse, and that I left you all for such a long time (7 months, I think? More?) without word and _wow I am a terrible person hahahaha._

Now that that's out of the way, I would also like elaborate on where this story is going. I've always felt like this hasn't been the best story, some chapters were horrific, some were ok, and some I actually kind of liked. But looking back on it now, the plot feels over-used and unoriginal, and I've lost the motivation to finish it, and by now I'm sure you've lost the motivation to read it. If not then let me apologise again because I can't see myself finishing this story anytime soon. I have things to deal with in real life, like exams and choosing what college I want to go to – very important things.

That being said, I would like to start new stories that are a lot more original which I just might have the motivation to finish.

Apologies having been said and after being given an explanation, you now deserve a good thank you. Thank you for sticking with this story after God knows how long, and giving suggestions, requests, all of that kind of thing. It kept me motivated and I appreciate it, so yes, thank you. I would like to carry on writing different stories at some point in the future, and I hope I'll be a bit more dedicated when it comes to finishing those; if I do then of course you're all welcome to join me on that little adventure~!

And, in case any of you thought otherwise, I am still obsessed with Gravity Falls and I don't plan on finding a way of that rabbit hole anytime soon.

Once again, sorry, thank you, and goodbye~


End file.
